I would rather trust and be deceived, than be found to have suspected
falsely.
_Reduction of Armaments Meeting, Newport,
March 17th, 1899._
Some people will not go across a street to hear an oratorio, though
they would go many miles to listen to that very entertaining melody,
"Whoa, Emma!"--and I'm not sure that I shouldn't be one of them.--
_Tredegar Show.
November 26th, 1879._
The other day I was doing a little bit of horse-cropping--I'm fond of
that sort of thing--and went into an Irish dealer's yard, where I saw
a horse which grunted very much. Looking at the dealer, I said, "The
horse is a roarer," and the Irishman replied: "Ah, no, me lord, not a
bit of it. I've 'ad 'im from two years ould, an' e' 'ad wunce a most
desprit froight, an' 'e's 'ad the hiccups ever since!"
_Tredegar Show,
November 26th, 1879._
[Illustration: "_'E's 'ad the hiccups ever since!_"]
I do not think there is a man in England who has more at heart than
myself the religious education of children. In 1839 the Chartist Riots
took place at Newport. In the following year National Schools were
opened, and I believe that had the men who took part in these riots
received the education imparted at the National Schools they would
never have decided upon such a misguided course of action.
_Jubilee of Newport National Schools,
May 16th, 1890._
I was rather alarmed when I received the notice, "Peach Blossom Fancy
Dress Fair," and I telegraphed at once to a lady who I thought knew
what was going on and asked, "Am I obliged to come in fancy dress?"
The answer I got was, "You need not wear anything."
_Llangibby Church Fete,
August, 1910._
[Illustration: "_You need not wear anything._"]
I generally pay great attention to what a clergyman says, but you
cannot always take the advice of a clergyman. A certain man had a dog,
and his minister told him that he had better sell the dog and get a
pig, to which the man replied, "A pretty fool I should look going
rat-catching with a pig."
_St. Paul's Garden Fete, Newport,
June 23rd, 1910._
Without some sort of religion no man can be happy.
_St. Paul's Garden Fete, Newport,
June 23rd, 1910._
I am not accustomed to begging, being more accustomed to being begged
of. That is one of the hereditary privileges of members of the House
of Lords.
_Meeting in connection with the new Infirmary for Newport,
March 17th, 1897._
It appears to me that my good qualities increase in proportion as the
hair comes off the top of my head, and it is well that in proportion
as we grow less ornamental we should grow more useful.
_Tredegar Show,
November 29th, 1876._
I really think I must be out of place here. You know I am one of the
hereditary nonentities. I cannot help the hereditary part of the
business, and I have tried all my life to avoid the other.
_South Monmouthshire Conservative Association,
December 22nd, 1909._
You ought, of course, to learn something about ancient art, or you
will be like a certain Lord Mayor of whom I have heard. One day he
received a telegram from some people who were carrying on excavations
in Greece, and who had discovered a statue by Phidias. They thought,
in common with most foreigners, that the Lord Mayor was the most
powerful person in the kingdom--abroad he is supposed to rule the
country. Anyway, they sent him a telegram saying "Phidias is
recovered." The Lord Mayor wired back that he was pleased to hear it,
but that he did not know that Phidias had been unwell.
_Art School Prize Distribution, Newport,
December 12th, 1899._
A noted musician, when asked whether he thought it was right to carry
out capital punishment, replied: "No; because you can do a man to
death with a piano."
_At Llandaff,
June 26th, 1900._
[Illustration: "_You can do a man to death with a piano._"]
I believe I have laid more foundation stones than any other man in
England. I have mallets and trowels sufficient to supply, I believe,
every Parish Church in the country. They are very handsome and
ornamental, and I hope I shall have more of them.
_Foundation Stone Laying, St. John's Church, Cardiff,
March 12th, 1889._
[Illustration: "_I believe I have laid more foundation stones than any
other man in England._"]
We (agriculturists) are looked upon as a long-suffering and patient
race, and some of the manufacturing class think we are fit subjects
for bleeding. In fact, it has been said that agriculturists are like
their own sheep, inasmuch as they can bear a close shaving without a
bleat; whereas the manufacturers are like pigs; only touch their
bristles and they will "holler like the devil."
_Tredegar Show,
December 17th, 1867._
Lord Rosebery is alternately a menace and a sigh.
_Conservative Dinner, Newport,
November 15th, 1895._
We have had an old-fashioned winter, and I do not care if I never see
another. The only people, I fancy, who have enjoyed the winter are the
doctors and the Press.
_Servants' Ball_,
_January 16th, 1891._