each, because I hate prolixity. The first Saint that presents himself to
me, is the renowned St. Augustin, who himself owns, that he used to get
drunk sometimes. _Crapula autem nonnunquam surrepit servo tuo
misereberis ut longe fiat à me._ Thy servant has been sometimes
crop-sick through excess of wine, have mercy on me, that it may be ever
far from me. It is true, [3]M. Cousin maintains against my author,
M. Petit, the Journal des Sçavans, of the year 1689, 27th June, that St.
Augustin, however, never got drunk. The arguments on both sides you may
find in Bayle's Dictionary, under the article Augustin. But yet there
are somewhere in St. Augustin these words, viz. My soul certainly being
a spirit cannot dwell in a dry place. _Anima mea certè quia spiritus
est, in sicco habitare non potest._
I shall make no comment upon these words, only insert one already made,
which I take from M. Duchat in his Remarks on Rabelais[4]. On these
words of Saint Augustin, says he, mentioned in the second part of the
Decretals, caus. 32, q. 2, c. 9, the commentator says, "And this is an
argument for the Normans, English, and Poles, that they may drink
largely, that the soul may not live in the dry. _Et est argumentum pro
Normannis, Anglicis, et Polonis, ut possint fortiter bibere, ne anima
habitet in sicco._ To which Peter Chatelain, a Flemish physician, made
this pleasant addition, It is very probable, that the commentator was an
entire stranger to the nature of the Flemings. _Verisimile est
glossatorem ignorasse naturam Belgarum._"
And, perhaps, this argument from St. Augustine's words, is as just as
one of a merry fellow I knew, who would prove, from St. Paul's going to
the Three Taverns[5], That he loved a hearty bottle.
Amongst the Bishops, I cannot instance a more illustrious example of a
great drinker than that of Pontus de Thiard. We are told[6], "That this
gentleman, after having repented of the sins of his youth, came to be
bishop of Chalons sur Soane; but, however, he did not renounce the power
of drinking heartily, which seemed then inseparable from the quality of
a good poet. He had a stomach big enough to empty the largest cellar;
and the best wines of Burgundy were too gross for the subtility of the
fire which devoured him. Every night, at going to bed, besides the
ordinary doses of the day, in which he would not suffer the least drop
of water, he used to drink a bottle before he slept. He enjoyed a
strong, robust, and vigorous health; to the age of fourscore.
[Footnote 1: Thuan. p. 447.]
[Footnote 2: Perron, p. 387.]
[Footnote 3: Petit Nepænth, p. 137.]
[Footnote 4: Liv. i. ch. 5.]
[Footnote 5: Acts, cap. xxviii. v. 15.]
[Footnote 6: Rep. des Lett. Febr. 1687, art. 7.]
CHAP. XII.
A CATALOGUE OF SOME ILLUSTRIOUS TOPERS.
Since, according to Horace's observation, every one conforms himself to
the example of the prince.
"Regis ad exemplum totus componitur orbis."[a]
And that, according to Seneca's maxim, one must regulate one's conduct
by illustrious models.
"Vita est instituenda illustribus exemplis."
It must not be wondered at that people so generally get drunk, since in
this they follow the examples of great kings, amongst whom are very few
that this verse of Ovid, which Guy Patin applied to Naudæus and
Gassendi, agrees with[1].
"Vina fugit gaudetque meris abstemius undis."[1a]
Flies wine abstemious, but the limpid stream,
Pure and unmixed, his thirsty heat subdues.
And, perhaps, this is the reason, why in comedies they bestow crowns to
those that are drunk.
---------- Quid ego video
PS. Cum coronâ ebrium pseudolum meum[2].
And in Amphytrion, Mercury says,
Ibo inter et capiam ornatum qui potius decet.[2a]
"I'll go in and take the ornament which better becomes me." For he had
said a little before,
Capiam coronam in caput, assimulabo me esse ebrium.[2a]
I'll put a crown upon my head, and feign myself drunk.
Lipsius[3] furnished me with these examples.
But I should never have done, if I endeavoured to give a list of all the
kings that got drunk.
-------- "Quorum si nomina quæras
Promptius expediam quot amaverat Hippia mæchos,
Quot themison ægros autumno occiderat uno[4]."
-------- Whose names, if you require,
With greater expedition could I tell,
To Hippia's lust how many prostrate fell;
How many only in one autumn died,
By doctors, and their slip-slops ill applied.
I shall content myself, therefore, to instance some of the most
illustrious, as they come into my mind, without observing any certain
order.
Alexander the Great first offers himself to my imagination. It will be
sufficient to mention his name, without saying any more. _Nomen non
amplius addam._
Cæsar, to make use of Balzac's words, was not always the sober destroyer
of the commonwealth, and he did not at all times hate the pleasure of
drinking.
Cambyses was also very much given to wine, as may be judged by what I am
going to say. This prince, having been told by one of his courtiers,
That the people took notice he got drunk too often, taking, some time
after, his bow and arrow, shot the son of that courtier through the
heart, saying no more than this to the father, Is this the act of a
drunkard?
Darius, the first king of Persia, had these words put upon his tomb:--
Vinum multum bibere potui idque perferre.
I could drink much wine and bear it well.
King Antigonus may come in here. Ælian reports of this prince, That one
day when he was much in drink, meeting Zeno the philosopher, whom he had
a great kindness for, he kissed him, and promised to give him whatever
he would desire. Zeno only answered very mildly, Go and ease your
stomach by vomiting, that's all I ask of you at present.
Philip, king of Macedon, got drunk sometimes; witness what a woman, whom
he had not done justice to, said to him, viz. I appeal from Philip
drunk, to Philip when sober.
Dionysius[5] the younger, tyrant of Sicily, was sometimes drunk for nine
days successively; he drank himself almost blind, and the lords of his
court, to flatter him, pretended they themselves could scarce see, so
that they neither eat nor drank but what he reached to them.
Tiberius was called Biberius, because of his excessive attachment to
drinking; and, in derision, they changed his surname of Nero into Mero.
Bonosus was a terrible drinker, if one may give any credit to his own
historian, Flavius Vopiscus. He used to make ambassadors, that came to
him from foreign powers, drunk, in order, by that means, to discover
their secret instructions.
Maximin[6], the father, drank very often a pot containing two gallons.
One might very well, therefore, have given him this epitaph:--
Hic jacet amphora vini.
Trajan and Nerva, those excellent princes, took sometimes a pleasure in
getting drunk.
Galerius Maximinus, who, according to Aurelius Victor, was a prince of
sweet temper, and loved men of probity and letters, had a very great
passion for wine, and frequently got drunk. Having once given orders
when he was in this condition, which he repented of when sober, he
solemnly forbad any one to obey such orders that he should give when he
should get drunk for the future.
[[Footnote a: Claudian, _De Quarto Consulatu Honorii Augusti_
(VIII) 300.]]
[Footnote 1: Esprit de Pat. p. 22.]
[[Footnote 1a: Ovid, _Metamosphoses_ XV.323.]]
[Footnote 2: Plautus.] [[_Pseudolus_ 1286-87.]]
[[Footnote 2a: Plautus, _Amphitryon_ 1007; _Amphitryon_ 999.]]
[Footnote 3: Ant. Lect. lib. iii.]
[Footnote 4: Juvenal, satire x. v. 220.] [[i.e. 219-221.]]
[Footnote 5: Ælian, chap. 6.]
[Footnote 6: J. Capitolin.]
CHAP. XIII.
OF PHILOSOPHERS THAT USED TO GET DRUNK.
Though the example and authority of Philosophers prove nothing, yet one
must not imagine with Boileau,
"---------------- Que sans Aristote,
La raison ne voit goute, et le bon sens redote."
That reason, void of Aristotle's rule,
Insipid grows, good sense a doating fool.
It is, however, very true, that we shall find ourselves wonderfully
disposed to get fuddled, when we consider that those of antiquity,
for whom we have most respect and veneration, have made no manner of
difficulty to get drunk sometimes, and have praised drunkenness not only
by their actions but discourse. This I am going plainly to make appear.
I begin with the Seven Sages of Greece, who were acknowledged as such by
all antiquity. These philosophers did not look upon drunkenness as a
thing incompatible with virtue, of which they made strict profession.
History tells us, that they drank largely at the entertainment Periander
the Tyrant, or king of Corinth, gave them.
Solon, that famous, yet so rigid, legislator of the Athenians, composed
a song in the praise of wine, in which he introduced Venus and the
Muses. Seneca is of opinion, that he was suspected to be as much given
to wine as Arcesilaus. And M. Chevreau[1] observes very well, that "The
wisdom of Solon was not of such an austerity as to frighten people, when
he said, That the ladies, wine, and the Muses, were the pleasures of
human life."
Zeno, whose philosophy was so severe, got, notwithstanding, drunk
sometimes. Being one day at an entertainment, he was asked how he came
to be so joyful, he answered, that he was like lupins, which were bitter
naturally, but grew sweet after they were moistened.
Socrates, whom the oracle declared the wisest man of Greece, was, in
like manner, a very great drinker. M. Charpentier, in his Life, tells
us, That though he did not love to drink, yet when he was forced to it,
no one could come up to him; and that he had this wonderful happiness,
as not afterwards to find himself incommoded by it.
Cato, that hero of stoicism, got drunk sometimes, in order to relax his
mind, fatigued with the cares of public employment. These are the very
words of Seneca, Cato _vino laxabat animum curis publicis fatigatum_.
And the same author says elsewhere, that "People reproached Cato with
drunkenness, but that reproach was rather an honour to him than
otherwise." _Catoni ebrietas objecta est, et facilius efficiet quisquis
objecerit honestum quam turpem Catonem._ Horace gives us the same idea
of the great Cato, in these words:--
"Narratur et prisci Catonis
Sæpe mero caluisse virtus."[1a]
Tradition tells, that oftentimes with wine,
Ev'n Cato's virtue moisten'd, shone divine.
If one knew the Scythian philosopher Anacharsis no otherwise than by his
apophthegms against wine and drunkenness, one would take him for the
soberest man in the world, but we know very well that his theory varied
very much upon this point, and no way agreed with his practice. One day
above the rest, having got drunk at an entertainment given by Lybis,
brother to Pittacus, he demanded the prize that was to be given to the
greatest drinker. With which action, when he was afterwards reproached,
he replied, "Can a man better signalize himself in battle than by
glorious wounds? and at table, than with that gaiety you call
drunkenness? Did not Homer, the wisest of your poets, make not only
Agamemnon drunk, but Jupiter too, and made nectar flow in full goblets
at the table of the Gods[2]?" Ælian[3] also tells us, that this
philosopher drank largely at Periander's feasts, and alleged for an
excuse, That to drink a great deal was essential to the Scythians.
Plato, another hero of antiquity, not only permitted, but commanded,
that people should get drunk at some certain times. To prove what I say,
one has no more to do than to read his laws.
Seneca, who was so severe a philosopher, at least his rigid precepts
would make one think him so, thought it no harm now and then to get
drunk, and ranges drunkenness amongst the means he prescribes to
maintain the strength and vigour of the mind. I have quoted what he says
in this respect in the first and second chapter of this work.
The philosopher Arcesilaus, who lived about the 120th Olympiad, might be
reckoned amongst those who loved wine, since he died by drinking too
much of it unmixed. A greater, and more convincing proof of his sincere
love to the creature could not be given.
For he that hangs, or beats out's brains,
The devil's in him if he feigns[4].
Xenocrates[5], one of the most illustrious philosophers of ancient
Greece, and of a virtue very rigid and severe, got drunk sometimes.
Ælian has put his name into the catalogue of those who loved drinking,
and could bear a good deal of liquor. Athenæus, says this philosopher,
gained the crown of gold which the tyrant of Syracuse had promised him
that should empty a certain measure of wine. Diogenes Laertius confirms
this last particular. "He had moreover acquired such an empire over his
passions, that a very beautiful courtesan (Phryne) who had laid a wager
she could subdue his virtue, lost it, though she had the liberty to lie
with him, and use all her little toyings to incite him to enjoy her."
You see here (adds Mr. Bayle) a triumph as remarkable as that of
S. Aldhelme, and some other canonized saints, who came off victorious on
such attacks.
Cicero[6] assures us, That Stilpo of Megera, the philosopher, a man of
much wit and ability for the times he lived in, loved wine as well as
women; and, that his friends wrote this of him in his praise, and not
dishonour.
Athenæus says, That the philosophers Lacides and Timon, once upon a
time, past two whole days successively in drinking. Ælian puts their
names into his catalogue of hard drinkers; to which he adds Amasis,
the lawgiver of the Egyptians.
Chrysippus the philosopher, native of Solos, a town of Cilicia, or of
Tharsus, according to others, got drunk pretty often. It is said, That
some of his disciples having prevailed upon him to come to a sacrifice,
he drank so much pure wine, that he died five days afterwards. There are
other authors, however, will have it, that he died of immoderate
laughter, seeing an ass eat figs out of a dish, and upon which he
commanded they should give him drink.
[Footnote 1: Solonem et Arcesilaum credunt indulsisse vino.]
[[Footnote 1a: Horace, _Odes_ III.xxi.11-12.]]
[Footnote 2: Hist. Sep. Sap.]
[Footnote 3: Lib. ii. 2.]
[Footnote 4: Hudibras.]
[Footnote 5: Bayle Dict. Art. Xenoc.]
[Footnote 6: Lib. de Fab.]
CHAP. XIV.
OF POETS THAT USED TO GET DRUNK.
As wine is the poet's great horse, so it must not be wondered at, that
the major part of them fuddle their noses; for, in reality, they cannot
properly be said to be mounted on their great horses, till they have
drunk pretty heartily. These gentlemen speak then on horseback, for the
discourse of poets is quite opposite to that of orators, which Horace
says, is a discourse on foot[1], but when they drink nothing we can only
say, that they are mounted upon.
The attachment that Homer had to wine, appears in the frequent eulogiums
he gives that liquor. And if we examine Anacreon never so little, we
shall find his inclinations, as well as his verses, were divided between
wine and love. As much delicacy and fine turns as one finds in his
works, an honest man cannot see without indignation, but that they tend
absolutely to debauch. One must drink, one must love. The moments that
are not employed in the pleasures of the senses are lost. Pausanius
tells us, that he saw at Athens the statue of Anacreon, which
represented him drunk and singing.
The poet Philoxenus wished he had a neck as long as a crane, that he
might the longer have the pleasure of swallowing wine, and enjoy its
delicious taste.
Ion, the poet of Chios, was not much more sober in respect of wine,
according to Ælian and Euripides.
Horace must by no means be forgotten, whose satires derive from the
grape their sprightfulness and gaiety.
Timocreon of Rhodes, a comic poet in the 75th Olympiad, was a great
drinker. Athenæus has given of him this epitaph:--
Multa bibens et multa vorans, mala plurima dicens
Multis hic jaceo Timocreon Rhodius.
To these we may add Alceus and Eunius, of whom we have already made
mention; but what signifies this enumeration, since it is most certain,
that almost all the poets in the world, of all ages, got drunk, which
puts them under the protection of Bacchus. This made them heretofore in
Rome celebrate once a year, in the month of March, a festival in honour
to this God with solemn sacrifices. What Ovid[2] has said on this point
puts the matter out of all doubt:--
"Illa dies hæc est, qua te celebrare poetæ
Si modo non fallunt tempora, Bacche, solent,
Festaque odoratis innectunt tempora sertis
Et dicunt laudes ad tua vina tuas.
Inter quos memini, dum me mea fata sinebant,
Non invisa tibi pars ego sæpe fui."
This is the day, unless the times are chang'd,
That poets us'd to sing in merry lays,
And with sweet garlands crown'd, promiscuous rang'd,
To thy rich wines, great Bacchus, chaunt thy praise.
With these gay chorists, when my fates were kind,
Free, unreserv'd, to thee, immortal power!
(The pleasing object fresh salutes my mind)
Without disguise a part I often bore.
[Footnote 1: Sermo pedestris.]
[Footnote 2: Trist. v. 3.]
CHAP. XV.
OF FREE MASONS, AND OTHER LEARNED MEN, THAT USED TO GET DRUNK.
If what brother Eugenius Philalethes, author of Long Livers, a book
dedicated to the Free Masons, says in his Preface[1] to that treatise,
be true, those mystical gentlemen very well deserve a place amongst the
learned. But, without entering into their peculiar jargon, or whether a
man can be sacrilegiously perjured for revealing secrets when he has
none, I do assure my readers, they are very great friends to the
vintners. An eye-witness of this was I myself, at their late general
meeting at Stationers' Hall, who having learned some of their catechism,
passed my examination, paid my five shillings, and took my place
accordingly.
We had a good dinner, and, to their eternal honour, the brotherhood laid
about them very valiantly. They saw then their high dignity; they saw
what they were, acted accordingly, and shewed themselves (what they
were) men[2]. The Westphalia hams and chickens, with good plum pudding,
not forgetting the delicious salmon, were plentifully sacrificed, with
copious libations of wine for the consolation of the brotherhood. But
whether, after a very disedifying manner their demolishing huge walls of
venison pasty, be building up a spiritual house, I leave to brother
Eugenius Philalethes to determine. However, to do them justice, I must
own, there was no mention made of politics or religion, so well do they
seem to follow the advice of that author[3]. And when the music began to
play, "Let the king enjoy his own again," they were immediately
reprimanded by a person of great gravity and science.
The bottle, in the mean while, went merrily about, and the following
healths were begun by a great man, The King, Prince and Princess, and
the Royal Family; the Church as by Law established; Prosperity to Old
England under the present Administration; and Love, Liberty, and
Science; which were unanimously pledged in full bumpers, attended with
loud huzzas.
The faces then of the most ancient and most honourable fraternity of the
Free Masons, brightened with ruddy fires; their eyes illuminated,
resplendent blazed.
Well fare ye, merry hearts, thought I, hail ye illustrious topers, if
liberty and freedom, ye free mortals, is your essential difference,
richly distinguishes you from all others, and is, indeed, the very soul
and spirit of the brotherhood, according to brother Eugenius
Philalethes[4]. I know not who may be your alma mater, but undoubtedly
Bacchus is your liber pater.
'Tis wine, ye Masons, makes you free,
Bacchus the father is of liberty.
But leaving the Free Masons, and their invaluable secrets, for I know
not what they are worth, come we now to speak of other men of learning,
who loved to indulge their genius with the delicious juice of the grape.
And here we need not fly to antiquity, which would swell this work into
a large volume, later times will furnish us with many a bright example.
_Non semper confugiamus ad vetera._
A man of learning, after ten or twelve hours daily study, cannot do
better, than to unbend his mind in drinking plentifully of the creature;
and may not such a one say to himself these verses of the French poet:--
"Dois-je mal a propos secher a faire un livre
Et n'avoir pour tout fruit des peines que je prends
Que la haine de sots et les mepris des grands[5]."
Why should I pass away my time in vain,
And, to compose a book, dry up my brain,
When all the recompense I'm like to find,
For all the toil and labour of my mind,
Is the unthinking silly ideot's hate,
And the contempt and scorn of all the great
I must own I would have the indefatigable labour of such a one gain an
immortal reputation after his death; but after all, to weary one's self
all one's life long with those views, is very chimerical. And certainly,
he that makes but little account of the honours that might accrue to him
after his death, acted like a man of sense. _Si venit post fata gloria
non propero_[6].
Is it not infinitely better to divert one's self while one lives, than
to idle all one's life away on poring upon books? Much better will the
following song become the mouth of a man of letters, which I have
transcribed out of the Mercure Galant, of the year 1711, p. 67.
"De ceux qui vivent dans l'histoire,
Ma foi je n'envierai le sort.
Nargues du Temple de Memoire
Ou l'on ne vit que lorsque l'on est mort.
J'aime bien mieux vivre pendant ma vin
Pour boire avec Silvie;
Car je sentirai
Les momens que je vivrai
Tant que je boirai."
Faith, I shan't envy him, whoe'er he be,
That glorious lives in history;
Nor memory's rich fane amuse my head,
Where no one lives but when he's dead.
I had much rather, while I life enjoy,
The precious moments all employ,
With my lov'd Silvia, and delicious wine,
Both wonderful, and both divine.
For that I truly live, and healthy prove,
Is that I drink, and that I love.
This is exactly the same thing that Racan said to Maynard in this
ode[7].
"Je sai, Maynard, que les merveilles
Qui naissent de tes longues veilles
Vivront autant que l'univers;
Mais que te sert il que ta gloire
Eclipse au Temple de Memoire
Quand tu seras mangé des vers?
Quitte cette inutile peine,
Bûvons plûtôt a longue haleine
De ce doux jus delicieux,
Qui pour l'excellence précéde
Le bruvage que Ganimede
Verse dans la coupe des dieux."
Maynard, I know thy thoughts express'd in rhyme,
Those wonders of thy bright immortal pen,
Shall live for ever in the minds of men,
Till vast eternity shall swallow time.
Yet should thy glories, now so radiant bright,
In Memory's rare temple lose their light;
Suffer eclipse, when to the worms a prey,
Those reptiles eat thy poor remains away.
Does this reflection chagrin thee, my friend,
Thus to the useless thought decree an end?
Drink, and drink largely, that delicious juice,
The em'rald vines in purple gems produce,
Which for its excellence surpasses far
That liquor which, to bright celestial souls,
Jove's minion, Ganimede, with steady care,
Richly dispenses in immortal bowls.
So much for poetry, let us come to the point, and instance some learned
men, that have loved this diversion. And first, enter Erasmus, who
certainly was no enemy to wine, since he chose rather to continue where
the plague was than drink water. To prove this, I shall instance part of
a letter written to this great man by Armonius, an Italian, and a very
learned person:-- "Immediately after my arrival in England,
I endeavoured to inform myself where you were, because in your last you
told me, the plague had forced you to quit Cambridge. At length I was
told for certain, that you had indeed left the town, but retiring into a
place where there was no wine, which to you being worse than the plague,
you returned thither, and where you now are. O intrepid soldier of
Bacchus, whom so eminent a danger could not compel to desert his
general!" The Latin having much more force, for the sake of those who
understand that language, I shall take the liberty to insert it, as
follows:-- _Simul atque Anglicum solum tetigi, ubi locorum esses rogare
cepi, siquidem Cantabrigiensem pestem fugere te scripsisti. Unus tandem
sixtinus mihi dixit te quidem Cantabrigiam. Ob pestem reliquisse et
concessisse nescio quo, ubi cum vini penuria laborares, et eo carere
gravius peste duceres, Cantabrigiam repetiisse atque ibi nunc esse.
O fortem Bassarei commilitonem, qui in summo periculo ducem deserere
nolueris_[8].
"Daniel Heinsius loved to drink a little. One day, when he was not in a
condition to read his lectures, having got drunk the day before, some
arch wags fixed these words on the school-door:-- _Daniel Heinsius,
non leget hodie, propter hesternam carpulam_[9]."