I was only jest a thinkin the other day, what werry distinguisht
honner Her Most Grashus Madgesty the QUEEN would bestow on the Rite
Honerabel the LORD MARE, when the rite time cum. But I was ardly
prepaird for the acshal fack!
I reelly coudn't have bleeved it if I hadn't a had it red out to me
from a most respecfool Mornin Paper; so in course it must be trew.
Yes, the Rite Honorabel the LORD MARE is not only to be a Nite, like
other Lord Mares, but the QUEEN has acshally made him a Nite Commander
of the most xtinguisht Order of Saint Mikel, and, not sattisfide with
ewen that, Her MADGESTY has also made him a Nite Commander of the
other most xtinguisht Order of Saint George!
It is fortnit that Sir DAVID's year of offis will soon end, or he mite
have fownd it diffikult to carry out his ushal LORD MARE's numerus
dootys, while Commanding two sitch xtinguisht Orders as them as is
named above.
My Amerricane Friend has turnd up agane at our bewtifool Grand Otel.
He says as they has had orful whether wear he has cum from, but
all the hole week he has had in grand old Lundon has bin most luvly
Sun-Shine, as it amost allers is in Spring, he says he's told. As he
luckly didn't appen for to arsk for no arnser, of course I didn't give
him not none; but I coudn't help a thinkin as how as if he had bin
here in our late hurly Spring, he might ha bin inclined jest a leetel
to halter his good opinyon.
We had qwite a plezzent chat while I atended upon him at Lunch. He
wants to kno more about our LORD MARE. Fust of all, how much munney
he gits; and, when I told him jest ten thowsand pounds for his year
of offics, he xclaimd, "Why, that's the werry same sum as we gives
our President, who, you know, is reelly our King!" So I said, "Does he
find it enuff for him, Sir?" "Oh yes," he says, "quite." "Well," says
I, "it don't seem a werry big salery for the King of such a big plaice
as Amerrikey, when I appens to know that the LORD MARE of our little
Lundon, which is ony about one mile big, has to spend more than
another ten thousand pounds out of his own pocket afore he's finished
his year!" "Well," he says, "you do estonish me; but everythink's
estonishing in your grand old Citty! How do they send him his money?"
I told him as the Chamberlane, who was allers cram full of munney,
took it him every quarter-day. "Ah," says he, "we send our President,
on the 26th of evry month, exakly eight hundred and thirty-three
pounds, six-and-eight pence." "Ah," I said, "I am rayther serprized
as he shoud condersend to take the odd six-and-eight. I'm quite shure
our LORD MARE woudn't do so. I bleeve as he never has not nothink less
than Bank-notes and suvreigns, but allers plenty of 'em." "How many
dinners does he give during the year?" says he. "Ah, Sir," says I,
"that's rayther a staggering qweshun to arnser. Me and BROWN has often
tried our hands at it, but ginerally breaks down about Witsuntide;
but I shoud say sumwares about three thowsand, and about twice as
many lunchons." "Good grayshus!" says the Amerricane, "what a number!"
"Yes," says I, "and so much is they thort on, that p'raps the werry
greatest trubbel that has worrited the manly bussoms of Lord SORLSBUBY
and all his brother Ministers is the mellancolly fack, that they has
bin compelld to decline the LORD MARE's customery Ministerial Bankwet
this year, coz they coudn't tell for serten whether they would be the
Ministers to go to it! And the LORD MARE to drown his sorrer has gone
and berried hisself in the 'art of Scotland!" "What a sad story to be
shure!" said my Amerricane, with a sigh! "Yes, Sir," I replied, "these
are sum of the many trubbels as our werry greatest men has to endewr,
and happy is he who does not quiver when he has his arrow full of
'em!" And so we parted.