"'Tis gross feeding, sure, Mr Walpole. Now, had it been a royal
illegitimate."
He looked daggers, and took a pinch of snuff with an air. Never was a man
with more family pride, though he affects to scorn it.
What think you of this latest news of Lady Coventry? The people are not
yet weary of gazing upon the Gunnings, and stared somewhat upon her last
Sunday was se'night in the Park. Would you believe it, Kitty, that she
complained to the King, and His Majesty, not to be outdone in wisdom,
offers a guard for her ladyship's beauty. On this she ventures into the
Park, and, pretending fright, desires the assistance of the officer, who
orders twelve sergeants to march abreast before her and a sergeant and
twelve men behind her; and in this pomp did the silly little fool walk all
the evening, with more mob about her than ever, her blockhead husband on
one side and my Lord Pembroke on the other! I'm sure I can't tell you
anything to better this, so good night, dear cousin, with all affectionate
esteem.
_April_, 1769.
Great news, your la'ship. I am but just returned from a royal progress to
visit the Baron of Strawberry Hill. Strawberry was in prodigious
beauty--spring flowers, cascades, grottoes, all displayed to advantage in
a sunshine that equalled June. The company, her Gunning Grace of Hamilton,
the Duchess of Richmond, Lady Aylesbury, and your humble servant.
Says Mr Horace, leaning on his amber-top cane and surveying us, as the
three sat in the shell on the terrace and I stood by:--
"Strawberry Hill is grown a perfect Paphos. 'Tis the land of beauties, and
if Paris himself stood where I do, he could never adjudge the golden
apple."
He writ the same to George Montagu after, who showed the letter about
town:--
"There never was so pretty a sight as to see the three sitting. A thousand
years hence, when I begin to grow old, if that can ever be, I shall talk
of that event and tell the young people how much handsomer the women of my
time were than they are now."
There's a compliment like a fresh-plucked rose from the Lord of
Strawberry. It reads pretty, don't it, child? Horry was in vast wit--'twas
like the Northern Lights hurtling about us--made us blink! The Duchess of
Richmond pretending she could not recall her marriage-day, says Horry:--
"Record it thus, Madam. This day thousand years I was married!"
'Twas not till a week later I discovered this to be a bon mot of Madame de
Sevigne. His jewels are polished very fine, but 'tis not always in the
Strawberry mine they are dug. But to our news--What will your Honour pay
me for a penn'orth?
Tis of our beauty, Maria--ahem!--Walpole. The pretty angler has caught her
fish--a big fish, a gold fish, even a golden-hearted fish, for't is Lord
Waldegrave! A belted earl, a Knight of the Garter, no less, for the pretty
milliner's daughter. You don't believe it, Kitty? Yet you must, for't is
true, and sure. If beauty can shed a lustre over puddled blood, she has
it. Lord Villiers, chief of the macaronis, said, yesterday was a week:--
"Of all the beauties Miss Walpole reigns supreme--if one could forget the
little accident of birth! Her face, bloom, eyes, teeth, hair, and person
are all perfection's self, and Nature broke the mould when she made this
paragon, for I know none like her."
'Tis true, but 'tis so awkward with these folk that can't be presented nor
can't meet this one nor that. Still, I have had her much to my routs and
drums, where 'tis such an olla podrida that it matters not who comes. But
Lady Waldegrave may go where she will; and certainly the bridegroom has
nothing to object on the score of birth, for he comes from James the
Second by the left hand, and for aught I know a left-hand milliner is as
good these Republican days. Anyhow, 'tis so, and Horry, who would have all
think him above such thoughts, is most demurely conceited that a
Walpole--ahem!--should grace the British peerage. Remains now only
Charlotte, and I dare swear she will carry her charms to no worse market
than Maria, though not so great a Venus.
I went yesterday evening to the Bluestocking Circle at Mrs Montagu's fine
house in Hill Street. I am not become learned, Kitty, but 'twas to hear
the lionesses roar, and because I knew the Lord of Strawberry would be
there and was wishful to hear his exultations. Lord preserve us, child,
what a frightening place! We were ushered into the Chinese Room, lined
with painted Pekin paper, and noble Chinese vases, and there were all the
lions, male and female, in a circle--the Circle of the Universe. All the
great ladies of the Bluestocking Court were there: the vastly learned Mrs
Carter, Mrs Delany over from Ireland, the Swan of Lichfield Miss Anna
Seward, Mrs Chapone, and other lionesses and _cubesses_. My dear,
they sat in a half-moon, and behind them another half-moon of grave
ecclesiastics and savants, and Horry at the head of them, in brown and
gold brocade. 'Twas not sprightly, Kitty. 'Tis true these women are good
and learned, and some of them well enough in looks; but 'tis so
pretentious, so serious,--I lack a word!--so censorious of all that does
not pull a long face, that, when Mrs Montagu rose to meet us with the
shade of Shakespeare in attendance (for no lower footman would serve so
majestic a lady), I had a desire to seize her two hands and gallop round
the room with her, that I could scarce restrain. But sure she and the
company had died of it!
I expected great information from such an assemblage, but 'twas but a
snip-snap of talk--remarks passed from one to another, but served as it
were on massy plate--long words, and too many of 'em. Dull, my dear, dull!
And so 'twill always be when people aim to be clever. They do these things
better in France, where they have no fear of laughter and the women
sparkle without a visible machinery. 'Twas all standing on the mind's
tip-toe here. And when the refreshments were served I made for Horry--
On silver vases loaded rise
The biscuits' ample sacrifice,
And incense pure of fragrant tea.
But Bluestockingism is nourished on tea as wit on wine. "So, Mr Walpole,"
says I, "what is this news I hear of Miss Maria? My felicitations to the
bridegroom on the possession of so many charms."