[The scene is the boudoir of young Countess Almaviva, the Rosina of the
previous selection. She is seated alone, when her clever maid Susanna
ushers in the young page Cherubino, just banished from the house because
obnoxious to the jealous Count.]
_Susanna_--Here's our young Captain, Madame.
_Cherubino [timidly]_--The title is a sad reminder that--that I must
leave this delightful home and the godmother who has been so kind--
_Susanna--And_ so beautiful!
_Cherubino [sighing]_--Ah, yes!
_Susanna [mocking his sigh]_--Ah, yes! Just look at his hypocritical
eyelids! Madame, make him sing his new song. [_She gives it to him_.]
Come now, my beautiful bluebird, sing away.
_Countess_--Does the manuscript say who wrote this--song?
_Susanna_--The blushes of guilt betray him.
_Cherubino_--Madame, I--I--tremble so.
_Susanna_--Ta, ta, ta, ta--! Come, modest author--since you are so
commanded. Madame, I'll accompany him.
_Countess [to Susanna]_--Take my guitar.
_[Cherubino sings his ballad to the air of 'Malbrouck.' The Countess
reads the words of it from his manuscript, with an occasional glance at
him; he sometimes looks at her and sometimes lowers his eyes as he
sings. Susanna, accompanying him, watches them both, laughing.]_
_Countess [folding the song]_--Enough, my boy. Thank you. It is very
good--full of feeling--
_Susanna_--Ah! as for feeling--this is a young man who--well!
_[Cherubino tries to stop her by catching hold of her dress. Susanna
whispers to him]_--Ah, you good-for-nothing! I'm going to tell her.
_[Aloud.]_ Well--Captain! We'll amuse ourselves by seeing how you look
in one of my dresses!
_Countess_--Susanna, how _can_ you go on so?
_Susanna [going up to Cherubino and measuring herself with him]_--He's
just the right height. Off with your coat. _[She draws it off.]_
_Countess_--But what if some one should come?
_Susanna_--What if they do? We're doing no wrong. But I'll lock the
door, just the same. _[Locks it.]_ I want to see him in a woman's
head-dress!
_Countess_--Well, you'll find my little cap in my dressing-room on the
toilet table.
_[Susanna gets the cap, and then, sitting down on a stool, she makes
Cherubino kneel before her and arranges it on his hair.]_
_Susanna_--Goodness, isn't he a pretty girl? I'm jealous. Cherubino,
you're altogether _too_ pretty.
_Countess_--Undo his collar a little; that will give a more feminine
air. [_Susanna loosens his collar so as to show his neck_.] Now push up
his sleeves, so that the under ones show more. [_While Susanna rolls up
Cherubino's sleeves, the Countess notices her lost ribbon around his
wrist_.] What is that? My ribbon?
_Susanna_--Ah! I'm very glad you've seen it, for I told him I should
tell. I should certainly have taken it away from him if the Count hadn't
come just then; for I am almost as strong as he is.
_Countess [with surprise, unrolling the ribbon]_--There's blood on it!
_Cherubino_--Yes, I was tightening the curb of my horse this morning, he
curvetted and gave me a push with his head, and the bridle stud
grazed my arm.
_Countess_--I never saw a ribbon used as a bandage before.
_Susanna_--Especially a _stolen_ ribbon. What may all those things
be--the curb, the curvetting, the bridle stud? [_Glances at his arms_.]
What white arms he has! just like a woman's. Madame, they are whiter
than mine.
_Countess_--Never mind that, but run and find me some oiled silk.
[_Susanna goes out, after humorously pushing Cherubino over so that he
falls forward on his hands. He and the Countess look at each other for
some time; then she breaks the silence_.]
_Countess_--I hope you are plucky enough. Don't show yourself before the
Count again to-day. We'll tell him to hurry up your commission in
his regiment.
_Cherubino_--I already have it, Madame. Basilio brought it to me. [_He
draws the commission from his pocket and hands it to her_.]
_Countess_--Already! They haven't lost any time. [_She opens it._] Oh,
in their hurry they've forgotten to add the seal to it.
_Susanna [returning with the oiled silk]_--Seal what?
_Countess_--His commission in the regiment.
_Susanna_--Already?
_Countess_--That's what I said.
_Susanna_--And the bandage?
_Countess_--Oh, when you are getting my things, take a ribbon from one
of _your_ caps. [_Susanna goes out again_]
_Countess_--This ribbon is of my favorite color. I must tell you I was
greatly displeased at your taking it.
_Cherubino_--That one would heal me quickest.
_Countess_--And--why so?
_Cherubino_--When a ribbon--has pressed the head, and--touched the skin
of one--
_Countess [hastily]_--Very strange--then it can cure wounds? I never
heard that before. I shall certainly try it on the first wound of any
of--my maids--
_Cherubino [sadly]_--I must go away from here!
_Countess_--But not for always? [_Cherubino begins to weep._] And now
you are crying! At that prediction of Figaro?
_Cherubino_--I'm just where he said I'd be. [_Some one knocks on the
door_].
_Countess_--Who can be knocking like that?
_The Count [outside]_--Open the door!
_Countess_--Heavens! It's my husband. Where can you hide?
_The Count [outside]_--Open the door, I say.
_Countess_--There's no one here, you see.
_The Count_--But who are you talking to then?
_Countess_--To you, I suppose. [_To Cherubino._] Hide yourself,
quick--in the dressing-room!
_Cherubino_--Ah, after this morning, he'd kill me if he found me _here_.
[_He runs into the dressing-room on the right, which is also Susanna's
room; the Countess, after locking him in and taking the key, admits
the Count._]
_Count_--You don't usually lock yourself in, Madame.
_Countess_--I--I--was gossiping with Susanna. She's gone. [_Pointing to
her maid's room._]
_Count_--And you seem very much agitated, Madame.
_Countess_--Not at all, I assure you! We were talking about you. She's
just gone--as I told you.
_Count_--I must say, Madame, you and I seem to be surrounded by spiteful
people. Just as I'm starting for a ride, I'm handed a note which informs
me that a certain person whom I suppose far enough away is to visit you
this evening.
_Countess_--The bold fellow, whoever he is, will have to come here,
then; for I don't intend to leave my room to-day.
[_Something falls heavily in the dressing-room where Cherubino is._]
_Count_--Ah, Madame, something dropped just then!
_Countess_--I didn't hear anything.
_Count_--You must be very absent-minded, then. Somebody is in that room!
_Countess_--Who do you think could be there?
_Count_--Madame, that is what I'm asking _you_. I have just come in.
_Countess_--Probably it's Susanna wandering about.
_Count [pointing]_--But you just told me that she went that way.
_Countess_--This way or that--I don't know which.
_Count_--Very well, Madame, I must see her.--Come here, Susanna.
_Countess_--She cannot. Pray wait! She's but half dressed. She's trying
on things that I've given her for her wedding.
_Count_--Dressed or not, I wish to see her at once.
_Countess_--I can't prevent your doing so anywhere else, but here--
_Count_--You may say what you choose--I _will_ see her.
_Countess_--I thoroughly believe you'd like to see her in that state!
but--
_Count_--Very well, Madame. If Susanna can't come out, at least she can
talk. [_Turning toward the dressing-room._] Susanna, are you there?
Answer, I command you.
_Countess_ [_peremptorily_]--Don't answer, Susanna! I forbid you! Sir,
how can you be such a petty tyrant? Fine suspicions, indeed!
[_Susanna slips by and hides behind the Countess's bed without being
noticed either by her or by the Count._]
_Count_--They are all the easier to dispel. I can see that it would be
useless to ask you for the key, but it's easy enough to break in the
door. Here, somebody!
_Countess_--Will you really make yourself the laughing-stock of the
chateau for such a silly suspicion?
_Count_--- You are quite right. I shall simply force the door myself. I
am going for tools.
_Countess_--Sir, if your conduct were prompted by love, I'd forgive your
jealousy for the sake of the motive. But its cause is only your vanity.
_Count_--Love _or_ vanity, Madame, I mean to know who is in that room!
And to guard against any tricks, I am going to lock the door to your
maid's room. You, Madame, will kindly come with me, and without any
noise, if you please. [_He leads her away._] As for the Susanna in the
dressing-room, she will please wait a few minutes.
_Countess_ [_going out with him_]--Sir, I assure you--
_Susanna_ [_coming out from behind the bed and running to the
dressing-room_]--Cherubino! Open quick! It's Susanna. [_Cherubino
hurries out of the dressing-room._] Escape--you haven't a minute
to lose!
_Cherubino_--Where can I go?
_Susanna_--I don't know, I don't know at all! but do go somewhere!
_Cherubino_ [_running to the window, then coming back_]--The window
isn't so very high.
_Susanna_ [_frightened and holding him back_]--He'll kill himself!
_Cherubino_--Ah, Susie, I'd rather jump into a gulf than put the
Countess in danger. [_He snatches a kiss, then runs to the window,
hesitates, and finally jumps down into the garden._]
_Susanna_--Ah! [_She falls fainting into an arm-chair. Recovering
slowly, she rises, and seeing Cherubino running through the garden she
comes forward panting._] He's far away already! ... Little scamp! as
nimble as he is handsome! [_She next runs to the dressing-room._] Now,
Count Almaviva, knock as hard as you like, break down the door. Plague
take me if I answer you. [_Goes into the dressing-room and shuts
the door._]
[_Count and Countess return._]
_Count_--Now, Madame, consider well before you drive me to extremes.
_Countess_--I--I beg of you--!
_Count_ [_preparing to burst open the door_]--You can't cajole me now.
_Countess_ [_throwing herself on her knees_]--Then I will open it! Here
is the key.
_Count_--So it is _not_ Susanna?
_Countess_--No, but it's no one who should offend you.
_Count_--If it's a man I kill him! Unworthy wife! You wish to stay shut
up in your room--you shall stay in it long enough, I promise you. _Now_
I understand the note--my suspicions are justified!
_Countess_--Will you listen to me one minute?
_Count_--Who is in that room?
_Countess_--Your page.
_Count_--Cherubino! The little scoundrel!--just let me catch him! I
don't wonder you were so agitated.
_Countess_--I--I assure you we were only planning an innocent joke.
[_The Count snatches the key, and goes to the dressing-room door; the
Countess throws herself at his feet._]
_Countess_--Have mercy, Count! Spare this poor child; and although the
disorder in which you will find him--
_Count_--What, Madame? What do you mean? What disorder?
_Countess_--He was just changing his coat--his neck and arms are bare--
[_The Countess throws herself into a chair and turns away her head._]
_Count_ [_running to the dressing-room_]--Come out here, you young
villain!
_Count_ [_seeing Susanna come out of the dressing-room_]--Eh! Why, it
_is_ Susanna! [_Aside._] What, a lesson!
_Susanna_ [_mocking him_]--"I will kill him! I will kill him!" Well,
then, why don't you kill this mischievous page?
_Count_ [_to the Countess, who at the sight of Susanna shows the
greatest surprise_]--So _you_ also play astonishment, Madame?
_Countess_--Why shouldn't I?
_Count_--But perhaps she wasn't alone in there. I'll find out. [_He goes
into the dressing-room._]
_Countess_--- Susanna, I'm nearly dead.
_Count_ [_aside, as he returns_]--No one there! So this time I really am
wrong. [_To the Countess, coldly._] You excel at comedy, Madame.
_Susanna_--And what about me, sir?
_Count_--And so do you.
_Countess_--Aren't you glad you found her instead of Cherubino?
[_Meaningly._] You are generally pleased to come across her.
_Susanna_--Madame ought to have let you break in the doors, call the
servants--
_Count_--Yes, it's quite true--I'm at fault--I'm humiliated enough! But
why didn't you answer, you cruel girl, when I called you?
_Susanna_--I was dressing as well as I could--with the aid of pins, and
Madame knew why she forbade me to answer. She had her lessons.
_Count_--Why don't you help me get pardon, instead of making me out as
bad as you can?
_Countess_--Did I marry you to be eternally subjected to jealousy and
neglect? I mean to join the Ursulines, and--
_Count_--But, Rosina!
_Countess_--I am no longer the Rosina whom you loved so well. I am only
poor Countess Almaviva, deserted wife of a madly jealous husband.
_Count_--I assure you, Rosina, this man, this letter, had excited me
so--
_Countess_--I never gave my consent.
_Count_--What, you knew about it?
_Countess_--This rattlepate Figaro, without my sanction--
_Count_--He did it, eh! and Basilio pretended that a peasant brought it.
Crafty wag, ready to impose on everybody!
_Countess_--You beg pardon, but you never grant pardon. If I grant it,
it shall only be on condition of a general amnesty.
_Count_--Well, then, so be it. I agree. But I don't understand how your
sex can adapt itself to circumstances so quickly and so nicely. You were
certainly much agitated; and for that matter, you are yet.
_Countess_--Men aren't sharp enough to distinguish between honest
indignation at unjust suspicion, and the confusion of guilt.
_Count_--We men think we know something of politics, but we are only
children. Madame, the King ought to name you his ambassador to
London.--And now pray forget this unfortunate business, so
humiliating for me.
_Countess_--For us both.
_Count_--Won't you tell me again that you forgive me?
_Countess_--Have I said _that_, Susanna?
_Count_--Ah, say it now.
_Countess_--Do you deserve it, culprit?
_Count_--Yes, honestly, for my repentance.
_Countess [giving him her hand_]--How weak I am! What an example I set
you, Susanna! He'll never believe in a woman's anger.
_Susanna_--You are prisoner on parole; and you shall see we are
honorable.