_THE SPHINX AND THE BATHING-MACHINE WOMAN._
[Illustration]
THEY all scrambled down from the cart and looked at each other in
dismay.
“Whatever shall we do now?” said the Ancient Mariner. “I’ve never had
such a thing happen to me before.”
“Explore the island,” said Girlie promptly. “People _always_ do that the
first thing when they get cast on a desolate island.” You see she had
read so many of her brothers’ books about shipwrecks and adventures of
that kind that she knew exactly what to do. “Then we must build a hut,”
she went on (thinking of Robinson Crusoe), “and stop here till some
passing ship sees our signals of distress and rescues us. Oh! it _will_
be lovely!” and Girlie danced about delightedly. The others did not seem
to be half so pleased about it as she did, and the Wallypug remarked
dejectedly that he “didn’t see what they should do for food.”
“Oh! you and the Ancient Mariner will have to go out shooting game and
things, and catch fishes and turtles,” said Girlie, “and we will stop at
home and cook them and keep the house tidy; that’s the way people do in
books.”
“But we haven’t any guns to shoot with,” objected the Ancient Mariner.
This was rather puzzling, and Girlie had to think some time before
replying; at last, however, she said decidedly, “Oh, I know; of course
there will be a chest washed ashore presently, with all kinds of tools
and guns in it, and another one with ship’s biscuits and tinned meats;
that is what always happens in the story books. I expect we shall find
them here when we’ve done exploring the island. Come along.” And Girlie
led the way through the bushes and trees, which grew so close together
that they had some difficulty in getting along, especially the
Bathing-machine Woman, who, as you will remember, was rather stout. At
last, however, they came to an opening and could see a sandy desert
stretching before them apparently for miles, for they could only just
catch a faint glimpse of the sea sparkling in the sunlight on the
further side of the island.
“Well, this is a rum-looking place to come to,” said the Ancient Mariner
as he viewed the scene.
“H’m! there don’t seem to be many shops about,” said the Bathing-machine
Woman, “and I hate a place without shops, it’s so dull. I don’t think I
shall stop here,” she said (though she didn’t say how she was going to
get away).
“I wonder what that thing over there is?” said Girlie, shading her eyes
and looking at what seemed to be a very curiously-shaped rock about half
a mile away.
“Let’s go and see, your Majesty,” suggested the Wallypug.
This seemed to be the only thing to do, so they all set out through the
sand, which was most uncomfortable for walking in. On drawing nearer to
it, they could see that the curiously-shaped rock was really a Sphinx
carved out of stone. To Girlie’s great surprise, the Crow, to whom she
had lent her pocket-handkerchief, was perched up beside it reading a
newspaper, stuck up in front of him.
“Well, I never, if it isn’t the Pig,” he said, turning his head and
staring at her through his spectacles, “and the Wallypug, I do declare.
Why, I’ve just been reading about you both in _The Daily Whyer_; look
here,” and he held out the paper for them to see.
[Illustration:
“PERCHED UP BESIDE IT READING A NEWSPAPER.”
]
Girlie took it from him and read in large letters, “Mysterious
disappearance of the Wallypug and the Human Noun, last seen making mud
pies on the sea shore.”
“We weren’t!” cried Girlie indignantly. “It was a sand castle we were
building.”
“Well, it’s a very interesting account, anyhow,” replied the Crow; “and
you can’t expect newspaper accounts always to be _quite_ correct, you
know, can you? I was just reading it aloud to the Sphinx.”
“What was the use of that?” asked Girlie; “it can’t hear you.”
“Oh! can’t it, though,” said the Crow; “that’s all _you_ know about it.
It can hear better than you can, I’ll be bound; can’t you, old chap?” he
said, speaking to the Sphinx.
The Sphinx did not reply, of course, but it seemed to Girlie that it
_smiled_ in a very knowing way.
“It doesn’t say much but it thinks a good deal, I can tell you,” the
Crow went on. “It hasn’t lived all these four thousand years for
nothing.”
“Good gracious! is it so old as that?” cried Girlie, while the others
stared at it in amazement, the Bathing-machine Woman exclaiming with
surprise,—
“Law! bless me, who’d have thought it, now?”
“Has it lived _here_ all that time?” asked the Ancient Mariner after a
pause.
“Yes,” replied the Crow, “of course; what a stupid question.”
“I don’t believe it, then,” said the Ancient Mariner defiantly. “What
has it lived on?”
“Sandwiches,” replied the Crow; “it’s the only thing you can get here.”
“Sandwiches!” exclaimed Girlie, looking about; “why whatever do they
make them of?”
“Sand, of course,” said the Crow contemptuously. “Any donkey knows that;
that’s why they are called _sand_wiches.”
“O’ugh! how horrid!” said Girlie. “I should think they must be very
nasty.”
“I’ve had occasion before to remark that you are very peculiar in your
tastes,” said the Crow sarcastically. “They’ve been having a rare lark
at Why since you’ve been away,” he continued, addressing himself to the
Wallypug.
“What have they been doing, your Majesty?” asked the Wallypug anxiously.
“Well, you’re supposed to be dead, to begin with,” replied the Crow,
“and the Cockatoo has headed a Revolution, and has got herself
proclaimed Protectress, and oh! there’s rare goings on, I can tell you.”
“Oh dear! oh dear! I _do_ wish I could get back. I know what that old
Cockatoo is,” said the poor Wallypug anxiously; “she will upset
everything and everybody. Can’t you suggest something, your Majesty?” he
cried, turning to Girlie; but Girlie did not know _what_ to advise.
While they had been talking, the Bathing-machine Woman and the Ancient
Mariner had gone a little way off on an exploring expedition on their
own account (the Bathing-machine Woman having first made a comfortable
bed with her shawl for the baby, between the feet of the Sphinx, where
it lay sleeping peacefully, with its little thumb stuck in its mouth).
Girlie could see them in the distance, and presently the Ancient Mariner
shouted and beckoned to them excitedly.
[Illustration:
“‘WHAT’S THAT?’ HE ASKED, POINTING IN THE AIR.”
]
“What’s that?” he asked, pointing in the air when they hurried up to
him.
They could just discern a little black speck ever and ever so far away.
“I suppose it couldn’t be a plum pudding, could it, your Majesty?”
suggested the Wallypug meekly.
“Nonsense,” cried Girlie, “whoever heard of a plum pudding sailing about
in the air. No! it’s a balloon,” she decided, after looking at it for
some time.
“And so it was. They watched it grow larger and larger as it drifted
towards them, and, at last, they could just distinguish some one in the
car.
The Crow said he would fly up and see who it was, and presently
returned, saying, “It’s all right, it’s the Royal Microscopist come to
look for you; I told him that you were here, and he is coming down at
once to pick you up.”
The Bathing-machine Woman screamed and said she “was sure she could
never go up in one of those nasty, horrid things;” but Girlie thought
that she should rather like it.
Meanwhile the balloon was descending rapidly, and they could soon
distinguish the Royal Microscopist looking over the side of the car.
“Here you are, then,” he called out cheerfully; “how are you all?”
“Very well indeed, thank you,” shouted Girlie, who was very glad to see
him.
They had some difficulty in securing the balloon, but, at last, they
succeeded in catching the anchor under a great rock partly buried in the
sand, and the Royal Microscopist quickly threw out a rope ladder and
descended to the ground.
[Illustration:
“THE CROW SAID HE WOULD FLY UP AND SEE WHO IT WAS.”
]
After kindly shaking hands with everybody, he turned to the Wallypug and
said, “Things are really reaching such a pitch at Why, that I couldn’t
stand it any longer, so set out to try to find you. Everything is
completely topsyturvy. The Cockatoo, who has had herself proclaimed
Protectress, has established herself in the Royal Palace, and has turned
out your two sisters, who have had to go to the Crocodile’s to lodge.
She has made the Doctor-in-law Chancellor of the Exchequer with full
powers to make what taxes he likes, so long as he gives her half, so he
simply taxes us for _everything_. It costs three half-pence to sneeze at
Why now, a halfpenny to sit down and a penny to stand up, fourpence
halfpenny a day to talk out loud, and twopence three farthings to
whisper, and I’m really afraid that we shall have to pay for breathing,
next. The Husher has been imprisoned for calling the Cockatoo names, and
all the King’s Minstrel’s compositions have been publicly burned, and he
has been fined forty-six pounds seven shillings and ninepence three
farthings ‘for writing rubbish’; so that, altogether, things are in a
very uncomfortable state.”
“I can’t think,” said Girlie, who had been listening in great surprise,
“how all this could have possibly happened in so short a time; why, it
was only this morning that we started for the Excursion.”
“Oh, you know how queerly time goes at Why,” replied the Royal
Microscopist. “We’ve had a whole month there since you’ve been away.”
“What’s the date there now, your Majesty?” asked the Wallypug.”
“The onety-twoth of Octobruary, I think; isn’t it, Crow?” said the Royal
Microscopist.
“My paper is dated the twoty-threeth of Januember,” replied the Crow,
“but, since weekly papers never _do_ come out on the day that they are
dated, you are as likely to be right as I am.”
“Well, anyhow, we’d better get back as quickly as possible, your
Majesties, hadn’t we?” asked the poor Wallypug.
“I suppose you are _all_ coming back?” said the Royal Microscopist,
looking around at the little group inquiringly.
“The Bathing-machine Woman and the Ancient Mariner don’t belong to Why,”
explained the Wallypug, “but we can drop them out on our way.”
The Bathing-machine Woman screamed again and the Ancient Mariner looked
greatly alarmed, too, till the Wallypug assured them that he did not
mean to drop them out of the balloon, but only to set them down at their
own homes when they reached them.
So the Bathing-machine Woman went to fetch her baby, which was still
lying between the feet of the Sphinx. She came running back a minute or
two afterwards, screaming violently.
“Take the child,” she cried breathlessly, bundling it into the Royal
Microscopist’s arms, and immediately falling back against the Wallypug
in a fainting fit.
“Good gracious! whatever is the matter with her?” said he, struggling
under her weight, while the Ancient Mariner ran to his assistance.
“She’s fainted, I expect,” said the Wallypug, panting. “I wonder what
we’d better do.”
Somebody suggested putting a key down her back.
“I don’t think that would do any good,” said the Royal Microscopist.
“Give her some of this;” and he took a small flask of sherry and water
from his pocket.
They poured a little between her lips, and she soon opened her eyes.
“What’s the matter?” asked the Royal Microscopist. “What frightened
you?”
“It’s that old Sphinx,” said the Bathing-machine Woman, faintly; “it
_winked_ at me.”
“What!” they all cried in surprise.
“It winked at me,” persisted the Bathing-machine Woman. “I had just
fetched my baby and turned round in my funny little way to say
‘Good-bye, Sphinxy dear,’ when I saw the horrid old thing wink. I’m sure
it did, for I wasn’t quite certain about it at first, but, when I looked
the second time, it winked its other eye. Oh dear, oh dear! I was never
so frightened in all my life before; I do believe the thing is alive.”
This all sounded very mysterious, so, as soon as the Bathing-machine
Woman had sufficiently recovered, they walked over to the Sphinx and had
a good look at it.
It sat quite still, however, staring straight in front of it with that
very knowing expression on its face that Girlie had noticed before.
“It must have been her imagination, I expect,” said the Royal
Microscopist, while the Crow chuckled as though he knew more about it
than he cared to say.
“Well now, let’s be off, your Majesties,” said the Wallypug, who was in
a hurry to start; but there arose a serious difficulty to their doing
so, for, when they had all scrambled into the car of the balloon, it
would not rise with all their weight in it.
“Why don’t you go back by sea?” inquired the Crow of the Ancient Mariner
and the Bathing-machine Woman.
“I only wish we could,” replied the Ancient Mariner; “only we have lost
our horse.”
“Why, he swam ashore soon after you all landed; I saw him,” said the
Crow. “I daresay he is somewhere over by the cart now.”
They decided that the best thing to do would be to hunt for him, and so
they all got out of the balloon and went over to where they had left the
cart. They soon found the old horse quietly grazing on the grass under
the trees. He seemed quite pleased to see his master again and neighed
delightedly when they fastened him into the shafts.
The sea had become quite calm once more, and Girlie almost wished that
she was going back with them in the cart, which they watched floating
away on the water, the Bathing-machine Woman waving her handkerchief
till they were out of sight. The Royal Microscopist, the Wallypug and
Girlie then hurried back to the balloon and, climbing up into the car,
they succeeded in getting the anchor loose, and were soon rising rapidly
up into the air, the Crow perching in the ropes over their heads.
------------------------------------------------------------------------