[After these sketches had gone through the press, and
were ready for the binder, we sent Mr. Slick a copy; and
shortly afterwards received from him the following letter,
which characteristic communication we give entire--EDITOR.]
To MR. HOWE,
SIR.--I received your letter, and note its contents; I
aint over half pleased, I tell you; I think I have been
used scandalous, that's a fact. It warn't the part of a
gentleman for to go and pump me arter that fashion and
then go right off and blart it out in print. It was a
nasty dirty mean action, and I don't thank you nor the
Squire a bit for it. It will be more nor a thousand
dollars out of my pocket. There's an eend to the Clock
trade now, and a pretty kettle of fish I've made of it,
hav'nt I? I shall never hear the last on it, and. what
am I to say when I go back to the States? I'll take my
oath I never said one half the stuff he has set down
there; and as for that long lochrum about Mr. Everett,
and the Hon. Alden Gobble, and Minister, there aint a
word of truth in it from beginnin to eend. If ever I
come near hand to him agin, I'll larn him--but never
mind, I say nothin. Now there's one thing I don't cleverly
understand. If this here book is my "Sayins and Doins,"
how comes it yourn or the Squire's either? If my thoughts
and notions are my own, how can they be any other folks's?
According to my idee you have no more right to take them,
than you have to take my clocks without payin for 'em.
A man that would be guilty of such an action is no
gentleman, that's flat, and if you don't like it, you
may lump it--for I don't valy him nor you, neither, nor
are a Blue Nose that ever stept in shoe leather the matter
of a pin's head. I don't know as ever I felt so ugly
afore since I was raised; why didn't he put his name to
it, as well as mine? When an article han't the maker's
name and factory on it, it shows its a cheat, and he's
ashamed to own it. If I'm to have the name I'll have the
game, or I'll know the cause why, that's a fact? Now
folks say you are a considerable of a candid man, and
right up and down in your dealins, and do things above
board, handsum--at least so I've hearn tell. That's what
I like; I love to deal with such folks. Now spose you
make me an offer? You'll find me not very difficult to
trade with, and I don't know but I might put off more
than half of the books myself, tu. I'll tell you how I'd
work it. I'd say, "Here's a book they've namesaked arter
me, Sam Slick the Clockmaker, but it tante mine, and I
can't altogether jist say rightly whose it is. Some say
it's the General's, and some say its the Bishop's, and
some say its Howe himself; but I aint availed who it is.
Its a wise child that knows its own father. It wipes up
the Blue Noses considerable hard, and don't let off the
Yankees so very easy neither, but it's generally allowed
to be about the prettiest book ever writ in this country;
and although it aint altogether jist gospel what's in
it, there's some pretty home truths in it, that's a fact.
Whoever wrote it must be a funny feller, too, that's
sartin; for there are some queer stories in it that no
soul could help larfin at, that's a fact. Its about the
wittiest book I ever seed. Its nearly all sold off, but
jist a few copies I've kept for my old customers. The
price is just 5s. 6d. but I'll let you have it for 5s.
because you'll not get another chance to have one." Always
ax a sixpence more than the price, and then bate it, and
when Blue Nose hears that, he thinks he's got a bargain,
and bites directly. I never see one on 'em yet that didn't
fall right into the trap.
Yes, make me an offer, and you and I will trade, I think.
But fair play's a jewel, and I must say I feel ryled and
kinder sore. I han't been used handsum atween you two,
and it don't seem to me that I had ought to be made a
fool on in that book, arter that fashion, for folks to
laugh at, and then be sheered out of the spec. If I am,
somebody had better look out for squalls, I tell you.
I'm as easy as an old glove, but a glove aint an old shoe
to be trod on, and I think a certain person will find
that out afore he is six months older, or else I'm
mistakened, that's all. Hopin to hear from you soon, I
remain yours to command,