Now the said Matthew Dixon, having fetched wares unto that place, my
Loords commended the same, and bade that hee should be entertained
for that night, (which in sooth hee was, supping with a grete
Appetite,) and sleep in a certayn roome of that apartment now called
Scotland--From whence at Midnight hee rushed forth with so grete a
Screem, as awaked all men, and hastily running into those Passages, and
meeting him so screeming, hee presentlie faynted away.
Whereon they hadde hym into my Loorde’s parlour, and with much ado set
hym on a Chaire, wherefrom hee three several times split even to the
grounde, to the grete admiration of all men.
But being stayed with divers Strong Liquors, (and, chifest, wyth Gin,)
he after a whyle gave foorth in a lamentable tone these following
particulars, all which were presentlie sworn to by nine painful and
stout farmers, who lived hard by, which witness I will heare orderlie
set downe.
Witness of Matthew Dixon, Chaffer, being in my right minde, and more
than Fortie Yeeres of Age, though sore affrighted by reason of Sightes
and Sounds in This Castell endured by mee, as touching the Vision of
Scotland, and the Ghosts, all two of them, therein contayned, and of A
certayn straunge Ladye, and of the lamentable thyngs by her uttered,
with other sad tunes and songs, by her and by other Ghosts devised, and
of the coldness and shakyng of my Bones (through sore grete feer,) and
of other things very pleasant to knowe, cheefly of a Picture hereafter
suddenlie to bee taken, and of what shall befall thereon, (as trulie
foreshowne by Ghosts,) and of Darkness, with other things more terrible
than Woordes, and of that which Men call Chimera.
Matthew Dixon, Chaffer, deposeth: “that hee, having supped well over
Night on a Green Goose, a Pasty, and other Condiments of the Bishop’s
grete bountie provided, (looking, as he spake, at my Loorde, and
essaying toe pull offe hys hatte untoe hym, but missed soe doing, for
that hee hadde yt not on hys hedde,) soe went untoe hys bedde, where of
a long tyme hee was exercysed with sharp and horrible Dreems. That hee
saw yn hys Dreem a young Ladye, habited, (not as yt seemed) yn a Gaun,
but yn a certayn sorte of Wrapper, perchance a Wrap-Rascal.” (Hereon a
Mayde of the House affirmed that noe Ladye woold weare such a thing,
and hee answered, “I stand corrected,” and indeed rose from hys chaire,
yet fayled to stand.)
Witness continued: “that ye sayde Ladye waved toe and froe a Grete
Torche, whereat a thin Voyce shreeked ‘Gaunless! Gaunless!’ and Shee
standyng yn the midst of the floor, a grete Chaunge befell her, her
Countenance waxing ever more and more Aged, and her Hayr grayer, shee
all that tyme saying yn a most sad Voyce, ‘Gaunless, now, as Ladyes
bee: yet yn yeeres toe come they shall not lacke for Gauns.’ At whych
her Wrapper seemed slowlie toe melte, chaunging into a gaun of sylk,
which puckered up and down, yea, and flounced itself out not a lyttle”:
(at thys mye Loorde, waxing impatient, smote hym roundlie onne the
hedde, bydding hym finish hys tale anon.)
Witness continued: “that the sayd Gaun thenne chaunged ytself into
divers fashyons whych shall hereafter bee, loopyng ytself uppe yn thys
place and yn that, soe gyving toe View are pettycote of a most fiery
hue, even Crimson toe looke upon, at whych dismal and blode-thirstie
sight he both groned and wepte. That at the laste the skyrt swelled
unto a Vastness beyond Man’s power toe tell ayded, (as hee judged,) bye
Hoops, Cartwheels, Balloons, and the lyke, bearing yt uppe within. That
yt fylled alle that Chamber, crushing hym flat untoe hys bedde, tylle
such as she appeared toe depart, fryzzling hys Hayre with her Torche as
she went.
“That hee, awakyng from such Dreems, herd thereon a Rush, and saw a
Light.” (Hereon a Mayde interrupted hym, crying out that there was
yndeed a Rush-Light burning yn that same room, and woulde have sayde
more, but that my Loorde checkt her, and sharplie bade her stow that,
meening thereby, that she shoulde holde her peece.)
Witness continued: “that being muche affrited thereat, whereby hys
Bones were, (as hee sayde,) all of a dramble, hee essayed to leep from
hys bedde, and soe quit. Yet tarried hee some whyle, not, as might bee
thought from being stout of Harte, but rather of Bodye; whych tyme she
caunted snatches of old lays, as Maister Wil Shakespeare hath yt.”
Hereon my Loorde questioned what lays, bydding hym syng the same, and
saying hee knew but of two lays: “’Twas yn Trafalgar’s bay wee saw
the Frenchmen lay,” and “There wee lay all that day yn the Bay of
Biscay-O,” whych hee forthwyth hummed aloud, yet out of tune, at whych
somme smyled.
Witness continued: “that hee perchaunce coulde chaunt the sayde lays
wyth Music, but unaccompanied hee durst not.” On thys they hadde hym to
the Schoolroom, where was a Musical Instrument, called a Paean-o-Forty,
(meaning that yt hadde forty Notes, and was a Paean or Triumph or
Art,) whereon two young ladyes, Nieces of my Loorde, that abode there,
(lerning, as they deemed, Lessons; but, I wot, idlynge not a lyttle,)
did wyth much thumpyng playe certyn Music wyth hys synging, as best
they mighte, seeing that the Tunes were such as noe Man had herde
before.
Lorenzo dwelt at Heighington,
(Hys cote was made of Dimity,)
Least-ways yf not exactly there,
Yet yn yts close proximity.
Hee called on mee--hee stayed to tee--
Yet not a word hee ut-tered,
Untyl I sayd, “D’ye lyke your bread
Dry?” and hee answered “But-tered.”
(Chorus whereyn all present joyned with fervour.)
Noodle dumb
Has a noodle-head,
I hate such noodles, I do.
Witness continued: “that shee then appeared unto hym habited yn the
same loose Wrapper, whereyn hee first saw her yn hys Dreem, and yn a
stayd and piercing tone gave forth her History as followeth.”