I cannot find words to express what we all suffer on the most mournful
news that ever was communicated to us.
My sister Arabella (but, alas! I have now no other sister) was preparing
to follow Mrs. Norton up, and I had resolved to escort her, and to have
looked in upon the dear creature.
God be merciful to us all! To what purpose did the doctor write, if she
was so near her end?--Why, as every body says, did he not send sooner?--
Or, Why at all?
The most admirable young creature that ever swerved! Not one friend to
be with her!--Alas! Sir, I fear my mother will never get over this shock.
--She has been in hourly fits ever since she received the fatal news. My
poor father has the gout thrown into his stomach; and Heaven knows--O
Cousin!--O Sir!--I meant nothing but the honour of the family; yet have I
all the weight thrown upon me--[O this cursed Lovelace!--may I perish if
he escape the deserved vengeance!]*
* The words thus enclosed [] were omitted in the transcript to Mr.
Lovelace.
We had begun to please ourselves that we should soon see her here--Good
Heaven! that her next entrance into this house, after she abandoned us so
precipitately, should be in a coffin.
We can have nothing to do with her executor, (another strange step of the
dear creature's!)--He cannot expect we will--nor, if he be a gentleman,
will he think of acting. Do you, therefore, be pleased, Sir, to order an
undertaker to convey the body down to us. My mother says she shall be
for ever unhappy, if she may not in death see the dear creature whom she
could not see in life. Be so kind, therefore, as to direct the lid to be
only half-screwed down--that (if my poor mother cannot be prevailed upon
to dispense with so shocking a spectacle) she may be obliged--she was the
darling of her heart!
If we know her well in relation to the funeral, it shall be punctually
complied with; as shall every thing in it that is fit or reasonable to be
performed; and this without the intervention of strangers.
Will you not, dear Sir, favour us with your presence at this melancholy
time? Pray do--and pity and excuse, with the generosity which is natural
to the brave and the wise, what passed at our last meeting. Every one's
respects attend you. And I am, Sir,
Your inexpressibly afflicted cousin and servant,
JA. HARLOWE, JUN.
Every thing that's fit or reasonable to be performed! [repeated I to the
Colonel from the above letter on his reading it to me;] that is every
thing which she has directed, that can be performed. I hope, Colonel,
that I shall have no contention with them. I wish no more for their
acquaintance than they do for mine. But you, Sir, must be the mediator
between them and me; for I shall insist upon a literal performance in
every article.
The Colonel was so kind as to declare that he would support me in my
resolution.