but stay at home and take his pleasure, wallowing in the depth of his
riches, and giving himself up to an unmolested ease.
But those who now seem to be without trouble and men of action do,
without being called to it, thrust themselves headlong into the courts
of princes, where they must be obliged to tedious attending and
watching, that they may gain an horse, a chain, or some such blessed
favor.
In the mean time the wife, of joy bereft,
Sits tearing her fair cheeks, the house is left
Imperfect and half built;——
whilst the husband is drawn and hurried about, wandering amongst
others, allured by hopes of which he is often disappointed, suffering
disgrace and shame. But if he happens to obtain any of those things he
so eagerly desires, after he has been turned about and made dizzy with
being Fortune’s sport, he seeks a dismission, and declares those to be
happy who live obscure and safe; whilst they, in the mean time, have
the same opinion of him whom they see mounted so far above them.
2. So absolutely does Vice dispose of all men, being such a
self-sufficient worker of infelicity, that it has no need either of
instruments or servants. Other tyrants, endeavoring to render those
men miserable whom they punish, maintain executioners and tormentors,
devise searing-irons and racks, to plague the reasonless soul. But
Vice, without any preparation of engines, as soon as it enters into the
soul, torments and dejects it, filling a man with grief, lamentations,
sorrow, and repentance. For a sign that this is so, you may observe
that many being cut are silent, being scourged take it patiently, and
being racked and tormented by their lords and tyrants send not forth
the least shriek, since the soul, repressing the voice by reason,
restrains and keeps it in as with the hand; but you will scarce ever
be able to quiet anger or to silence sorrow; nor can you persuade one
that is in a fright to stand still, or one that is stung with remorse
of conscience to forbear exclaiming tearing his hair, and smiting his
thigh. So much is Vice more violent than either fire or sword.
3. Cities, when by fixing up of writings they publish their intentions
of building temples or erecting colossuses, hear the proposals of
different artists, contending about the undertaking of the work, and
bringing in their accounts and models; after which, they choose him
who will perform it best, quickest, and with the least expense. Now
imagine, that we also set forth a proclamation of a purpose to make a
wretched man or a miserable life, and that Fortune and Vice come with
differing proposals to offer their service for the performance of this
design. The one (to wit, Fortune) is provided with abundance of various
instruments and costly furniture, to render human life miserable and
unhappy. She draws after her robberies, wars, the murders of tyrants,
storms from the sea, and lightnings from the air. She mixes hemlock,
brings in swords, hires slanderers, kindles fevers, jingles shackles,
and builds up prisons round about; although most of these things are
rather from Vice than Fortune. But let us suppose them to be all
from Fortune; and let Vice, standing naked and wanting no exterior
things against man, ask Fortune how she will make a man unhappy and
faint-hearted.
Fortune, let her say, dost thou threaten poverty? Metrocles laughs at
thee, who sleeping in the winter amongst the sheep, and in the summer
in the porches of the temples, challenged the kings of the Persians,
that wintered in Babylon and passed the summer in Media, to vie with
him for happiness. Dost thou bring on servitude, bonds, and the being
sold for a slave? Diogenes contemns thee, who being exposed to sale
by pirates, cried out, Who will buy a master? Dost thou brew a cup
of poison? Didst thou not offer such a one to Socrates? And yet he
mildly and meekly, without trembling or changing either color or
countenance, drank it briskly up; whilst those who survived esteemed
him happy, as one that would not be even in the other world without a
divine portion. Moreover, as for thy fire, Decius the Roman general
prevented it, when, having caused a great fire to be made in the midst
between two armies, he sacrificed himself to Saturn, according to a
vow made for the aggrandizing of the Romans’ dominion. And amongst the
Indians, such chaste wives as are true lovers of their husbands strive
and contend with one another for the fire, and all the rest sing forth
the happiness of her who, having obtained the victory, is burnt with
her deceased husband. And of the Sages in those parts, there is not one
esteemed a holy and most blessed man, if he did not, whilst he was yet
living and in the perfect enjoyment of his health and understanding,
separate by fire his soul from his body, and purging away what was
mortal, depart pure out of the flesh.
But thou wilt reduce one from great wealth, a stately house, a
well-furnished table, and abundance of all things, to a threadbare
coat, a wallet, and begging of his daily food. These things were to
Diogenes the beginnings of happiness, and to Crates of liberty and
glory. But thou wilt, perhaps, fasten one to the cross, or impale him
on a stake. Now what cares Theodorus, whether it is above or under
ground that he putrefies? These were the happy sepultures of the
Scythians; and amongst the Hyrcanians, dogs—amongst the Bactrians,
birds—do according to the laws devour the dead bodies of those who have
made a blessed end.
4. Whom then do these things render unhappy? The unmanly and
irrational, the effeminate and unexercised, with such as retain the
foolish and frightful opinions they received in their infancy. Fortune
then does not perfectly produce infelicity, unless it has Vice to
co-operate with it. For as a thread will cut in sunder a bone that has
been steeped in ashes and vinegar, and as workmen bend and fashion
ivory as they please, after it has been softened and rendered pliable
by beer, when it is otherwise inflexible; so Fortune, coming upon that
which is already ill-affected of itself and rendered soft by Vice,
pierces into it and hollows it. And as the paroecus,—though hurtful to
no other, nor any way prejudicing those who touch it or bear it about
them,—if any one who is wounded is but brought into the place where it
is, immediately kills him, being already by his wound predisposed to
receive the defluxion; so the soul which is to be overthrown by Fortune
must have in itself some ulcer of its own, and some malady within
its flesh, that it may render those accidents which come from abroad
miserable and lamentable.
5. Is then Vice also such that it should stand in need of Fortune’s
help for the working of infelicity? By no means. She does not make the
sea swell with storms and tempests, she besets not the deserts lying
at the feet of the mountains with robbers, she pours not down storms
of hail on the fruitful fields, she raises not up Meletus, Anytus, and
Callixenus, to be calumniators, she takes not away wealth, she hinders
not any from the command of armies, that she may make men unhappy; but
she renders them rich, abounding in wealth, having great inheritances
on the earth; she bears them company at sea; she sticks close to them,
pining them with lust, inflaming them with wrath, overwhelming them
with superstitions, drawing them by their eyes....
[_The rest is wanting._]