An old lady I knew, once tried to check the military ardour of a little
boy by showing him the picture of a battlefield and describing some of
its horrors. But the only reply she got was, “I’ll be a soldier. Tell
it again!”
* * * * *
Another little boy, after having listened with great attention to the
story of Lot’s wife, asked innocently, “Where does the salt come from
that’s not made of ladies?”
* * * * *
Dr. Paget (Dean of Christ Church) was conducting a school examination,
and in the course of his questions he happened to ask a small boy the
meaning of “average.” He was utterly bewildered by the reply, “The
things that hens lay on,” until the youngster explained that he had
read in a book that hens lay _on an average_ so many eggs a year!
Have you heard the story of the dog who was sent into the sea after
sticks? He brought them back properly for a time, and then returned
swimming in a curious manner, and apparently in difficulties. On closer
inspection it appeared that he had caught hold of his own tail in
mistake and was bringing it to land in triumph!
* * * * *
On one occasion I was walking in Oxford with Maggie Bowman,[46] then a
mere child, when we met the Bishop of Oxford, to whom I introduced my
little guest. His lordship asked her what she thought of Oxford, and
was much amused when the little actress replied, with true professional
aplomb, “I think it’s the best place in the provinces!”