_House of Commons, Monday, April_ 10.--"Quite refreshing," murmured
GRANDOLPH, looking round at the Party, to which, as he said at
Liverpool the other day, he is thoroughly attached, "to see how good
Conservatives enjoy CHAMBERLAIN'S Speech. They are as jubilant now as
they were a few years ago, when I attacked JOSEPH in connection with
Aston-Park Riots. A topsy-turvy world; most of us where we never
thought to find ourselves, or be found; oddest of all, surely, is to
hear CHAMBERLAIN of Birmingham enthusiastically cheered in House of
Commons by great Conservative Party. They mean it, too," GRANDOLPH
added, still scanning the beaming faces on the Benches behind. "It is
almost an intellectual delight to them."
"Yes," said PLUNKET, "they are acutely pleased to hear so smartly said
what they think they thought."
Truly a stirring of the sluggish pool during hour and half that
CHAMBERLAIN stepped in. Speech full of bitterness; effect immeasurably
increased by perfect equability of manner, and the utterance of a
voice ever soft and low--a beautiful thing in a man who says nasty
things of parted friends. If one stone deaf had sat in Gallery and
watched JOSEPH, as he gracefully bent over towards Treasury Bench,
whereon sat his one-time revered Leader and the still faithful band of
followers, he would naturally have imagined JOSEPH was complimenting
him and them upon the perfectness of their measure, and the prospect
of the Irish wilderness, under its beneficent influence, blossoming
like the rose. Deaf man would have been mistaken; JOSEPH saying
nothing of the kind; indeed, quite the reverse, as deaf man, turning
his eyes on Mr. G., would begin to suspect.
Wide differences between Mr. G. and J. C.; none so marked as their
demeanour throughout debate. The wilder the storm of interruption
rages round JOSEPH, the more urbane he becomes, and the more
dangerous. Mr. G., standing on the commanding eminence he has
built for himself in the House of Commons, is the sport of most
inconsiderable Member. Anyone, with whatever bungling hand, can "draw"
him. To-night, whilst JOSEPH smiled his way through all the spiteful
things he had stored up for gratification of old friends, Mr. G. sat
restless, with clouded brow, face pale with anger, every now and then
springing up with hot correction. Which was just what JOSEPH wanted to
achieve.
_Business done._--Third Day Debate on Second Reading Home-Rule Bill.
_Tuesday._--ELLIS ASHMEAD-BARTLETT (Knight) back again. "He's Knight
and Morning," said leal TOM SUTHERLAND, of the P. & O., looking on
admiringly from the starboard poop. In a sense this is true, for
ASHMEAD gave us a full hour's discourse last night, and here in broad
day, on threshold of another sitting, proposes to add another forty
minutes. PRINCE ARTHUR had quite a time with him last night. He was,
so to speak, the Boy left on the Burning Deck whence all but he
Had Fled. Right Hon. Gentlemen on Front Opposition Bench, following
example set in other parts of House, cleared out when ASHMEAD appeared
at table with prodigious roll of manuscript in red right hand. PRINCE
ARTHUR looked wistfully towards door, but, remembering leading precept
of OLD MORALITY, determined to stay, and do duty to QUEEN and Country.
So sat it out till midnight struck; Debate automatically closed, and
SPEAKER called on next Order of the Day.
ASHMEAD, pleased with his success, and pondering on fresh delights
in store for House when it met again, remained standing at table,
reflectively arranging his papers. Horrible thought suddenly struck
him; froze his veins, and paled his brow. With generous desire that
country should fully share advantages of House, he had his speech
printed in advance. Copies sent to newspapers. Suppose they printed it
all, whereas he had not found opportunity to deliver more than half of
it! Awakened from reverie by violent tugging at coat-tails. This was
PRINCE ARTHUR, signalling him to sit down, with perhaps unnecessary
vigour. But PRINCE ARTHUR had a long score (fully an hour long) to pay
off.
Great speech finished at to-day's sitting; another hour saw it
through. "I think I had _my_ hour last night," said PRINCE ARTHUR, as,
on rising of his esteemed colleague, he hastily passed out. Example
again contagious; Benches emptied; but ELLIS ASHMEAD pounded
along. There was the speech reproachfully facing him in its
portentous-printed length; must be reeled off, though the glass roof
fell. Did it at last; sat down, flushed, and triumphant. Members,
warily assuring themselves speech really finished, began to stream
back again, till all the Benches filled to hear DAVITT. Excellent
speech; full of human nature; illumined by gleams of grim, humour;
better if it had been shorter by a third; but quality so good, that
House, now crowded, sat it all out.
[Illustration: POLITICAL ECONOMY-AND THE REFORMERS' IDEA OF HOW THE
OFFICIALS SHOULD BE TREATED.]
[Illustration: A Nasty One for Joseph; or, a Gentle Reminder from
Just-in Time McC-rthy.]
"Curious to think," said the _Squire of Malwood_, who just now has
unusually full opportunities for reflection, "that a few years
ago DAVITT was working out the Irish Question with a rope over his
shoulder, dragging a cart of stones through the court-yard of one of
Her Majesty's prisons. No one, casually coming across him at Portland,
would have ventured to forecast the hour when, standing up, the centre
of interest in an applauding House of Commons, he should have had
an opportunity of reasoning with the only occasionally DUM BARTON,
warning him against the practice of treason-felony, and reminding
him that the pathway to the Bench does not lie by way of the dock.
No parallel in politics to the Irish Question. Some of us have our
earlier studies interrupted by a sentence of imprisonment; others, I
daresay, will, later on, find in similar chaste repose opportunity of
reviewing our connection with it."
[Illustration: Mr. D-v-tt says no British Bill can pass while the
Irish Bill blocks the way.]
Involuntarily the eye of the Great Philosopher rested on the graceful
figure of PRINCE ARTHUR, whose speech at Belfast, on the Philosophy
of Rebellion, DAVITT just now cited in justification of the overt acts
that led him to Portland.
_Business done._--Fourth Night Home-Rule Debate.
_Thursday._--"In spite of all temptation, I have hitherto remained a
Member of House of Commons," CHAPLIN said to me just now. "I might
by this time, had I pleased, been a Duke, and my most unscrupulous
detractor will not deny that is a position I could fill with pictorial
effect; but I've stuck to the Commons, and this is my reward."
Truly a striking episode. CHAPLIN delivered oration on Home-Rule Bill
hour and half long. Had sat up night and day with it, polishing its
rotund periods, till, as PRINCE ARTHUR whispers, "CHAPLIN, gazing upon
their surface, saw not himself, but DEMOSTHENES." Fortune favoured
him in opportunity. Member for Sunderland had secured privilege of
resuming Debate after Questions. Resolved to make long STOREY short,
he sacrificed his position. CHAPLIN nimbly stepped in, and reasonably
looked forward to crowning epoch in shining Parliamentary career. To
open or resume Debate between four and five in afternoon is a prized
opportunity; accident had placed it within CHAPLIN'S grasp; the hour
had struck, and here, at the table, was the Man.
Alack, for the instability of human prospects! When the House, fairly
full, beheld the sunny presence at the table, watched it produce the
vaporous folds of manuscript, noted the shrug of satisfaction with
which it set about its self-appointed task, it folded its tent like
the Arab, and, though not as silently, stole away. Trundled and
bundled out, with ostentatious indifference to great orator, the fund
of information he had garnered, the counsel with which he was charged.
CHAPLIN had brought statesmanship and literature of Europe into
review, picking out from encyclopædic stores testimony to destruction
of Mr. G.'s pet scheme. The very names quoted were a liberal
education--Mr. LECKY, Count BEUST, CAVOUR, Dr. GEFFCKEN, M. DE
MOLINARIS. And then interposes the SAGE OF QUEEN ANNE'S GATE with
bland deferential inquiry--
"I beg the Right Hon. Gentleman's pardon, I did not catch the name. Was
it M. APOLLINARIS?"
[Illustration: _M. L-b-ch-re_ (_thinking of Welsh Disestablishment,
asks Mr. Ch-pl-n_). "Did you say 'Mr. Ap Ollinaris?'"]
CHAPLIN stared haughtily over SAGE'S head, and went on. So did
fragments of audience, the latter towards the door, till, almost in
solitude, there rolled forth the treasured peroration. This bad, but
worse followed, when immediately succeeded an obscure Irishman, whom
CHAPLIN vaguely remembers a few years back as a Committee Clerk, or
something of that kind. Benches swiftly filled up, and an assembly
that vaunts itself most critical audience in the world followed,
with rapt attention, the simple sentences of obscure JOHN REDMOND,
Ex-Committee Clerk--this same audience that had scornfully treated the
portentous periods of the Right Hon. HENRY CHAPLIN, sometime Cabinet
Minister.
_Business done._--Fifth Night's Debate.
_Friday._--Prince ARTHUR, enumerating Statesmen anxious to speak
in Debate, doling them out at the rate of one a day, omitted Cousin
CRANBORNE. Doubtless accidental; Noble Lord has his revenge; worked
off his speech to-night whilst ASQUITH addressing House. Consisted
of only single word; effect instantaneous, startling. Into ASQUITH'S
fervent eulogium on DAVITT, CRANBORNE dropped the additional
description, "Murderer." Was only thinking aloud as he explained to
House; just talking genially to himself; regretted he was overheard,
and begged to apologise.
"It's the principle of heredity," said TIM HEALY; "the father calls us
all Hottentots; the son accuses one of us of murder."
_Business done._--Sixth Night's Debate on Home-Rule Bill.
* * * * *