'I hope I may be excused for expatiating, in divers parts of this solemn
last act, upon subjects of importance. For I have heard of so many
instances of confusion and disagreement in families, and so much doubt
and difficulty, for want of absolute clearness in the testaments of
departed persons, that I have often concluded, (were there to be no other
reasons but those which respect the peace of surviving friends,) that
this last act, as to its designation and operation, ought not to be the
last in its composition or making; but should be the result of cool
deliberation, and (as is more frequently than justly said) of a sound
mind and memory; which too seldom are to be met with but in sound health.
All pretences of insanity of mind are likewise prevented, when a testator
gives reasons for what he wills; all cavils about words are obviated; the
obliged are assured; and they enjoy the benefit for whom the benefit was
intended. Hence have I, for some time past, employed myself in penning
down heads of such a disposition; which, as reasons offered, I have
altered and added to, so that I was never absolutely destitute of a will,
had I been taken off ever so suddenly. These minutes and imperfect
sketches enabled me, as God has graciously given me time and sedateness,
to digest them into the form in which they appear.'
I, CLARISSA HARLOWE, now, by strange melancholy accidents, lodging in the
parish of St. Paul, Covent-garden, being of sound and perfect mind and
memory, as I hope these presents, drawn up by myself, and written with my
own hand, will testify, do, [this second day of September,*] in the year
of our Lord ----,** make and publish this my last will and testament, in
manner and form following:
* A blank, at the writing, was left for this date, and filled up on this
day. See Vol. VIII. Letter LI.
** The date of the year is left blank for particular reasons.
In the first place, I desire that my body may lie unburied three days
after my decease, or till the pleasure of my father be known concerning
it. But the occasion of my death not admitting of doubt, I will not, on
any account that it be opened; and it is my desire, that it shall not be
touched but by those of my own sex.
I have always earnestly requested, that my body might be deposited in the
family vault with those of my ancestors. If it might be granted, I could
now wish, that it might be placed at the feet of my dear and honoured
grandfather. But as I have, by one very unhappy step, been thought to
disgrace my whole lineage, and therefore this last honour may be refused
to my corpse; in this case my desire is, that it may be interred in the
churchyard belonging to the parish in which I shall die; and that in the
most private manner, between the hours of eleven and twelve at night;
attended only by Mrs. Lovick, and Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and their maid
servant.
But it is my desire, that the same fees and dues may be paid which are
usually paid for those who are laid in the best ground, as it is called,
or even in the chancel.--And I bequeath five pounds to be given, at the
discretion of the church-wardens, to twenty poor people, the Sunday after
my interment; and this whether I shall be buried here or elsewhere.
I have already given verbal directions, that, after I am dead, (and laid
out in the manner I have ordered,) I may be put into my coffin as soon as
possible: it is my desire, that I may not be unnecessarily exposed to the
view of any body; except any of my relations should vouchsafe, for the
last time, to look upon me.
And I could wish, if it might be avoided without making ill will between
Mr. Lovelace and my executor, that the former might not be permitted to
see my corpse. But if, as he is a man very uncontroulable, and as I am
nobody's, he insist upon viewing her dead, whom he ONCE before saw in a
manner dead, let his gay curiosity be gratified. Let him behold, and
triumph over the wretched remains of one who has been made a victim to
his barbarous perfidy: but let some good person, as by my desire, give
him a paper, whilst he is viewing the ghastly spectacle, containing these
few words only,--'Gay, cruel heart! behold here the remains of the once
ruined, yet now happy, Clarissa Harlowe!--See what thou thyself must
quickly be;--and REPENT!--'
Yet, to show that I die in perfect charity with all the world, I do most
sincerely forgive Mr. Lovelace the wrongs he has done me.
If my father can pardon the errors of his unworthy child, so far as to
suffer her corpse to be deposited at the feet of her grandfather, as
above requested, I could wish (my misfortunes being so notorious) that a
short discourse be pronounced over my remains, before they be interred.
The subject of the discourse I shall determine before I conclude this
writing.
So much written about what deserves not the least consideration, and
about what will be nothing when this writing comes to be opened
and read, will be excused, when my present unhappy circumstances
and absence from all my natural friends are considered.
And now, with regard to the worldly matters which I shall die possessed
of, as well as to those which of right appertain to me, either by the
will of my said grandfather, or otherwise; thus do I dispose of them.
In the first place, I give and bequeath all the real estates in or to
which I have any claim or title by the said will, to my ever-honoured
father, James Harlowe, Esq. and that rather than to my brother and
sister, to whom I had once thoughts of devising them, because, if they
survive my father, those estates will assuredly vest in them, or one of
them, by virtue of his favour and indulgence, as the circumstances of
things with regard to marriage-settlements, or otherwise, may require;
or, as they may respectively merit by the continuance of their duty.
The house, late my grandfather's, called The Grove, and by him, in honour
of me, and of some of my voluntary employments, my Dairy-house, and the
furniture thereof as it now stands (the pictures and large iron chest of
old plate excepted,) I also bequeath to my said father; only begging it
as a favour that he will be pleased to permit my dear Mrs. Norton to pass
the remainder of her days in that house; and to have and enjoy the
apartments in it known by the name of The Housekeeper's Apartments, with
the furniture in them; and which, (plain and neat) was bought for me by
my grandfather, who delighted to call me his house-keeper; and which,
therefore, in his life-time, I used as such: the office to go with the
apartments. And as I am the more earnest in this recommendation, as I
had once thought to have been very happy there with the good woman; and
because I think her prudent management will be as beneficial to my
father, as his favour can be convenient to her.
But with regard to what has accrued from that estate, since my
grandfather's death, and to the sum of nine hundred and seventy pounds,
which proved to be the moiety of the money that my said grandfather had
by him at his death, and which moiety he bequeathed to me for my sole
and separate use, [as he did the other moiety in like manner to my
sister;*] and which sum (that I might convince my brother and sister that
I wished not for an independence upon my father's pleasure) I gave into
my father's hands, together with the management and produce of the whole
estate devised to me--these sums, however considerable when put together,
I hope I may be allowed to dispose of absolutely, as my love and
gratitude (not confined only to my own family, which is very wealthy in
all its branches) may warrant: and which therefore I shall dispose of in
the manner hereafter mentioned. But it is my will and express direction,
that my father's account of the above-mentioned produce may be taken and
established absolutely (and without contravention or question,) as he
shall be pleased to give it to my cousin Morden, or to whom else he shall
choose to give it; so as that the said account be not subject to
litigation, or to the controul of my executor, or of any other person.
* See Vol. I. Letter XIII.
My father, of his love and bounty, was pleased to allow me the same
quarterly sums that he allowed my sister for apparel and other
requisites; and (pleased with me then) used to say, that those sums
should not be deducted from the estate and effects bequeathed to me by my
grandfather: but having mortally offended him (as I fear it may be said)
by one unhappy step, it may be expected that he will reimburse himself
those sums--it is therefore my will and direction, that he shall be
allowed to pay and satisfy himself for all such quarterly or other sums,
which he was so good as to advance me from the time of my grandfather's
death; and that his account of such sums shall likewise be taken without
questioning the money, however, which I left behind me in my escritoire,
being to be taken in part of those disbursements.
My grandfather, who, in his goodness and favour to me, knew no bounds,
was pleased to bequeath to me all the family pictures at his late house,
some of which are very masterly performances; with command, that if I
died unmarried, or if married and had no descendants, they should then go
to that son of his (if more than one should be then living) whom I should
think would set most value by them. Now, as I know that my honoured
uncle, Mr. John Harlowe, Esq. was pleased to express some concern that
they were not left to him, as eldest son; and as he has a gallery where
they may be placed to advantage; and as I have reason to believe that he
will bequeath them to my father, if he survive him, who, no doubt, will
leave them to my brother, I therefore bequeath all the said family
pictures to my said uncle, John Harlowe. In these pictures, however, I
include not one of my own, drawn when I was about fourteen years of age;
which I shall hereafter in another article bequeath.
My said honoured grandfather having a great fondness for the old family
plate, which he would never permit to be changed, having lived, as he
used to day, to see a great deal of it come into request again in the
revolution of fashions; and having left the same to me, with a command
to keep it entire; and with power at my death to bequeath it to
whomsoever I pleased that I thought would forward his desire; which was,
as he expresses it, that it should be kept to the end of time; this
family plate, which is deposited in a large iron chest, in the strong
room at his late dwelling-house, I bequeath entire to my honoured uncle
Antony Harlowe, Esq. with the same injunctions which were laid on me; not
doubting but he will confirm and strengthen them by his own last will.
I bequeath to my ever-valued friend, Mrs. Judith Norton, to whose piety
and care, seconding the piety and care of my ever-honoured and excellent
mother, I owe, morally speaking, the qualifications which, for eighteen
years of my life, made me beloved and respected, the full sum of six
hundred pounds, to be paid her within three months after my death.
I bequeath also to the same good woman thirty guineas, for mourning for
her and for her son, my foster-brother.
To Mrs. Dorothy Hervey, the only sister of my honoured mother, I bequeath
the sum of fifty guineas for a ring; and I beg of her to accept of my
thankful acknowledgements for all her goodness to me from my infancy; and
particularly for her patience with me, in the several altercations that
happened between my brother and sister and me, before my unhappy
departure from Harlowe-place.
To my kind and much valued cousin, Miss Dolly Hervey, daughter of my aunt
Hervey, I bequeath my watch and equipage, and my best Mechlin and
Brussels head-dresses and ruffles; also my gown and petticoat of flowered
silver of my own work; which having been made up but a few days before I
was confined to my chamber, I never wore.
To the same young lady I bequeath likewise my harpsichord, my
chamber-organ, and all my music-books.
As my sister has a very pretty library; and as my beloved Miss Howe has
also her late father's as well as her own; I bequeath all my books in
general, with the cases they are in, to my said cousin Dolly Hervey. As
they are not ill-chosen for a woman's library, I know that she will take
the greater pleasure in them, (when her friendly grief is mellowed by
time into a remembrance more sweet than painful,) because they were mine;
and because there are observations in many of them of my own writing; and
some very judicious ones, written by the truly reverend Dr. Lewen.
I also bequeath to the same young lady twenty-five guineas for a ring, to
be worn in remembrance of her true friend.
If I live not to see my worthy cousin, William Morden, Esq. I desire my
humble and grateful thanks may be given to him for his favours and
goodness to me; and particularly for his endeavours to reconcile my other
friends to me, at a time when I was doubtful whether he would forgive me
himself. As he is in great circumstances, I will only beg of him to
accept of two or three trifles, in remembrance of a kinswoman who always
honoured him as much as he loved her. Particularly, of that piece of
flowers which my uncle Robert, his father, was very earnest to obtain, in
order to carry it abroad with him.
I desire him likewise to accept of the little miniature picture set in
gold, which his worthy father made me sit for to the famous Italian
master whom he brought over with him; and which he presented to me, that
I might bestow it, as he was pleased to say, upon the man whom I should
be one day most inclined to favour.
To the same gentleman I also bequeath my rose diamond ring, which was a
present from his good father to me; and will be the more valuable to him
on that account.
I humbly request Mrs. Annabella Howe, the mother of my dear Miss Howe, to
accept of my respectful thanks for all her favours and goodness to me,
when I was so frequently a visiter to her beloved daughter; and of a ring
of twenty-five guineas price.
My picture at full length, which is in my late grandfather's closet,
(excepted in an article above from the family pictures,) drawn when I was
near fourteen years of age; about which time my dear Miss Howe and I
began to know, to distinguish, and to love one another so dearly--I
cannot express how dearly--I bequeath to that sister of my heart: of
whose friendship, as well in adversity as prosperity, when I was deprived
of all other comfort and comforters, I have had such instances, as that
our love can only be exceeded in that state of perfection, in which I
hope to rejoice with her hereafter, to all eternity.
I bequeath also to the same dear friend my best diamond ring, which, with
other jewels, is in the private drawer of my escritoire: as also all my
finished and framed pieces of needle-work; the flower-piece excepted,
which I have already bequeathed to my cousin Morden.
These pieces have all been taken down, as I have heard;* and my relations
will have no heart to put them up again: but if my good mother chooses to
keep back any one piece, (the above capital piece, as it is called,
excepted,) not knowing but some time hence she may bear the sight of it;
I except that also from this general bequest; and direct it to be
presented to her.
* See Vol. III. Letter LV.
My whole-length picture in the Vandyke taste,* that used to hang in my
own parlour, as I was permitted to call it, I bequeath to my aunt Hervey,
except my mother should think fit to keep it herself.
* Ibid.
I bequeath to the worthy Charles Hickman, Esq. the locket, with the
miniature picture of the lady he best loves, which I have constantly
worn, and shall continue to wear next my heart till the approach of my
last hour.* It must be the most acceptable present that can be made him,
next to the hand of the dear original. 'And, O my dear Miss Howe, let it
not be long before you permit his claim to the latter--for indeed you
know not the value of a virtuous mind in that sex; and how preferable
such a mind is to one distinguished by the more dazzling flights of
unruly wit; although the latter were to be joined by that specious
outward appearance which too--too often attracts the hasty eye, and
susceptible heart.'
* See Letter II. of this volume.
Permit me, my dear friends, this solemn apostrophe, in this last solemn
act, to a young lady so deservedly dear to me!
I make it my earnest request to my dear Miss Howe, that she will not put
herself into mourning for me. But I desire her acceptance of a ring with
my hair; and that Mr. Hickman will also accept of the like; each of the
value of twenty-five guineas.
I bequeath to Lady Betty Lawrance, and to her sister, Lady Sarah Sadleir,
and to the right honourable Lord M. and to their worthy nieces, Miss
Charlotte and Miss Martha Montague, each an enamelled ring, with a cipher
Cl. H. with my hair in crystal, and round the inside of each, the day,
month, and year of my death: each ring, with brilliants, to cost twenty
guineas. And this as a small token of the grateful sense I have of the
honour of their good opinions and kind wishes in my favour; and of their
truly noble offer to me of a very considerable annual provision, when they
apprehended me to be entirely destitute of any.
To the reverend and learned Dr. Arthur Lewen, by whose instructions I
have been equally delighted and benefited, I bequeath twenty guineas for
a ring. If it should please God to call him to Himself before he can
receive this small bequest, it is my will that his worthy daughter may
have the benefit of it.
In token of the grateful sense I have of the civilities paid me by Mrs.
and Miss Howe's domestics, from time to time, in my visits there, I
bequeath thirty guineas, to be divided among them, as their dear young
mistress shall think proper.
To each of my worthy companions and friends, Miss Biddy Lloyd, Miss Fanny
Alston, Miss Rachel Biddulph, and Miss Cartright Campbell, I bequeath
five guineas for a ring.
To my late maid servant, Hannah Burton, an honest, faithful creature, who
loved me, reverenced my mother, and respected my sister, and never sought
to do any thing unbecoming of her character, I bequeath the sum of fifty
pounds, to be paid within one month after my decease, she labouring under
ill health: and if that ill-health continue, I commend her for farther
assistance to my good Mrs. Norton, to be put upon my poor's fund,
hereafter to be mentioned.
To the coachman, groom, and two footmen, and five maids, at
Harlowe-place, I bequeath ten pounds each; to the helper five pounds.
To my sister's maid, Betty Barnes, I bequeath ten pounds, to show that I
resent no former disobligations; which I believe were owing more to the
insolence of office, and to natural pertness, than to personal ill will.
All my wearing-apparel, of whatever sort, that I have not been obliged to
part with, or which is not already bequeathed, (my linen excepted,) I
desire Mrs. Norton to accept of.
The trunks and boxes in which my clothes are sealed up, I desire may not
be opened, but in presence of Mrs. Norton (or of someone deputed by her)
and of Mrs. Lovick.
To the worthy Mrs. Lovick, above-mentioned, from whom I have received
great civilities, and even maternal kindnesses; and to Mrs. Smith (with
whom I lodge) from whom also I have received great kindnesses; I bequeath
all my linen, and all my unsold laces; to be divided equally between
them, as they shall agree; or, in case of disagreement, the same to be
sold, and the money arising to be equally shared by them.
And I bequeath to the same good gentlewomen, as a further token of my
thankful acknowledgements of their kind love and compassionate concern
for me, the sum of twenty guineas each.
To Mr. Smith, the husband of Mrs. Smith above-named, I bequeath the sum
of ten guineas, in acknowledgement of his civilities to me.
To Katharine, the honest maid servant of Mrs. Smith, to whom (having no
servant of my own) I have been troublesome, I bequeath five guineas; and
ten guineas more, in lieu of a suit of my wearing-apparel, which once,
with some linen, I thought of leaving to her. With this she may purchase
what may be more suitable to her liking and degree.
To the honest and careful widow, Anne Shelburne, my nurse, over and above
her wages, and the customary perquisites that may belong to her, I
bequeath the sum of ten guineas. Here is a careful, and (to persons of
such humanity and tenderness) a melancholy employment, attended in the
latter part of life with great watching and fatigue, which is hardly ever
enough considered.
The few books I have at my present lodgings, I desire Mrs. Lovick to
accept of; and that she be permitted, if she please, to take a copy of my
book of meditations, as I used to call it; being extracts from the best
of books; which she seemed to approve of, although suited particularly to
my own case. As for the book itself, perhaps my good Mrs. Norton will be
glad to have it, as it is written with my own hand.
In the middle drawer of my escritoire, at Harlowe-place, are many
letters, and copies of letters, put up according to their dates, which I
have written or received in a course of years (ever since I learned to
write) from and to my grandfather, my father and mother, my uncles, my
brother and sister, on occasional little absences; my late uncle Morden,
my cousin Morden; Mrs. Norton, and Miss Howe, and other of my companions
and friends, before my confinement at my father's: as also from the three
reverent gentlemen, Dr. Blome, Mr. Arnold, and Mr. Tomkins, now with God,
and the very reverend Dr. Lewen, on serious subjects. As these letters
exhibit a correspondence that no person of my sex need to be ashamed of,
allowing for the time of life when mine were written; and as many
excellent things are contained in those written to me; and as Miss Howe,
to whom most of them have been communicated, wished formerly to have
them, if she survived me: for these reasons, I bequeath them to my said
dear friend, Miss Anna Howe; and the rather, as she had for some years
past a very considerable share in the correspondence.
I do hereby make, constitute, and ordain John Belford, of Edgware, in
the county of Middlesex, Esq. the sole executor of this my last will and
testament; having previously obtained his leave so to do. I have given
the reasons which induced me to ask this gentleman to take upon him this
trouble to Miss Howe. I therefore refer to her on this subject.
But I do most earnestly beg of him the said Mr. Belford, that, in the
execution of his trust, he will (as he has repeatedly promised)
studiously endeavour to promote peace with, and suppress resentments in,
every one; so that all farther mischiefs may be prevented, as well from,
as to, his friend. And, in order to this, I beseech him to cultivate the
friendship of my worthy cousin Morden; who, as I presume to hope, (when
he understands it to be my dying request,) will give him his advice and
assistance in every article where it may be necessary: and who will
perhaps be so good as to interpose with my relations, if any difficulty
should arise about carrying out some of the articles of this my last will
into execution, and to soften them into the wished-for condescension:--
for it is my earnest request to Mr. Belford, that he will not seek by
law, or by any sort of violence, either by word or deed, to extort the
performance from them. If there be any articles of a merely domestic
nature, that my relations shall think unfit to be carried into execution;
such articles I leave entirely to my said cousin Morden and Mr. Belford
to vary, or totally dispense with, as they shall agree upon the matter;
or, if they two differ in opinion, they will be pleased to be determined
by a third person, to be chosen by them both.
Having been pressed by Miss Howe and her mother to collect the
particulars of my sad story, and given expectation that I would, in order
to do my character justice with all my friends and companions; but not
having time before me for the painful task; it has been a pleasure for me
to find, by extracts kindly communicated to me by my said executor, that
I may safely trust my fame to the justice done me by Mr. Lovelace, in his
letters to him my said executor. And as Mr. Belford has engaged to
contribute what is in his power towards a compliment to be made of all
that relates to my story, and knows my whole mind in this respect; it is
my desire, that he will cause two copies to be made of this collection;
one to remain with Miss Howe, the other with himself; and that he will
show or lend his copy, if required, to my aunt Hervey, for the
satisfaction of any of my family; but under such restrictions as the said
Mr. Belford shall think fit to impose; that neither any other person's
safety may be endangered, nor his own honour suffer, by the
communication.
I bequeath to my said executor the sum of one hundred guineas, as a
grateful, though insufficient acknowledgment of the trouble he will be at
in the execution of the trust he has so kindly undertaken. I desire him
likewise to accept of twenty guineas for a ring: and that he will
reimburse himself for all the charges and expenses which he shall be at
in the execution of this trust.
In the worthy Dr. H. I have found a physician, a father, and a friend. I
beg of him, as a testimony of my gratitude, to accept of twenty guineas
for a ring.
I have the same obligations to the kind and skilful Mr. Goddard, who
attended me as my apothecary. His very moderate bill I have discharged
down to yesterday. I have always thought it incumbent upon testators to
shorten all they can the trouble of their executors. I know I under-rate
the value of Mr. Goddard's attendances, when over and above what may
accrue from yesterday, to the hour that will finish all, I desire fifteen
guineas for a ring may be presented to him.
To the Reverend Mr. ----, who frequently attended me, and prayed by me in
my last stages, I also bequeath fifteen guineas for a ring.
There are a set of honest, indigent people, whom I used to call My Poor,
and to whom Mrs. Norton conveys relief each month, (or at shorter
periods,) in proportion to their necessities, from a sum I deposited in
her hands, and from time to time recruited, as means accrued to me; but
now nearly, if not wholly, expended: now, that my fault may be as little
aggravated as possible, by the sufferings of the worthy people whom
Heaven gave me a heart to relieve; and as the produce of my grandfather's
estate, (including the moiety of the sums he had by him, and was pleased
to give me, at his death, as above mentioned,) together with what I shall
further appropriate to the same use in the subsequent articles, will, as
I hope, more than answer all my legacies and bequests; it is my will and
desire, that the remainder, be it little or much, shall become a fund to
be appropriated, and I hereby direct that it be appropriated, to the like
purposes with the sums which I put into Mrs. Norton's hands, as aforesaid
--and this under the direction and management of the said Mrs. Norton,
who knows my whole mind in this particular. And in case of her death, or
of her desire to be acquitted of the management thereof, it is my earnest
request to my dear Miss Howe, that she will take it upon herself, and
that at her own death she will transfer what shall remain undisposed of
at the time, to such persons, and with such limitations, restrictions,
and provisoes, as she shall think will best answer my intention. For, as
to the management and distribution of all or any part of it, while in
Mrs. Norton's hands, or her own, I will that it be entirely discretional,
and without account, either to my executor or any other person.
Although Mrs. Norton, as I have hinted, knows my whole mind in this
respect; yet it may be proper to mention, in this solemn last act, that
my intention is, that this fund be entirely set apart and appropriated to
relieve temporarily, from the interest thereof, (as I dare say it will be
put out to the best advantage,) or even from the principal, if need be,
the honest, industrious, labouring poor only; when sickness, lameness,
unforeseen losses, or other accidents, disable them from following their
lawful callings; or to assist such honest people of large families as
shall have a child of good inclinations to put out to service, trade, or
husbandry.
It has always been a rule with me, in my little donations, to endeavour
to aid and set forward the sober and industrious poor. Small helps, if
seasonably afforded, will do for such; and so the fund may be of more
extensive benefit; an ocean of wealth will not be sufficient for the idle
and dissolute: whom, therefore, since they will always be in want, it
will be no charity to relieve, if worthier creatures would, by relieving
the others, be deprived of such assistance as may set the wheels of their
industry going, and put them in a sphere of useful action.
But it is my express will and direction, that let this fund come out to
be ever so considerable, it shall be applied only in support of the
temporary exigencies of the persons I have described; and that no one
family or person receive from it, at one time, or in one year, more than
the sum of twenty pounds.
It is my will and desire, that the set of jewels which was my
grandmother's, and presented to me, soon after her death, be valued; and
the worth of them paid to my executor, if any of my family choose to have
them; or otherwise, that they should be sold, and go to the augmentation
of my poor's fund.--But if they may be deemed an equivalent for the sums
my father was pleased to advance to me since the death of my grandfather,
I desire that they may be given to him.
I presume, that the diamond necklace, solitaire, and buckles, which were
properly my own, presented by my mother's uncle, Sir Josias, Brookland,
will not be purchased by any one of my family, for a too obvious reason:
in this case I desire that they may be sent to the best advantage, and
apply the money to the uses of my will.
In the beginning of this tedious writing, I referred to the latter part
of it, the naming of the subject of the discourse which I wished might be
delivered at my funeral, if permitted to be interred with my ancestors.
I think the following will be suitable to my case. I hope the alteration
of the words her and she, for him and he, may be allowable.
'Let not her that is deceived trust in vanity; for vanity
shall be her recompense. She shall be accomplished before
her time; and her branch shall not be green. She shall
shake off her unripe grape as the vine, and shall cut off her
flower as the olive.'*
* Job xv. 31, 32, 33.
But if I am to be interred in town, let only the usual burial-service be
read over my corpse.
If my body be permitted to be carried down, I bequeath ten pounds to be
given to the poor of the parish, at the discretion of the church-wardens,
within a fortnight after my interment.
If any necessary matter be omitted in this my will, or if any thing
appear doubtful or contradictory, as possibly may be the case; since
besides my inexperience in these matters, I am now, at this time, very
weak and ill, having put off the finishing hand a little too long, in
hopes of obtaining the last forgiveness of my honoured friend; in which
case I should have acknowledged the favour with a suitable warmth of
duty, and filled up some blanks which I left to the very last,* in a more
agreeable manner to myself than now I have been enabled to do--in case of
such omissions and imperfections, I desire that my cousin Morden will be
so good as to join with Mr. Belford in considering them, and in comparing
them with what I have more explicitly written; and if, after that, any
doubt remain, that they will be pleased to apply to Miss Howe, who knows
my whole heart: and I desire that the construction of these three may be
established: and I hereby establish it, provided it be unanimous, and
direct it to be put in force, as if I had so written and determined
myself.
And now, O my blessed REDEEMER, do I, with a lively faith, humbly lay
hold of thy meritorious death and sufferings; hoping to be washed
clean in thy precious blood from all my sins: in the bare hope of
the happy consequences of which, how light do those sufferings seem
(grievous as they were at the time) which, I confidently trust,
will be a mean, by the grace, to work out for me a more exceeding
and eternal weight of glory!