I have deposited my narrative down to this day noon; but I hope soon to
follow it with another letter, that I may keep you as little a while as
possible in that suspense which I am so much affected by at this moment:
for my heart is disturbed at ever foot I hear stir; and at every door
below that I hear open or shut.
They have been all assembled some time, and are in close debate I
believe: But can there be room for long debate upon a proposal, which,
if accepted, will so effectually answer all their views?--Can they
insist a moment longer upon my having Mr. Solmes, when they see what
sacrifices I am ready to make, to be freed from his addresses?--Oh! but
I suppose the struggle is, first, with Bella's nicety, to persuade her
to accept of the estate, and of the husband; and next, with her pride,
to take her sister's refusals, as she once phrased it!--Or, it may
be, my brother is insisting upon equivalents for his reversion in the
estate: and these sort of things take up but too much the attention of
some of our family. To these, no doubt, one or both, it must be owing,
that my proposal admits of so much consideration.
I want, methinks, to see what Mr. Lovelace, in his letter, says. But I
will deny myself this piece of curiosity till that which is raised by my
present suspense is answered.--Excuse me, my dear, that I thus trouble
you with my uncertainties: but I have no employment, nor heart, if I
had, to pursue any other but what my pen affords me.