MAGGIE AND MARTIN
That moment in her bedroom altered for Maggie the course of all her
future life. She had never before been, consciously, a rebel; she had,
only a week before, almost acquiesced in the thought that she would
remain in her aunts' house for the rest of her days; now Mr. Magnus,
the Warlocks, and her new dress had combined to fire her determination.
She saw, quite suddenly, that she must escape at the first possible
moment.
The house that had been until now the refuge into which she had escaped
became the jumping-off place for her new adventure.
Until now the things in the house had been there to receive her as one
of themselves; from this moment they were there to prevent, if
possible, her release. She felt everything instantly hostile. They
all--Thomas the cat, Edward the parrot, the very sofas and chairs and
cushions--were determined not to let her go.
She saw, more than ever before, that her aunts were preparing some
religious trap for her. They were very quiet about it; they did not
urge her or bully her, but the subtle, silent influence went on so that
the very stair-carpet, the very scuttles that held the coal, became
secret messengers to hale her into the chapel and shut her in there for
ever. After her first visit there the chapel became a nightmare to
her--because, at once, she had felt its power. She had known--she had
always known and it had not needed Mr. Magnus to tell her--that there
was something in this religion--yes, even in the wretched dirt and
disorder of her father's soul--but with that realisation that there was
indeed something, had come also the resolved conviction that life could
not be happy, simple, successful unless one broke from that power
utterly, refused its dictates, gave no hearing to its messages,
surrendered nothing--absolutely nothing--to its influence. Had not some
one said to her once, or was it not in her little red A Kempis, that
"once caught one might never escape again"?
She would prove that, in her own struggle and independence, to be
untrue. The chapel should not have her, nor her father's ghost, nor the
dim half-visualised thoughts and memories that rose like dark shadows
in her soul and vanished again. She would believe in nothing save what
she could see, listen to nothing that was not clear and simple before
her. She was mistress of her own soul.
She did not, in this fashion, think things out for herself. To herself
she simply expressed it that she was going to lead her own life, to
earn her own living, to fight for herself; and that the sooner she
escaped this gloomy, damp, and ill-tempered house the better. She would
never say her prayers again; she would never read the Bible again to
herself or any one else; she would never kneel on those hard chapel
kneelers again; she would never listen to Mr. Warlock's sermons
again--once she had escaped.
Meanwhile she said nothing at all to herself about Martin Warlock, who
was really at the root of the whole matter.
She began at once to take steps. Two years before this a lady had paid,
with her sister, a short visit to St. Dreots and had taken a great
liking to Maggie. They had made friends, and this lady, a Miss
Katherine Trenchard, had begged Maggie to let her know if she came to
London and needed help or advice. Miss Trenchard divided her life
between London and a place called Garth in Roselands in Glebeshire, and
Maggie did not know where she would be now--but, after some little
hesitation, she wrote a letter, speaking of the death of her father and
of her desire to find some work in London, and directed it to Garth.
Now of course she must post it herself--no allowing it to lie on the
hall-table with old Martha to finger it and the aunts to speculate upon
it and finally challenge her with its destiny.
On a bright evening when the house was as dark as a shut box and an
early star, frightened at its irregular and lonely appearance, suddenly
flashed like a curl of a golden whip across the sky, Maggie slipped out
of the house. She realised, with a triumphant and determined nod of her
head, that she had never been out alone in London before--a ridiculous
and shameful fact! She knew that there was a pillar-box just round the
corner, but because she had a hat upon her head and shoes upon her feet
she thought that she might as well post it in the Strand, an EXCITING
river of tempestuous sound into which she had as yet scarcely
penetrated. She slipped out of the front door, then waited a moment,
looking back at the silent house. No one stirred in their street; the
noise of the Strand came up to her like wind beyond a valley. She must
have felt, in that instant, that she was making some plunge into
hazardous waters and she must have hesitated as to whether she would
not spring back into the quiet house, lock and bolt the door, and never
go out again. But, after that one glance, she went forward.
She had never before in her life been on any errand alone, and at this
evening hour the Strand was very full. She stood still clinging to the
safe privacy of her own street and peering over into the blaze and
quiver of the tumult. In the Strand end of her own street there were
several dramatic agencies, a second-hand book and print shop with piles
of dirty music in the barrow outside the window, a little restaurant
with cold beef, an ancient chicken, hard-boiled eggs and sponge cakes
under glass domes in the window; everywhere about her were dim doors,
glimpses of twisting stairs, dusty windows and figures flitting up and
down, in and out as though they were marionettes pulled by invisible
strings to fulfil some figure.
These were all in the dusk of the side-street; a large draper's with
shirts and collars and grinning wax boys in sailor suits caught with
its front windows the Strand lamps. It was beside the shop that Maggie
stood for an instant hesitating. She could see no pillar-box; she could
see nothing save the streams of human beings, slipping like water
between the banks of houses.
She hesitated, clinging to the draper's shop; then, suddenly catching
sight of the pillar-box a few yards down the street, she let herself
go, had a momentary sensation of swimming in a sea desperately crowded
with other bodies, fought against the fierce gaze of lights that beat
straight upon her eyes, found the box, slipped in the letter, and then,
almost at once, was back in her quiet quarters again.
She turned and, her heart beating, hurried home. The house door was
still ajar. She pushed it back, slipped inside, caught her breath and
listened. Then she closed the door softly behind her, and with that
little act of attempted secrecy realised that she was now a rebel, that
things could never be, for her, the same again as they had been a
quarter of an hour ago. That glittering crowd, the lamps, the smells,
the sounds, had concentrated themselves into a little fiery charm that
held her heart within a flaming circle. She felt the most audacious
creature in the world--and also the most ignorant. Not helpless--no,
never helpless--but so ignorant that all her life that had seemed to
her, a quarter of an hour ago, so tensely crowded with events and
crises was now empty and barren like the old straw-smelling cab at
home. She did not want to offend her aunts and hurt their feelings, but
she was a living, breathing, independent creature and she must go her
own way. Neither they nor their chapel should stop her--no, not the
chapel nor any one in it.
She was standing, motionless, in the dark cold hall, wondering whether
any one had heard her enter, when she was suddenly conscious of two
eyes that watched her--two steady fiery eyes suspended as it seemed in
mid air. She realised that it was the cat. The cat hated her and she
hated it. She had not realised that before, but now with the
illumination of the lighted street behind her she realised it. The cat
was the spirit of the chapel watching her, spying upon her to see that
she did not escape. The cat knew that she had posted her letter and to
whom she had posted it. She advanced to the bottom of the stair and
said: "Brr. You horrid thing! I hate you!" and instantly the two fiery
eyes had vanished, but now in their place the whole house seemed to be
watching, so silent and attentive was it--and the odour of damp
biscuits and wet umbrellas seemed to be everywhere.
Just then old Martha came out with a lamp in her hand, and standing
upon a chair, lit the great ugly gas over the middle of the door.
"Why, Miss Maggie," she said in her soft, surprised whisper, looking as
she always did, beyond the girl, into darkness.
"I've been out," said Maggie, defiantly.
"Not all alone, miss?"
"All alone," said Maggie. "Why not? I can look after myself."
"Well, there's your uncle waiting in the drawing-room--just come," said
the old woman, climbing down from the chair with that silent
imperturbable discontent that always frightened Maggie.
"Uncle Mathew! Here! in this house!" Maggie, even in the moment of her
first astonishment, was amazed at her own delight. That she should ever
feel THAT about Uncle Mathew! Truly it showed how unhappy she had been,
and she ran upstairs, two steps at a time, and pushed back the
drawing-room door.
"Uncle Mathew!" she cried.
Then at the sight of him she stood where she was. The man who faced
her, with all his old confusion of nervousness and uneasy geniality,
was, indeed, Uncle Mathew, but Uncle Mathew glorified, shabbily
glorified and at the same time a little abashed as though she had
caught him in the act of laying a mine that would blow up the whole
house. He was wearing finer clothes than she had ever seen him in
before--a frock coat, quite new but fitting him badly, so that it was
buttoned too tightly across his stomach and loose across the back. He
had a white flower in his button-hole, and a rather soiled white
handkerchief protruded from his breast-pocket. One leg of his dark grey
trousers had been creased in two places, and there were little spots of
blood on his high white collar because he had cut himself shaving. His
complexion was of the same old suppressed purple, but his little eyes
were bright and shining and active; they danced towards Maggie. His
scanty locks had been carefully brushed over his bald head, and his
hands, although they were still puffed and swollen, were whiter than
Maggie had ever seen them.
But it was in the end his attitude of confused defiance that made her
pause. What had he been doing, or what did he intend to do? He was
prosperous, she could see, and knowing him as she did, she was afraid
of his prosperity. She had never in her life realised so clearly as she
did now that he was a wicked old man--and still she was glad to see
him. He was an odd enough creature in that room, and that, she was
aware, pleased her.
"Well, my dear," he said very genially, as though they met again after
an hour's parting, "how are you? I'm very glad to see you--looking so
well too. And quite smart. Your aunts dressed you up. I thought I must
look at you. I'm staying just round the corner, and my first thought
was 'I wonder how she's getting on in all that tom-foolery. You bet
she's keeping her head.' And so you are. One can see at a glance."
She went up to him, kissed him, and smelt whisky and some scent that
had geraniums in it. He put his arm round her, with his old unsteady
gesture, and held her to him for a moment, then patted her back with
his large, soft hand.
"Your aunt's a long time. I've been waiting half an hour."
"They've been to some meeting." She stood looking at him with her fine
steady gaze that had always made him afraid of her, and did so, to his
own surprise, again now. He had thought that his clothes would have
saved him from that; his fingers felt at his button-hole. Looking at
him she said:
"Uncle, I want to get away--out of this--at once. No, they aren't
horrid to me. Every one's been very kind. But I'm afraid of it all--of
never getting out of it--and I want to be independent ..." She stopped
with a little breathless gasp because she heard the hall-door close.
"Ah, they're here! Don't tell them anything. We'll talk afterwards ..."
His eyes glittered with satisfaction. "I knew you would, my dear. I
knew you wouldn't be able to stand it ... I'll get you out of it ...
Trust me!"
The door opened and Aunt Anne came in. She had been prepared by Martha
for her visitor, and she came forward to him now with the dignity and
kindly patronage of some lady abbess receiving the miscreant and
boorish yokel of a neighbouring village. And yet how fine she was! As
Maggie watched her, she thought of what she would give to have some of
that self-command and dignity and decision. Was it her religion that
gave her that? Or only her own self-satisfaction? No; there was
something behind Aunt Anne, something stronger than she, something that
Mr. Warlock also knew ... and it was this something that Uncle Mathew
met with his own hostility as he looked up now at his sister and
greeted her:
"Why, Mathew! You never told us. I would have hurried back, and now
Elizabeth, I'm afraid, has gone on to see some friends. She will be so
disappointed. But at least you've had Maggie to entertain you."
A quick glance was exchanged between uncle and niece.
"Yes," he said, "we've had a talk, Anne, thank you. And it doesn't
matter about Elizabeth, because I'm staying close here in Henrietta
Street, and I'll be in again if I may. I just looked in to ask whether
Maggie might come and have dinner with me at my little place to-night.
It's a most respectable place--I'll come and fetch her, of course, and
bring her back afterwards."
Of course Aunt Anne could not refuse, but oh! how Maggie saw that she
wanted to! The battle that followed was silent. Uncle Mathew's eyes
narrowed themselves to fiery malicious points; he dropped them and
moved his feet restlessly on the soft carpet.
"Quite respectable!" he repeated.
Aunt Anne smiled gently. "Why, of course, Mathew. I know you'll look
after Maggie. It will be a change for her. She's been having rather a
dull time here, I'm afraid."
Then there was silence. Maggie wanted to speak, but the words would not
come, and she had the curious sensation that even if she did find them
no one would hear them.
Then Uncle Mathew suddenly said good-bye, stumbled over his boots by
the door, shot out, "Seven o'clock, Maggie"--and was gone.
"Well, that will be nice for you, Maggie," said Anne, looking at her.
"Yes," said Maggie. "You don't mind, do you?"
"No dear, of course not."
"What do you want me to do?" Maggie broke out desperately. "I know I'm
not satisfying you and yet you won't say anything. Do tell me--and I'll
try--anything--almost anything ..."
Then the sudden memory of her own posted letter silenced her. Was that
readiness to do "anything"? Had that not been rebellion? And had she
not asked Uncle Mathew to help her to escape? The consciousness of her
dishonesty coloured her cheek with crimson. Then Aunt Anne, very
tenderly, put her hand on her shoulder.
"Will you really do anything--for me, Maggie--for me?" Her voice was
gentle and her eyes had tears in them. "If you will--there are things
very close to my heart--"
Maggie turned away, trembling. She hung her head, then with a sudden
movement walked to the door.
"You must tell me," she said, "what you want. I'll try--I don't
understand."
Then as though she was aware that she was fighting the whole room which
had already almost entrapped her and that the fight was too much for
her, she went.
When she came to her own room and thought about her invitation she
wished, with a sudden change of mood, that she had a pretty frock or
two. She would have loved to have been grand to-night, and now the best
that she could do was to add her coral necklace and a little gold
brooch that years ago her father had given her, to the black dress that
she was already wearing. She realised, with a strange little pang of
loneliness, that she had not had one evening's fun since her arrival in
London--no, not one--and she would not have captured to-night had Aunt
Anne been able to prevent it.
Then as her mind returned back to her uncle she felt with a throb of
excited anticipation that perhaps after all this evening was to prove
the turning-point of her life. Her little escape into the streets, her
posting of the letter, had been followed so immediately by Uncle
Mathew's visit, and now this invitation!
"No one can keep me if I want to go," and the old cuckoo-clock outside
seemed to tick in reply:
"Can no one keep her if she wants to go?"
She finished her preparations; as she fastened the coral necklace round
her neck the face of Martin Warlock was suddenly before her. He had
been perhaps at her elbow all day.
"I like him and I think he likes me," she said to the mirror. "I've got
one friend," and her thought still further was that even if he didn't
like her he couldn't prevent her liking him.
She went down to the drawing-room and found Uncle Mathew, alone,
waiting for her.
"Here I am, Maggie," he said. "And let's get out of this as quick as we
can."
"I must go and say good-night to the aunts," she said.
She went upstairs to Aunt Anne's bedroom. Entering it was always to her
like passing into a shadowed church after the hot sunshine--the long,
thin room with high slender windows, the long hard bed, of the most
perfect whiteness and neatness, the heavy black-framed picture of "The
Ascension" over the bed, and the utter stillness broken by no sound of
clock or bell--even the fire seemed frozen into a glassy purity in the
grate.
Her aunt was sitting, as so often Maggie found her, in a stiff-backed
chair, her hands folded on her lap, staring in front of her. Her eyes
were like the open eyes of a dead woman; it was as though, with a great
effort of almost desperate concentration, she were driving her vision
against some obstinate world of opposition, and the whole of life had
meanwhile stayed to watch the issue.
A thin pale light from some street lamp lay, a faintly golden shadow,
across the white ceiling.
Maggie stood by the door.
"I've come to say good-night, aunt."
"Ah, Maggie dear, is that you?" The pale oval face turned towards her.
"You won't be very late, will you?"
"Hadn't I better have a key, not to bother Martha?"
"Oh, Martha won't have gone to bed."
Maggie felt as though her whole evening would be spoilt did she know
that Martha was waiting for her at the end of it.
"Oh, but it will be such a pity--"
"Martha will let you in, dear. Come and kiss me; I hope that you'll
enjoy yourself."
And then the strangest thing happened. Maggie bent down. She felt a
tear upon her cheek and then the thin strong arms held her, for an
instant, in an almost threatening embrace.
"Good-night, dear aunt," she said; but, outside the room, she had to
stand for a moment in the dark passage to regain her control; her heart
was beating with wild unreasoning terror. Although she had brushed her
cheek with her hand the cold touch of the tears still lingered there.
Outside the house they were free. It looked so close and dark behind
them that Maggie shivered a little and put her arm through her uncle's.
"That's all right," he said, patting her hand. "We're going to enjoy
ourselves."
She looked up and saw Martin Warlock facing her. The unexpected meeting
held both of them silent for a moment. To her it seemed that he had
risen out of the very stones of the pavement, at her bidding, to make
her evening wonderful. He looked so strong, so square, so solid after
the phantom imaginations of the house that she had left, that the sight
of him was a step straight into the heart of comfort and reassurance.
"I was just coming," he said, looking at her, "to leave a note for Miss
Cardinal--from my father--"
"She's in," Maggie said.
"Oh, it wasn't to bother her--only to leave the note. About some
meeting, I think."
"We're just going out. This is my uncle--Mr. Warlock."
The two men shook hands.
Mathew Cardinal smiled. His eyes closed, his greeting had an urgency in
it as though he had suddenly made some discovery that gratified and
amused him. "Very glad to meet you--very glad, indeed, sir. Any friend
of my niece's. I know your father, sir; know him and admire him."
They all turned down the street together. Uncle Mathew talked, and
then, quite suddenly, stopping under a lamp-post as though within the
circle of light his charm were stronger, he said:
"I suppose, Mr. Warlock, you wouldn't do me the great, the extreme,
honour of dining with myself and my niece at my humble little inn
to-night? A little sudden--I hope you'll forgive the discourtesy--but
knowing your father--"
Martin looked straight into Maggie's eyes.
"Oh, please do!" she said, her heart beating, as it seemed, against her
eyes so that she dropped them.
"Well--" he hesitated. "It's very good of you, Mr. Cardinal--very kind.
As a matter of fact I was going to dine alone to-night--just a chop,
you know, somewhere--if it's really not inconvenient I'll be
delighted--"
They walked on together.
As they passed into Garrick Street, she knew that she had never in all
her life been so glad to be with any one, that she had never so
completely trusted any one, that she would like to be with him often,
to look after him, perhaps, and to be looked after by him.
Her feeling for him was almost sexless, because she had never thought,
as most girls do, of love and the intrigue and coquetry of love. She
was so simple as to be shameless, and at once, if he had asked her then
in the street to marry him she would have said yes without hesitation
or fear, or any analysis. She would like to look after him as well as
herself--there were things she was sure that she could do for him--and
she would be no burden to him because she intended, in any case, to
lead her own life. She would simply lead it with a companion instead of
without one.
He must have felt as he walked with her this trust and simplicity. She
was certainly the most extraordinary girl whom he had ever met, and
he'd met a number ...
He could believe every word she said; he had never known any one so
direct and simple and honest, and yet with that she was not a fool, as
most honest girls were. No, she was not a fool. He would have given
anything to be as sure of himself ...
She was plain--but then was she? As they passed beneath the light of a
street lamp his heart gave a sudden beat. Her face was so GOOD, her
eyes so true, her mouth so strong. She was like a boy, rather--and, of
course, she was dressed badly. But he wanted to look after her. He was
sure that she knew so little of the world and would be so easily
deceived ...But who was he to look after any one?
He knew that she would trust him utterly, and trust him not only
because she was ignorant of the world, but also because she was herself
so true. At the thought of this trust his heart suddenly warmed, partly
with shame and partly with pride.
They walked very happily along laughing and talking. They turned into
Henrietta Street, misty with lamps that were dim in a thin evening fog,
and at the corner of the street, facing the Square, was Uncle Mathew's
hotel. It was a place for the use, in the main, of commercial
gentlemen, and it was said by eager searchers after local colour, to
have retained a great deal of the Dickens spirit. In the hall there was
a stout gentleman with a red nose, a soiled waiter, a desolate palm and
a large-bosomed lady all rings and black silk, in a kind of wooden
cage. Down the stairs came a dim vapour that smelt of beef, whisky and
tobacco, and in the distance was the regular click of billiard-balls
and the brazen muffled tones of a gramophone. Uncle Mathew seemed
perfectly at home here, and it was strange to Maggie that he should be
so nervous with Aunt Anne, his own sister, when he could be so happily
familiar with the powdered lady in the black silk.
"We're to have dinner in a private room upstairs," said Uncle Mathew in
a voice that was casual and at the same time important. He led the way
up the stairs.
Maggie had read in some old bound volume at home a very gruesome
account of the "Life and Misdeeds of Mr. Palmer, the Rugeley Poisoner."
The impression that still remained with her was of a man standing in
the shadowy hall of just such an hotel as this, and pouring poison into
a glass which he held up against the light. This picture had been
vividly with her during her childhood, and she felt that this must have
been the very hotel where those fearful deeds occurred, and that the
ghost of Mr. Palmer's friend must, at this very moment, be writhing in
an upstairs bedroom--"writhing," as she so fearfully remembered, bent
"like a hoop."
However, these reminiscences did not in the least terrify her; she
welcomed their definite outlines in contrast with the shadowy
possibilities of her aunts' house. And she had Martin Warlock ... She
had never been so happy in all her life.
A dismal little waiter with a very soiled shirt and a black tie under
his ear, guided them down into a dark passage and flung open the door
of a sitting-room. This room was dark and sizzling with strange noises;
a gas-jet burning low was hissing, some papers rustled in the breeze
from the half-opened window, and a fire, overburdened with the weight
of black coal, made frantic little spurts of resistance.
A white cloth was laid on the table, and there were glasses and knives
and forks. A highly-coloured portrait of her late Majesty Queen
Victoria confronted a long-legged horse desperately winning a race in
which he had apparently no competitors. There was a wall-paper of
imitation marble and a broken-down book-case with some torn paper
editions languishing upon it. Beyond the open window there was a purple
haze and a yellow mist--also a bell rang and carts rattled over the
cobbles. The waiter shut out these sights and sounds, gave the
tablecloth a stroke with his dirty hand, and left the room.
They continued their cheerful conversation, Martin laughing at nothing
at all, and Maggie smiling, and Uncle Mathew stroking his mouth and
sharpening his eyes and standing, in his uneasy fashion, first on one
leg and then on the other. Maggie realised that her uncle was trying to
be most especially pleasant to young Warlock. She wondered why; she
also remembered what he had said to her about Martin's father ... No,
he had changed. She could not follow his motives as she had once been
able to do. Then he had simply been a foolish, drunken, but
kindly-intentioned old man.
Then Mr. Warlock on his side seemed to like her uncle. That was an
extraordinary thing. Or was he only being friendly because he was
happy? No, she remembered his face as he had joined them that evening.
He had not been happy then. She liked him the more because she knew
that he needed help ... The meal, produced at last by the poor little
waiter, was very merry. The food was not wonderful--the thick pea-soup
was cold, the sole bones and skin, the roast beef tepid and the
apple-tart heavy. The men drank whiskies and sodas, and Maggie noticed
that her uncle drank very little. And then (with apologies to Maggie)
they smoked cigars, and she sat before the dismal fire in an old
armchair with a hole in it.
Martin Warlock talked in a most delightful way about his travels, and
Uncle Mathew asked him questions that were not, after all, so stupid.
What had happened to him? Had Maggie always undervalued him, or was it
that he was sober now and clear-headed? His fat round thighs seemed
stronger, his hands seemed cleaner, the veins in his face were not so
purple. She remembered the night when he had come into her room. She
had been able to manage him then. Would she be able to manage him now?
After dinner he grew very restless. His eyes wandered to the door, then
to his watch, then to his companions; he smiled uneasily, pulling his
moustache; then--jumping to his feet, tried to speak with an easy
self-confidence.
"I must leave you for a quarter of an hour ... A matter of business,
only in this hotel. Downstairs. Yes. A friend of mine and a little
matter. Urgent. I'm sure you'll forgive me."
For a moment Maggie was frightened. She was here in a strange hotel in
a strange room with a man whom she scarcely knew. Then she looked up
into young Warlock's face and was reassured. She could trust him.
He stood with his arm on the shabby, dusty mantelpiece, looking down
upon her with his good-natured kindly smile, so kindly that she felt
that he was younger than she and needed protection in a world that was
filled with designing Uncle Mathews and mysterious Aunt Annes and
horrible Miss Warlocks.
He, on his side, as he looked down at her, was surprised at his own
excitement. His heart was beating, his hand trembling--before this
plain, ordinary, unattractive girl! Unattractive physically--but not
uninteresting. One of the most interesting human beings whom he had
ever met, simply because she was utterly unlike any one else. He felt
shame before her, because he knew that she would believe every word
that he said. In that she was simple, but "he would be bothered if she
was simple in anything else." She had made up her mind--he knew it as
well as though she had told him--to trust him absolutely, and he knew
well enough how little he was to be trusted. And because of that faith
and because of that trust he felt that she was more reliable than he
could have believed that changing fickle human being would ever be. How
secure he might feel with her!
Then, as he thought that, he realised how troubled he was about his
life at home during the last weeks. Amy hated him, his mother hid
herself from him, and his father's love frightened him. Already he had
found himself telling lies to avoid the chapel services and the
meetings with Thurston and the rest. His father's love for him had
something terrible in it, and, although he returned it, he could not
live up to that fire and heat.
No; he saw that he would not be able to remain for long at home. On the
other hand, go back to the old wandering life he would not. He had had
enough of that and its rotten carelessness and shabbiness. What a girl
this would be to settle down with somewhere! So strange that she would
be always interesting, so faithful that she would be always there! Nor
was he entirely selfish. Her childishness, her ignorance, appealed to
him for protection. She had no one but those old aunts to care for her,
she was poor and rebellious and ignorant. Warlock was kind-hearted
beyond the normal charity of man--much of his weakness came from that
very kindness.
As he saw which way he was going he tried to pull himself back. He
could not protect her--he had the best of reasons for knowing why. He
could do her nothing but harm ... and yet he went on.
He took a chair close to her and sat down. He, who had known in his
time many women, could see how happy she was. That happiness excited
him. Suddenly he held her hand. She did not remove it.
"Look here," he began, and he was surprised at the hoarseness of his
voice, "your uncle will be back in a moment, and we never have a chance
of being alone. I've wanted to talk to you ever since I first saw you."
He felt her hand move in his. That stir was so helpless that he
suddenly determined to be honest.
"I think you'll trust me, won't you?" he asked.
"Yes," she said.
"Well, you mustn't," he went on hurriedly, his eyes on the door. "I'm
not worse, I suppose, than other men, but all the same I'm not to be
trusted. And when I say I'm not to be trusted I mean that I myself
don't know whether I'll keep my word from one minute to another. I'm
sure you don't know very much about men. I could see it at once from
the way you spoke."
She looked up, her clear, unconfused, unquestioning eyes facing him.
"I knew my father well," she said. "We were quite alone for years
together. And then Uncle Mathew--"
"Oh, your father, your uncle," he answered quickly. "They don't count.
What I mean is that you mustn't think men are scoundrels just because
they act badly. I swear that nine out of ten of them never mean to do
any harm."
"And they think they're speaking the truth at the time. But anything
'does' for them and then they're in a mess, and all they think about is
how to get out of it. Then it's every man for himself ..."
Maggie shook her head.
"I've always known that I'd have to manage for myself," she said. "I've
never expected any one to do anything for me, so I'm not likely to be
disappointed now."
He moved a little closer to her and held her hand more firmly; even as
he did so something in his heart reproached him, but now the reproach
was very far away, like an echo of some earlier voice.
"Do you know you're a wonderful girl?" he said. "I knew you were from
the first moment I saw you. You're the most independent person I've
ever known. You can't guess how I admire that! And all the same you're
not happy, are you? You want to get out of it, don't you?"
She thought for a little while before she nodded her head.
"I suppose as a fact." she said, "I do. If you want to know--and you
mustn't tell anybody--I've posted a letter to a lady whom I met once
who told me if ever I wanted anything to write to her. I've asked her
for some work. I've got three hundred pounds of my own. It isn't very
much, I know, but I could start on it ... I don't want to do wrong to
my aunts, who are very kind to me, but I'm not happy there. It wouldn't
be true to say I'm happy. You see," she dropped her voice a little,
"they want to make me religious, and I've had so much of that with
father already. I feel as though they were pressing me into it somehow,
and that I should wake up one morning and find I should never escape
again. There's so much goes on that I don't understand. And it isn't
only the chapel. Aunt Anne's very quiet, but she makes you feel quite
helpless sometimes. And perhaps one will get more and more helpless the
longer one stays. I don't want to be helpless ever--nor religious!" she
ended.
"Why, that's just my position," he continued eagerly. "I came home as
happily as anything. I'd almost forgotten all that had been when I was
a boy, how I was baptized and thought I belonged to God and was so
proud and stuck up. That all seems nonsense when you're roughing it
with other men who think about nothing but the day's work. Then I came
home meaning to settle down. I wanted to see my governor too. I've
always cared for him more than any one else in the world ... but I tell
you now I simply don't know what's going on at home. They want to catch
me in a trap. That's what it feels like. To make me what I was as a
kid. It's strange, but there's more in it than you'd think. You
wouldn't believe the number of times I've thought of my young days
since I've been home. It's as though some one was always shoving them
up in front of my face. All I want, you know, is to be jolly. To let
other people alone and be let alone myself. I wouldn't do any one any
harm in the world--I wouldn't really. But it's as though father wanted
me to believe all the things he believes, so that he could believe them
more himself. Perhaps it's the same with your aunt ..." Then he added,
"But they're sick people. That explains a lot."
"Sick?" asked Maggie.
"Yes. My governor's got heart--awfully bad. He might go off at any
moment if he had a shock. And your aunt--don't you know?"
"No," said Maggie.
"Cancer. They all say so. I thought you'd have known."
"Oh!" Maggie drew in her breath. She shuddered. "Poor Aunt Anne! Oh,
poor Aunt Anne! I didn't know."
She felt a sudden rush of confused emotion. A love for her aunt, desire
to help her, and at the same time shrinking as though she saw the whole
house which had been, from the first, unhappy to her was now diseased
and evil and rotten. The hot life in her body told her against her
moral will that she must escape, and her soul, moving in her and
speaking to her, told her that now, more than ever, she must stay.
"Oh, poor, poor Aunt Anne," she said again.
He moved and put his arm around her. He had meant it simply as a
movement of sympathy and protection, but when he felt the warmth of her
body against his, when he realised how she went to him at once with the
confidence and simplicity of a child, when he felt the hot irregular
beat of her heart, his own heart leapt, his arm was strengthened like a
barrier of iron against the world.
He had one moment of desperate resistance, a voice of protest calling
to him far, far away. His hand touched her neck; he raised her face to
his and kissed her, once gently, kindly, then, passionately again and
again.
She shivered a little, as though surrendering something to him, then
lay quite still in his arms.
"Maggie! Maggie!" he whispered.
Then she raised her head and herself kissed him.
There was a noise on the door. They separated; the door opened and in
the sudden light a figure was visible holding a glass.
For a blind instant Maggie, returning from her other world, thought it
the figure of Mr. Palmer of Rugeley.
It was, of course, Uncle Mathew.