XXI

Live not unto yourselves! Can any one deny that this blessed sentiment

is extending in modern life? Do we build houses for ourselves or for

others? Do we make great entertainments for our own comfort? I do not

know that anybody regarded the erection of the Henderson palace as an

altruistic performance. The socialistic newspapers said that it was pure

ostentation. But had it not been all along in the minds of the builders

to ask all the world to see it, to share the delight of it? Is this

a selfish spirit? When I stroll in the Park am I not pleased with the

equipages, with the display of elegance upon which so much money has

been lavished for my enjoyment?

All the world was asked to the Henderson reception. The coming event

was the talk of the town. I have now cuttings from the great journals,

articles describing the house, more beautifully written than Gibbon's

stately periods about the luxury of later Rome. It makes one smile to

hear that the day of fine writing is over. Everybody was eager to go;

there was some plotting to obtain invitations by those who felt that

they could not afford to be omitted from the list that would be printed;

by those who did not know the Hendersons, and did not care to know

them, but who shared the general curiosity; and everybody vowed that he

supposed he must go, but he hated such a crush and jam as it was sure

to be. Yet no one would have cared to go if it had not promised to be a

crush. I said that all the world was asked, which is our way of saying

that a thousand or two had been carefully selected from the million

within reach.

Invitations came to Brandon, of course, for old times' sake. The Morgans

said that they preferred a private view; Miss Forsythe declared that she

hadn't the heart to go; in short, Mr. and Mrs. Fairchild alone went to

represent the worldly element.

I am sorry to say that the reader must go to the files of the city press

for an account of the night's festivity. The pen that has been used in

portraying Margaret's career is entirely inadequate to it. There is a

general impression that an American can do anything that he sets his

hand to, but it is not true; it is true only that he tries everything.

The reporter is born, as the poet is; it cannot be acquired--that

astonishing, irresponsible command of the English language; that warm,

lyrical tone; that color, and bewildering metaphorical brilliancy; that

picturesqueness; that use of words as the painter uses pigments, in

splashes and blotches which are so effective; that touch of raillery

and sarcasm and condescension; that gay enjoyment of reveling in the

illimitable; that air of superior knowledge and style; that dash of

sentiment; that calm and somewhat haughty judgment.

I am always impressed at such an entertainment with the good-humor of

the American people, no matter what may be the annoyance and discomfort.

In all the push and thrust and confusion, amid the rending of trains,

the tearing of lace, the general crushing of costumes, there was the

merriest persiflage, laughter, and chatter, and men and women entered

into and drew out of the fashionable wreck in the highest spirits. For

even in such a spacious mansion there were spots where currents met, and

rooms where there was a fight for mere breath. It would have been a tame

affair without this struggle. And what an epitome of life it all was!

There were those who gave themselves up to admiration, who gushed with

enthusiasm; there were those who had the weary air of surfeit with

splendor of this sort; there were the bustling and volatile, who made

facetious remarks, and treated the affair like a Fourth of July; and

there were also groups dark and haughty, like the Stotts, who held a

little aloof, and coldly admitted that it was most successful; it lacked

je ne sais quoi, but it was in much better taste than they had expected.

Is there something in the very nature of a crowd to bring out the

inherent vulgarity of the best-bred people, so that some have doubted

whether the highest civilization will tolerate these crushing and

hilarious assemblies?

At any rate, one could enjoy the general effect. There might be vulgar

units, and one caught notes of talk that disenchanted, but there were so

many women of rare and stately beauty, of exquisite loveliness, of charm

in manner and figure--so many men of fine presence, with such an air

of power and manly prosperity and self-reliance--I doubt if any other

assembly in the world, undecorated by orders and uniforms, with no

blazon of rank, would have a greater air of distinction. Looking over it

from a landing in the great stairway that commanded vistas and ranges

of the lofty, brilliant apartments, vivified by the throng, which

seemed ennobled by the spacious splendor in which it moved, one would be

pardoned a feeling of national pride in the spectacle. I drew aside to

let a stately train of beauty and of fashion descend, and saw it sweep

through the hall, and enter the drawing-rooms, until it was lost in a

sea of shifting color. It was like a dream.

And the centre of all this charming plutocratic graciousness and beauty

was Margaret--Margaret and her handsome husband. Where did the New

Hampshire boy learn this simple dignity of bearing, this good-humored

cordiality without condescension, this easy air of the man of the world?

Was this the railway wrecker, the insurance manipulator, the familiar

of Uncle Jerry, the king of the lobby, the pride and the bugaboo of

Wall Street? Margaret was regnant. And how charmingly she received her

guests! How well I knew that half-imperious toss of the head, and

the glance of those level, large gray eyes, softened instantly, on

recognition, into the sweetest smile of welcome playing about the dimple

and the expressive mouth! What woman would not feel a little thrill of

triumph? The world was at her feet. Why was it, I wonder, as I stood

there watching the throng which saluted this queenly woman of the world,

in an hour of supreme social triumph, while the notes of the distant

orchestra came softly on the air, and the overpowering perfume of banks

of flowers and tropical plants--why was it that I thought of a fair,

simple girl, stirred with noble ideals, eager for the intellectual life,

tender, sympathetic, courageous? It was Margaret Debree--how often I had

seen her thus!--sitting on her little veranda, swinging her chip hat

by the string, glowing from some errand in which her heart had played

a much more important part than her purse. I caught the odor of the

honeysuckle that climbed on the porch, and I heard the note of the robin

that nested there.

“You seem to be in a brown study,” said Carmen, who came up, leaning on

the arm of the Earl of Chisholm.

“I'm lost in admiration. You must make allowance, Miss Eschelle, for a

person from the country.”

“Oh, we are all from the country. That is the beauty of it. There is Mr.

Hollowell, used to drive a peddler's cart, or something of that sort, up

in Maine, talking with Mr. Stott, whose father came in on the towpath

of the Erie Canal. You don't dance? The earl has just been giving me a

whirl in the ballroom, and I've been trying to make him understand about

democracy.”

“Yes,” the earl rejoined; “Miss Eschelle has been interpreting to me

republican simplicity.”

“And he cannot point out, Mr. Fairchild, why this is not as good as a

reception at St. James. I suppose it's his politeness.”

“Indeed, it is all very charming. It must be a great thing to be the

architect of your own fortune.”

“Yes; we are all self-made,” Carmen confessed.

“I am, and I get dreadfully tired of it sometimes. I have to read over

the Declaration and look at the map of the Western country at such

times. A body has to have something to hold on to.”

“Why, this seems pretty substantial,” I said, wondering what the girl

was driving at.

“Oh, yes; I suppose the world looks solid from a balloon. I heard one

man say to another just now, 'How long do you suppose Henderson will

last?' Probably we shall all come down by the run together by-and-by.”

“You seem to be on a high plane,” I suggested.

“I guess it's the influence of the earl. But I am the most misunderstood

of women. What I really like is simplicity. Can you have that without

the social traditions,” she appealed to the earl, “such as you have in

England?”

“I really cannot say,” the earl replied, laughing. “I fancied there was

simplicity in Brandon; perhaps that was traditional.”

“Oh, Brandon!” Carmen cried, “see what Brandon does when it gets a

chance. I assure your lordship that we used to be very simple people in

New York. Come, let us go and tell Mrs. Henderson how delightful it all

is. I'm so sorry for her.”

As I moved about afterwards with my wife we heard not many comments, a

word here and there about Henderson's wonderful success, a remark about

Margaret's beauty, some sympathy for her in such a wearisome ordeal--the

world is full of kindness--the house duly admired, and the ordinary

compliments paid; the people assembled were, as usual, absorbed in their

own affairs. From all we could gather, all those present were used

to living in a palace, and took all the splendor quite as a matter of

course. Was there no envy? Was there nothing said about the airs of

a country school-ma'am, the aplomb of an adventurer? Were there no

criticisms afterwards as the guests rolled home in their carriages,

surfeited and exhausted? What would you have? Do you expect the

millennium to begin in New York?

The newspapers said that it was the most brilliant affair the metropolis

had ever seen. I have no doubt it was. And I do not judge, either,

by the newspaper estimates of the expense. I take the simple words

addressed by the earl to Margaret, when he said good-night, at their

full value. She flushed with pleasure at his modest commendation.

Perhaps it was to her the seal of her night's triumph.

The house was opened. The world had seen it. The world had gone. If

sleep did not come that night to her tired head on the pillow, what

wonder? She had a position in the great world. In imagination it opened

wider and wider. Could not the infinite possibilities of it fill the

hunger of any soul?

The echoes of the Henderson reception continued long in the country

press. Items multiplied as to the cost. It was said that the sum

expended in flowers alone, which withered in a night, would have endowed

a ward in a charity hospital. Some wag said that the price of the supper

would have changed the result of the Presidential election. Views of the

mansion were given in the illustrated papers, and portraits of Mr. and

Mrs. Henderson. In country villages, in remote farmhouses, this great

social event was talked of, Henderson's wealth was the subject of

conjecture, Margaret's toilet was an object of interest. It was a

shining example of success. Preachers, whose sensational sermons are as

widely read as descriptions of great crimes, moralized on Henderson's

career and Henderson's palace, and raised up everywhere an envied image

of worldly prosperity. When he first arrived in New York, with only

fifty cents in his pocket--so the story ran-and walked up Broadway and

Fifth Avenue, he had nearly been run over at the corner of Twenty-sixth

Street by a carriage, the occupants of which, a lady and gentleman,

had stared insolently at the country youth. Never mind, said the lad to

himself, the day will come when you will cringe to me. And the day did

come when the gentleman begged Henderson to spare him in Wall Street,

and his wife intrigued for an invitation to Mrs. Henderson's ball.

The reader knows there is not a word of truth in this. Alas! said the

preacher, if he had only devoted his great talents to the service of the

Good and the True! Behold how vain are all the triumphs of this

world! see the result of the worship of Mammon! My friends, the age is

materialized, a spirit of worldliness is abroad; be vigilant, lest the

deceitfulness of riches send your souls to perdition. And the plain

country people thanked God for such a warning, and the country girl

dreamed of Margaret's career, and the country boy studied the ways of

Henderson's success, and resolved that he, too, would seek his fortune

in this bad metropolis.

The Hendersons were important people. It was impossible that a knowledge

of their importance should not have a reflex influence upon Margaret.

Could it be otherwise than that gradually the fineness of her

discrimination should be dulled by the almost universal public consent

in the methods by which Henderson had achieved his position, and that in

time she should come to regard adverse judgment as the result of envy?

Henderson himself was under less illusion; the world was about what

he had taken it for, only a little worse--more gullible, and with less

principle. Carmen had mocked at Margaret's belief in Henderson. It is

certainly a pitiful outcome that Margaret, with her naturally believing

nature, should in the end have had a less clear perception of what was

right and wrong than Henderson himself. Yet Henderson would not have

shrunk, any more than Carmen would, from any course necessary to his

ends, while Margaret would have shrunk from many things; but in absolute

worldliness, in devotion to it, the time had come when Henderson felt

that his Puritan wife was no restraint upon him. It was this that broke

gentle Miss Forsythe's heart when she came fully to realize it.

I said that the world was at Margaret's feet. Was it? How many worlds

are there, and does one ever, except by birth (in a republic), conquer

them all? Truth to say, there were penetralia in New York society

concerning which this successful woman was uneasy in her heart. There

were people who had accepted her invitations, to whose houses she had

been, who had a dozen ways of making her feel that she was not of them.

These people--I suppose that if two castaways landed naked on a desert

island, one of them would instantly be the ancien regime--had spoken of

Mrs. Henderson and her ambition to the Earl of Chisholm in a way that

pained him. They graciously assumed that he, as one of the elect, would

understand them. It was therefore with a heavy heart that he came to say

good-by to Margaret before his return.

I cannot imagine anything more uncomfortable for an old lover than a

meeting of this sort; but I suppose the honest fellow could not resist

the inclination to see Margaret once more. I dare say she had a little

flutter of pride in receiving him, in her consciousness of the change

in herself into a wider experience of the world. And she may have been

a little chagrined that he was not apparently more impressed by her

surroundings, nor noticed the change in herself, but met her upon the

ground of simple sincerity where they had once stood. What he tried to

see, what she felt he was trying to see, was not the beautiful woman

about whose charm and hospitality the town talked, but the girl he had

loved in the old days.

He talked a little, a very little, about himself and his work in

England, and a great deal about what had interested him here on his

second visit, the social drift, the politics, the organized charities;

and as he talked, Margaret was conscious how little the world in which

she lived seemed to interest him; how little importance he attached to

it. And she saw, as in a momentary vision of herself, that the things

that once absorbed her and stirred her sympathies were now measurably

indifferent to her. Book after book which he casually mentioned, as

showing the drift of the age, and profoundly affecting modern thought,

she knew only by name. “I guess,” said Carmen, afterwards, when Margaret

spoke of the earl's conversation, “that he is one of those who are

trying to live in the spirit--what do they call it?--care for things of

the mind.”

“You are doing a noble work,” he said, “in your Palace of Industry.”

“Yes, it is very well managed,” Margaret replied; “but it is uphill

work, the poor are so ungrateful for charity.”

“Perhaps nobody, Mrs. Henderson, likes to be treated as an object of

charity.”

“Well, work isn't what they want when we give it, and they'd rather live

in the dirt than in clean apartments.”

“Many of them don't know any better, and a good many of our poor resent

condescension.”

“Yes,” said Margaret, with warmth; “they are getting to demand things as

their right, and they are insolent. The last time I drove down in that

quarter I was insulted by their manner. What are you going to do with

such people? One big fellow who was leaning against a lamp-post growled,

'You'd better stay in your own palace, miss, and not come prying round

here.' And a brazen girl cried out: 'Shut yer mouth, Dick; the lady's

got to have some pleasure. Don't yer see, she's a-slummin'?'”

“It's very hard, I know,” said the earl; “perhaps we are all on the

wrong track.”

“Maybe. Mr. Henderson says that the world would get on better if

everybody minded his own business.”

“I wish it were possible,” the earl remarked, with an air of finishing

the topic. “I have just been up to Brandon, Mrs. Henderson. I fear that

I have seen the dear place for the last time.”

“You don't mean that you are tired of America?”

“Not that. I shall never, even in thought, tire of Brandon.”

“Yes, they are dear, good people.”

“I thought Miss Forsythe--what a sweet, brave woman she is!--was looking

sad and weary.”

“Oh, aunt won't do anything, or take an interest in anything. She just

stays there. I've tried in vain to get her here. Do you know”--and she

turned upon the earl a look of the old playfulness--“she doesn't quite

approve of me.”

“Oh,” he replied, hesitating a little--“I think, Mrs. Henderson, that

her heart is bound up in you. It isn't for me to say that you haven't a

truer friend in the world.”

“Yes, I know. If I'd only--” and she stopped, with a petulant look on

her fair face--“well, it doesn't matter. She is a dear soul.”

“I--suppose,” said the earl, rising, “we shall see you again on the

other side?”

“Perhaps,” with a smile. Could anything be more commonplace than such a

parting? Good-by, I shall see you tomorrow or next year, or in the next

world. Hail and farewell! That is the common experience. But, oh, the

bitterness of it to many a soul!

It is quite possible that when the Earl of Chisholm said good-by, with

an air of finality, Margaret felt that another part of her life was

closed. He was not in any way an extraordinary person, he was not a very

rich peer, probably with his modesty and conscientiousness, and devotion

to the ordinary duties of his station, he would never attain high

rank in the government. Yet no one could be long with him without

apprehending that his life was on a high plane. It was with a little

irritation that Margaret recognized this, and remembered, with a twinge

of conscience, that it was upon that plane that her life once traveled.

The time had been when the more important thing to her was the world of

ideas, of books, of intellectual life, of passionate sympathy with the

fortunes of humanity, of deepest interest in all the new thoughts

struck out by the leaders who studied the profound problems of life and

destiny.

That peace of mind which is found only in the highest activity for

the noblest ends she once had, though she thought it then unrest and

striving--what Carmen, who was under no illusions about Henderson, or

Uncle Jerry, or the world of fashion, and had an intuitive perception of

cant that is sometimes denied to the children of light, called “taking

pleasure in the things of the mind.” To do Margaret justice, there

entered into her reflections no thought of the title and position of the

Earl of Chisholm. They had never been alluring to her. If one could

take any satisfaction in this phase of her character, her worldiness was

purely American.

“I hardly know which I should prefer,” Carmen was saying when they

were talking over the ball and the earl's departure, “to be an English

countess or the wife of an American millionaire.”

“It might depend upon the man,” replied Margaret, with a smile.

“The American,” continued Carmen, not heeding this suggestion, “has the

greater opportunities, and is not hindered by traditions. If you were a

countess you would have to act like a countess. If you are an American

you can act--like anything--you can do what you please. That is nicer.

Now, an earl must do what an earl has always done. What could you do

with such a husband? Mind! Yes, I know, dear, about things of the mind.

First, you know, he will be a gentleman socialist (in the magazines),

and maybe a Christian socialist, or a Christian scientist, or something

of that sort, interested in the Mind Cure.”

“I should think that would suit you. Last I knew, you were deep in the

Mind Cure.”

“So I was. That was last week. Now I'm in the Faith Cure; I've found out

about both. The difference is, in the Mind Cure you don't require any

faith; in the Faith Cure you don't require any mind. The Faith Cure just

suits me.”

“So you put your faith in an American millionaire?”

“Yes, I think I should, until an American millionaire put faith in me.

That might shake me. It is such a queer world. No, I'm in doubt. If

you loved an earl he would stay an earl. If you loved an American

millionaire, ten to one he would fail.”

Margaret did not escape the responsibility of her success. Who does? My

dear Charmian, who wrote the successful novel of last year, do you not

already repent your rash act? If you do not write a better novel this

year, will not the public flout you and jeer you for a pretender? Did

the public overpraise you at first? Its mistaken partiality becomes

now your presumption. Last year the press said you were the rival of

Hawthorne. This year it is, “that Miss Charmian who set herself up as a

second Hawthorne.” When the new house was opened, it might be said that

socially Mrs. Henderson had “arrived.” Had she? When one enters on the

path of worldliness is there any resting-place? Is not eternal vigilance

the price of position?

Henderson was apparently on good terms with the world. Many envied him,

many paid him the sincerest flattery, that of imitation. He was a king

in the street, great enterprises sought his aid, all the charities

knocked at his door, his word could organize a syndicate or a trust,

his nod could smash a “corner.” There were fabulous stories about his

wealth, about his luck. This also was Margaret's world. Her ambition

expanded in it with his. The things he set his heart on she coveted.

Alas! there is always another round to the ladder.

Seeing the means by which he gained his ends, and the public condonation

of them, would not his cynicism harden into utter unbelief in general

virtue and goodness? I don't know that Henderson changed much, accented

as his grasping selfishness was on occasion; prosperity had not impaired

that indifferent good-fellowship and toleration which had early gained

him popularity. His presence was nowhere a rebuke to whatever was going

on. He was always accessible, often jocular. The younger members in the

club said Henderson was a devilish good fellow, whatever people said.

The President of the United States used to send for him and consult him,

because he wanted no office; he knew men, and it was a relief to talk

with a liberal rich man of so much bonhomie who wanted nothing.

And Margaret, what view of the world did all this give her? Did she

come in contact with any one who had not his price, who was not going or

wanting to go in the general current? Was it not natural that she should

take Henderson's view? Dear me, I am not preaching about her. We did

not see much of her in those days, and for one or two years of what I

suppose was her greatest enjoyment of her social triumphs. So far as

we heard, she was liked, admired, followed, envied. It could not be

otherwise, for she did not lose her beauty nor her charm, and she tried

to please. Once when I saw her in the city and we fell into talk--and

the talk was gay enough and unconstrained--I was struck with a certain

hardness of tone, a little bitterness quite unlike her old self. It is a

very hard thing to say, and I did not say it even to my wife, but I had

a painful impression that she was valuing people by the money they had,

by the social position they had attained.

Was she content in that great world in which she moved? I had heard

stories of slights, of stabs, of rebuffs, of spiteful remarks. Had

she not come to know how success even in social life is sometimes

attained--the meannesses, the jealousies, the cringing? Even with all

her money at command, did she not know that her position was at the

price of incessant effort? Because she had taken a bold step today, she

must take a bolder one tomorrow--more display, more servants, some new

invention of luxury and extravagance. And seeing, as I say, the inside

of this life and what it required, and how triumphs and notoriety were

gained, was it a wonder that she gradually became in her gayety cynical,

in her judgments bitter?

I am not criticising her. What are we, who have had no opportunities,

to sit in judgment on her! I believe that it is true that it was at

her solicitation that Henderson at last did endow a university in the

Southwest. I know that her name was on all the leading charities of the

city. I know that of all the patronesses of the charity ball her costume

was the most exquisite, and her liberality was most spoken of. I know

that in the most fashionable house of worship (the newspapers call it

that) she was a constant attendant; that in her modest garb she never

missed a Lenten service; and we heard that she performed a novena during

this penitential season.

Why protract the story of how Margaret was lost to us? Could this

interest any but us--we who felt the loss because we still loved her?

And why should we presume to set up our standard of what is valuable in

life, of what is a successful career? She had not become what we hoped,

and little by little all the pleasure of intercourse on both sides, I

dare say, disappeared. Could we say that life, after all, had not given

her what she most desired? Rather than write on in this strain about

her, I would like to read her story as it appeared to the companions

whose pleasures were her pleasures, whose successes were her

successes--her story written by one who appreciated her worldly

advantages, and saw all the delight there was in this attractive

worldliness.

What comfort there was in it we had in knowing that she was a favorite

in the society of which we read such glowing descriptions, and that no

one else bore its honors more winningly. It was not an easy life, with

all its exactions and incessant movement. It demanded more physical

strength than most women possess, and we were not surprised to hear from

time to time that she was delicate, and that she went through her season

with feverish excitement. But she chose it; it had become necessary to

her. Can women stop in such a career, even if they wish to stop?

Yes, she chose it. I, for one, never begrudged her any pleasure she had

in life, and I do not know but she was as happy as it is possible for

human being to be in a full experiment of worldliness. Who is the judge?

But we, I say, who loved her, and knew so well the noble possibilities

of her royal nature under circumstances favorable to its development,

felt more and more her departure from her own ideals. Her life in its

spreading prosperity seemed more and more shallow. I do not say she was

heartless, I do not say she was uncharitable, I do not say that in all

the externals of worldly and religious observance she was wanting; I do

not say that the more she was assimilated to the serenely worldly nature

of her husband she did not love him, or that she was unlovely in the

worldliness that ingulfed her and bore her onward. I do not know that

there is anything singular in her history. But the pain of it to us was

in the certainty--and it seemed so near--that in the decay of her higher

life, in the hardening process of a material existence, in the transfer

of all her interests to the trivial and sensuous gratifications--time,

mind, heart, ambition, all fixed on them--we should never regain our

Margaret. What I saw in a vision of her future was a dead soul--a

beautiful woman in all the success of envied prosperity, with a dead

soul.

A Little Journey in the World · 第 24 / 25 题