I am glad my papers are safe in your hands. I will make it my endeavour
to deserve your good opinion, that I may not at once disgrace your
judgment, and my own heart.
I have another letter from Mr. Lovelace. He is extremely apprehensive of
the meeting I am to have with Mr. Solmes to-morrow. He says, 'that the
airs that wretch gives himself on the occasion add to his concern; and
it is with infinite difficulty that he prevails upon himself not to make
him a visit to let him know what he may expect, if compulsion be used
towards me in his favour. He assures me, that Solmes has actually talked
with tradesmen of new equipages, and names the people in town with whom
he has treated: that he has even' [Was there ever such a horrid wretch!]
'allotted this and that apartment in his house, for a nursery, and other
offices.'
How shall I bear to hear such a creature talk of love to me? I shall be
out of all patience with him. Besides, I thought that he did not dare
to make or talk of these impudent preparations.--So inconsistent as such
are with my brother's views--but I fly the subject.
Upon this confidence of Solmes, you will less wonder at that of
Lovelace, 'in pressing me in the name of all his family, to escape
from so determined a violence as is intended to be offered to me at my
uncle's: that the forward contriver should propose Lord M.'s chariot and
six to be at the stile that leads up to the lonely coppice adjoining to
our paddock. You will see how audaciously he mentions settlements ready
drawn; horsemen ready to mount; and one of his cousins Montague to be
in the chariot, or at the George in the neighbouring village, waiting
to accompany me to Lord M.'s, or to Lady Betty's or Lady Sarah's, or to
town, as I please; and upon such orders, or conditions, and under such
restrictions, as to himself, as I shall prescribe.'
You will see how he threatens, 'To watch and waylay them, and to rescue
me as he calls it, by an armed force of friends and servants, if they
attempt to carry me against my will to my uncle's; and this, whether I
give my consent to the enterprise, or not:--since he shall have no hopes
if I am once there.'
O my dear friend! Who can think of these things, and not be extremely
miserable in her apprehensions!
This mischievous sex! What had I to do with any of them; or they
with me?--I had deserved this, were it by my own seeking, by my own
giddiness, that I had brought myself into this situation--I wish with
all my heart--but how foolish we are apt to wish when we find ourselves
unhappy, and know not how to help ourselves!
On your mother's goodness, however, is my reliance. If I can but avoid
being precipitated on either hand, till my cousin Morden arrives, a
reconciliation must follow; and all will be happy.
I have deposited a letter for Mr. Lovelace; in which 'I charge him, as
he would not disoblige me for ever, to avoid any rash step, any visit to
Mr. Solmes, which may be followed by acts of violence.'