BEHAVIOR AT TABLE.
Did it ever occur to you to inquire why all civilized people have their
food prepared at particular hours, and all the family sit at table
together? Why not have the food prepared, and placed where every one
can go and eat, whenever he pleases, by himself? One great advantage of
having a whole family sit together, and partake of their meals at the
same time, is, that it brings them together in a social way, every day.
But for this, and the assembling of the family at prayers, they might
not all meet at once for a long time. But eating together is a mark of
friendship; and it tends to promote social feeling. In a well-regulated
family, also, it is a means of great improvement, both of mind and
manners. It is, in fact, a _school of good manners_. You will perceive,
then, how very important it is, that your behavior at table should
always be regulated by the rules of propriety. If you acquire vulgar
habits here, or practise rudeness, you will find it difficult to
overcome them; and they will make you appear to great disadvantage.
I shall mention a few things to be observed, at the table, by one who
would maintain a character for good breeding. And, first of all, be not
tardy in taking your place at the table. In a well-regulated family,
the master of the family waits till all are seated before he asks a
blessing. Suppose there are five persons at the table, and you hinder
them all by your tardiness three minutes, you waste fifteen minutes of
precious time. To those who set a proper value upon time, this is a
great evil. There is no need of it; you may as easily be at your seat
in time as too late. When called to a meal, never wait to finish what
you are doing, but promptly leave it, and proceed to your place. Above
all, do not delay till after the blessing, and so sit down to your food
like a heathen.
The table is a place for easy, cheerful, social intercourse; but some
children make it a place of noisy clamor. The younger members of the
family should leave it for the parents (and guests, if there are any,)
to take the lead in conversation. It does not appear well for a very
young person to be forward and talkative at table. You should generally
wait till you are spoken to; or, if you wish to make an inquiry or a
remark, do it in a modest, unassuming way, not raising your voice, nor
spinning out a story. And be especially careful not to interrupt any
other person. Sensible people will get a very unfavorable impression
concerning you, if they see you bold and talkative at table. Yet you
should never appear inattentive to what others are saying. Be not so
intent on discussing the contents of your plate, as not to observe the
movements of others, or to hear their conversation. Show your interest
in what is said by occasional glances at the speaker, and by the
expression of your countenance; but be not too anxious to put a word in
yourself. Some children make themselves ridiculous, by always joining
in, and making their remarks, when older persons are speaking, often
giving a grave opinion of some matter about which they know nothing.
Be helpful to others, without staring at them, or neglecting your own
plate. You may keep your eye on the movements around you, to pass a
cup and saucer, to notice if any one near you needs helping, and to
help any dish that is within your reach. By so doing, you may greatly
relieve your father and mother, who must be very busy, if they help
all the family. By cultivating a close observation, and studying to
know and anticipate the wants of others, you will be able to do these
things in a genteel and graceful manner, without appearing obtrusive or
forward.
Study _propriety_. If asked what you will be helped to, do not answer
in an indefinite manner, saying, you “have no choice;” for this will
put the master of the house to the inconvenience of choosing for you.
Do not wait, after you are asked, to determine what you will have, but
answer promptly; and do not be particular in your choice. To be very
particular in the choice of food is not agreeable to good breeding.
Never ask for what is not on the table. Do not make remarks respecting
the food; and avoid expressing your likes and dislikes of particular
articles. One of your age should not appear to be an epicure. Show your
praise of the food set before you, by the good nature and relish with
which you partake of it; but do not eat so fast as to appear voracious.
Never put on sour looks, nor turn up your nose at your food. This is
unmannerly, and a serious affront to the mistress of the table. Be
careful to use your knife and fork as other people do, and to know when
to lay them down, and when to hold them in your hands. Be careful not
to drop your food, nor to spill liquids on the cloth. Do not leave the
table before the family withdraw from it, unless it is necessary; and
then, ask to be excused. Neither linger to finish your meal, after you
perceive the rest have done.
Besides what I have mentioned, there are a great many nameless little
things, that go to make up good manners at table, which you must learn
by studying the rules of propriety, and observing the behavior of
others.