3. To engage Tomkins to have every thing ready for the opening and
embalming. I shall bring Anderson with me.
4. To get her will and every thing ready for my perusal and
consideration.
I will have possession of her dear heart this very night; and let Tomkins
provide a proper receptacle and spirits, till I can get a golden one made
for it.
I will take her papers. And, as no one can do her memory justice equal
to myself, and I will not spare myself, who can better show the world
what she was, and what a villain he that could use her ill? And the
world shall also see what implacable and unworthy parents she had.
All shall be set forth in words at length. No mincing of the matter.
Names undisguised as well as facts. For, as I shall make the worst
figure in it myself, and have a right to treat myself as nobody else
shall, who shall controul me? who dare call me to account?
Let me know, if the d----d mother be yet the subject of the devil's own
vengeance--if the old wretch be dead or alive? Some exemplary mischief
I must yet do. My revenge shall sweep away that devil, and all my
opposers of the cruel Harlowe family, from the face of the earth. Whole
hecatombs ought to be offered up to the manes of my Clarissa Lovelace.
Although her will may in some respects cross mine, yet I expect to be
observed. I will be the interpreter of her's.
Next to mine, her's shall be observed: for she is my wife, and shall be
to all eternity.--I will never have another.
Adieu, Jack, I am preparing to be with you. I charge you, as you value
my life or your own, do not oppose me in any thing relating to my
Clarissa Lovelace.
My temper is entirely altered. I know not what it is to laugh, or smile,
or be pleasant. I am grown choleric and impatient, and will not be
controuled.
I write this in characters as I used to do, that nobody but you should
know what I write. For never was any man plagued with impertinents as
I am.