The merriest time of all the year
Is the time when the leaves begin to fall,
When the chestnut-trees turn yellow and sear,
And the flowers are withering one and all;
When the thick green sward is growing brown,
And the honeysuckle berries are red,
And the oak is shaking its acorns down,
And the dry twigs snap' neath the woodman's tread.
The merriest dance that e'er was seen
Is the headlong dance of the whirling leaves,
And the rattling stubble that flies between
The yellow ranks of the barley sheaves.
The merriest song that e'er was heard
Is the song of the sobbing autumn wind;
When the thin bare boughs of the elm are stirr'd,
And shake the black ivy round them twined.
The merriest time of all the year
Is the time when all things fade and fall,
When the sky is bleak, and the earth is drear,
Oh, that's the merriest month of all.
_Friday, 26th._
While I was dressing, D----, like a good angel, came in with three
letters from England in her hand.
* * * * *
The love of excellent friends is one of God's greatest blessings, and
deserves our utmost thankfulness. The counsel of sound heads and the
affection of Christian spirits is a staff of support, and a spring of
rejoicing through life.
* * * * *
* * * * *
A Mr., Mrs., and young Mr. ----, called upon us: they are the only
inhabitants of this good city who have done us that honour.
* * * * *
As soon as my father came in, we sallied forth to see the giantess of a
ship the Americans have been building, to thresh us withal. I hooked
myself up to ----, and away we strode; D---- and my father struggling
after us, as best they might. The day was most beautiful; bright, sunny,
and fresh. After walking at an immense pace for some time, we bethought
us of looking for our _poursuivants_; but neither sign nor vestige
appeared of them. We stood still and waited, and went on, and stood
still again. ---- looked foolish at me, and I foolish at him: at length
we wisely agreed that they had probably made the best of their way to
the Navy-yard, and thither we proceeded. We found them, according to our
expectations, waiting for us, and proceeded to enter the building where
this lady of the seas was propped upon a hundred stays, surrounded with
scaffolding, with galleries running round from the floor to the ceiling.
We went on deck; in fact, the Pennsylvania has been boarded by the
English in our person, before she sets foot on the sea. How I should
like to see that ship launched; how she will sweep down from her
holdings, and settle to the water, as a swan before swimming out! How
the shores will resound with living voices, applauding her like a living
creature; how much of national pride, of anticipated triumph, will be
roused in every heart, as her huge wings first unfold their shadow over
the sea, and she moves abroad, the glory and the wonder of the deep!
How, if this ship should ever lie in an English harbour! If I were an
American on board of her, I would sooner blow her up, with all the
"precious freighting souls" within her, than see such a consummation.
When my wonderment had a little subsided, it occurred to me that she
would not, perhaps, be so available a battle-ship as one of a smaller
size: it must be impossible to manoeuvre her with any promptitude.
* * * * *
My father and ---- indulged in sundry right English bits of bragging, as
they stood at her stern, looking down the enormous deck. I wish I knew
her exact measurements: she is the largest ship ever built, larger than
any East Indiaman; the largest ship in the world. How the sea will groan
under her; nathless in a storm I would rather be in the veriest nutshell
that ever was flung from wave-top to wave-top. How she would sink! she
would go down like another Atlantis, poor ship! I have an amazing horror
of drowning. Came home just in time to dine. After dinner, wrote
letters; at six, went to the theatre; play, Hunchback; played so-so: the
audience are detestable. The majority are so silent that they not only
do not applaud the acting, but most religiously forbear to notice all
noises in the house, in consequence of which some impudent women amused
themselves with talking during the whole play, much "louder than the
players." At one time their impertinent racket so bewildered me, that I
was all but out, and this without the audience once interfering to
silence them; perhaps, however, that would have been an unwarrantable
interference with the sacred liberties of the people. I indulged them
with a very significant glance; and at one moment was most strongly
tempted to request them to hold their tongues.
_Saturday, 27th._
The poor sick lady, whose pretty children I met running about the
stairs, sent to say she should be very glad if I would go in and see
her: I had had sundry inward promptings to this effect before, but was
withheld by the real English dread of intruding. At eleven, went to
rehearsal: on my return, called on Mrs. ----.
* * * * *
* * * * *
She interested me most extremely: I would have stayed long with her,
but feared she might exhaust herself by the exertion of conversing. On
my return to my own room, I sent her Mr. ----'s annuals, and the volume
of Mrs. Hemans's poetry he lent me. Began practising, when in walked
that interesting youth, Mr. ----, with a nosegay, as big as himself, in
his hand. Flowers,--sweet blooming, fresh, delicious flowers,--in the
last days of October; the very sackcloth season of the year. How they do
rejoice my spirit. He sat some time, making most excessively fine
speeches to me: while he was here, arrived another bouquet from my
unknown friend; how nice, to be sure! all but not knowing who they come
from. When my visiter was gone, wrote to ---- till dinner-time. After
dinner, spent nearly the whole afternoon in dressing my pretty flowers.
Sent some of them in to Mrs. ----. I don't know why, but it seemed a sad
present to make to her; for I almost fear she will never see the
blossoms of another year. Yet why do I say that?--is not heaven brighter
than even this flowery earth?
* * * * *
* * * * *
Finished my letter to ----; went to the theatre. My benefit: the
Provoked Husband. The house was very good. I played so-so, and looked
very nice. What fine breeding this play is, to be sure: it is quite
refreshing to act it; but it must be heathen Greek to the American
_exclusives_, I should think.
_Sunday, 28th._
Had only time to swallow a mouthful of breakfast, and off to church. I
must say it requires a deal of fortitude to go into an American church:
there are no pew-openers, and the people appear to rush indifferently
into any seats that are vacant. We went into a pew where there were two
women and a man, who did not take up one half of it; but who,
nevertheless, looked most ungracious at our coming into it. They did not
move to make way or accommodate us, but remained, with very discourteous
unchristian-like sulkiness, spread over twice as much space as they
required. The spirit of independence seems to preside paramount, even in
the house of God. This congregation, by frequenting an Episcopalian
temple, evidently professed the form of faith of the English church; yet
they neither uttered the responses, nor observed any one of the
directions in the Common Prayer-book. Thus, during portions of the
worship where kneeling is enjoined, they sat or stood; and while the
Creed was being read, half the auditors were reclining comfortably in
their pews: the same thing with the Psalms, and all parts of the
service. I suppose their love of freedom will not suffer them to be
amenable to forms, or wear the exterior of humbleness and homage, even
in the house of the Most High God.[47] The whole appearance of the
congregation was that of indifference, indolence, and irreverence, and
was highly displeasing to my eye. After church, came home, and began
writing to ----. ---- called. He sat some time mending pens for me; and
at half-past one D----, he, and I packed ourselves into a coach, and
proceeded on to Fair Mount, where we got out, and left the coach to wait
for us. The day was bright and bitter cold: the keen spirit-like wind
came careering over the crisping waters of the broad river, and carried
across the cloudless blue sky the golden showers from the shivering
woods. They had not lost their beauty yet; though some of their crimson
robes were turned to palest yellow, and through the thin foliage the
dark boughs and rugged barks showed distinctly, yet the sun shone
joyfully on them, and they looked beautiful still; and so did the water,
curled into a thousand mimic billows, that came breaking their crystal
heads along the curving shore, which, with its shady indentings and
bright granite promontories, seemed to lock the river in, and gave it
the appearance of a lovely lake. We took the tow-path, by D----'s
desire; but found (alas, that it is ever so!) that it was distance lent
enchantment to the view. For, though it was very pretty, it had lost
some of the beauty it seemed to wear, when we looked down upon it from
the woody heights that skirt the road.
On we went, ---- and I moderating our strides to keep pace with D----;
and she, puffing, panting, and struggling on to keep pace with us; yet I
was perished, and she was half melted: like all compromises, it was but
a botched business. The wind was deliciously fresh; and I think, as we
buffeted along in its very face, we should have made an admirable
subject for Bunbury. I, with my bonnet off, my combs out, and all my
hair flying about, hooked up to ----, who, willow-like, bent over me, to
facilitate my reaching his arm. D---- following in the rear, her cap and
hair half over her face, her shawl and clothes fluttering in the blast,
her cheeks the colour of crimson, which, relieved by her green bonnet,
whose sides she grappled tightly down to balk the wind, had much the
effect of a fine carnation bursting its verdant sheath. I never saw any
thing half so absurd in my life, as we all looked. Yet it was very
pleasant and wholesome, good for soul and body. After walking for some
time, I asked D---- the hour. It was three, and we were to dine at four,
in order to accommodate the servants, who, in this land of liberty, make
complete slaves of their masters. Horror took possession of us,--how
were we ever to get back in time? To turn back was hopeless: the endless
curvings of the shore, however much we had admired their graceful
sinuosities before, would now have appeared abominable to our
straight-forward designs of home, so we agreed to climb the hill and
take the upper road--and what a hill it was!--the sun poured his intense
rays down upon it; and, what with the heat and the wind, and the steep
path-way, I thought poor D---- would have died. We turned once as we
reached the summit, and I never saw any thing more lovely than the scene
we were leaving behind us. The beautiful blue water winding far away
between its woody shores; close below the hill, a small reed-crowned
island lying like a gem on the bright river, and a little beyond, the
unfinished arches of a white bridge: the opposite shores were bathed
with the evening light, and far away the varied colours of the autumnal
woods were tinged with the golden glory of sunset. But we were pursued
by the thought of four o'clock, and paused but a moment. On we
struggled, and at last my frozen blood began to warm; and by the time we
reached the carriage, I was in a fine glow. Certainly exercise is, in
itself, very delightful, but in scenes like these it is doubly so: the
spirit is roused to activity by the natural beauties around, and the
fancy and feelings seem to acquire vigour from the quick circulation of
the blood, and the muscular energy of the limbs; it is highly
excellent.[48] We jumped into the coach, adjured the man by all the
saints in the calendar to put wings to his chariot wheels, and sat
concocting plausible lies, by way of excuses, all the way home. At last
we hit upon an admirable invention. The cause of our being so late was
to be, that we stopped to render our assistance in reviving an
unfortunate young woman (a lovely creature, of course), who had thrown
herself into the Schuylkill, in consequence of some love disappointment,
and who was withdrawn just in time to be preserved. ---- was to tell
this story with the gravest face he could summon for the occasion, while
we went up to dress, and when we came down we were to corroborate his
statement as correctly as good chance might enable us. We dressed in
half a minute, and found Mr. ---- sitting with my father, and ----
looking amazingly demure. It seemed, however, that no remark had been
made, nor question asked, about our protracted perambulations, so that
we had actually thrown away all our ingenuity. This vexed me so much,
that in the middle of dinner I introduced the topic of drowning, and,
with a lamentable face, related the circumstance; but, alas! one of my
auditors was occupied with a _matelotte d'anguilles_, another with an
oyster _vol-au-vent_, and all the pretty girls in creation might have
been drowned, without the loss in any degree affecting the evident
satisfaction which the above subjects of meditation seemed to afford the
gentlemen: what selfish brutes men are! shocking. Our invention was thus
twice thrown away: one said "Humph!" and the other "Ha!" and that was
the extent of their sympathy. After dinner, came up to my own room, lay
down, and fairly slept till coffee was announced. Came down with half an
eye open, and found the circle augmented by the delectable presence of
Mr. ----. What an original that youth is! They talked politics, abused
republicanism, lauded aristocracy, drank tea, took snuff, ate cakes, and
pottered a deal. My father was going fast asleep, ---- was making a
thousand signs to me to go to the piano, when Mr. ---- rose to depart:
the other gentlemen took the hint, and left us at half-past ten.
_Tuesday, 30th._
At eleven o'clock, went to rehearsal: came home, began letter to ----.
Called with my father upon Mrs. ----: the servant committed that
awfullest of blunders, letting one into the house, and then finding out
that nobody was at home.[49] Came home, practised for some time: all of
a sudden the door opened, and in walked Colonel ---- with my father. He
had just arrived from New York. He dined with us. After dinner, finished
letter to ----. At six, went to the theatre. The house was very good;
play, Much Ado about Nothing. I played well; but what an audience it is!
I have been often recommended, in cases of nervousness on the stage, to
consider the audience as just so many cabbages, and, indeed, a small
stretch of fancy would enable me to do so here. Colonel ---- supped with
us. Found an invitation to dinner from the ----. "One exception makes a
rule," say the scholars; by that same token, therefore, the
Philadelphians are about the most inhospitable set of people it ever was
my good fortune to fall in with.[50]
Towards the end of supper, we fell into a strange discussion as to the
nature of existence. A vain and fruitless talk, after all; for life
shall be happy or sad, not, indeed, according to its events, but
according to the nature of the individuals to whom these events befall.
Colonel ---- maintained that life was in itself desirable; abounding in
blessings, replete with comforts, a fertile land, where still, as one
joy decays, another springs up to flourish in its place. He said that he
felt thankful every day, and every hour of the day, for his existence;
that he feared death, only because life was an absolute enjoyment, and
that he would willingly, to-morrow, accept the power of beginning his
again, even though he should be placed on the world's threshold, a
lonely friendless beggar: so sure was he that his prospects would
brighten, and friends spring up to him, and plenty reward labour, and
life become pleasant, ere it had grown many years old. How widely human
beings differ! It was but an hour before, that I, in counting how many
stars I had already seen go down below the horizon of existence,--Weber,
Lawrence, Scott, all of whom I have known,--was saying to D----, "How
sad a thing, and strange, life is!" adding, what I repent me for, "I
wish that I were dead!" Oh, how can any human being, who looks abroad
into the world, and within upon himself, who sees the wondrous mystery
of all things, the unabidingness which waits on all matter, the
imperfection which clogs all spirit; who notes the sovereignty of change
over the inanimate creation, of disease, decay, and death over man's
body, of blindness and delusion over his mind, of sin over his soul; who
beholds the frailty of good men; who feels the miserable inconsistency
of his own nature; the dust and ashes of which our love, and what we
love, is made; the evil that, like an unwholesome corpse, still clings
to our good; the sorrow that, like its shadow, still walks behind our
joy;--oh, who that sees all this can say that this life is other than
sad--most sad? Yet, while I write this, God forbid that I should
therefore want eyes to see, or sense to feel, the blessings wherewith he
has blessed it; the rewards with which he sweetens our task, the flowers
wherewith he cheers our journey's road, the many props wherewith he
supports our feet in it. Yet of all these, the sweetest, the brightest,
the strongest, are those which our soul draws from him, the end of its
desire, not those it finds here. And how should not that spirit yearn
for its accomplishment? If we seek knowledge here, a thousand mists
arise between our incapable senses and the truth, how, then, should we
not wish to cast away this darkness, and soar to the fountains of all
light? If we strive to employ those faculties which, being of our soul,
have the strength and enduring of immortality, the objects whereon we
expend them here are vague, evanescent, disappointing; how then should
we not desire to find food for our capacities, abiding as themselves? If
we long to love--ah, are not the creatures in whom we centre our
affections frail, capable of change; perishable, born to decay? How then
should we not look with unutterable yearning for that life where
affection is unchangeable, eternal? Surely, if all the hopes, the fears,
the aims, the tendings of our soul, have but their beginning here, it is
most natural, it is most fitting, to turn to that future where they
shall be fulfilled. But there lies a road between.
* * * * *
* * * * *
A break--a break--a break! So much the better; for the two last days
have been nothing but annoyance, hard work, and heartach.
* * * * *
* * * * *
_Friday, November 2d._
A bright sunny day; too hot for a fire; windows open, shutters closed,
and the room full of flowers. How the sweet summer-time stays lingering
here. Found Colonel ---- in the drawing-room. After breakfast, began
writing to ----. Mr. ---- called: he stayed but a short time, and went
out with Colonel ----. My father went out soon after, and I began to
practise. Mrs. ---- came in and sat with me: she played to me, and sang
"Should those fond hopes ever leave thee." Her voice was as thin as her
pale transparent hands. She appeared to me much better than when last I
saw her; but presently told me she had just been swallowing eighty drops
of laudanum, poor thing! When she was gone, went on practising, and
writing, till my father came home. Walked with him and D---- to call on
old Lady ----. The day was so hot that I could scarcely endure my boa.
The election was going on; the streets full of rabblement, the air full
of huzzaing, and the sky obscured with star-spangled banners, and
villanous transparencies of "Old Hickory,"[51] hung out in all
directions. We went round the Town-House, and looked at the window out
of which Jefferson read the Act of Independence, that proclaimed the
separation between England and America.[52] Called at a music-shop,
tossed over heaps of music, bought some, and ordered some to be sent
home for me to look over. Came home, put out things for the theatre.
Dined at three.
* * * * *
* * * * *
Received another beautiful nosegay. After dinner, went on with letter to
----; tried over my music; Heber's song that I wanted is not among them.
At six, went to the theatre. The sunset was glorious, the uprising of
the moon most beautiful. There is an intensity, an earnestness, about
the colour of the sky, and the light of its bright inhabitants here,
that is lovely and solemn, beyond any thing I ever saw. Can Italy have
brighter heavens than these? surely nothing can exceed the beauty of
these days and nights. We were obliged to go all manner of roundabouts
to the play-house, in order to avoid the rabble that choked up the
principal streets. I, by way of striking salutary awe into the hearts of
all rioters who might come across our path, brandished my father's sword
out of the coach window the whole way along. The play was Venice
Preserved; my father played Jaffier.
* * * * *
* * * * *
I played pretty well. The house was very good; but at the end I really
was half dead.
* * * * *
On our return home, met a procession of electioneerers carrying
triangular paper lanterns upon poles, with "sentiments" political
scribbled thereon, which, however, I could not distinguish. Found a most
exquisite nosegay waiting for me at home, so sweet, so brilliant, so
fragrant and fresh.
* * * * *
Found nothing for supper that I could fancy. Drank some tea, wrote
journal. Colonel ---- came in after supper, and wondered that I had
played better to my father's Jaffier than to Mr. Keppel's. Heaven bless
the world, for a _conglomerated amalgamation_ of fools!
_Monday, 5th._
Guy Fawkes' day, and no squibs, no firing of pistols, no bonfires, nor
parading about of ferocious-looking straw men. Ah! these poor people
never had a king and two houses of parliament, and don't know what a
mercy it is they weren't blown up before they passed the reform bill.
Now if such an accident should occur to them, they'd all be sure to be
blown straight into heaven, and hang there. Rose at half-past five. Oh,
I quite agree with the Scotch song,
"Up in the morning's na for me,
Up in the morning early;
I'd rather watch a winter's night,
Than rise in the morning early."
Dressed myself by candlelight. Mrs. ---- sent in to ask me if I would
see her, but I had not time. Sent her a note, and received, in exchange,
the seed of what I suspect is the wood laurel, common in this country,
but unknown in ours. Started from the Mansion House (which is a very
nice inn, kept by the civilest of people,) at six, and reached the quay
just in time to meet the first rosy breaking of the clouds over the
Delaware.
* * * * *
* * * * *
I am sorry to leave Philadelphia. I like the town, and the little I have
seen of its inhabitants, very much; I mean in private, for they are
intolerable audiences. There is an air of stability, of well-to-do, and
occasionally of age, in the town, that reminds me of England. Then, as
far as my yesterday's dinner will allow me to judge, I should say, that
not only the style of living but the society was superior to that which
I saw in New York. Certainly, both the entertainment itself, and the
guests, were irreproachable; the first was in very good taste, the
latter appeared to me well-informed, and very agreeable. The morning, in
spite of all ----'s persuasive prophecies, was beautiful beyond
description. The river like the smoothest glass. The sky was bright and
cloudless, and along the shores, the distinctness with which each
smallest variation of form, or shade of colour, was reflected in the
clear mirror of the Delaware was singularly beautiful and fairy-like.
The tints of the woods were what no words can convey the slightest idea
of. Now, a whole tract of withered oaks, of a red brick hue, like a
forest scorched with fire; now, a fresh thicket of cedars of the
brightest green; then, wide screens of mingled trees, where the foliage
was one gorgeous mixture of vermilion, dark maroon, tender green, golden
yellow, and deep geranium. The whole land at a distance appearing to lie
under an atmosphere of glowing colour, richer than any crimson mantle
that ever clothed the emperors of the olden world; all this illuminated
by a sun, which we should have thought too hot for June. It was very
beautiful. I did not, however, see much of it, for I was overcome with
fatigue, and slept both in the steam-boat and in the stage-coach. When
we embarked on the Raritan, I had intended lying down in the cabin, and
taking my sleep fairly out, but the jolting of those bitter roads had
made every one of the women sick, and the cabin was horrible beyond
expression. Came up on deck, and worked till within a quarter of a mile
of New York, when I went on the upper deck, and walked about with
Colonel ----. I asked Captain Seymour how often the engine would strike
in a minute; he told me, thirty-six times. By the by, we had a race,
coming down the Raritan, with the Union steam-boat. The Water Witch beat
her hollow; but she came so near as to make our water rough, and so
impede our progress, that I thought we should have had a concussion;
there is something very exciting in emulation, certainly. The sun went
down in a watery gloomy sky, though the day had been so fine; and when
we got sight of the Narrows, sky, and sea, and land, were all of a dark
leaden hue. Our second landing at New York was rather melancholy: shall
I ever forget the first? Came up to our comfortless quarters at the
American; dressed, and dined, and began finishing my letter to dear
----, when they brought me in another from her, by the packet that has
just come in.
* * * * *
* * * * *
_Tuesday, 6th._
It poured with rain. Lucky we did not follow ----'s advice, else we
should have been miserably progressing through rain and wretchedness, or
perhaps sticking fast in the mud. Went and took a warm bath; came home,
breakfasted; after breakfast, practised for an hour; finished letter to
----; wrote to my mother; dined at five. After dinner, Colonel
---- called, and very nearly caused a blow-up between me and my father:
he came preaching to me the necessity of restoring those lines of
Bianca's, in the judgment-scene, which were originally omitted,
afterwards restored by me at Milman's request, and again cut out, on
finding that they only lengthened the scene, without producing the
slightest effect. My father appeared perfectly to agree with me, but
added, that I might as well oblige the people. I straightforth said I
would do no such thing. People sitting before the curtain must not come
and tell me what I am to do behind it. Not one out of a hundred, in the
first place, understand what they are talking about; and why, therefore,
am I to alter my work at their suggestion, when each particular scene
has cost me more consideration than they ever bestowed upon any whole
play in all their lives. Besides, it would be with me and my parts as
with the old man, his son, and his ass, in the fable of old; I should
never have done altering, and yet never satisfy any body; for the most
universal talent I know of is that of finding fault. So, all things
well considered, the New Yorkians must e'en be contented with the
judgment of Miss O'Neill, my father, and their obedient humble servant.
Worked till tea-time; after tea, wrote letters till now, bed-time.
_Wednesday, 7th._
Our breakfast was so bad, none of us could eat any thing. After
breakfast, despatched letters to Mr. ----, for England. Practised for an
hour,--sketched for an hour.
* * * * *
* * * * *
At half-past one, went out with my father to walk on the Battery, while
Colonel ---- and D---- went to ----, to see if we could get decent
lodgings, and wholesome eatables there. The day was melancholy, grey,
cold; with a full fresh wind, whirling the rattling leaves along, and
rippling the leaden waters of the wide estuary that opens before this
beautiful parade. The Jersey shore and Staten Island, with their
withered woods all clothed in their dark warm autumnal hues, at a
distance reminded me of the heathery hills of Scotland; they had that
dark purple richness of colouring.
* * * * *
* * * * *
D---- and Colonel ---- joined us, and we walked up Broadway together: my
father left me to go with them, and look at our proposed dwelling. It is
all in vain struggling with one's fate; 'tis clear they haven't the most
distant idea of the comforts of life in these parts. Darkness,
dinginess, and narrowness, were the attributes of the apartments into
which we were shown; then, as the Colonel had never eaten in the house,
he did not know what our food might be--pleasant this! _Resolved_, that
we were better off where we are, and so returned to the American.
Sketched and practised for some time longer. Mr. ---- called to go with
my father to Mrs. ----'s, where they were to dine. He certainly is one
of the handsomest men I ever saw; but he looks half dead, and is working
himself to death, it should seem.
* * * * *
* * * * *
He told me that Boston was the most charming town in America.
* * * * *
Put away things, while D---- unpacked them. Dressed for dinner. Dined
at five; afterwards proceeded in the unpacking and stowing away.
* * * * *
I was interrupted by the announcement of an incomprehensible cognomen,
which solved itself in the shape of Mr. ----, who walked in, sat down,
and began talking a deal of nonsense. I worked, that I might not go to
sleep. He was most exceedingly odd and dauldrummish, I think he was a
little "how com'd you so indeed." He sat very near me, spoke exceedingly
drowsily, and talked an amazing quantity of thickish philosophy, and
moral and sentimental potter. I bore it as well as I could, till ten
o'clock, when I asked him how long it was "reckoned" discreet, in this
country, to prolong evening visits; whereupon he arose and took his
departure.
* * * * *
* * * * *
* * * * *
Worked at the ornaments of my Bianca dress, finished one, and wrote
journal.
_Thursday, 8th._
* * * * *
After breakfast, worked at my dress till late; Mr. ---- called. Put away
goods and chattels; put out things for the theatre. A brother of Mr.
---- called upon us, and sat some time: when he was gone, came back to
my room to finish the ornaments for my dress. This day has been spent in
the thorough surroundings of my vocation; foil stone, glass beads, and
brass tape! ---- came just before dinner; and at the end of it, Colonel
---- called. He read us a paragraph in one of the Philadelphia papers,
upon me, and all my good parts; there was actually a column of them. It
was well written, for I was absolute perfection; excepting, indeed, in
one respect, the hauteur and disdain with which I had treated the
"_rank_ and fashion of Philadelphia." Now this was not true, for, to
speak candidly, I did not know that there were such things as rank and
fashion in all America. However, the article made me laugh extremely,
for, as I could not help observing, "there are real lords and ladies in
my country."[53]
* * * * *
Came to my own room,--refurbished my green velvet bonnet. 'Tis a worthy
old thing that, and looks amazingly well. The cold weather is setting in
very bitterly to-day; we were obliged to have a fire. Heard my father
his part: whilst saying it, he received a subpoena on some business
between Mr. ---- and Mr. ----. At a quarter to six, went to the theatre.
Play, Fazio; house very fine; dress like a bonfire. I played well, but
then my father was the Fazio. The people cried abundantly. Mrs. ---- was
shocked at having to play that naughty woman Aldabella (I wish they
would let me try that part); and when the Duke dismissed her in the
last scene, picked up her train, and flounced off in a way that made the
audience for to laugh. Coming home, Mr. ---- overtook us. My father
asked him in, but he excused himself; before, however, we were well
seated, he had repented the refusal, and came rushing back. Colonel ----
came in, and they both of them supped with us, discussing many matters
of pith. Received a nosegay, as big as myself, of dahlias and other
autumnal flowers.
* * * * *
The moon is resplendent! the earth is flooded with her cold
light--beautiful! By the by, _last night_, at three o'clock this
morning, I was awakened by music. It was a military band playing Yankee
Doodle, the national anthem of the Americans, accompanied by the tramp
of a considerable body of men. They took the direction of the Park, and
there halted, when I heard a single voice haranguing for a length of
time, with occasional interruptions of vehement huzzas, and rolling of
drums. And anon, the march struck up again, grew faint, and died into
the stillness of night.
* * * * *
I was much bounden to the Jacksonites, who are carrying it by fair means
or foul. One man, I was assured, voted nine times over! He was an
Irishman, and, it is to be presumed, a tailor.
_Saturday, 10th._
Skipped yesterday: so much the better, for though it began, like May,
with flowers and sunshine, it ended, like December, with the sulks, and
a fit of crying. The former were furnished me by my friends and Heaven,
the latter, by myself and the devil.
* * * * *
* * * * *
At six o'clock, D---- roused me; and grumpily enough I arose. I dressed
myself by candlelight in a hurry. Really, by way of a party of pleasure,
'tis too abominable to get up in the middle of the night this fashion.
At half-past six, Colonel ---- came; and as soon as I could persuade
myself into my clothes, we set off to walk to the quay. Just as we were
nearing the bottom of Barclay Street, the bell rang from the steam-boat,
to summon all loiterers on board; and forthwith we rushed, because in
this country steam and paddles, like wind and tide in others, wait for
no man. We got on board in plenty time, but D---- was nearly killed with
the pace at which we had walked, in order to do so. One of the first
persons we saw was Mr. ----, who was going up to his father's place
beyond West Point, by name Hyde Park, which sounds mighty magnificent. I
did not remain long on the second deck, but ascended to the first with
Colonel ----, and paced to and fro with infinite zeal till
breakfast-time. The morning was grey and sad-looking, and I feared we
should not have a fine day: however, towards eight o'clock, the grey
clouds parted, and the blue serene eyes of heaven looked down upon the
waters; the waves began to sparkle, though the sun had not yet appeared;
the sky was lighter, and faint shadows began to appear beside the
various objects that surrounded us, all which symptoms raised our hopes
of the weather. At eight o'clock, we went down to breakfast. Nobody, who
has not seen it, can conceive the strange aspect of the long room of one
of these fine boats at meal-time. The crowd, the hurry, the confusion of
tongues, like the sound of many waters, the enormous consumption of
eatables, the mingled demands for more, the cloud of black waiters
hovering down the sides of the immense tables, the hungry eager faces
seated at them, form altogether a most amusing subject of contemplation,
and a caricaturist would find ample matter for his vein in almost every
other devouring countenance. As far as regards the speed, safety, and
convenience with which these vessels enable one to perform what would be
in any other conveyance most fatiguing journeys, they are admirable
inventions. The way in which they are conducted, too, deserves the
highest commendation. Nothing can exceed the comfort with which they are
fitted up, the skill with which they are managed, and the order and
alacrity with which passengers are taken up from, or landed at, the
various points along the river. The steamer goes at the rate of fifteen
miles an hour; and in less than two minutes, when approaching any place
of landing, the engine stops, the boat is lowered--the captain always
convoys his passengers himself from the steamer to the shore--away darts
the tiny skiff, held by a rope to the main boat; as soon as it grazes
the land, its freight, animate and inanimate, is bundled out, the boat
hauls itself back in an instant, and immediately the machine is in
motion, and the vessel again bounding over the water like a
race-horse.[54] Doubtless all this has many and great advantages; but to
an English person, the mere circumstance of being the whole day in a
crowd is a nuisance. As to privacy at any time, or under any
circumstances, 'tis a thing that enters not into the imagination of an
American. They do not seem to comprehend that to be from sunrise to
sunset one of a hundred and fifty people confined in a steam-boat is in
itself a great misery, or that to be left by one's self and to one's
self can ever be desirable. They live all the days of their lives in a
throng, eat at ordinaries of two or three hundred, sleep five or six in
a room, take pleasure in droves, and travel by swarms.[55]
* * * * *
In spite, therefore, of all its advantages, this mode of journeying has
its drawbacks, and the greatest of all, to me, is the being
_companioned_ by so many strangers, who crowd about you, pursue their
conversation in your very ears, or, if they like it better, listen to
yours, stare you out of all countenance, and squeeze you out of all
comfort. It is perfectly intolerable to me; but then I have more than
even the national English abhorrence of coming in contact with
strangers. There is no moment of my life when I would not rather be
alone than in company; and feeling, as I often do, the society of even
those I love a burden, the being eternally surrounded by indifferent
persons is a positive suffering that interferes with every enjoyment,
and makes pleasure three parts endurance. I think this constant living
in public is one reason why the young women here are much less retiring
and shy than English girls. Instead of the domestic privacy in which
women among us are accustomed to live, and move, and have their being,
here they are incessantly, as Mr. ---- says, "_en évidence_." Accustomed
to the society of strangers, mixing familiarly with persons of whom they
know nothing earthly, subject to the gaze of a crowd from morning till
night, pushing, and pressing, and struggling in self-defence,
conversing, and being conversed with, by the chance companions of a
boarding-house, a steam-boat, or the hotel of a fashionable
watering-place, they must necessarily lose every thing like reserve or
bashfulness of deportment, and become free and familiar in their
manners, and noisy and unrefined in their tone and style of
conversation.[56] An English girl of sixteen, put on board one of these
Noah's arks (for verily there be clean and unclean beasts in them),
would feel and look like a scared thing. To return to our progress.
After losing sight of New York, the river becomes narrower in its bed,
and the banks on either side assume a higher and more rocky appearance.
A fine range of basaltic rock, called the Palisadoes, rising to a height
of some hundred feet (I guess), immediately from the water on the left,
forms a natural rampart, overhanging the river for several miles. The
colour of the basalt was greenish grey, and contrasted finely with the
opposite shore, whose softer undulations were yet clothed with verdure,
and adorned with patches of woodland, robed in the glorious colours of
an American autumn. While despatching breakfast, the reflection of the
sun's rays on the water flickered to and fro upon the cabin ceiling; and
through the loop-hole windows we saw the bright foam round the paddles
sparkling like frothed gold in the morning light. On our return to the
deck, the face of the world had become resplendent with the glorious
sunshine that now poured from the east; and rock and river, earth and
sky, shone in intense and dazzling brilliancy. The broad Hudson curled
into a thousand crisp billows under the fresh north-wester that blew
over it. The vaporous exhalations of night had melted from the horizon,
and the bold rocky range of one shore, and exquisite rolling outline of
the other, stood out in fair relief against the deep serene of the blue
heavens.
* * * * *
I remained on deck without my bonnet, walking to and fro, and enjoying
the delicious wind that was as bracing as a shower-bath. Mr. ---- most
civilly offered me, when I returned to New York, the use of a horse, and
himself as escort to a beautiful ride beyond Hoboken, which proffer was
very gratefully received by me. Colonel ---- introduced me to an old man
of the name of ----.
* * * * *
* * * * *
a jester, and a long story-teller;--a man whom it would be awful to meet
when you were too late for dinner, still more awful on your progress to
a rendezvous;--a man to whom a listener is a Godsend, and a button an
anchor of discoursing for half a day. He made me laugh once or twice
heartily. As we passed the various points of the river, to which any
interest, legendary or historical, attached, each of my three companions
drew my attention to it; and I had, pretty generally, three variations
of the same anecdote at each point of observation. On we boiled past
Spitendevil creek,[57] where the waters of the broad Hudson join those
of the East River, and circle with their silver arms the island of
Manhattan. Past the last stupendous reach of the Palisadoes, which,
stretching out into an endless promontory, seems to grow with the
mariner's onward progress, and bears witness to the justice with which
Hudson, on his exploring voyage up the river, christened it, the "weary
point." Past the thick masses of wood that mark the shadowy site of
Sleepy Hollow.[58] Past the marble prison of Sing Sing; and Tarrytown,
where poor André was taken; and on the opposite shore, saw the
glimmering white buildings, among which his tomb reposes.--By the by,
for a bit of the marvellous, which I dearly love. I am credibly informed
that on the day the traitor Arnold died, in England, a thunderbolt
struck the tree that grew above André's tomb here, on the shores of the
Hudson--nice, that! Crossed the broad, glorious, Tappan Sea, where the
shores, receding, form a huge basin, where the brimming waters roll in
an expanse of lake-like width, yet hold their rapid current to the
ocean, themselves a running sea. The giant shadows of the mountains on
the left, falling on the deep basin at their feet, the triumphant
sunlight that made the restless mirror that reflected it too bright for
the eye to rest upon, the sunny shores to the right, rising and falling
in every exquisite form that hill and dale can wear, the jutting masses
of granite, glittering like the diamond rocks of fairy-land in the sun,
the golden waves flinging themselves up every tiny crevice, the glowing
crimson foliage of the distant woods, the fresh vivid green of the
cedars, that rifted their strong roots in every stony cleft, and threw a
semblance of summer over these November days--all, all was beautiful,
and full of brightness. We passed the lighthouse of Stony Point, now the
peaceful occupant of the territory where the blood in English veins was
poured out by English hands, during the struggle between old-established
tyranny and the infant liberties of this giant world. Over all and each,
the blessed sky bent its blue arch, resplendently clear and bright,
while far away the distant summits of the Highlands rose one above
another, shutting in the world, and almost appearing as though each bend
of the river must find us locked in their shadowy circle, without means
of onward progress.
* * * * *
* * * * *
* * * * *
At every moment, the scene varied; at every moment, new beauty and
grandeur was revealed to us; at every moment, the delicious lights and
shadows fell with richer depth and brightness upon higher openings into
the mountains, and fairer bends of the glorious river. At about a
quarter to eleven, the buildings of West Point were seen, perched upon
the rock side, overhanging the water; above, the woody rise, upon whose
summit stands the large hotel, the favourite resort of visiters during
the summer season; rising again above this, the ruins of Fort Putnam,
poor André's prison-house, overlooking the Hudson and its shores; and,
towering high beyond them all, the giant hills, upon whose brown
shoulders the trees looked like bristles standing up against the sky. We
left the boat, or rather she left us, and presently we saw her holding
her course far up the bright water, and between the hills; where framed
by the dark mountains, with the sapphire stream below and the sapphire
sky above, lay the bright little town of Newburgh, with its white
buildings glittering in the sunshine.
* * * * *
* * * * *
* * * * *
We toiled up the ascent, which, though by comparison with its
over-peering fellows inconsiderable, was a sufficiently fatiguing
undertaking under the unclouded weather and over the unshaded downs that
form the parade-ground for the cadets. West Point is a military
establishment, containing some two hundred and fifty pupils, who are
here educated for the army under the superintendence of experienced
officers.[59] The buildings, in which they reside and pursue their
various studies, stand upon a grassy knoll holding the top of the rocky
bank of the river, and commanding a most enchanting view of its course.
They are not particularly extensive, but commodious and well-ordered. I
am told they have a good library; but on reaching the dwelling of Mr.
Cozzens (proprietor of the hotel, which being at this season shut, he
received us most hospitably and courteously in his own house), I felt so
weary, that I thought it impossible I should stir again for the whole
day, and declined seeing it. I had walked on the deck at an amazing
pace, and without once sitting down, from eight o'clock till eleven; and
I think must nearly have killed Colonel ----, who was my companion
during this march. However, upon finding that it wanted full an hour
till dinner-time, it was agreed that we should go up to the fort, and
we set off under the guidance of one of Mr. Cozzens' servants, who had
orders not to go too fast with us. Before turning into the woods that
cover the foot of the mountain, we followed a bit of road that overhung
the river; and stealing over its sleepy-looking waters, where shone like
stars the white sails of many a tiny skiff, came the delicious notes of
a bugle-horn. The height at which we stood above the water prevented the
ear being satisfied with the complete subject of the musician, but the
sweet broken tones that came rising from the far-down thickets that
skirted the river had more harmony than a distinct and perfect strain. I
stood entranced to listen--the whole was like a dream of fairy-land: but
presently our guide struck into the woods, and the world became screened
from our sight. I had thought that I was tired, and could not stir, even
to follow the leisurely footsteps of our cicerone; but tangled brake and
woodland path, and rocky height, soon roused my curiosity, and my legs
following therewith, I presently outstripped our party, guide and all,
and began pursuing my upward path, through close-growing trees and
shrubs, over pale shining ledges of granite, over which the trickling
mountain springs had taken their silvery course; through swampy grounds,
where the fallen leaves lay like gems under the still pools that here
and there shone dimly in little hollow glens; over the soft starry moss
that told where the moist earth retained the freshening waters, over
sharp hard splinters of rock, and rough masses of stone. Alone, alone, I
was alone and happy, and went on my way rejoicing, climbing and climbing
still, till the green mound of thick turf, and ruined rampart of the
fort arrested my progress. I coasted the broken wall, and, lighting down
on a broad smooth table of granite fringed with young cedar bushes, I
looked down, and for a moment my breath seemed to stop, the pulsation of
my heart to cease--I was filled with awe. The beauty and wild sublimity
of what I beheld seemed almost to crush my faculties,--I felt dizzy as
though my senses were drowning,--I felt as though I had been carried
into the immediate presence of God. Though I were to live a thousand
years, I never can forget it. The first thing that I distinctly saw was
the shadow of a large cloud, which rolled slowly down the side of a huge
mountain, frowning over the height where I stood. The shadow moved down
its steep sunny side, threw a deep blackness over the sparkling river,
and then passed off and climbed the opposite mountain on the other
shore, leaving the world in the full blaze of noon. I could have
stretched out my arms, and shouted aloud--I could have fallen on my
knees, and worshipped--I could have committed any extravagance that
ecstasy could suggest. I stood filled with amazement and delight, till
the footsteps and voices of my companions roused me. I darted away,
unwilling to be interrupted. Colonel ---- was following me, but I
peremptorily forbade his doing so, and was clambering on alone, when the
voice of our guide, assuring me that the path I was pursuing was
impassable, arrested my course. My father beckoned to me from above not
to pursue my track; so I climbed through a break, which the rocky walls
of nature and the broken fortifications of art rendered tolerably
difficult of access, and running round the wall joined my father on his
high stand, where he was holding out his arms to me. For two or three
minutes we mingled exclamations of delight and surprise: he then led me
to the brink of the rampart; and, looking down the opposite angle of the
wall to that which I was previously coasting, I beheld the path I was
then following break suddenly off, on the edge of a precipice several
hunched feet down into the valley: it made me gulp to look at it.
Presently I left my father, and, after going the complete round of the
ruins, found out for myself a grassy knoll commanding a full view of the
scene, sufficiently far from my party not to hear their voices, and
screened from seeing them by some beautiful young cedar bushes; and here
I lay down and cried most abundantly, by which means I recovered my
senses, which else, I think, must have forsaken me. How full of thoughts
I was! Of God's great might, and gracious goodness, of the beauty of
this earth, of the apparent nothingness of man when compared with this
huge inanimate creation, of his wondrous value, for whose delight and
use all these fair things were created! I thought of my distant home;
that handful of earth thrown upon the wide waters, whose genius has led
the kingdoms of the world--whose children have become the possessors of
this new hemisphere. I rejoiced to think that when England shall be, as
all things must be, fallen into the devouring past, her language will
still be spoken among these glorious hills, her name revered, her memory
cherished, her fame preserved here, in this far world beyond the seas,
this country of her children's adoption. Poor old mother! how she would
remain amazed to see the huge earth and waters where her voice is heard,
in the name of every spot where her descendants have rested the soles
of their feet: this giant inheritance of her sons, poor, poor, old
England!
* * * * *
Where are the poets of this land? Why, such a world should bring forth
men with minds and souls larger and stronger than any that ever dwelt in
mortal flesh! Where are the poets of this land? They should be giants,
too; Homers and Miltons, and Goethes and Dantes, and Shakspeares. Have
these glorious scenes poured no inspirings into hearts worthy to behold
and praise their beauty? Is there none to come here and worship among
these hills and waters till his heart burns within him, and the hymn of
inspiration flows from his lips, and rises to the sky? Is there not one
among the sons of such a soil to send forth its praises to the universe,
to throw new glory round the mountains, new beauty over the waves? Is
inanimate nature, alone, here "telling the glories of God?" Oh, surely,
surely, there will come a time when this lovely land will be vocal with
the sound of song, when every close-locked valley and waving wood,
rifted rock and flowing stream, shall have their praise. Yet 'tis
strange how marvellously unpoetical these people are! How swallowed up
in life and its daily realities, wants, and cares! How full of toil and
thrift, and money-getting labour! Even the heathen Dutch, among us the
very antipodes of all poetry, have found names such as the Donder Berg
for the hills, whilst the Americans christen them Butter Hill, the
Crow's Nest, and _such like_. Perhaps some hundred years hence, when
wealth has been amassed by individuals, and the face of society begins
to grow checkered, as in the old lands of Europe, when the whole mass of
population shall no longer go running along the level road of toil and
profit, when inequalities of rank shall exist, and the rich man shall be
able to pay for the luxury of poetry, and the poor man who makes verses
no longer be asked, "Why don't you cast up accounts?" when all this
comes to pass, as _perhaps_ some day it may, America will have poets. It
seems strange to me that men, such as the early settlers in
Massachusetts, the Puritan founders of New England, the "Pilgrim
Fathers," should not have had amongst them some men, or at least man, in
whose mind the stern and enduring courage, the fervent enthusiastic
piety, the unbending love of liberty, which animated them all, became
the inspiration to poetic thought, and the suggestion of poetical
utterance. They should have had a Milton or a Klopstock amongst them.
Yet, after all, they had excitement of another sort, and, moreover, the
difficulties and dangers, and distresses of a fate of unparalleled
hardship, to engross all the energies of their minds; and I am half
inclined to believe that poetry is but a hothouse growth, and yet I
don't know: I wish somebody would explain to me every thing in this
world that I can't make out.[60] We came down from the mountain at
about half-past one: our party had been joined by Colonel ----, governor
of the College, who very courteously came toiling up to Fort Putnam, to
pay his compliments to us. I lingered far behind them, returning; and,
when they were out of sight, turned back, and once more ascended the
ruin, to look my last of admiration and delight, and then down, down,
every step bringing me out of the clouds, farther from heaven, and
nearer this work i' day world. I loitered, and loitered, looking back at
every step; but at last the hills were shut out by a bend in the road,
and I came into the house to throw myself down on the floor, and sleep
most seriously for half an hour; at the end of which time we were called
to dinner.
In England, if an innkeeper gives you a good dinner, and places the
first dish on the table himself, you pay him, and he's obliged to you.
Here, an innkeeper is a gentleman, your equal, sits at his table with
you, you pay him, and are obliged to him besides. 'Tis necessary
therefore for a stranger, but especially an Englishman, to understand
the fashions of the land, else he may chance to mistake that for an
impertinent familiarity, which is in fact the received custom of the
country. Mr. Cozzens very considerately gave us our dinner in a private
room, instead of seating us at an ordinary with all the West Point
officers. Moreover, _gave_ in the literal sense, and a very good dinner
it was. He is himself a very intelligent courteous person, and, during
the very short time that we were his guests, showed us every possible
attention and civility. We had scarce finished our dinner, when in
rushed a waiter to tell us that the boat was in sight. Away we trotted,
trailing cloaks, and shawls, any-how fashion, down the hill. The steamer
came puffing up the gorge between the mountains, and in a moment we were
bundled into the boat, hauled alongside, and landed on the deck; and
presently the glorious highlands, all glowing in the rosy sunset, began
to recede from us. Just as we were putting off from shore, a tiny skiff,
with its graceful white sail glittering in the sun, turned the base of
the opposite hill, evidently making to the point whence we embarked. I
have since learned that it contained a messenger to us, from a gentleman
bearing our name, and distantly connected with us, proprietor of some
large iron-works on the shore opposite West Point. However, our kinsman
was too late, and we were already losing sight of West Point, when his
boat reached the shore. Our progress homeward was, if any thing, more
enchanting than our coming out had been, except for leaving all this
loveliness. The sun went down in splendour, leaving the world robed in
glorious beauty. The sky was one glowing geranium curtain, into which
the dark hills rose like shadow-land, stretching beyond, and still
beyond, till they grew like hazy outlines through a dazzling mist of
gold. The glory faded; and a soft violet colour spread downwards to the
horizon, where a faint range of clouds lay floating like scattered rose
leaves. As the day fell, the volumes of smoke from our steam-boat
chimneys became streams of fiery sparks, which glittered over the water
with a strange unearthly effect. I sat on deck watching the world grow
dark, till my father, afraid of the night air, bade me go down; and
there, in spite of the chattering of a score of women, and the squalling
of half as many children, I slept profoundly till we reached New York,
at a quarter to seven.
_Saturday, 17th._
After breakfast, wrote journal: while doing so, Mr. ---- called to know
if I held my mind in spite of the grey look of the morning. A wan
sunbeam just then lighted on the earth, and I said I would go; for I
thought by about twelve it probably would clear.
* * * * *
They called for me in the carriage at eleven; and afterwards we mounted
our steeds in Warren Street to escape the crowd in Broadway. We rode
down to the ferry. The creature, _on top_ of which I sat, was the real
_potatuppy_ butcher's horse. However, it did not shake me, or pull my
arms much, so I was content. As to a horse properly broken, either for
man or woman, I have done looking for it in this land. We went into the
steam-boat on our horses. The mist lay thick over the river; but the
opposite shores had that grey distinctness of colour and outline that
invariably foretells rain in England. The wind blew bitterly keen and
cold.
* * * * *
Our riding party was Mr. ----, whom I like; Mrs. ----, whom I also like,
in spite of her outlandish riding-habiliments, a brother of his,
* * * * *
and a young ---- in white hair and spectacles. The carriage held old Mr.
----, Miss ----, the youngest daughter, and that beautiful youngest boy
of theirs, who is so like his handsome sister; also sundry baskets of
cake, and bottles of champagne. After landing, we set off at a brisk
canter to Weehawk. None of these people know how to ride: they just go
whatever pace their horse likes, sitting as backward as they can in the
saddle, and tugging at the reins as hard as ever they can, to the
infinite detriment of their own hands and their horses' mouths. When we
had reached the height, we dismounted and walked through the woods that
crown the cliffs, which here rise to an elevation of some hundred feet
above the river. Our path lay through tangled brakes, where the withered
trees and fallen red leaves, the bright cedar bushes, and pale slabs of
granite, formed a fine and harmonious contrast of colouring; the whole
blending beautifully together under the grey light, that made it look
like one of Ruysdael's pictures. Our walk terminated at a little rocky
promontory, called the Devil's Pulpit, where, as legends say, Satan was
wont to preach, loud enough to drown the sound of the Sabbath bells in
New York. The Hudson, far below, lay leaden and sullen; the woods along
the shores looked withered and wintry; a thick curtain of vapour
shrouded all the distance: the effect of the whole was very sad and
beautiful; and had I been by myself I should have enjoyed it very much.
But I was in company, and, moreover, in company with two punsters, who
uttered their atrocities without remorse in the midst of all that was
most striking and melancholy in nature. When we mounted our horses
again, Mrs. ---- complained that hers pulled her wrists most dreadfully;
and, as they seemed none of the strongest, I exchanged steeds with her.
The lady proprietress of the grounds over which we had been walking and
riding invited us into the house, but, being mounted, I declined, and we
set off for the pavilion. Just as we arrived there, it began to rain.
Mercy on me and Mrs. ----! how our arms will ach to-morrow! This worthy
animal of hers had a mouth a little worse than a donkey's. Arrived at
the pavilion, we dismounted, and swallowed sundry champagnes and lumps
of plum cake, which were singularly refreshing. We set off again, and
presently it began to pelt with rain. We reached and crossed the ferry
without gelling very wet. Arranged to ride on Wednesday, if fine, and so
home. Upon the whole, rather satisfied than otherwise with my
expedition. Dressed for dinner at once; went on with journal; Colonel
---- called, and sat some time. After dinner, embroidered till eight:
teaed:--my father went over to the theatre: I practised for two hours.
_Sunday, 18th._
The muscles of my arms (for I have such unlady-like things) stand out
like lumps of stone, with the fine exercise they had yesterday. I wonder
how Mrs. ----'s shoulders and elbows feel.
* * * * *
It rained so, we hackneyed to church. This is twice Mr. ---- has not
been to church, which is really very wrong, though it leaves us the pew
comfortably to ourselves. Dr. ---- must be an excellent good man--his
sermons are every way delightful; good sense, sound doctrine, and withal
a most winning mildness and gentleness of manner. A benevolent good man,
I am sure, he must be. Came home--copied snuff-box verses for my father;
divided out my story of the Sisters into acts and scenes: began doing
the same by the English tragedy; but in the midst took a fancy to make a
story instead of a play of it--and so I will, I think. Dressed for
dinner. At about half-past five Colonel ---- and his Quaker wife came.
She is a most delightful creature, with the sweetest expression of face
imaginable. She reminded me several times of dear Mrs. ----. Her dress,
too, the rich brown watered silk, made so plainly, recalled Mrs. ---- to
me very forcibly. We had a very comfortable dinner and evening. They
went away at about half-past ten.
_Monday, 19th._
After breakfast, wrote journal. Went out shopping and returning cards;
called on Mrs. ----, and was let in. I like her; she is a nice person,
with agreeable manners. Came home at about half-past two; put out things
for the theatre; dined at three. After dinner, pottered about clothes
till time to go to the theatre. The house was very good. My
benefit--play, Much Ado about Nothing. I played very well. I am much
improved in my comedy acting. Came home in a coach--it poured with rain.
What a stupid day! The accounts of cholera in New Orleans are frightful;
they have the yellow fever there too. Poor people! what an awful
visitation!
_Tuesday, 20th._
After breakfast, wrote journal. At twelve, went and called upon Mrs.
----: the day was bright, but bitter cold, with a keen piercing wind
that half cut one in half, and was delicious. The servant denied Mrs.
----; but we had hardly turned from the door when both the ladies came
rushing after us, with nothing on their heads and necks, and thin summer
gowns on. They brought us into a room where there was a fire fit to
roast an ox. No wonder the women here are delicate and subject to cold,
and die of consumption. Here were these sitting absolutely in an oven,
in clothes fit only for the hottest days in summer, instead of wrapping
themselves up well, and trotting out, and warming their blood
wholesomely with good hard exercise. The pretty Mrs. ---- looks very
sickly, and coughs terribly. Her beauty did not strike me so much
to-day. I do not admire any body who looks as if a puff of wind would
break them in half, or a drop of water soak them through. I greatly
prefer her sister's looks, who certainly is not pretty, but tall and
straight, and healthy-looking, and springy as a young thing ought to be.
Was introduced to a most enchanting young Newfoundland dog, whom I
greatly coveted. Settled to ride to-morrow, if fine. Called at ----'s,
also at a furrier's about cap, and came home. Found ---- and ---- with
my father. What a very bad expression of face the former has; sneering
and false--terrible! I looked at ---- with much respect. I like his
spirit, as it shines through his works, greatly. He was a pale
sickly-looking man, without any thing at all remarkable in the
expression of his countenance. While they were here, Mr. ---- called to
settle about to-morrow. He is a nice person, sensible and civil, and
civil in the right way. Arrangements were made for dear ----'s going,
which I rejoiced in greatly. I do not like at all leaving her behind.
When the folks were gone, put out things for the theatre. While doing
so, Mr. ---- and Mr. and Mrs. ---- called. Great discoursing about
horses and horsemanship. Dined at three. After dinner, put fur upon my
habit. At half-past five, went to the theatre. House very good; play,
Hunchback. By the by, Colonel ---- called to-day, to entreat me to go
and see his "Honour, the Recorder," who had sent me tickets of admission
to the town-hall, to see ---- receive the freedom of the city. I could
not go, because of our horseback expedition--this by the way. I played
so-soish. ---- was at the play; and at the end, somebody in the house
exclaimed, "Three cheers for ----!" whereupon a mingled chorus of
applause and hisses arose. The Vice-president looked rather silly, and
acknowledged neither the one nor the other. How well I remember the Duke
of ---- coming to the orchestra to see this play, the night before it
was expected the Whigs would go out. I dare say he knew little enough
what the Hunchback was about. I do not think the people noticed him,
however; so the feeling of the pulse must have been unsatisfactory. Mr.
---- said to Modus to-night in the play, speaking of me, "a change of
linen will suffice for her." How absurd! we were all dying on the stage.
Came home; supped:--looked at silks; chose a lovely rose-coloured one to
line my Portia dress; with which good deed my day ended.
_Wednesday, 21st._
Looked at the sun, and, satisfied with his promise, went to bed again,
and slept till half-past eight. After breakfast, wrote to his honour,
the Recorder, an humble apology in true Old Bailey style. Wrote journal,
and began practising. Mrs. ---- called before I was out of my bed to
tell us that the ----'s were not going, but that either her husband or
her brother-in-law would be too glad to go in the gig with D----. This,
however, the latter refused, not choosing, as she said, to make any
young man do the penance of keeping her company on a party of pleasure.
Dear good old D----! I was vexed and provoked; but it could not be
helped. At eleven, ---- came for me. I found Mrs. ---- in the carriage
waiting for me. We adjourned to Warren Street, where were assembled all
the party. While we waited for our horses, Neptune, the beautiful
Newfoundland, was admitted, and amused himself by prancing over tables,
and chairs, and sofas, to his own infinite delight, and the visible
benefit of the furniture. Our steeds having arrived, we mounted and
began to progress. Myself, and Mrs. ----, her husband, his brother,
----, and papa ----, Dr. ----, Mrs. ----'s brother, and Mr. ----,
nephew, I believe, of the Irish patriot, were the equestrians of the
party. After, followed Mr. ---- and Mrs. ----, all be-coated and
be-furred, in the stanhope. After, followed the ammunition-waggon,
containing a negro servant, Neptune, and sundry baskets of champagne,
cake, and cherry bounce. Away we rushed down Broadway, to the infinite
edification of its gaping multitudes. Mr. ---- had gotten me an
enchanting horse that trotted like an angel. So, in spite of Major
----'s awful denunciation of "disgusting," I had a delicious hard trot
all through the streets, rising in my saddle like a lady, or rather, a
gentleman. My habit seemed to excite considerable admiration and
approbation, and indeed it was _great_. Crossed the Brooklyn ferry in
the steam-boat, and safely landed on the opposite side. The whole army
defiled; the stanhope taking the van, the horses forming the main body,
and the provisions bringing up the rear. Our party separated constantly,
as we progressed, into various groups, but I remained chiefly with Dr.
----, Mr. ----, and old Mr. ----. By the by, those ----s are a charming
family; for Mrs. ---- sits straight in her saddle, and the Doctor
settled, when we started, that when he had _despatched his patients_, he
would call for D---- in the gig, and come down to meet us at the fort.
Our ride thither was extremely agreeable: the day was clear, cold, and
grey; a delightful day for riding. I trotted to my heart's content; and
kept my blood warm, and my spirits like champagne, till we reached the
fort, when, at sight of the Narrows, and the Sandy Hook lighthouse, they
sank deep, deep down.
* * * * *
* * * * *
The sea lay grey and still, without a wave or scarce a ripple. A
thousand light skiffs, of various shapes, lay upon the leaden waters.
The sky was a fine heap of heavy purple clouds, from behind which the
sun shot down his rays, which threw a melancholy wan lustre on the sea
beneath them. 'Twas a sad and beautiful scene. The colouring of the
whole was gloomily harmonious; and the dark shores and grey expanse of
water blended solemnly with the violet-coloured curtain of the heavens.
We went over the fort. 'Tis a fortification of no great size, or, I
should think, strength; but its position, which commands the narrow
entrance to the bay of New York, effectually checks the pass, and guards
the watery defile that leads to the city of Mammon. We looked at the
guns and powder-magazine, walked round the walls, and peeped into the
officers' quarters, and then descended to seek where we might eat and be
satisfied. Mrs. ---- is a very nice creature: she looks the picture of
good temper--never stands still a minute; and as we rode along to-day,
when, fearing she might be cold, I asked her how she found herself, she
replied, with perfect innocence and sincerity, "Oh, delightful!" which
made us all scream. We knocked up the quarters of an old woman who kept
a cottage, not exactly young love's humble shed, but good enough for our
purpose. We got sundry logs of wood, and made a blazing fire; moreover,
the baskets were opened, and presently we presented the interesting
spectacle of a dozen people each with a lump of cake in one hand, and a
champagne glass in the other. Mr. ---- and Mrs. ---- stuck to the cherry
bounce, and, as we afterwards heard, drove home accordingly. Having
discussed, we remounted, and set forwards home by another road; a very
lovely one, all along the river side. Ere we had progressed long, we met
D---- and Dr. ---- in the gig. The nice good man had kept his word, and
gone to fetch her. They had met Mr. ----'s equipage going cherry-bounce
pace, it seems, two miles ahead of us. The men here are never happy
unless they are going full speed. 'Tis no wonder their horses are good
for nothing: they would ruin any horses that were good for any
thing.[61] Such unskilful horsemanship I never saw: going full tear;
crossing one another in every direction; knocking up against one
another; splashing through puddles because they have no hand over their
horses, and either overshooting their point, or being half thrown at
every turn of the road, for the same reason. Came home full speed, and
arrived at half-past four, having ridden, I should think, nearly twenty
miles. Found Mrs. ---- at home. They pressed me very much to stay dinner
with them; but my father expected me, and I would not. That worthy
youth, ----, insisted upon my accepting his beautiful large dog,
Neptune, which I did conditionally, in case Mr. ---- should fail me,
which I think a very improbable case indeed. They ordered the carriage,
and Mr. ---- persisted in seeing me home in it, much to my annoyance, as
'twas a very useless ceremony indeed. Did not dishabit, but dined _en
amazone_.
* * * * *
Gave D---- her muff and tippet, which are exceedingly magnificent. After
dinner, pottered about, and dressed at once. Played on the piano till
nine, when we adjourned to ----'s. A complete "small party, my dear."
Dr. ---- was there, whom I was glad to see; also Mrs. ----; also Mr. and
Miss ----; also that Mrs. ----, who is utter horror and perturbation of
spirit to me; also ----; also ----; all our riding party, and a world
besides. After a little time, dancing was proposed; and I stood up to
waltz with Mr. ----, who observed that Dr. ---- was gone, as he never
chose to be present while waltzing was going on. I felt shocked to death
that unconsciously I should have been instrumental in driving him away,
and much surprised that those who knew his disapprobation of waltzing
should have proposed it. However, he was gone, and did not return.
Therefore I waltzed myself out of my conscientious remorse. Sang them
Fanny Gray, and Ye Mariners of Spain. Danced sundry quadrilles; and,
finally, what they called a Kentucky reel,--which is nothing more than
Sir Roger de Coverley turned Backwoodsman--and afterwards a "foursome
reel." Played magic music; and, finally, at one o'clock, came home,
having danced myself fairly off my legs.
_Thursday, 22d._
It poured with rain all day. Dr. ---- called, and gave me a sermon about
waltzing. As it was perfectly good sense, to which I could reply
nothing whatever in the shape of objection, I promised him never to
waltz again, except with a woman, or my brother.
* * * * *
After all, 'tis not fitting that a man should put his arm round one's
waist, whether one belongs to any one but one's self or not. 'Tis much
against what I have always thought most sacred,--the dignity of a woman
in her own eyes and those of others. I like Dr. ---- most exceedingly.
He spoke every way to my feelings of what was right, to-day. After
saying that he felt convinced, from conversations which he had heard
amongst men, that waltzing was immoral in its tendency, he added, "I am
married, and have been in love, and cannot imagine any thing more
destructive of the deep and devoted respect which love is calculated to
excite in every honourable man's heart, not only for the individual
object of his affections, but for her whole sex, than to see any and
every impertinent coxcomb in a ball-room come up to her, and, without
remorse or hesitation, clasp her waist, imprison her hand, and
absolutely whirl her round in his arms." So spake the Doctor; and my
sense of propriety and conviction of right bore testimony to the truth
of his saying. So, farewell, sweet German waltz!--next to hock, the most
intoxicating growth of the Rheinland. I shall never keep time to your
pleasant measure again!--no matter; after all, any thing is better than
to be lightly spoken of, and to deserve such mention. Mr. ---- called,
and sat some time with me. He is grown monstrously fat, and looks
perfectly radiant. He brought with him a good-looking staring man of the
name of ----. We dined at three. After dinner, received a pretty
anonymous nosegay, with sundry very flattering doggrel. The play was the
Stranger. It poured cats and dogs, and the streets were all grey
pudding. I did not expect to see six people in the house; instead of
which 'twas crowded: a satisfactory proof of our attraction.
_Friday, 23d._
At eleven, went to rehearsal--Isabella. I have forgotten all about it.
They all read their parts; came home; began to practise. The two Mrs.
---- called. I like them mainly, Mrs. ---- particularly. While they were
here, Mr. ---- and a man called; they stayed but a minute. By and by, in
walked Mr. and Mrs. ----; whereupon the ---- departed.
* * * * *
* * * * *
While they were here, received from ---- the beautiful annual he has
bought for me, which is, indeed, most beautiful; and with it, literally
a copy of verses, which are _not so bad neither_--only think of that!!!
The engravings are from things of Stanfield's, taken on the Rhine; and
made my heart ach to be once more in Europe, in the old land where fairy
tales are told; in the old feudal world, where every rock, and valley,
and stream, are haunted with imaginings wild and beautiful: the hallowed
ground of legend history; the dream-land of fancy and of poetry. Put out
things for the theatre: dined at three. Colonel ---- called: he brought
news of the arrival of a Liverpool packet, and prophesied letters to me.
Went to the theatre. Play, Hunchback--house very fine again. Just as I
was dressing for the second act, three letters were brought into my
room.
* * * * *
* * * * *
* * * * *
I was so much overset by them, that with the strange faculty I have of
pouring one feeling into another, I cried so bitterly in the parting
scene with Clifford, that I could scarcely utter the words of my part.
* * * * *
* * * * *
_Saturday, 24th._
Our riding expedition having been put off, the day was beautifully
bright and clear. Sat stitching and pottering an infinity. My feet got
so perished that I didn't know what to do. Wrote journal; practised for
an hour; Mr. ---- called. When he was gone, went out with my father.
Called at ----'s to order home my gown for dinner-time. Left a card at
Mrs. ----'s, and then marched down to the tailor's to upbraid him about
my waistcoat, which is infamously ill made.[62] Coming home, met that
very odious Mr. ----, who is the perfection of genteel vulgarity. He
walked home with us. Dressed for dinner. Mme. ---- did not send my gown
home in time: abominable sempstress! so put on my blue, and looked
rather dowdy. Found sundry that we knew: Colonel ----; Mr. ----; my
favourite aversion, Mr. ----; that signal fool, Mr. ----; Miss ----, who
looked like a hair-dresser's wax block; a Miss ----, with lovely feet,
and a terrified Bacchante-looking head, _cum multis aliis_. I sat by one
Mr. ----, who talked without end, and cleverly enough: indeed, it was
rather clever to talk so wonderfully fast and much. After dinner, the
party became much larger: Dr. ----, Mr. ----, the ---- (all but ----),
that entire self-satisfaction, Mr. ----, Mr. ----, and the knight of the
rueful countenance; three singing men, ycleped ----; and a shoal
besides. One of the Mr. ---- and Miss ---- sang the duet in the Didone,
that dear ---- and ---- used to sing so lovelily. They both had good
voices, but the style is but so-soish. Presently, three men sang that
sea glee that I remember Lord and Lady ---- teaching me at ----. What a
strange faculty of our nature this is, this leading back of our minds to
the past, through the agency of our senses, acted upon by present
influences, the renewing life, the magical summoning up of dead time
from its grave, with the very place and circumstance it wore. Wondrous
riddle! what--what are we, that are so curiously made? By and by dancing
was proposed, and I was much entreated and implored to change my
determination about waltzing; but I was inexorable, and waltzed only
with the ladies, who one and all dance extremely well. Mrs. ---- looked
lovely to-night. Dr. ---- says very true, she has a thorough-bred look,
which reminds me a little of our noble English ladies. He says she is
like Lady ----. I think she is prettier: she certainly looks like a gem.
We danced a Kentucky reel, and sundry quadrilles. That long ens, Mr.
----, was tipsy, and went slithering about in a way to kill one; and Mr.
---- was sitting slyly in the corner, pretending to talk to D----, but
in fact dying with laughter at poor ----, who meandered about the room,
to the infinite dismay and confusion of the whole dance. Vain were the
vigorous exertions of his partner, who pulled him this way and that, and
pushed him hither and thither, to all which the unresisting creature
submitted incorrigibly. Remained dancing till half-past twelve, in fact
Sunday morning, and then came home. They made me sing, which I did
abominably. On my return home, found my black satin gown, every atom of
which will have to be unpicked--pleasant! the tradespeople here are
really terrible; they can do nothing, and will take no pains to do any
thing: 'tis a handsome gown spoilt.[63]
_Sunday, 25th._
My dear father's birth-day! also, by the by, a grand occasion here--the
anniversary of the evacuation of the island by the British troops, which
circumstance the worthy burghers have celebrated ever since with due
devotion and thankfulness. Went to church: Dr. ---- did not preach,
which was a disappointment to me. The music was exquisite; and there was
a beautiful graceful willow branch, with its long delicate fibres and
golden leaves, waving against the blue sky and the church window, that
seemed to me like a magical branch in a fairy tale. It struck me as
strange to-day, as I looked from the crowded gloomy church to the bright
unbounded sky, to think that we call the one the house of God; to be
sure, we have other authority for calling the blue heavens his throne;
and oh, how glorious they did look! The day was bright, but bitter cold.
Coming out of church, saw all our last night's party. On my return home
found a perfect levee; Dr. ----, Mr. ----, Mr. ----, Mr. ----, Mr. ----,
a whole regiment. When they were all gone, wrote journal: having
finished that and my lunch, set out with my father to _fetch a walk_;
which we did to the tune of near six miles, through all the outskirts of
the town, an exceedingly low-life ramble indeed--during which we came
across a man who was preaching in the street. He had not a very large
assembly round him, and we stood in the crowd to hear him. By his own
account, he had been imprisoned before for a similar proceeding; and he
was denouncing, most vehemently, signal judgments on the blind and
wicked corporation who had so stopped the work of righteousness. The
man's face was a very fine one, remarkably intelligent and handsome: he
was cleanly and well dressed, and had altogether a respectable
appearance. When we came home, it was past four. Dressed for dinner. My
father dined with Mr. ----; so D---- and I had a _tête-à-tête_ dinner.
After which, played on the piano for some time; after which, began
letter to H----; after which, wrote journal.
* * * * *
* * * * *
_Monday, 26th._
Yesterday was evacuation day; but as yesterday was the Lord's day also,
the American militia army postponed their yearly exhibition, and,
instead of rushing about the streets in token of their thankfulness at
the departure of the British, they quietly went to church, and praised
God for that same. To-day, however, we have had firing of pop-guns,
waving of star-spangled banners (some of them rather the worse for
wear), infantry marching through the streets, cavalry (oh, Lord, what
delicious objects they were!) and artillery prancing along them, to the
infinite ecstasy and peril of a dense mob. Went to rehearsal at
half-past ten. Was detained full ten minutes on the way thither, by the
defiling of troops, who were progressing down Broadway. After rehearsal,
came home--put out things for the theatre. Mr. ---- called: while he was
here, spent a delightful half hour at the window, which, overlooking the
Park, commanded a full view of the magnanimous military marshalled
there. O, pomp and circumstance of glorious war! They were certainly not
quite so bad as Falstaff's men, of ragged memory; for, for aught I know
to the contrary, they perhaps _all_ of them had shirts to their backs.
But some had gloves, and some had none; some carried their guns one way,
and some another; some had caps of one fashion, and some of another;
some had no caps at all, but "shocking bad hats," with feathers in
them.[64] The infantry were, however, comparatively respectable troops.
They did not march many degrees out of the straight line, or stoop _too
much_, or turn their heads round _too often_. Mr. ---- remarked, that
militia were seldom more steady and orderly in their appearance. But the
cava'ry! oh, the cavalry! what gems without price they were! Apparently
extremely frightened at the shambling _tituppy_ chargers upon whose
backs they clung, straggling in all directions, putting the admiring
crowd in fear of their lives, and proving beyond a doubt how formidable
they must appear to the enemy, when, with the most peaceable intentions
in the world, they thus jeopardied the safety of their enthusiastic
fellow citizens. Bold would have been the man who did not edge backwards
into the crowd, as a flock of these worthies a-horseback came down the
street--some trotting, some galloping, some racking, some ambling; each
and all "witching the world with wondrous horsemanship." If any thing
ever might be properly called wondrous, they, their riders and
accoutrements, deserve the title. Some wore boots, and some wore shoes,
and one independent hero had got on grey stockings and _slippers_! Some
had bright yellow feathers, and some red and black feathers! I
remembered, particularly, a doctor, in a black suit, Hessian boots, a
cocked hat, and bright yellow gauntlets; another fellow was dressed in
the costume of one of the Der Freyschutz's corps: it looked for all the
world like a _fancy_ parade. The officers fulfilled completely my idea
of Macheath's company of gentlemen of the road; only, I strongly suspect
the latter would have been heartily ashamed of the unhappy hacks the
evacuation heroes had gotten up upon. The parade terminated with a full
half hour's _feu de joie_.[65]
* * * * *
* * * * *
The bands of these worthies were worthy of them; half a dozen fifers
and drummers playing old English jig tunes. In spite of the folly and
injustice of such a comparison, I could not keep out of my head the last
soldiers I had seen, those fine tall fellows, the grenadier guards, that
used to delight us of a Sunday morning in St. James's Park, and their
exquisite band, and dandy-looking officers. Those _looked_ like
soldiers, whatever they may fight like; and allowing these excellent
good folks to be very lions, look you, I can only say their appearance
approached the sublime, by as near as the French critic assures us the
extreme of the ridiculous does. Dined at three; ---- and ---- called
after dinner. My father went with Mr. ---- to Tammany Hall,[66] where
there was a grand democratic dinner, in honour of the triumph of the
Jackson party, the mob men here. I sat writing to ---- till time to go
to the theatre. The play was Isabella; the house crammed; a regular
holiday audience--shrieking, shouting, laughing, and rowing, like one of
our own Christmas audiences. I acted like a wretch. My dresses looked
very handsome, particularly my marriage dress; but my muslin bed-gown
was so long that, I set my feet through it the very first thing; and
those _animaux bêtes_, who dragged me off, tore a beautiful point lace
veil I had on to tatters, a thing that cost three guineas, if a
farthing! My father received a most amusing letter this morning from
Lord ----, asking us to come over to Jamaica and act, offering us
quarters in his house, and plenty of volunteer actors (did he include
himself, I wonder?) to make up a company, if we will come. I should like
it very well: to pass the winter in that nice warm climate would be
delightful, and I dare say we should find our stay there amusing and
agreeable enough. I wish we could do it.
_Tuesday, 27th._
After breakfast, Colonel ---- called. Put out things for to-night. At
half-past twelve, went out with my father and Colonel ----. Called upon
his honour, the Recorder, but he was in court, and not to be seen.
Walked down to the Battery. The day was most lovely, like an early day
in June in England: my merino gown was intolerable, and I was obliged to
take a parasol with me, the sun was so powerful. The Battery was, as
usual, totally deserted, though the sky, and shores, and beautiful
bright bay, were smiling in perfect loveliness. A delicious fresh breeze
came wandering over the wide estuary; and graceful boats, with their
full sails glittering in the sun, glided to and fro, swift and strong,
over the smooth waters, like summer clouds across the blue heavens--as
silently, as rapidly, as tracklessly.[67]
* * * * *
* * * * *
Came home at half-past one. Found a card from Mrs. ----. I'm sorry I
didn't see her. ---- called, with one Mr. ----, kinsman to the
authoress.
* * * * *
* * * * *
* * * * *
While they were here, Mrs. ---- called to settle about to-morrow's ride.
Mr. and Mrs. ---- arriving, the rest departed. We dined at three. After
dinner, came to my own room; wrote journal; went on with letter to ----.
At half-past five, went to the theatre. Play, the Gamester; my father's
benefit; the house was very good. I played pretty well. Mr. ----
thoroughly bothered me, by standing six yards behind me: what a complete
stroller's trick that is. So we are to act on Saturday. If I can go to
the opera, all the same, I sha'n't mind so much; but I will be in most
horrible dudgeon if it prevents that, for I want to hear this new prima
donna. Mr. ---- was behind the scenes, and ---- _wrapt_, in his usual
seat: he's a delightful bit of audience. Received a bill of the intended
performances for Thursday, Mr. ----'s benefit; and such another farce as
the whole thing is I never heard of; as Mr. ---- says, "the benefit of
humbug," indeed.
* * * * *
* * * * *
Came home. While we were at supper, my father showed me a note he had
received from ----, which, to use a most admirable vulgarism, struck me
all of a heap. A sort of threatening letter, desiring him, as he valued
his interest, to come forward and offer to act Charles the Second for
the said Mr. ----'s benefit, having already agreed to act in one piece,
for said Mr. ----'s benefit. "O monstrous! monstrous! most unnatural!"
What a vulgar wretch the man must be!
_Wednesday, 28th._
Mary ----'s wedding day! Poor lassie! I looked at the bright morning sun
with pleasure for her sake. After breakfast, sat reading the poems of
Willis, a young man, whose works, young as they evidently are, would
have won him some consideration in any but such a thorough work-day
world as this. I cried a good deal over some of this man's verses. I
thought some of them beautiful; and 'tis the property of beauty to stir
the wells of my soul sadly, rather than cast sunshine over them. I think
all things are sad. 'Tis sad to hear sweet music; 'tis sad to read fine
poetry; 'tis sad to look upon the beautiful face of a fair woman; 'tis
sad to behold the unclouded glory of a summer's sky. There is a deep and
lingering tone in the harmony of all beauty that resounds in our souls
with too full and solemn a vibration for pleasure alone. In fact,
_intensity_, even of joy and delight, is in itself serious; 'tis
impossible to be fulfilled with emotion of any sort, and not feel as
though we were within the shadow of a cloud.[68] I remember when first I
recited Juliet to my mother, she said I spoke the balcony scene almost
sadly. Was not such deep, deep love too strong, too passionate, too
pervading, to be uttered with the light laughing voice of pleasure? Was
not that love, even in its fulness of joy, sad--awful? However, perhaps,
I do but see through my own medium, and fancy it the universal one. My
eyes are dark, and most things look darkly through them. At about twelve
o'clock Mrs. ---- called for me; and, escorted by her husband and Mr.
----, we rode forth to visit the island. We went to a pretty cottage
belonging to Mr. ----'s father-in-law, Dr. ----. The day was still and
grey--a pleasant day; there was no sunshine, but neither were there any
dark shadows. My horse had been ill ridden by somebody or another, and
was mighty disagreeable. Our ride was pleasant enough: there was not
much variety in the country we passed through. Masses of granite and
greenish basalt, wild underwood, and vivid bright-looking cedar bushes.
The Hudson lay leaden and sullen under the wings of the restless wind.
We stood to hear the delicious music of the water plashing against the
rocky shore, which is the pleasantest sound in all the world. We then
rode to a place ycleped Hell-gate,[69] from a dangerous current in the
East river, where ships have been lost--and home through the mellow
sunlight of a warm autumnal afternoon. Came in at a little past four.
Devoured sundry puddings and pies; put out clothes for the evening;
dined at five. My father dined at ----'s: I've an especial fancy for
that man. After dinner, sat making blonde tippet, and strumming on the
piano till eight. Drank tea, dressed, and off to Mrs. ----'s "small
party, my dear."
* * * * *
* * * * *
* * * * *
The people here have no conscience about the questions they ask, and, as
I have one in answering, and always give them "the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth," it follows that nothing can be more
disagreeable than their queries, except my replies. Mr. ---- was there;
I like him: he has something in him, and is not vulgar or impertinent.
Was introduced to a very handsome French creole woman,[70] whom I liked:
she reminded me of my mother, and her son bore a striking resemblance to
dear ----. We stood up to dance a couple of quadrilles; but as they had
not one distinct idea of what the figures were, the whole was a mess of
running about, explaining, jostling, and awkward blundering.[71] I took
greatly to the governess of the family, a German woman, with a right
German face, a nice person, with quiet simple manners. The women's
voices here distract me; so loud, so rapid, and with such a twang! What
a pity! for they are, almost without an exception, lovely looking
creatures, with an air of refinement in their appearance, which would be
very attractive, but for their style of dress, and those said tremendous
shrill loud voices.[72] Came home at twelve o'clock. My favourite
aversion, Mrs. ----, was there.
_Thursday, 29th._