I will now add a few lines--My aunt, as she went down from me, was met
at the foot of the stairs by my sister, who seemed to think she had
staid a good while after her; and hearing her last words prescribing
to me implicit duty, praised her for it, and exclaimed against my
obstinacy. Did you ever hear of such perverseness, Madam? said she:
Could you have thought that your Clarissa and every body's Clarissa, was
such a girl?--And who, as you said, is to submit, her father or she?
My aunt said something in answer to her, compassionating me, as I
thought, by her accent: but I heard not the words.
Such a strange perseverance in a measure so unreasonable!--But my
brother and sister are continually misrepresenting all I say and do; and
I am deprived of the opportunity of defending myself!--My sister says,*
that had they thought me such a championess, they you not have engaged
with me: and now, not knowing how to reconcile my supposed obstinacy
with my general character and natural temper, they seem to hope to tire
me out, and resolve to vary their measures accordingly. My brother, you
see,** is determined to carry this point, or to abandon Harlowe-place,
and never to see it more. So they are to lose a son, or to conquer
a daughter--the perversest and most ungrateful that ever parents
had!--This is the light he places things in: and has undertaken, it
seems, to subdue me, if his advice should be followed. It will be
farther tried; of that I am convinced; and what will be their next
measure, who can divine?
* See Letter XLII. of Vol. I.
** Ibid.
I shall dispatch, with this, my answer to your's of Sunday last, begun
on Monday;* but which is not yet quite finished. It is too long to copy:
I have not time for it. In it I have been very free with you, my dear,
in more places than one. I cannot say that I am pleased with all I have
written--yet will not now alter it. My mind is not at ease enough for
the subject. Don't be angry with me. Yet, if you can excuse one or two
passages, it will be because they were written by
Your CLARISSA HARLOWE.
* See Letter XL, ibid.