The stare of astonishment with which Grace Fearing met George’s singular
method of beginning a conversation rather disconcerted him, although he
had half expected it. He had asked the question while still under the
impression of Totty’s absurd advice, unable any longer to refrain from
communicating his feelings to some one.
“You seem surprised,” he said. “I will explain. I do not care a straw
for any of those things myself, but as we walked here my cousin was
giving me a lecture about conversation in society.”
“And she advised you to talk to us about horses?” inquired Miss Grace,
beginning to smile.
“No. Not to you. She gave me to understand that you were both very
clever, but she gave me a list of things about which a man should talk
in general society, and I flatter myself that I have remembered the
catalogue pretty accurately.”
“Indeed you have!” This time Grace laughed.
“Yes. And now that we have eliminated horses, yachts, and fashions, by
mutual consent, shall we talk about less important things?”
“Certainly. Where shall we begin?”
“With whatever you prefer. What do you like best in the world?”
“My sister,” answered Grace promptly.
“That answers the question, ‘Whom do you like best—?’”
“Very well, Mr. Wood, and whom do you like best?”
“Myself, of course. Everybody does, except people who have sisters like
yours.”
“Are you an egotist, then?”
“Not by intention, but by original sin, and by the fault of fate which
has omitted to give me a sister.”
“Have you no near relations?” Grace asked.
“I have my father.”
“And you are not more fond of him than of yourself?”
“Is one not bound to believe one’s father, when he speaks on mature
reflection, and is a very good man besides?”
“Yes—I suppose so.”
“Very well. My father says that I love myself better than any one else.
That is good evidence, for, as you say, he must be right. How do you
know that you love your sister more than yourself?”
“I think I would sacrifice more for her than I would for myself.”
“Then you must be subject to a natural indolence which only affection
for another can overcome.”
“I am not lazy,” objected Grace.
“Pardon me. What is a sacrifice, in the common meaning of the word?
Giving up something one likes. To make a sacrifice for oneself means to
give up something one likes for the sake of one’s own advantage—for
instance, to give up sleeping too much, in order to work more. Not to do
so, is to be lazy. Laziness is a vice. Therefore it is a vice not to
sacrifice as much as possible to one’s own advantage. Virtue is the
opposite of vice. Therefore selfishness is a virtue.”
“What dreadful sophistry!”
“You cannot escape the conclusion that one ought to love oneself at
least quite as much as any one else, since to be unwilling to take as
much trouble for one’s own advantage as one takes for that of other
people is manifestly an acute form of indolence, and is therefore
vicious and a cardinal sin.”
“Selfishness is certainly a deadly virtue,” retorted Grace.
“Can that be called deadly which provides a man with a living?” asked
George.
“That is all sophistry—sophistical chaff, and nothing else.”
“The original sophists made a very good living,” objected George. “Is it
not better to get a living as a sophist than to starve?”
“Do you make a living by it, Mr. Wood?”
“No. I am not a lawyer, and times have changed since Gorgias.”
“I may as well tell you,” said Grace, “that Mrs. Trimm has calumniated
me. I am not clever, and I do not know who Gorgias was.”
“I beg your pardon for mentioning him. I only wanted to show off my
culture. He is of no importance——”
“Yes he is. Since you have spoken of him, tell me who he was.”
“A sophist, and one of the first of them. He published a book to prove
that Helen of Troy was an angel of virtue, he fattened on the proceeds
of his talking and writing, till he was a hundred years old, and then he
died. The thing will not do now. Several people have lately defended
Lucretia Borgia, without fattening to any great extent. That is the
reason I would like to be a lawyer. Lawyers defend living clients and
are well paid for it. Look at Sherry Trimm, my cousin’s husband. Do you
know him?”
“Yes.”
“He is fat and well-liking. And Johnny Bond—do you know him too?”
“Of course,” answered Grace, with an almost imperceptible frown. “He is
to be Mr. Trimm’s partner soon.”
“Well, when he is forty, he will be as sleek and round as Sherry Trimm
himself.”
“Will he?” asked the young girl with some coldness.
“Probably, since he will be rich and happy. Moral and physical rotundity
is the natural attribute of all rich and happy persons. It would be a
pity if Johnny grew very fat, he is such a handsome fellow.”
“I suppose it could not be helped,” said Grace, indifferently. “What do
you mean by moral rotundity, Mr. Wood?”
“Inward and spiritual grace to be always right.”
At this point Totty, who had said all she had to say to Constance, and
was now only anxious to say it all over again to Grace, made a movement
and nodded to her cousin.
“Come, George,” she said, “take my place, and I will take yours.”
George rose with considerable reluctance and crossed the room. There was
something in Grace Fearing’s manner which gave him courage in
conversation, and he had felt at his ease with her. Now, however, the
ice must be broken afresh with the other sister. Unlike Mrs. Trimm, he
did not want to repeat himself, and he was somewhat embarrassed as to
how he should begin in a new strain. To his surprise, however, his new
companion relieved him of any responsibility in this direction. While
listening as much as was necessary to Totty’s rambling talk, she had
been watching the young man’s face from a distance. Her sympathetic
nature made her more observant than her sister, and she spent much time
in speculating upon other people’s thoughts. George interested her from
the first. There was something about him, of which he himself was wholly
unconscious, which distinguished him from ordinary men, and which it was
hard to define. Few people would have called him handsome, though no one
could have said that he was ugly. His head was strongly modelled, with
prominent brows, and great hollows in the temples. The nose was
straight, but rather too long, as is generally the case with melancholy
people; and the thin, dark moustache did not conceal the scornful
expression of the mouth. The chin would have been the better for a
little more weight and prominence, and the whole face might have been
more attractive had it been less dark and thin. As for the rest, the man
was tall and well built, though somewhat too lean and angular, and he
carried himself well, whether in motion or repose. He was evidently
melancholic, nervous, and impressionable, as might be seen from his
brown and sinewy hands, of which the smooth and pointed fingers
contrasted oddly with the strength of the lower part. But the most
minute description of George Wood’s physical characteristics would
convey no such impression as he produced upon those who first saw him.
He was discontented with himself as well as with his surroundings, and
his temper was clouded by perpetual disappointment. Sometimes dull and
apathetic, there were moments when a vicious energy gleamed in his dark
eyes, and when he looked like what fighting men call an ugly customer.
Mirth was never natural to him, and when he laughed aloud there was
scarcely the semblance of a smile upon his features. Yet he had a keen
sense of humour, and a facility for exhibiting the ridiculous side of
things to others.
“What do you do, Mr. Wood?” asked Constance Fearing, when he was seated
beside her.
“Nothing—and not even that gracefully.”
Constance did not laugh as she looked at him, for there was something at
once earnest and bitter in the way he spoke.
“Why do you do nothing?” she asked. “Everybody works nowadays. You do
not look like a professed idler. I suppose you mean that you are
studying for a profession.”
“Not exactly. I believe my studies are said to be finished. I sometimes
write a little.”
“Is that all? Do you never publish anything?”
“Oh yes; countless things.”
“Really? I am afraid I cannot remember seeing——”
“My name in print? No. There is but one copy of my published works, and
that is in my possession. The pages present an irregular appearance and
smell of paste. You do not understand? My valuable performances are
occasionally printed in one of the daily papers. I cut them out, when I
am not too lazy, and keep them in a scrap-book.”
“Then you are a journalist?”
“Not from the journalist’s point of view. He calls me a paid
contributor; and when I am worse paid than usual, I call him by worse
names.”
“I do not understand—if you can be what you call a paid contributor, why
not be a journalist? What is the difference?”
“The one is a professional, the other is an amateur. I am the other.”
“Why not be a professional, then?”
“Because I do not like the profession.”
“What would you like to be? Surely you must have some ambition.”
“None whatever, I assure you.” There was an odd look in George’s eyes,
not altogether in accordance with his answer. “I should prefer to live a
student’s life, since I must live a life of some kind. I should like to
be always my own master—if you would give me my choice, there are plenty
of things I should like. But I cannot have them.”
“Most of us are in that condition,” said Constance, rather thoughtfully.
“Are we? Is there anything in the world that you want and cannot have?”
“Yes. Many things.”
“No, I mean concrete things,” George insisted. “Of course I know that
you have the correct number of moral and intellectual aspirations. You
would like to be a heroine, a saint, and the managing partner of a great
charity; you would like to be a scholar, historian, a novelist, and you
would certainly like to be a great poetess. You would probably like to
lead the fashion in some particular way, for I must allow you a little
vanity with so much virtue, but on Sundays, in church, you would like to
forget that there are such things as fashions. Of course you would. But
all that is not what I mean. When I speak of wants, I mean wants
connected with real life. Have you not everything you desire, or could
you not have everything? If you do not like New York, can you not go and
live in Siberia? If you do not like your house, can you not turn it
inside out and upside down and trim it with green parakeet’s wings, if
you please? If you have wants, they are moral and intellectual.”
“But all the things you speak of merely depend upon money,” said
Constance a little shyly. “They are merely material wants—or rather,
according to your description, caprices.”
“I do not call my desire to lead the unmolested life of a student either
a caprice or a material want, but the accomplishment of my wish depends
largely upon money and very little upon anything else.”
Constance looked furtively at her companion, who sat beside her with
folded hands, apparently contemplating his shoes. He had spoken very
quietly, but his tone was that of the most profound contempt, whether
for himself, or for the wealth he was weak enough to desire, it was
impossible to say. Constance felt that she was in the presence of a
nature she did not understand, though she was to some extent interested
and attracted by it. It is very hard for people who possess everything
that money can give, and have always possessed it, to comprehend the
effect of poverty upon a sensitive person. Constance, indeed, had no
exact idea of George Wood’s financial position. He might be really poor,
for all she knew, or he might be only relatively impecunious. She
inclined to the latter theory, partly because he had not the
indescribable look which is supposed to belong to a poor man, and partly
on account of his readiness to speak of what he wanted. A person of less
keen intuitions would probably have been repelled by what might have
been taken for vulgar discontent and covetousness. But Constance
Fearing’s inceptions were more delicate. She felt instinctively that
George was not what he represented himself to be, that he was neither
weak, selfish, nor idle, and that those who believed him to be so would
before long find themselves mistaken. She made no answer to his last
words, however, and there was silence for a few moments.
Then George began to speak of her return to New York, and fell into a
very commonplace kind of conversation, which he sustained with an
effort, and with a certain sensation of awkwardness. Presently Totty,
who had finished the second edition of her small talk, rose from her
seat and began the long operation of leave-taking, which was performed
with all the usual repetitions, effusive phrases, and affectionalities,
if such a word may be coined, which are considered appropriate and
indispensable. As a canary bird pecks at a cherry, chirps, skips away,
hops back, pecks, chirps, and skips again and again many times, so do
certain women say good-bye to the dear friends they visit. Meanwhile
George stood at hand, holding his hat and ready to go.
“I hope we shall see you again,” said Constance as she gave him her
hand.
“May I come?” he asked.
“Of course. We are generally at home about this time.”
At last Totty tore herself away, and the ponderous front door closed
behind her and her cousin as they came out into the purple light that
flooded Washington Square.
“Well, George, I hope you were properly impressed,” said Mrs.
Sherrington Trimm, when they had walked a few steps and were near the
corner of the avenue.
“Profoundly.”
“In what way? Come, be confidential.”
“In what way? Why, I think that the father and mother of those girls
must have been very rich, very dull, and very respectable. I never saw
anything like the solidity of the furniture.”
Totty was never quite sure whether George was in earnest or was laughing
at her.
“Did you spend your time in looking at the chairs?” she asked rather
petulantly.
“Partly. I could not help seeing them. I believe I talked a little.”
“I hope you were sensible. What did you talk about? I do not think the
Fearing girls would thoroughly appreciate the style of wit with which
you generally favour me.”
“You need not be cross, cousin Totty. I believe I was decently
agreeable.”
“Oh!” ejaculated Mrs. Trimm.
“You think I flatter myself, do you? I daresay. The opinion of the young
ladies would be more valuable than my own. At all events my conscience
does not reproach me with having been more dull than usual, and as for
the furniture, you will admit that it was very impressive.”
“Well,” sighed Totty, “I suppose that is your way of looking at things.”
She did not know exactly what she wanted him to say, but she was sure
that he had not said it, and that his manner was most unsatisfactory.
They walked on in silence.
“I am tired,” she said, at last, as they reached the corner of the
Brevoort House. “I will go home in a cab. Good-bye.”
George opened the door of one of the numerous broughams stationed before
the hotel, and helped his cousin to get in. She nodded rather
indifferently to him, as she was driven away, and left him somewhat at a
loss to account for her sudden ill temper. Under any ordinary
circumstances she would assuredly have bid him enter the carriage with
her and drive as far as her house, in order to save him a part of the
long distance to his own home. The young man stood still for a moment
and then turned into Clinton Place, walking rapidly in the direction of
the elevated road.
He had spoken quite truly when he had said that the visit he had just
made had produced a profound impression on him, and it was in accordance
with his character to keep that impression to himself. It was not that
he felt himself attracted by either one of the sisters more than by the
other. He had not fallen in love at first sight, nor lost his heart to a
vision of beatitude that had only just received a name. But as he walked
he saw constantly before him the two graceful young girls in their
simple black dresses, full of the freshness and beauty of early youth
and contrasting so strongly with their old-fashioned surroundings. That
was all, but the picture stirred in him that restless, disquieting
longing for something undefined, for a logical continuation of the two
lives he had thus glanced upon, which belongs to persons of unusual
imagination, and which, sooner or later, drives them to the writing of
books as to the only possible satisfaction of an intimate and essential
want.
There are people who, when they hear any unusual story of real life,
exclaim, “What a novel that would make!” They are not the people who
write good fiction. Most of them have never tried it, for, if they had,
they would know that novels are not made by expanding into a volume or
volumes the account of circumstances which have actually occurred. True
stories very rarely have a conclusion at all, and the necessity for a
conclusion is the first thing felt by the born novelist. He dwells upon
the memory of people he has seen, only for the sake of imagining a
sequel and end to their lives. Before he has discovered that he must
write books to satisfy himself, he does not understand the meaning of
the moods to which he is subject. He is in a room full of people,
perhaps, and listening to a conversation. Suddenly a word or a passing
face arrests his attention. He loses the thread of the talk, and his
thoughts fly off at a tangent with intense activity. As before the sight
of a drowning man, the panorama of a life is unfolded to him in an
instant, full of minute details, all distinct and clear. His lips move,
repeating fragments of imaginary conversations. His eyes fix themselves,
while he sees in his brain sights other than those around him. His heart
beats fast, then slowly, in a strange variety of emotions. Then comes
the awakening voice of the persecutor. “A penny for your thoughts, Mr.
Tompkins,” or, “My dear Tompkins, if you do not care to listen to me,”
etc. The young man is covered with confusion and apologises for his
absence of mind, while still inwardly attempting to fix in his memory
the fleeting visions of which he has just enjoyed such a delicious
glimpse.
Fortunately for George Wood, there was no one to disturb his meditations
as he strode along the quiet street, ascended the iron steps and
mechanically paid his fare before passing through the wicket gate. Nor
did the vivid recollection of Constance and Grace Fearing abandon him as
the snake-like train came puffing up and stopped before his eyes; still
less, when he had taken his seat, and was being carried away up-town in
the direction of his home.
He lived with his father in the small house which the latter still
owned, and in which, by dint of rigid economy the two succeeded in
leading a decently comfortable existence, so far as their material lives
were concerned. A more complete contrast to the residence in Washington
Square, where George had just been spending half an hour, could hardly
be imagined. The dwelling of the Woods was one of those conventional
little buildings which abound in the great American cities, having a
front of about sixteen feet, being three stories high, and having two
rooms on each floor, one looking upon the street and one upon a small
yard at the back. Within, everything was of the simplest description.
There was no attempt at anything in the nature of luxury or
embellishment. The well-swept carpets were threadbare, the
carefully-dusted furniture was of the plainest kind, the smooth, tinted
walls were innocent of decoration and unadorned with pictures. There
were few books to be seen, except in George’s own room, which presented
a contrast to the rest of the house, inasmuch as there reigned in it
that sort of disorder which seemed the most real order in the opinion of
its occupant. A huge deal table took up fully a quarter of the available
space, and deal shelves full of books both old and new lined the walls,
indeed almost everything was of deal, from the uncarpeted floor to the
chairs. A pile of new volumes in bright bindings stood on a corner of
the table, which was littered with printed papers, sheets of manuscript,
galley proofs, and cuttings from newspapers. A well-worn penholder lay
across a half-written page, and the red cork of a bottle of
stylo-graphic ink projected out of the confusion.
George entered this sanctum, and before doing anything else proceeded to
divest himself of the clothes he wore, putting on rusty garments that
seemed to belong to different epochs. Then he went to the window with
something like a sigh of relief. The view was not inspiring, but the
familiarity of it doubtless evoked in his mind trains of thought that
were pleasant. There was the narrow brickyard with its Chinese puzzle of
crossing and recrossing clothes’ lines. Then a brick wall beyond which
he could see at a considerable distance the second and third rows of
windows of a large house. Above, a row of French roofs and then the
winter sky, red with the last rays of the sun. George did not remain
long in contemplation of this prospect; a glance was apparently enough
to restore the disturbed balance of his mind. As he turned away and
busied himself with lighting a green glass kerosene lamp, the vision of
Constance and Grace Fearing dissolved, and gave place to more practical
considerations. He sat down and laid hold of the uppermost volume from
the pile of new books, instinctively feeling for his paper-cutter with
the other hand, among the disorderly litter beside him.
After cutting a score of pages, he began to look for the editor’s
letter. The volumes had been sent him for review, and were accompanied
by the usual note, stating with appalling cynicism the number of words
he was expected to write as criticism of each production.
“About a hundred words a-piece,” wrote the literary editor, “and please
return the books with the notices on Monday at twelve o’clock, at the
latest.”
It was Thursday to-day, and there were six volumes to be read, digested,
and written about. George made a short calculation. He must do two each
day, on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, in order to leave himself Monday
morning as a margin in case of accidents. Six books, six hundred words,
or rather more than half a column of the paper for which he wrote. That
meant five dollars, for the work was well paid, as being supposed to
require some judgment and taste on the part of the writer. There was of
course nothing of much importance in the heap of gaily-bound printed
matter, nothing to justify a serious article, and nothing which George
would care to read twice. Nevertheless the exigencies of the book trade
must be satisfied, and notices must appear, and editors must find
persons willing and able to write such notices at prices varying from
fifty cents to a dollar a-piece. Nor was there any difficulty about
this. George knew that the pay was very good as times went, and that
there were dozens of starving old maids and hungry boys who would do the
work for less, and would perhaps do it as well as he could. Nor was he
inclined to quarrel with the conditions which allowed him so short a
time for the accomplishment of such a task. He had worked at second
class reviewing for some time, and was long past the period of
surprises. On the contrary, he looked upon the batch of publications
with considerable satisfaction. The regularity with which such parcels
had arrived during the last few months was a proof that he was doing
well, and it seemed probable that in the course of the coming year he
might be entrusted with more important work. Once or twice already, he
had been instructed to write a column, and those were white days in his
recollections. He felt that with a permanent engagement to produce a
column a week he should be doing very well, but he knew how hard that
was to obtain. No one who has not earned his bread by this kind of
labour can have any idea of the crowd that hangs upon the outskirts of
professional journalism, a crowd not seeking to enter the ranks of the
regular newspaper men, but hoping to pick up the crumbs that fall from
the table which appears to them so abundantly loaded. To be a
professional journalist in America a man must in nine cases out of ten
begin as a reporter. He must possess other qualifications besides those
of the literary man. He must have a good knowledge of shorthand writing
and a knack for the popular style. He must have an iron constitution and
untiring nerves. He must be able to sit in a crowded room under the
glaring gaslight and write out his impressions at an hour when ordinary
people are in bed and asleep. He must possess that brazen assurance
which sensitive men of taste rarely have, for he will be called upon to
interview all sorts and conditions of men when they least expect it and
generally when they least like it. He must have a keen instinct for
business in order to outwit and outrun his competitors in the pursuit of
news. Ever on the alert, he must not dwell upon the recollections of
yesterday lest they twine themselves into the reports of to-day.
Altogether, the commencing journalist must be a remarkable being, and
most remarkable for a set of qualities which are not only useless to the
writer of books, but which, if the latter possessed them, would notably
hinder his success. There is no such thing as amateur journalism
possible within the precincts of a great newspaper’s offices, whereas
the outer doors are besieged by amateurs of every known and unknown
description.
In the critical and literary departments, the dilettante is the cruel
enemy of those who are driven to write for bread, but who lack either
the taste, the qualifications, or the opportunities which might give
them a seat within, among the reporters’ desks! Cruellest of all in the
eyes of the poor scribbler is the well-to-do man of leisure and culture
who is personally acquainted with the chief editor, and writes
occasional criticisms, often the most important, for nothing. Then there
is the young woman who has been to college, who lacks nothing, but is
ever ready to write for money, which she devotes to charitable purposes,
thereby depriving some unfortunate youth of the dollar a day which means
food to him, for whose support the public is not already taxed. But she
knows nothing about him, and it amuses her to be connected with the
press, and to have the importance of exchanging a word with the editor
if she meets him in the society she frequents. The young man goes on the
accustomed day for the new books. “I have nothing for you this week, Mr.
Tompkins,” says the manager of the literary department as politely as
possible. The books are gone to the Vassar girl or to the rich idler,
and poor Tompkins must not hope to earn his daily dollar again till
seven or eight days have passed. His only consolation is that the
dawdling dilettante can never get all the work, because he or she cannot
write fast enough to supply the demand. Without the spur of necessity it
is impossible to read and review two volumes a day for any length of
time. It is hard to combine justice to an author with the necessity for
rushing through his book at a hundred pages an hour. It is indeed
important to cut every leaf, lest the aforesaid literary manager should
accuse poor little Mr. Tompkins of carelessness and superficiality in
his judgment; but it is quite impossible that Tompkins should read every
word of the children’s story-book, of the volume of second class
sermons, of the collection of fifth rate poetry, and of the harrowing
tale of city life, entitled _The Bucket of Blood_, or _The Washerwoman’s
Revenge_, all of which have come at once and are simultaneously
submitted to his authoritative criticism.
George Wood cut through thirty pages of the volume he held in his hand,
then went to the end and cut backwards, then returned to the place he
had reached the first time, and cut through the middle of the book. It
was his invariable system, and he found that it succeeded very well.
“It is not well done,” he said to himself, quoting Johnson, “but one is
surprised to see it done at all. What can you expect for fifty cents?”