When I came into the room I expected to find one half of the company
on crutches and the other half in splints. I am not at all certain
that I am the proper man to be President of this club, because I think
that the President of an athletic club should measure at least 48
inches round the chest, and ought to have biceps of 18 inches, and
scale at least 14 stone 7 lbs. I am afraid all the dumb bells in the
world would not get me up to that. I am what might be called an old
fossil, though I cannot boast of the garrulity of old age, and
therefore I will not tell you that when I played football I was always
kicking the ball out of the ground into the river; or that when I
played cricket I always drove the ball into the river. Those are facts
well known in Newport.
_First Annual Dinner of the Newport Athletic Club,
April 19th, 1890._