Growing
[Illustration] "DINNER, my good woman! It's very easy to tell you what
we should like for dinner. A good seaside one, of course! We'll begin
with scalloped oysters, some broiled mackerel, and boiled cod, with
shrimp sauce, lobster salad—"
"Some starfish jelly, and limpet tart, and crab cream to follow—"
"And seaweed sandwiches and salt-water ices to finish up with!"
Our landlady's face was a picture, as these volleys were fired at her;
and Fräulein turned upon us with a sharp rebuke.
"Go down to the beach, and let me not see you till dinner! You are an
overwhelming torrent when it is business that I wish to talk!"
It was a fortnight later; Fräulein had returned to us at the end of a
week, and, acting upon a letter she had received from our parents, had
brought us all down to a seaside village on the sunny south coast.
It was the beginning of March, early in the year for lodgers; but
we liked the emptiness of the place, and were enjoying ourselves
immensely. I did not find that my spiritual experiences were making
my life less happy. Of course the boys teased me unmercifully. Every
morning they would ask, "Still pious, Li? Isn't the fit over?"
But as they always would tease about something, I did not mind; and
found that I could laugh and joke with them the same as usual. Miss
Moffat helped me a great deal; and I was beginning to like reading my
Bible. Not that I could yet spend a long time over it without becoming
weary; but Miss Moffat told me I must not expect to walk before I could
crawl, and she advised me to read a short portion at a time, thinking
over it, and praying to be taught.
It was a cheering thought to me that God liked to see me happy. I never
could keep grave for long, and my heart being at rest about the future,
and at peace about my sins, made a wonderful difference to me.
This morning, when we had scattered on the beach, and Thunder and I had
taken refuge under a breakwater for a few minutes' rest, he turned to
me and said, "I don't believe you're the genuine article, Li! It's a
sham and delusion!"
"What is?"
[Illustration: "I DON'T BELIEVE YOU'RE THE GENUINE ARTICLE, LI!
IT'S A SHAM AND DELUSION!"]
"Your Christianity—or conversion—as you call it."
"Why do you think so?"
"Oh, because it hasn't changed you!"
"I hope it has," I said soberly.
"Well, you're just as cheeky as you always were; it hasn't lengthened
your face, or choked the fun out of you."
"I hope it never will; but it has made a lot of difference to me
inside. I'm not afraid of God any more. I feel I belong to Him, and am
getting to love Him. I think it's a very jolly thing to be a Christian,
and I wish you would be one too."
Thunder gave a short laugh. "It's well enough for girls; but if you
were at a public school, as we are, you'd know a fellow couldn't be
religious. There are a few who try it on, but they're in their own set,
and are too slow for words!"
"Well," said I quickly, "it's their own stupidity if it makes them
slow; it isn't religion!"
We were interrupted here by the breathless arrival of Doodle-doo and
Taters.
"Hi! You two, come on! We're going out for a sail!"
I was on my feet instantly, and down at the water's edge the next
minute, where Pat was holding a parley with the boatman, whose smart
little craft lay by.
"Now, look here, my good fellow," Pat was saying, "I wasn't born
yesterday, and there won't be room for you. We either have the boat to
ourselves, or we chuck up the sail altogether! Take your choice!"
"I say!" I said aside to Honey. "The boys aren't going to take us out
after what Fräulein said?"
"Oh, bother Fräulein," said Honey: "she's such an old fuss! Pat has
managed a sailing-boat before this."
[Illustration: "I'M NOT COMING," I SAID, DRAWING BACK.]
I was silent. It was a bright, sunny morning, and I longed to go. Yet
only yesterday Fräulein had positively forbidden us girls to go in a
sailing-boat without a proper boatman; and though I had not a particle
of fear myself, my conscience was becoming more tender, and I felt we
ought not to disobey her. Pat, meanwhile, had overruled the boatman's
objections, and was marshalling us carefully into the boat.
"I'm not coming," I said, drawing back. "You know we've been forbidden;
and we could go for a row just as easy; Fräulein doesn't mind that."
"Don't be a little fool!" was his quick rejoinder. "Old Fräu will have
forgotten she gave such an order when she sees us back safe and sound!
What has made you so unusually squeamish?"
"It's her pious fit!" cried Doodle-doo. "Let the little dear alone!
She's going to be a naughty girl no more!"
"Come on; don't make an ass of yourself!" said Thunder, tugging hold
of my arm as he spoke. "Weren't you saying just now that your religion
wouldn't turn you into a molly-coddle?"
"Are you afraid?" laughed Taters, already taking a seat in the boat.
It was my first battle. Strangely enough, up to now nothing had
happened to put my religion to the test.
"I'm not afraid," I said slowly, looking wistfully at the boat; "but
you're right—my religion won't let me go. I must be left behind."
It seemed rather hard lines to me; but they were all so excited about
getting off that they did not waste time in persuasion.
[Illustration: IN PLAYING WITH PIXIE I FORGOT MY TROUBLE.]
Pat called out, "Go back to old Fräu, and tell her of the wickedness
of her pupils! In Sunday-school books we should all be drowned as a
punishment! You and she had better watch on the beach for our bodies to
be washed ashore!"
I watched them go with tears in my eyes. Oh, it was hard sometimes to
be good! Why were forbidden things so nice?
And then Pixie came running up to me, and in playing with him I forgot
my trouble. We built sand castles, and destroyed them; and then, tired
out, I sat down on the shingle, and Pixie threw himself upon me.
"Tell me a story, Li, 'bout one of those little ships that go away
right into the sky. Pixie would like to go out in a ship with a big
knife, and cut away all those dull old clouds that hide the blue sky."
It was nearly dinner-time when the sailing-boat returned. All were in
high spirits, laughing at me for having missed such fun.
But when we got back to our lodgings, Fräulein was very angry, and kept
Honey and Taters indoors for the rest of the afternoon.
"Oh, we're a bad lot!" said Pat, listening to Fräulein's scolding
with the greatest equanimity. "But you're going to have one saint
amongst your pupils now, who will comfort and cheer your heart! Old
Li's wicked days are over! Don't you see the difference in her face?
A kind of what-a-good-girl-am-I smirk in the corner of her mouth; a
what-a-wicked-set-I-live-amongst twist one side of her nose; and a
oh-how-frivolous-is-earth roll in the whites of her eyes!"
I got up and inspected myself in the mirror over the fireplace.
"I wish I could see a change," I said; "it's the one thing that doesn't
look religious about me; but Miss Moffat's face isn't a religious
one—that's my comfort!"