Now I may speak; you fool, for all
Your lore! WHO made things plain in vain?
What was the sea for? What the grey
Sad church, that solitary day,
Crosses and graves, and swallows call?
Was there nought better them to enjoy,
No feat which, done, would make time break
And let us pent-up creatures through
Into eternity, our due?
_Dis aliter visum._
At this letter Mr. Fowler stared, as though some magnetic power rivetted
his eyes to the sheet.
At last he slowly lifted his gaze, to fix it on Wyn.
"Is this the only intimation--the only explanation she has given him?"
The girl assented.
"It is my fault," she said, huskily. "I knew it two days ago, Mr.
Cranmer told me, but I had not the heart nor the strength to tell
Osmond; I could not!"
"It is monstrous, heartless. I cannot understand it," he said, in a
harassed voice. "Something should be done--she should be made to feel--I
think Percivale should see this letter!"
"Oh, no! No! You must not think of such a thing!" Leaping up, the girl
caught the letter from his hand. "It is not her fault--not her fault--it
was poor Osmond's!... What she says is true. She had seen no one when he
spoke to her. She did not understand what it meant! Her mind was like a
child's--unformed. She could not have remained as she was then. It is
natural, it is what I felt would come."
"But this unnatural, insolent brevity!" cried Henry, indignantly. "See
here: 'To be married, as _you_ hoped.' 'I hope _you_ will not be
disappointed.' Nothing of what it costs her to write and own her change
of feeling. I call it intolerable."
"Oh, it is better so! Better any brevity, however crude, than hollow
professions, or--or useless regret. You must not blame her, please, Mr.
Fowler. It will be all right soon, as soon as I hear that he is safe,"
panted poor Wyn, biting her pale lips.
"How can you take her part, here in the ruin she has caused?" demanded
Henry, fiercely.
"She did not cause it. I will be just," said Wyn, faintly but firmly.
"Osmond has deluded himself. She never loved him--he should have known
it. She had forgotten him in a month. She never came here, never wrote
to us, never took any steps to renew the intimacy, yet he would go on,
hugging his folly, though I told him what it would be."
Even in his agitation he had time for a passing feeling of fervent
admiration for the woman who could be just at such a crisis.
"I will spend no more time in lamenting over spilt milk," he said, "but
see if I cannot help you, Miss Wynifred. I suppose your brother's
absence is the chief trouble?"
She answered by a movement of the head.
"What steps have you taken?"
"Mr. Haldane, who is engaged to Jacqueline, has gone to Scotland Yard. I
thought it was his knock when you came--that was why I went to the door.
The girls are gone together to telegraph to a friend of his who lives in
a little remote village; he sometimes goes there, we thought it was
possible he might have done so to-day."
"Just so; then you have no idea of where he went, or what he meant to
do?"
"None at all. Oh," she began to shiver nervously, "you do not think he
has--do you? People do such fearful things sometimes ... and he is one
of those gentle, passive men, with a terrible temper when once he is
roused; you can tell, by this room, what a state of mind he was in. I
knew it would be so! I said, if she failed him, he would never do a
stroke of work again. Oh, if that were really to be true!"
She gave a cry of helpless pain.
"Say you don't think he has done it!" she gasped.
"I am sure he has not. He is a brave man and a Christian. No man who had
your love left to him would take his own life," cried Henry,
incoherently. "Keep up your courage, Miss Wyn, you have so much nerve."
"Not now--not now. It has gone. Come away, come out of this room, I
cannot bear it, it stifles me."
She moved uncertainly towards the door, almost as if she were groping.
"My head aches till I can scarcely see," faltered she, apologetically.
His eyes were fixed apprehensively on the slight figure which moved
before him. Just as she reached the dining-room door, she swayed
helplessly. It was well that the sturdy Henry, with his iron muscles,
was behind her. He took her in his arms as if she had been a little
baby, laid her on the sofa, and fetched the water from the sideboard.
Her faint was deeper, however, than he had anticipated, and, after ten
minutes of absolute unconsciousness, he was constrained to go to the top
of the kitchen stairs and call Sally.
"Fainted again, has she?" said the good woman, grimly. "I knew she
would. She's overdone, is Miss Wyn, and this here nonsense of Master
Osmond's has been the finishing touch. Don't talk to me! He's no right
to go off like that, nor to carry on like a madman because he's
disappointed. But men are poor things, and he don't know nor care what
he makes his sisters suffer. Here I comes down this morning to see Miss
Wyn fainted dead off in the middle of all that rummage on the studio
floor; and I can tell you, sir, it give me a turn, for I thought, from
the state of the room, as somebody had been a-murdering of her. Dear,
dear, she is dead off. I suppose you couldn't carry her upstairs, sir,
could you?"
"Half-a-dozen of her weight," said Henry, laconically.
"My pretty dear, my lamb," said Sal, pushing up the heavy hair. "She do
look ill, don't she, sir?"
"Very," said Henry, speaking as well as he could for the lump in his
throat. "I am horrified at her. Let me take her upstairs. You had better
put her straight to bed."
He lifted the unconscious girl in his strong, tender arms, and carried
her up, directed by Sally, into the little room which was her own.
Reluctantly he laid her down on the bed, looking with pitiful love upon
the whiteness of the thin sweet face. How much would he have given to
kiss the pure line of the pathetic mouth! How far away out of his reach
she seemed, this pale, hard-working girl whom other men passed unnoticed
by. One cold hand he lifted to his lips, and held it there lingeringly a
moment.
"Now," said he to Sally, "I will go and fetch the doctor, if you will
direct me. She must have every care, and at once."
From leaving a message with the doctor, he went straight to his hotel.
The sudden rush of events had somewhat confused him, and he could not
tell what was best to be done. It seemed no use to go hunting for
Osmond, when his sisters did not possess the slightest clue to his
whereabouts. Yet he had an uneasy conviction that it might go badly with
Wynifred if it could not be proved that her brother was alive and safe,
and he would cut off his right hand to serve her.
Oh reaching his sitting-room, the fragrance of a cigar assailed his
senses, and, not much to his surprise, he discovered Claud, ensconced in
a deep arm-chair near the fire.
"Just thinking of going to the police-station after you," said the young
gentleman, composedly. "Thought you were lost in London."
Henry did not answer. Approaching the fire, he slowly divested himself
of his heavy overcoat and gloves. Claud, flashing a look at him, caught
the expression of his face.
"You take it too seriously, Fowler," said he.
"Oh, I take it too seriously, do I? You know all about it, of course.
After the intimacy which existed between you and Miss Allonby in the
summer--after the exceptional circumstances which brought you together,
you would naturally take a great interest in her, and go to see her
frequently; but I hardly think you would be likely to say I took matters
too seriously."
"Fowler! Miss Allonby!"
The young man sat forward, thoroughly startled, his cigar expiring
unheeded between his fingers.
"What do you mean?" he asked, breathlessly.
"Mean? That I am disappointed in you, Cranmer. Yes, disappointed. I
don't care in the least if I offend you, sir--I have passed beyond
conventionalities. You have missed what should have been your
goal--missed it by aimless trifling, by this accursed modern habit of
introspection, of tearing a passion to tatters, of holding off and
counting the cost of what you want to do, till the moment to do it has
gone by. Sir, there comes an instant to every man in his life, when the
only clean and honorable course is to go straight forward, even if that
be to incur responsibility--why, in Heaven's name, tell me, are we not
born to be responsible? Isn't that the pride of our manhood? Do you call
yourself a man, living as you live now, without aim, without cares,
getting through your life anyhow? It is the life of a cur, I tell
you--ignoble, unmanly, base."
"I am prepared to stand a good deal from you, Fowler," said Claud, very
white, "but I will ask you kindly to explain yourself more fully."
"You understand me well enough, lad," said the elder man, with a stern
straight glance which somehow sent a consciousness of shortcoming into
his victim's mind; "but, as I have taken upon myself to open this
subject, I'll say out frankly all that's in my mind. Do you suppose
blind chance took you to Edge Combe this summer? Do you suppose a mere
accident placed near you such a woman as--I speak her name with all
reverence--Wynifred Allonby? Now listen to me. She was no pretty,
shallow girl, to catch the eye of any idle young fellow. Hers was a
charm that only a few could feel; and, Claud, _you felt it_. Don't deny
it, sir. You knew what she was; you could appreciate to its utmost the
beauty of her mind, and the strange charm of her personality. Do you
suppose it is for nothing that God Almighty gives such sympathy as that?
Now hear me further. She needed you, she was lonely, she was poor. She
wanted a man to stand between her and the world, to afford her
opportunity to unfold the hidden tenderness that was in her, and give
her a chance to be the gentle loving woman God meant her for. Was not
your mission plain? Yet you would not read it--and why? For reasons
which were one and all contemptible. I say downright contemptible. She
was not rich, she was not precisely in your rank of society. Your
self-indulgent selfishness winced at the prospect of a life of work for
her sake. So you put aside the chance of an undreamed-of happiness which
lay there clear before your eyes. And I say you should be made to feel
it. Strip off all your self-delusions, all your sophistry, and tell me
what you think of yourself, Claud Cranmer. Are you proud of your
insight? Do you congratulate yourself upon your prudence? Faith, it's a
marvel to me how few men read the purpose of their being aright. Why do
you suppose women were made weak, but for us to be their strength? What
calls out the very highest points in a man's nature but a woman's need
of him? I say there was not one grace of Wynifred's that escaped you,
not a word she uttered that had not power to influence you; yet you
deliberately resisted that influence and strove to forget those graces.
You are despicable in my eyes."
The room rang with his low, tense tones. Flinging himself into a chair,
he shaded his eyes with his powerful, work-hardened hand, and a long
silence reigned.
Claud did not move. His face looked stony as he stared into the fire. In
the main, every word that Fowler uttered had been true; for, though in
the last few days the young man's love had taken definite shape, yet the
old habits of ease and carelessness had still held him back. The sudden
rush of rugged eloquence had been like a flash of lightning, shivering
delusions to fragments, and laying bare before him the manner in which
he had dallied with the high possibilities offered him.
The moments ticked on, and still he sat, not uttering a word. The other
did not move from his position. Nothing moved in the room but the even
pendulum of the clock. At last Claud nerved himself to speak.
"Is Miss Allonby in trouble?" he said, in a constrained way, stooping as
if to recover his cigar, but in reality to conceal the flush which
accompanied his words.
"She is ill. I found her alone, in bitter grief. Her brother has
disappeared--they do not know where he has gone. It is in consequence of
Elsa's engagement. She--Miss Allonby, is utterly over-strained. She
fainted whilst I was there, and I went to call the doctor. You have
heard my denunciation. Now hear my determination. I am going to try for
the treasure you have tossed on one side."
Claud started violently, and raised his eyes to those of his companion
in astonishment.
"Yes, you may well be astonished. I know I have not a chance, but what
difference does that make? I know that, but for one thing, it would be
intolerable presumption in me to dream of it; but hear me. She is lonely
and unprotected--yet, she has a brother, I know, but see--the brother
has ends of his own, he is an anxiety, not a helper. She has need of
some one to stand between her and the bitter necessities of life. The
long struggle is wearing out her youth. If I could take her"--the voice
vibrated with intense feeling--"and put her down in my Devonshire
valley, with sunshine and sweet air, and every care that love could
devise, what a heaven it would be to see the color come in her white
cheeks, and the natural bent of girlhood return with the removal of
unnatural responsibility." He made an expressive gesture with his hand.
"Look at my niece, Elsa! She has more money than she can spend, she has
beauty of the sort all men rave over, all her life she will have dozens
of adorers, she will never be in want of loyal slaves to obey her
lightest behests. And yet, with all her beauty and money, she is not
worth the little finger of one of those three Allonby girls. As for
Wynifred" ... he paused for a moment, and cleared his throat, "she will
not have me," he said. "She is too absolutely conscientious to marry
where she does not love; yet I hope it may comfort her--a little--to
know that one man would--not metaphorically but literally--die for her,
that to one man her womanhood is a nobility no title could give, and her
happiness the most fervent desire of his heart."
He ceased abruptly. The feelings of his large heart were too deep for
utterance. Another eloquent silence succeeded. Claud's face was hidden
in both his hands. When he raised it, it was white and fixed.
"Fowler," he said, "I can't stand this."
He sprang to his feet spasmodically, pushed his hand up through his
hair, then, thrusting both hands deep into his pockets, walked quickly
across the room and back.
"I suppose you don't expect me to stand on one side and let you take my
chance?" he asked, between his teeth.
Henry rose too, and faced him.
"I don't know," said he, speaking with slow scorn, "why I should have
told you my intention, except for the purpose of showing you how another
man could prize what you hold so lightly. I have no fear of wounding
you; a love which can shilly-shally as you have done is not worth the
having--is not capable of being hurt. Perhaps my reproaches have
galvanized it into a sort of life; but it will die again when the
friction ceases."
"You are unjust to me now," said Claud, sharply. "What you said at first
was mainly true. I did not at once realize how deep it had gone, and,
when I did, I tried to stop it--to turn my thoughts. But all that is
past--was past before you spoke. My deliberate intention is, and has
been for a month past, to tell Miss Allonby what I feel for her."
"Then why have you not carried out your intention?"
The young man was silent for a moment; at last:
"Love makes a man modest," he said. "I was not sure she would have me."
"And pray what does that matter? Are you prepared to risk nothing to
obtain her? Lad, you don't know what love is or you would lay yourself
at your lady's feet and feel yourself the better man for doing it, even
though she sent you empty away. With such a woman as Wynifred, you know
full well you need fear the taking of no undue advantage. In my eyes you
are without excuse."
"At all events, I am not too far sunk not to resent your language,"
retorted Claud, angrily. "Are you going to offer yourself to Miss
Allonby in the midst of her domestic trouble?"
"Yes, certainly. I am no fancy lover to sing madrigals in my lady's
bower. If I have any merit in her eyes, it shall be as one ready to help
her in her hour of need. I can at least say to her, 'Here am I, my
house, my lands, my money, all to be spent in your service; use them
all, for they are freely yours.'"
"And I," faltered Claud, in an undertone, "can only say, 'I have no
house, no lands, no money; all I can offer is myself, and that I
withheld as long as I could.' I congratulate you, Fowler. You ought to
win in a canter."
Henry laughed somewhat bitterly.
"Ought I? Perhaps, if Miss Allonby were likely to be swayed by such
considerations. But she will marry for love, and only for love. Claud,
what makes me rail against you so is that I believe she loves you. You
don't deserve it, but I am afraid she does. And you--if you do not value
it as you should----" he paused, for there was a knock at the door.
"Come in," he said, irritably.
A waiter brought in a telegram for Claud. Hastily scanning it the young
man turned to his rival.
"I am to bring you to dinner in Bruton Street," he said, after a pause.
"I am afraid you must come. Percivale is to be there."
"I will be ready in fifteen minutes," answered Henry; and he disappeared
into the inner room.
Claud stood gazing into the red embers in the grate with an awful
sinking of the heart--a horrible depression he had never felt before.
Now that he felt the possibility of losing Wynifred, he knew at last
what his love was worth--knew that she was his life's one possibility of
completion. Yet he had deserved to lose her.
Resting his arms on the mantel-piece, he let his fair head fall
disconsolately upon them.
"My love, my dear," he whispered, "he is more worthy of you than I; and
yet I believe that you belong to me--that I, with all my faults, could
make you happier than he could. Choose me, Wynifred--my beloved, choose
me!"