Most learned, approved, wise, master of many languages, keen
to detect all uttered lies, and quick to recognize real
truth, honourable, Herr Wilibald Pirkheimer, your humble
servant, Albrecht Dürer, wishes you all health, great and
worthy honour, with the devil as much of such nonsense as
you like.
I will wager that for this you too would think me an orator
of a hundred headings. A chamber must have more than four
corners which is to contain gods of memory. I will not addle
my pate with it. I will recommend it to you, but I believe
that however many chambers there may be in the head, you
would have a little bit in each of them. The Margrave would
not grant a long enough audience. A hundred headings and to
each head say a hundred words: that takes 9 days, 7 hours,
52 minutes, not counting the sighs, which I have not yet
reckoned; but you could not get through the whole in one go:
it would draw itself out like some dotard's speech.
I have taken every trouble about the carpets, but I cannot
find any wide ones; they are all narrow and long. However, I
still look out for them every day, and so does Anthon Kolb.
I gave your respects to Bernhard Hirschvogel and he sent you
his service. He is full of sorrow for the death of his son,
the nicest boy that I have ever seen. I can't get any of
your fool's feathers. Oh, if you were only here, how you
would admire these fine Italian soldiers! How often I think
of you! Would God that you and Kuntz Kamerer could see them!
They have scythe-shaped lances with 218 points; if they only
touch a man with them he dies, for they are all poisoned.
Heigho! but I can do it well, I'll be an Italian soldier.
The Venetians are collecting many men; so is the Pope and
the King of France. What will come of it I don't know, for
people scoff at our King a great deal.
Wish Stephen Paumgartner much happiness from me. I can't
wonder at his having taken a taken wife. My greeting to
Borsch, Herr Lorenz, and our fair friend, as well as to your
Rechenmeister girl, and thank your Club for its greeting;
says it's a dirty one. I sent you olive-wood from Venice to
Augsburg, where I let it stay, a full ten hundred weight.
But it says it won't wait, hence the stink.
My picture [the self-portrait Dürer painted?], you must
know, says it would give a ducat for you to see it. It is
well painted and finely coloured. I have got much praise but
little profit by it. I could have easily earned 200 ducats
in the time, and I have had to decline big commissions in
order to come home.
I have shut up all the painters, who used to say that I was
good at engraving, but that in painting I didn't know how to
handle my colours. Now they all say they never saw better
colouring.
My French mantle greets you, and so does my Italian coat. It
seems to me that you smell of gallantry. I can scent it from
here; and they say here, that when you go courting, you
pretend to be no more than 25 years old. Oh, yes! Multiply
that and I`ll believe it. My friend, there `s a devil of a
lot of Italians here who are just like you. I don't know how
it is!
The Doge and the Patriarch have seen my picture. Herewith
let me commend myself as your servant. I really must sleep,
for it's striking seven at night, and I have already written
to the Prior of the Augustines, to my father-in-law, to
Mistress Dietrich, and to my wife, and they are all sheets
cram full. So I have had to hurry over this. Read according
to the sense. You would do it better if you were writing to
princes. Many good nights to you, and days too. Given at
Venice on Our Lady's Day in September.
You needn't lend my wife and mother anything. They have got
money enough.
--Albert Dürer