I have long nown as how as the present LORD MARE was one of the werry
nicest, as well as one of the werry liberallists, of Lord Mares as we
has had for many years, but I most suttenly did not kno, till larst
Saturday, that, noticing, as he must have done, how shamefoolly
the County Counsellors is a trying for to destroy the grand old
Copperation, and take pusession of Gildhal and the Manshun House, he
had the courage to assemble round his ospiterbel Table all the most
princiblest of the great writers of our wunderful and powerful Press,
and let them judge for theirselves whether sich a hinstitootion as he
represented was worth preserwin or not! Ah, that was sumthink like a
Bankwet that was! Why amost eweryboddy was there as was anyboddy. And
the ony trubble as that caused was, that they was all so jolly glad
to meet each other, under sitch unusual suckemstances, that nothink on
airth coud keep em quiet, no, not ewen when the Amerrycan Embassader
torked to em for about arf a nour!
One of the most distinguist of the skollars as I was waiting on told
one of the most butiful Painters, in my hearing, as how he thort
it wood be rayther a wise thing of all future Lord Mares if they
himmitated the present LORD MARE'S exampel; and I wentur, with all
umility, to say Ditto to the distinguisht Skoller. ROBERT.
* * * * *
GE-O-M-ETRICALLY CONSIDERED.--The illuminations were as good as they
could be everywhere. The brilliant initials, "G. M.," wanted nothing
to render them perfect. If that want had been supplied, then,
as "nothing" is represented by a cipher, the initials would have
commemorated the G. _O._ M.
* * * * *
FROM HENLEY TO THE OPERA ON THE NIGHT OF THE STATE PERFORMANCE.--"Rich
and rare were the gems they wore;" and two ladies, with magnificent
tiaras, if they had only shown up at Henley, would have won the prize
for "_The Diamond Skulls_."
* * * * *
Mrs. R. caught sight of a heading in a daily paper--"Board of Trade
Returns." Our old friend at once exclaimed. "Then where has the Board
of Trade been to? Where is it returning from? I really don't call this
attending to business."
* * * * *
[Illustration: A DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE.
_Tommy_ (_on his way to the Browns' Juvenile Garden Party_). "NOW,
NURSE, REMEMBER, WHEN ONCE WE'VE PASSED THAT GARDEN GATE, _YOU DON'T
BELONG TO ME!_"]
* * * * *