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Transcriber’s note:
Text in italics is enclosed by underscores (_italics_).
HOW TO BE A MAN:
A Book for Boys,
Containing Useful Hints on the
Formation of Character.
by
HARVEY NEWCOMB,
Author of the “Young Lady’S Guide,” etc.
Boston:
Gould, Kendall, and Lincoln.
1847.
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1846,
By Gould, Kendall, and Lincoln,
In the Clerk’s Office of the District Court of the District of
Massachusetts.
Stereotyped at the
Boston Type and Stereotype Foundry
PREFACE.
“Who reads a preface?” Many do not; but jump at once into the middle
of a book. But it is well to know something about a book, before
reading it; and who so likely to give you information respecting the
contents of a book as the Author himself? I wish to see the youth of
my country come forward upon the stage of life, models of excellence,
with characters formed for the times in which they are to act. How
much influence my book may have, in securing such a result, I cannot
tell; but my design in writing it has been, to contribute something
toward forming the character of some of those who are to be our future
electors, legislators, governors, judges, ministers, lawyers, and
physicians,--after the best model; and, from the kind reception of my
former attempts to benefit American youth, I trust they will give a
candid hearing to the few hints contained in the following pages. It is
intended for boys,--or, if you please, for _young gentlemen_,--in early
youth, from eight or ten to fifteen or sixteen years of age. It covers
substantially the same ground occupied by a work for girls issued
simultaneously with it; and some of the chapters are identical in the
two books, while others are entirely different, and some partially so.
It is the hope of the Author, that every one who reads it, will strive
to _be a man_, in the highest sense of the term.
JANUARY, 1847.
CONTENTS.
I. ON CHILDHOOD AND YOUTH 7
II. NATURE AND OBJECTS OF EDUCATION 12
III. PIETY, AS THE SPRING OF ACTION AND REGULATOR OF THE
SOUL 17
IV. FILIAL PIETY 24
V. TREATMENT OF BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND OTHERS IN THE
FAMILY 37
VI. BEHAVIOR AT SCHOOL 45
VII. BEHAVIOR AT TABLE 51
VIII. BEHAVIOR AT FAMILY WORSHIP 56
IX. PRIVATE PRAYER 59
X. KEEPING THE SABBATH 64
XI. HABITS 83
XII. EDUCATION OF THE BODY 100
XIII. ON USEFUL LABOR 109
XIV. EDUCATION OF THE HEART 121
XV. EDUCATION OF THE MIND 145
XVI. READING 155
XVII. WRITING 161
XVIII. INDOLENCE 165
XIX. ON DOING ONE THING AT A TIME 168
XX. ON FINISHING WHAT IS BEGUN 170
XXI. CHOICE OF SOCIETY AND FORMATION OF FRIENDSHIPS 172
XXII. BAD COMPANY--MISCHIEVOUSNESS 176
XXIII. ON AMUSEMENTS 181
XXIV. GOVERNMENT OF THE TONGUE 192
XXV. ON THE ART OF AGREEABLE AND PROFITABLE CONVERSATION 198
XXVI. INQUISITIVENESS 206
XXVII. ON THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING ABLE TO SAY NO 209
XXVIII. ON BEING USEFUL 212
XXIX. ON BEING CONTENTED 216
XXX. UNION OF SERIOUS PIETY WITH HABITUAL CHEERFULNESS 220
HOW TO BE A MAN.
CHAPTER I.
ON CHILDHOOD AND YOUTH.
In one sense, very young persons are apt to think too much of
themselves--in another, not enough. When they think they know more than
their parents and teachers, or other elderly people, and so set up to
be _bold_ and _smart_, then they think too much of themselves. It used
to be said, when I was a boy, that “Young folks _think_ old folks are
fools; but old folks _know_ young folks are fools.” Although I would
be very far indeed from calling you _fools_, because you have already
acquired much knowledge, and have the capacity for acquiring much more,
yet, with reference to such knowledge as is acquired by _experience_,
and in comparison with _what there is to be known_, there is “more
truth than _poetry_,” in the old adage. But, when young people suppose
it is of no consequence what they do, or how they behave, _because they
are young_, then they do not think enough of themselves. Should you see
a man riding with a little stick for a whip, you would not think his
stick worth your notice at all; but the biggest tree that ever I saw
grew from a little willow stick that a man rode home with, and then
planted in his garden. You have sat under the beautiful shade of a
great elm-tree; and when you have looked upon its tall, majestic trunk,
and its great and strong branches, with their ten thousand little limbs
waving gracefully before the wind, you have been filled with admiration
and delight. “What a mighty tree!” you say; “I wonder how long it has
been growing.” But the seed of that tree, when it was planted, many
years ago, was no bigger than a mustard-seed; and if you had seen the
little tiny sprout that your grandfather was tying up with so much
care, when it was a few years old, you would have wondered that a man
should think so much of such an insignificant twig. But, if he had let
it grow up as it began, without any care, it never would have been the
stately tree it is now. That was the most important period in its life,
when it was a little twig. It began to lean over, and grow crooked and
ugly. If it had not been trained up then, it would have continued to
grow worse and worse; and, after it had grown to be a tree, it could
not have been straightened at all. Now, you are, in some respects,
like this little twig. You, too, have just begun to be; and now your
character is pliable, like the young tree. But, unlike it, your being
is to have no end. Instead of growing a few hundred years, like a great
tree, you are to live forever. And every thing that you do now must
have an influence in forming your character for your whole being. In
this latter sense, you cannot think too much of yourself; for you are
the _germ_ of an immortal being.
Did you ever stand by the shore of a placid lake or pond, in a calm,
sunny day, and throw a little stone into its smooth, silvery waters?
Did you observe how, first, a little ripple was formed around the
place where it struck, and this was followed by a wave, and then,
beyond, another, and another, till the whole surface of the water was
disturbed? It was a very little thing that you did; and yet it agitated
a great body of water. So it is with childhood and youth; the most
insignificant action you perform, in its influence upon your character,
will reach through the whole period of your existence.
It will not do for you to say, “It is no matter how I behave now; I
shall do differently when I am a man.” “But would you have a little
boy act like a man?” Not exactly. I would not have him affect the
man, and appear as though he thought himself a full-grown gentleman.
I would not have him imitate the _toad_, which undertook to swell to
the size of an _ox_, and in the operation burst open. But, I would
have him _manly_ in his childishness. I would have him courageous, to
meet difficulties, noble and generous in his feelings and actions, and
courteous in his manners, always, in all companies, and in all places,
behaving in a manner becoming a person of his age. A well-bred boy, who
knows what is becoming and proper, and carries it out in his behavior,
is already a _gentleman_. But the mischievous, rude, unmannerly lad,
who pays no regard to propriety of conduct, will never be a gentleman.
And a boy who has the courage to face difficulties, and the energy and
perseverance to accomplish what he undertakes, is already _a man_;
while the indolent, cowardly, “_I can’t_” boy, will _never be a man_.
It is my desire, in this book, to lead you to the formation of a solid,
energetic, manly character, combined with true gentility of manners;
and then you will be both a _man_ and a _gentleman_.
Very young persons sometimes live in an _ideal world_. What they
imagine in their plays seems real. They have a little fairy world in
their minds, in which they live more, and take greater delight, than
they do in what is real and true. To this I do not object, within
certain bounds; but often it becomes a _passion_, so that they lose
all relish for sober, every-day life. For such creatures of fancy real
life is too dull, and what concerns realities, too grave. Perhaps they
will not like my book, because it treats of things true and real. But
I beg them to consider that, through the whole of their being, they
are to be concerned chiefly with _realities_; and therefore, to do
them substantial good, we must speak to them of things real, and not
of those airy things that belong to the fairy land. But real things
are, truly, more interesting than the creations of fancy. The things of
fancy interest you more only because they appear new and less common.
A person who has always lived in the country, and is used to sitting
under the wide-spreading, shady tree, would be more pleased with the
_picture_ of a tree than with a _tree itself_. But one brought up in
the city would cast away the picture, and hasten to enjoy the cool
shade of the beautiful tree. A castle in the air may please the fancy;
but you want a _real house_ to live in.