and privately avoiding the great army (as I may call it) of those that
courted her favor, withdrew herself modestly to the enjoyment of him
only; but the women, incensed with jealousy and envying her surpassing
beauty, dragged her into the temple of Venus, and there stoned her to
death; for which reason it is called to this day the temple of Venus
the Murderess. We ourselves have known several young damsels, mere
slaves, who never would submit to the embraces of their masters, and
private men who have disdained the company of queens, when love had the
absolute dominion of their hearts. For, as in Rome, when there is a
dictator chosen, all other chief magistrates lay down their offices; so
all such persons, where love is truly predominant, are immediately free
and manumitted from all other lords and masters, and afterwards live
like servants in the temple of Love. And indeed a virtuous and generous
lady, once linked to her lawful husband by an unfeigned affection,
will sooner choose the embraces of bears and dragons, than to be the
bed-fellow of any other person whatsoever but her only spouse.
22. Of this although we might produce examples without number, yet
among you, that are now joined (as it were) in the same dance and
festival with Love,[111] it will not be from the purpose to relate the
story of Camma the Galatian. For she being a woman of transcendent
beauty, and married to Sinatus the tetrarch, Synorix, one of the
most powerful men in all Galatia, fell desperately in love with her;
and that he might enjoy her, murdered her husband Sinatus, since he
could not prevail with her either by force or persuasion, while her
husband was alive. Thereupon Camma, having no other sanctuary for the
preservation of her chastity nor consolation in her affliction, retired
to the temple of Diana, where she remained a votaress to the Goddess,
not admitting any person so much as to speak to her, though she had
many suitors that sought her in wedlock. But when Synorix boldly
presumed to put the question to her, she neither seemed to reject his
motion, neither did she upbraid him with the crime he had committed;
as if he had been induced to perpetrate so vile an act, not out of
any malicious intent to Sinatus, but merely out of a pure and ardent
love and affection to her. Thereupon he came with greater confidence,
and demanded her in marriage. She, on the other side, met him no less
cheerfully; and leading him by the hand to the altar of the Goddess,
after she had poured forth a small quantity of hydromel well tempered
with a rank poison, as it were an atonement offering to the Goddess,
she drank off the one half of that which remained herself, and gave the
other half to the Galatian. And then, so soon as she saw he had drunk
it off, she gave a loud groan, and calling her deceased husband by his
name; This day, said she, my most dear and beloved husband, I have long
expected, as having lived, deprived of thee, a desolate and comfortless
life. But now receive me joyfully; for for thy sake I have revenged
myself upon the most wicked among men, willing to have lived with thee,
and now no less rejoicing to die with him. Thus Synorix, being carried
out of the temple, soon after expired; but Camma, surviving him a day
and a night, is reported to have died with an extraordinary resolution
and cheerfulness of spirit.
23. Now in regard there have been many such, as well among us as among
the barbarians, who can bear with those that reproach Venus that, being
coupled and present with Love, she becomes a hindrance of friendship?
Whereas any sober and considerate person may rather revile the company
of male with male, and justly call it intemperance and lasciviousness.
A vile affront to Nature, no effect
Of lovely Venus or of chaste respect.
And therefore, as for those that willingly prostitute their bodies,
we look upon them to be the most wicked and flagitious persons in the
world, void of fidelity, neither endued with modesty nor any thing of
friendship; and but too truly and really, according to Sophocles,
They who ne’er had such friends as these,
Believe their blessing double;
And they that have them, pray the Gods
To rid them of the trouble.[112]
And as for those who, not being by nature lewd and wicked, were
circumvented and forced to prostitute themselves, there are no men whom
these always look upon with greater suspicion and more perfect hatred
than those that deluded and flattered them into so vile an act, and
they bitterly revenge themselves when they find an opportunity. For
Crateas killed Archelaus, who had rid him in his youth; and Pytholaus
slew Alexander of Pherae. Periander tyrant of the Ambraciotes asked
his minion, whether he were not yet with child; which the lad took so
heinously that he stabbed him.
On the other hand, among women that are married, these are but the
beginnings of friendship, as it were, a communicating and imparting
of great and sacred mysteries. The pleasure of coition is the least
thing; but the honor the submission to mutual love and fidelity which
daily germinates from this, convince us that neither the Delphians
raved, who gave the name of Arma (union) to Venus, nor that Homer was
in an error, who called the conjunction of man and woman by the name
of friendship; but that Solon was a lawgiver the most experienced in
conjugal affairs, who decreed that a husband should lie with his wife
thrice a month at least,—not for pleasure’s sake, but that, as cities
renew their treaties one with another at such a time, so the alliance
of matrimony might be renewed by this enjoyment, after the jars which
may have arisen in the mean time. But you will say, there are many men
in love with women that act amiss and furiously. But are there not more
enormities committed by those that are enamored upon boys?
So often as these eyes of mine behold
That beardless youth, that smooth and lovely boy,
I faint and fall; then wish I him to hold
Within mine arms, and so to die with joy;
And that on tomb were set, where I do lie,
An epigram, mine end to testify.
But though there is this raging passion after boys, as well as a
dotage upon women, yet can neither be said to be truly love. And
therefore it is an absurdity to aver that women are not capable even
of other virtues. For why speak of so many signals of their chastity,
prudence, justice, and fidelity, when we find others no less eminent
for their fortitude, resolution, and magnanimity; after all which,
to tax them of being naturally incapable of friendship only—not to
mention the other virtues—is a hard case. For they are naturally lovers
of their children, affectionate to their husbands; and this same
natural affection of theirs, like a fertile soil, as it is capable of
friendship, so is no less pliable to persuasion, nor less accompanied
with all the graces. But as poetry, adapting to speech the conditements
of melody, measure, and rhythm, renders the wholesome and instructive
part of it so much the more moving, and the noxious part so much the
more apt to corrupt the mind; so, Nature having adorned a woman with
the charms of beauty and persuasive language, a lascivious woman makes
use of these perfections to please herself and deceive others, but
in a modest and sober woman they work wonders towards the gaining
and fixing the good will and favor of her husband. Therefore Plato
exhorted Xenocrates, otherwise generous and brave, but very morose
in his humor, to sacrifice to the Graces; but he would have exhorted
a virtuous and modest woman to sacrifice to Love, for his propitious
favor to her marriage, in ordering it so that her behavior may prove
a sufficient charm to keep her husband at home, ... and that he may
not ramble after other women, and then be forced to exclaim, as in the
comedy,
Curse to this rage of mine, so given to roam;
What a good wife do I abuse at home!
For in wedlock to love is a far greater blessing than to be beloved;
since it preserves and keeps people from falling into many errors, nay,
all those that corrupt and ruin matrimony.
24. As for those passionate affections which at the beginning of
conjugal love raise certain fits, which are somewhat sharp and biting,
most fortunate Zeuxippus, I would not have you fear them, like an ulcer
or scarification. Though perhaps it would not be amiss, if it should
cost you some small wound to be joined to a virtuous woman, like trees
that grow together when grafted by incision upon a proper stock. The
beginning of conception itself is a kind of exulceration; for there
can be no mixture of things that are not affected reciprocally one by
the other. The very mathematical rudiments do not a little perplex
little children at the first, and philosophy troubles the brains of
young beginners; but this corroding humor is not lasting, either to
these or to lovers. Insomuch that a man would think that love at first
resembled the mixture of two liquors, which, when once they begin to
incorporate, by their ebullition discover some little disgusts; for so
love at the beginning bubbles up with a kind of effervency, till being
settled and purified it acquires a firm and stable constitution. For
this indeed is properly that kind of mixture which is called a thorough
mixture; whereas the love of other friends, conversing and living
together, is like the touches and interweavings of Epicurus’s atoms,
subject to raptures and separations, but can never compose such a union
as proceeds from love assisting conjugal society. For neither are the
pleasures received from any other source so great, nor the benefits
conferred on others so lasting, nor is the glory and beauty of any
other friendship so noble and desirable,
As when the man and wife at board and bed
Under one roof a life of concord lead.[113]
Moreover, it is a thing warranted by law; while Nature shows us that
even the Gods themselves stood in need of love for the sake of common
procreation. Thus the poets tell us that earth is in love with the
showers, and heaven with the earth; and the natural philosophers are of
opinion that the sun is in love with the moon, that they copulate every
month, and that the moon conceives by virtue of that conjunction. And
it would of necessity follow that the earth, which is the common mother
of all mankind, of all animals, and of all manner of plants, would one
day cease and be extinguished, should that same ardent love and desire
infused by the God forsake matter, and matter cease to pursue and lust
after the principles and motions of generation.
But that we may not seem to wander too far or spend our time in
trifles, you yourselves are not ignorant that these pederasties are
by many said to be the most uncertain and least durable things in
the world, and that they are derided by those that make use of them,
who affirm that the love of boys, like an egg, may be destroyed by a
hair;[114] and the lovers themselves are like the wandering Scythians,
who, having spent their spring in flowery and verdant pastures,
presently dislodge from thence, as out of an enemy’s country. And Bion
the Sophister was yet more sharp and satirical, when he called the
beards of young and beautiful striplings by the names of Harmodii
and Aristogitons (i.e. tyrant-killers), since by that budding show of
manhood their lovers are delivered from their pleasant tyranny. But
these imputations are not justly charged upon true lovers. Elegant
therefore was that which was said by Euripides. For as he was clasping
and embracing the fair Agatho, after the down began to sprout forth
upon his chin, he cried that the very autumn of lovely youths was
pleasing and delightful. But I say more than this, that the love of
virtuous women does not decay with the wrinkles that appear upon their
faces, but remains and endures to their graves and monuments. Then
again, we shall find but few male couples of true lovers, but thousands
of men and women conjoined together in wedlock, who have reciprocally
and inviolably observed a community of affection and loyalty to the end
of their lives. I shall instance only one example, which happened in
our time, during the reign of Caesar Vespasian.
25. Julius, who was the first that occasioned the revolt in Galatia,
among many other confederates in the rebellion had one Sabinus, a young
gentleman of no mean spirit, and for fame and riches inferior to none.
But having undertaken a very difficult enterprise, they miscarried;
and therefore expecting nothing but death by the hand of justice, some
of them killed themselves, others made their escapes as well as they
could. As for Sabinus, he had all the opportunities that could be to
save himself by flying to the barbarians; but he had married a lady,
the best of women, which they called by the name of Empone, as much as
to say a heroess. This woman it was not in his power to leave, neither
could he carry her conveniently along with him. Having therefore in
the country certain vaults or cellars under ground, where he had hid
his treasures and movables of greatest value, which were only known to
two of his freed bondmen, he dismissed all the rest of his servants,
as if he had intended to poison himself. And taking along with him
his two faithful and trusty servants, he hid himself in one of the
vaults, and sent another of his enfranchised attendants, whose name
was Martalius, to tell his wife that her husband had poisoned himself
and that the house and his corpse were both burnt together, designing
by the lamentation and unfeigned grief of his wife to make the report
of his death the more easily believed; which fell out according to his
wish. For the lady, so soon as she heard the news, threw herself upon
the floor, and continued for three days together without meat or drink,
making the most bitter outcries, and bewailing her loss with all the
marks of a real and unfeigned anguish; which Sabinus understanding, and
fearing her sorrow might prevail with her to lay violent hands upon
herself, he ordered the same Martalius to tell her that he was yet
alive and lay hid in such a place; however, that she should for a while
continue her mourning, and be sure so to counterfeit her grief that
she should not be discovered. And indeed in all other things the lady
acted her part so well, and managed her passion to that degree, that no
woman could do it better. But having still a longing desire to see her
husband, she went to him in the night and returned again so privately
that nobody took any notice of her. And thus she continued keeping him
company for seven months together, that it might be said to differ very
little from living in hell itself. Where after she had so strangely
disguised Sabinus with a false head of hair, and such odd sort of
habit, that it was impossible for him to be known, she carried him to
Rome along with her undiscovered to several that met him. But not being
able to obtain his pardon, she returned with him back to his den, and
for many years lived with him under ground; only between whiles she
went to the city, and there showed herself in public to several ladies,
her friends and familiar acquaintance. But that which was the most
incredible of all things, she so ordered her business that none of the
ladies perceived her being with child, though she bathed at the same
time with them. For such is the nature of that same ointment wherewith
the women anoint their hair to make it of a red-golden color, that by
its fatness and oiliness it plumps and swells up the flesh of the body,
and brings it up to an embonpoint. So that the lady, no less liberal
of her ointment than diligent to chafe and rub her body limb by limb,
by the proportionable rising and swelling of her flesh in every part,
concealed the swelling of her belly. And when she came to be delivered,
she endured the pains of her child-bearing alone by herself, like a
lioness, hiding herself in her den with her husband; and there, as I
may say, she bred up in private her two male whelps. For at that time
she was delivered of two boys, of which there was one who was slain in
Egypt; the other, whose name was also Sabinus, was but very lately with
us at Delphi.
For this reason Caesar put the lady to death; but dearly paid for
the murder by the utter extirpation of his whole posterity, which in
a short time after was utterly cut off from the face of the earth.
For during his whole reign, there was not a more cruel and savage
act committed; neither was there any other spectacle which in all
probability the Gods and Daemons more detested, or any from which they
more turned away their eyes in abomination of the sight. Besides,
she abated the compassion of the spectators by the stoutness of her
behavior and the grandeur of her utterance, than which there was
nothing that more exasperated Vespasian; when, despairing of her
husband’s pardon, she did as it were challenge the emperor to exchange
her life for his, telling him withal, that she accounted it a far
greater pleasure to live in darkness under ground as she had done, than
to reign in splendor like him.
26. Here, as my father told me, ended the discourse concerning Love in
the neighborhood of Thespiae; at what time they saw one of Pisias’s
friends, by name Diogenes, coming at a good round pace towards them;
to whom when Soclarus, while he was yet at a distance, cried out, No
tidings of war, Diogenes, I hope? No, no, said he, that ne’er can be
at a wedding; and therefore mend your pace, for the nuptial sacrifice
stays only for your coming. All the rest of the company were exceeding
glad, only Zeuxippus asked whether Pisias were still angry. On the
contrary, said Diogenes, as he before opposed the match, so now he was
the first to approve what Ismenodora had done; and at the same time,
putting on a garland upon his head and throwing a white nuptial robe
about his shoulders, he is to march before all the company through the
market-place, to give thanks to the God of Love.
Well done, by Jupiter, come away, come away then, cried my father, that
we may laugh and be merry with our friend, and adore the Deity. For
there is no doubt that he is propitiously present with his favor and
approbation.