"Higher she climbed, and far below her stretch'd
Hill beyond hill, with lightening slopes and glades,
And a world widening still."
Phillis's world widened daily, like a landscape, which stretches ever
farther the higher you mount. Every morning brought her fresh
delights, something more wonderful than she had seen the day before.
Her portfolio of drawings swelled daily; but with riches came
discontent, because the range of subjects grew too vast for her pencil
to draw, and her groups became every day more difficult and more
complicated. Life was a joy beyond all that she had ever hoped for or
expected. How should it be otherwise to her? She had no anxieties for
the future; she had no past sins to repent; she had no knowledge of
evil; she was young and in perfect health; the weight of her mortality
was as yet unfelt.
During these early days of emancipation she was mostly silent, looking
about and making observations. She sat alone and thought; she forgot
to sing; if she played, it was as if she was communing confidentially
with a friend, and seeking counsel. She had so much to think of:
herself, and the new current of thoughts into which her mind had been
suddenly diverted; the connection between the world of Mr. Dyson's
teachings and the world of reality--this was a very hard thing; Mrs.
Cassilis, with her hard, cold manner, her kind words, and her eternal
teaching that the spring of feminine action is the desire to attract;
finally, Jack Dunquerque. And of him she thought a good deal.
All the people she met were interesting. She tried to give each one
his own individuality, rounded and complete. But she could not. Her
experience was too small, and each figure in her mind was blurred.
Now, if you listen to the conversation of people, as I do
perpetually--in trains especially--you will find that they are always
talking about other people. The reason of that I take to be the
natural desire to have in your brain a clear idea of every man, what
he is, and how he is likely to be acted upon. Those people are called
interesting who are the most difficult to describe or imagine, and
who, perpetually breaking out in new places, disturb the image which
their friends have formed.
None of Phillis's new friends would photograph clear and distinct in
her brain. She thought she missed the focus. It was not so, however;
it was the fault of the lens. But it troubled her, because if she
tried to draw them there was always a sense of something wanting. Even
Jack Dunquerque--and here her eyes brightened--had points about him
which she could not understand. She was quiet, therefore, and watched.
It was pleasant only to watch and observe. She had made out clearly by
this time that the Twins were as vain and self-conscious as the old
peacock she used to feed at Highgate. She found herself bringing out
their little vanities by leading questions. She knew that Joseph
Jagenal, whom in their souls the Twins despised, was worth them both
ten times over; and she found that Joseph rated himself far beneath
his brothers. Then she gradually learned that their æsthetic talk was
soon exhausted, but that they loved to enunciate the same old maxims
over and over again, as children repeat a story. And it became one of
her chief pleasures to listen to them at dinner, to mark their
shallowness, and to amuse herself with their foibles. The Twins
thought the young lady was fascinated by their personal excellences.
"Genius, brother Cornelius," said Humphrey, "always makes its way. I
see Phillis Fleming every night waiting upon your words."
"I think the fascinations of Art are as great, brother Humphrey. At
dinner Phillis Fleming watches your every gesture."
This was in the evening. In the morning every walk was a new delight
in itself; every fresh street was different. Brought up for thirteen
years within the same four walls, the keenest joy which the girl could
imagine was variety. She loved to see something new, even a new
disposition of London houses, even a minute difference in the aspect
of a London square. But of all the pleasures which she had yet
experienced--even a greater pleasure than the single picture-gallery
which she had visited--was the one afternoon of shopping she had had
with Mrs. Cassilis at Melton and Mowbray's in Regent Street.
Mrs. Cassilis took her there first on the morning of her dinner-party.
It was her second drive through the streets of London, but an
incomparable superior journey to the first. The thoroughfares were
more crowded; the shops were grander; if there were fewer boys running
and whistling, there were picturesque beggars, Punch-and-Judy shows,
Italian noblemen with organs, and the other humours and diversions of
the great main arteries of London. Phillis looked at all with the
keenest delight, calling the attention of her companion to the common
things which escape our notice because we see them every day--the
ragged broken down old man without a hat, who has long grey locks, who
sells oranges from a basket, and betrays by his bibulous trembling
lips the secret history of his downfall; the omnibus full inside and
out; the tall Guardsman swaggering down the street; the ladies looking
in at the windows; the endless rows of that great and wonderful
exhibition which benevolent tradesmen show gratuitously to all; the
shopman rubbing his hands at the door; the foreigners and pilgrims in
a strange land--he with a cigarette in his mouth, lately from the Army
of Don Carlos; he with a bad cigar, a blue-black shaven chin and
cheek, and a seedy coat, who once adorned the ranks of Delescluze,
Ferrè, Flourens & Company; he with the pale face and hard cynical
smile, who hails from free and happy Prussia; the man, our brother,
from Sierra Leone, coal-black of hue, with snowy linen and a
conviction not to be shaken that all the world takes him for an
Englishman; the booted Belgian, cross between the Dutchman and the
Gaul; the young gentleman sent from Japan to study our country and its
laws--he has a cigar in his mouth, and a young lady with yellow hair
upon his arm; the Syrian, with a red cap and almond eyes; the Parsee,
with lofty superstructure, a reminiscence of the Tower of Babel, which
his ancestors were partly instrumental in building; Cretes, Arabians,
men of Cappadocia and Pontus, with all the other mingled nationalities
which make up the strollers along a London street,--Phillis marked
them every one, and only longed for a brief ten minutes with each in
order to transfer his likeness to her portfolio.
"Phillis," said her companion, touching her hand, "can you practise
looking at people without turning your head or seeming to notice?"
Phillis laughed, and tried to sit in the attitude of unobservant
carelessness which was the custom in other carriages. Like all first
attempts it was a failure. Then the great and crowded street reminded
her of her dream. Should she presently--for it all seemed unreal
together--begin to run, while the young men, among whom were the
Twins, ran after her? And should she at the finish of the race see the
form of dead old Abraham Dyson, clapping his hands and wagging his
head, and crying, "Well run! well won! Phillis, it is the
Coping-stone?"
"This is Melton & Mowbray's," said Mrs. Cassilis, as the carriage drew
up in front of a shop which contained greater treasures then were ever
collected for the harem of an Assyrian king.
She followed Mrs. Cassilis to some show rooms, in which lay about
carelessly things more beautiful than she had ever conceived; hues
more brilliant, textures more delicate then she ever knew.
Phillis's first shopping was an event to be remembered in all her
after life. What she chose, what Mrs. Cassilis chose for her, what
Joseph Jagenal thought when the bill came in, it boots not here to
tell. Imagine only the delight of a girl of deep and artistic feeling,
which has hitherto chiefly found vent in the study of form--such form
as she could get from engravings and her own limited powers of
observation--in being let loose suddenly in a wilderness of beautiful
things. Every lady knows Messrs. Melton & Mowbray's great shop. Does
anybody ever think what it would seem were they to enter it for the
first time at the mature age of nineteen?
In one thing only did Phillis disgrace herself. There was a young
person in attendance for the purpose of showing off all sorts of
draperies upon her own back and shoulders. Phillis watched her for
some time. She had a singularly graceful figure and a patient face,
which struck Phillis with pity. Mrs. Cassilis sat studying the effect
through her double eye-glasses. The saleswoman put on and took off the
things as if the girl were really a lay-figure, which she was,
excepting that she turned herself about, a thing not yet achieved by
any lay-figure. A patient face, but it looked pale and tired. The
"Duchess"--living lay-figures receive that title, in addition to a
whole pound a week which Messrs. Melton & Mowbray generously give
them--stood about the rooms all day, and went to bed late at night.
Some of the other girls envied her. This shows that there is no
position in life which has not something beneath it.
Presently Phillis rose suddenly, and taking the opera-cloak which the
Duchess was about to put on, said:
"You are tired. I will try it on myself. Pray sit down and rest."
And she actually placed a chair for the shop-girl.
Mrs. Cassilis gave a little jump of surprise. It had never occurred to
her that a shopwoman could be entitled to any consideration at all.
She belonged to the establishment; the shop and all that it contained
were at the service of those who bought; the _personnel_ was a matter
for Messrs. Melton & Mowbray to manage.
But she recovered her presence of mind in a moment.
"Perhaps it will be as well," she said, "to see how it suits you by
trying it on yourself."
When their purchases were completed and they were coming away, Phillis
turned to the poor Duchess, and asked her if she was not very tired of
trying on dresses, and whether she would not like to take a rest, and
if she was happy, with one or two other questions; at which the
saleswoman looked a little indignant and the Duchess a little inclined
to cry.
And then they came away.
"It is not usual, Phillis," said Mrs. Cassilis, directly they were in
the carriage, "for ladies to speak to shop-people."
"Is it not? The poor girl looked pale and tired."
"Very likely she was. She is paid to work, and work is fatiguing. But
it was no concern of ours. You see, my dear, we cannot alter things;
and if you once commence to pitying people and talking to them, there
is an end of all distinctions of class."
"Mr. Dyson used to say that the difficulty of abolishing class
distinctions was one of the most lamentable facts in human history. I
did not understand then what he meant. But I think I do now. It is a
dreadful thing, he meant, that one cannot speak or relieve a poor girl
who is ready to drop with fatigue, because she is a shop-girl. How sad
you must feel, Mrs. Cassilis, you, who have seen so much of
shop-assistants, if they are all like that poor girl!"
Mrs. Cassilis had not felt sad, but Phillis's remark made her feel for
the moment uncomfortable. Her complacency was disturbed. But how could
she help herself? She was what her surroundings had made her. As
riches increase, particularly the riches which are unaccompanied by
territorial obligations, men and women separate themselves more and
more; the lines of demarcation become deeper and broader; English
castes are divided by ditches constantly widening; the circles into
which outsiders may enter as guests, but not as members, become more
numerous; poor people herd more together; rich people live more apart;
the latter become more like gods in their seclusion, and they grow to
hate more and more the sight and rumor of suffering. And the first
step back to the unpitying cruelty of the old civilizations is the
habit of looking on the unwashed as creatures of another world. If the
gods of Olympus had known sympathy they might have lived till now.
This expedition occurred on the day of Phillis's first dinner-party,
and on their way home a singular thing happened.
Mrs. Cassilis asked Phillis how long she was to stay with Mr. Jagenal.
"Until," said Phillis, "my guardian comes home; and that will be in a
fortnight."
"Your guardian, child? But he is dead."
"I had two, you know. The other is Mr. Lawrence Colquhoun---- What is
the matter, Mrs. Cassilis?"
For she became suddenly pallid, and stared blankly before her, with no
expression in her eyes, unless perhaps, a look of terror. It was the
second time that Phillis had noted a change in this cold and
passionless face. Before, the face had grown suddenly soft and tender
at a recollection; now, it was white and rigid.
"Lawrence Colquhoun!" she turned to Phillis, and hardly seemed to know
what she was saying. "Lawrence Colquhoun! He is coming home--and he
promised me--no--he would not promise--and what will he say to me."
Then she recovered herself with an effort. The name, or the
intelligence of Lawrence Colquhoun's return, gave her a great shock.
"Mr. Colquhoun your guardian! I did not know. And is he coming home?"
"You will come and see me when I am staying--if I am to stay--at his
house?"
"I shall certainly," said Mrs. Cassilis, setting her lips together--"I
shall certainly make a point of seeing Mr. Colquhoun on his return,
whether you are staying with him or not. Here is Carnarvon Square. No,
thank you, I will not get down, even to have a cup of tea with you.
Good-bye, Phillis, till this evening. My dear, I think the white dress
that you showed me will do admirably. Home at once."
A woman of steel? Rubbish! There is no man or woman of steel, save he
who has brooded too long over his own perfections. A metallic statue,
the enemies of Mrs. Cassilis called her. They knew nothing. A woman
who had always perfect control over herself, said her husband. He knew
nothing. A woman who turned pale at the mention of a name, and longed,
yet feared, to meet a man, thought Phillis. And she knew something,
because she knew the weak point in this woman's armour. Being neither
curious, nor malignant, nor a disciple in the school for scandal,
Phillis drew her little conclusion, kept it to herself, and thought no
more about it.
As for the reasons which prompted Mrs. Cassilis to "take up" Phillis
Fleming, they were multiplex, like all the springs of action which
move us to act. She wanted to find out for her husband of what sort
was this system of education which Joseph Jagenal could not discover
anywhere. She was interested in, although not attracted by, the
character of the girl, unlike any she had ever seen. And she wanted to
use Phillis--an heiress, young, beautiful, piquante, strange--as an
attraction to her house. For Mrs. Cassilis was ambitious. She wished
to attract men to her evenings. She pictured herself--it is the dream
of so many cultured women--as another Madame Récamier, Madame du
Deffand, or Madame de Rambouillet. All the intellect in London was to
be gathered in her _salon_. She caught lions; she got hold of young
authors; she made beginnings with third-rate people who had written
books. They were not amusing; they were not witty; they were devoured
by envy and hatred. She let them drop, and now she wanted to begin
again. An idle and a futile game. She had not the quick sympathies,
the capacity for hero-worship, the lovableness of the Récamier. She
had no tears for others. She did not know that the woman who aspires
to lead men must first be able to be led.
There was another fatal objection, not fully understood by ladies who
have "evenings" and sigh over their empty rooms. In these days of
clubs, what man is going to get up after dinner and find his
melancholy way from Pall Mall to Kensington Palace Gardens, in order
to stand about a drawing-room for two hours and listen to "general"
talk? It wants a Phillis, and a personal, if hopeless, devotion to a
Phillis, to tear the freshest lion from his club, after dinner, even
if it be to an altar of adulation. The evening begins properly with
dinner: and where men dine they love to stay.
"Jack Dunquerque came to see me to-day," Phillis told Joseph. "You
remember Mr. Dunquerque. He was at Mrs. Cassilis's last night. He came
at two, to have luncheon and to tell me about Mr. Colquhoun; but he
did not tell me anything about him. We talked about ourselves."
"Is Mr. Dunquerque a friend of yours?"
"Yes; Jack and I are friends," Phillis replied readily. There was not
the least intention to deceive; but Joseph was deceived. He thought
they had been old friends. Somehow, perhaps, Phillis did not like to
talk very much about her friendship for Jack.
"I want you to ask him to dinner, if you will."
"Certainly, whenever you please. I shall be glad to make Mr.
Dunquerque's acquaintance. He is the brother of Lord Isleworth," said
Joseph, with a little satisfaction at seeing a live member of the
aristocracy at his own table.
Jack came to dinner. He behaved extremely well; made no allusion to
that previous occasion when he had been introduced to the Twins;
listened to their conversation as if it interested him above all
things; and not once called Phillis by her Christian name. This
omission made her reflect; they were therefore, it was apparent, only
Jack and Phil when they were alone. It was her first secret, and the
possession of it became a joy.
She had not a single word with him all the evening. Only before he
went he asked her if he might call the next day at luncheon-time. She
said to him yes.
"After all these Bloomsbury people," said Cornelius, lighting his
first pipe, "it does one good, brother Humphrey, to come across a
gentleman. Mr. Ronald Dunquerque took the keenest interest in your Art
criticisms at dinner."
"They were general principles only, Cornelius," said Humphrey. "He is
really a superior young man. A little modest in your presence,
brother. To be sure, it is not every day that he finds himself dining
with a Poet."
"And an Artist, Humphrey."
"Thank you, Cornelius. Miss Fleming had no charms for him, I think."
"Phillis Fleming, brother, is a girl who is drawn more towards, and
more attracts, men of a maturer age--men no longer perhaps within the
_premiére jeunesse_, but still capable of love."
"Men of our age, Cornelius. Shall we split this potash, or will you
take some Apollinaris water?"
Jack called, and they took luncheon together as before. Phillis,
brighter and happier, told him what things she had seen and what
remarks she had made since last they met, a week ago. Then she told
him of the things she most wished to see.
"Jack," she said, "I want to see the Tower of London and Westminster
Abbey most."
"And then, Phil?"
"Then I should like to see a play."
"Would Mr. Jagenal allow me to take you to the Tower of London? Now,
Phil--this afternoon?"
Phillis's worldly education was as yet so incomplete that she clapped
her hands with delight.
"Shall we go now, Jack? How delightful! Of course Mr. Jagenal will
allow me. I will be five minutes putting on my hat."
"Now, that's wrong too," said Jack to himself. "It is as wrong as
calling her Phil. It's worse than wanting to kiss her, because the
kiss never came off. I can't help it--it's pleasant. What will
Colquhoun say when he comes home? Phil is sure to tell him everything.
Jack Dunquerque, my boy, there will be a day of reckoning for you.
Already, Phil? By Jove! how nice you look!"
"Do I, Jack? Do you like my hat? I bought it with Mrs. Cassilis the
other day."
"Look at yourself in the glass, Phil. What do you see?"
She looked and laughed. It was not for her to say what she saw.
"There was a little maid of Arcadia once, Phil, and she grew up so
beautiful that all the birds fell in love with her. There were no
other creatures except birds to fall in love with her, because her
sheep were too busy fattening themselves for the Corinthian
cattle-market to pay any attention to her. They were conscientious
sheep, you see, and wished to do credit to the Arcadian pastures."
Jack Dunquerque began to feel great freedom in the allegorical method.
"Well, Jack?"
"Well Phil, the birds flew about in the woods, singing to each other
how lovely she was, how prettily she played, and how sweetly she sang.
Nobody understood what they said, but it pleased this little maid.
Presently she grew a tall maid, like yourself, Phil. And then she came
out into the world. She was just like you, Phil; she had the same
bright eyes, and the same laugh, and the same identical sunlit face;
and O Phil, she had your very same charming ways!"
"Jack, do you really mean it? Do you like my face, and are my ways
really and truly not rough and awkward?"
Jack shook his head.
"Your face is entrancing, Phil; and your ways are more charming than I
can tell you. Well, she came into the world and looked about her. It
was a pleasant world, she thought. And then--I think I will tell you
the rest of the story another time, Phil.
"Jack, did other people besides birds love your maid of Arcadia?"
"I'm afraid they did," he groaned. "A good many other people--confound
them!"
Phil looked puzzled. Why did he groan? Why should not all the world
love the Arcadian maid if they pleased?
Then they went out, Jack being rather silent.
"This is a great deal better than driving with Mrs. Cassilis, Jack,"
said the girl, as she made her first acquaintance with a hansom cab.
"It is like sitting in a chair, while all the people move past. Look
at the faces, Jack; how they stare straight before them! Is work so
dear to them that they cannot find time to look at each other."
"Work is not dear to them at all, I think," said Jack. "If I were a
clergyman I should talk nonsense and say that it is the race for gold.
As a matter of fact, I believe it is a race for bread. Those hard
faces have got wives and children at home, and life is difficult, that
is all."
Phillis was silent again.
They drove through the crowded City, where the roll of the vehicles
thundered on the girl's astonished ears, and the hard-faced crowd sped
swiftly past her. Life was too multitudinous, too complex, for her
brain to take it in. The shops did not interest her now, nor the press
of business; it was the never-ending rush of the anxious crowd. She
tried to realise, if ever so faintly, that every one of their faces
meant a distinct and important personality. It was too much for her,
and, as it did to the Persian monarch, the multitudes brought tears
into her eyes.
"Where are all the women?" she asked Jack at length.
"At home. These men are working for them. They are spending the money
which their husbands and fathers fight for."
She was silent again.
The crowd diminished, but not much; the street grew narrower.
Presently they came to an open space, and beyond--oh, joy of
joys!--the Tower of London, which she knew from the pictures.
Only country people go to the Tower of London. It would almost seem a
kindness to London readers were I to describe this national
gaudy-show. But it is better, perhaps, that its splendours should
remain unknown, like those of the National Gallery and the British
Museum. The solitudes of London are not too many, and its convenient
trysting places are few. The beef-eater who conducted the flock
attached himself specially to Phillis, thereby showing that good taste
has found a home among beef-eaters. Phillis asked him a thousand
questions. She was eager to see everything. She begged him to take
them slowly down the long line of armoured warriors; she did not care
for the arms, except for such as she had heard about, as bows and
arrows, pikes, battle-axes, and spears. She lingered in the room where
Sir Walter Raleigh was confined; she studied the construction of the
headsman's axe and the block; she glowed with delight at finding
herself in the old chapel of the White Tower. Jack did not understand
her enthusiasm. It was his own first visit also to the Tower, but he
was unaffected by its historical associations. Nor did he greatly care
for the arms and armour.
Think of Phillis. Her guardian's favourite lessons to her had been in
history. He would read her passages at which her pulse would quicken
and her eyes light up. Somehow these seemed all connected with the
Tower. She constructed an imaginary Tower in her own mind, and peopled
it with the ghosts of martyred lords and suffering ladies. But the
palace of her soul was as nothing compared with the grim grey fortress
that she saw. The knights of her imagination were poor creatures
compared with these solid heroes of steel and iron on their wooden
charges; the dungeon in which Raleigh pined was far more gloomy than
any she had pictured; the ghosts of slain rebels and murdered princes
gained in her imagination a place and surroundings worthy of their
haunts. The first sight of London which an American visits is the
Tower; the first place which the boy associates with the past, and
longs to see, is that old pile beside the Thames.
Phillis came away at length, with a sigh of infinite satisfaction. On
the way home she said nothing; but Jack saw, by her absorbed look,
that the girl was happy. She was adjusting, bit by bit, her memories
and her fancies with the reality. She was trying to fit the stories
her guardian had read her so often with the chambers and the courts
she had just seen.
Jack watched her stealthily. A great wave of passion roiled over the
heart of this young man whenever he looked at this girl. He loved her:
there was no longer any possible doubt of that: and she only liked
him. What a difference! And to think that the French have only one
word for both emotions! She liked to be with him, to talk to him,
because he was young and she could talk to him. But love? Cold Dian
was not more free from love.
"I can make most of it out," the girl said, turning to Jack. "All
except Lady Jane Grey. I cannot understand at all about her. You must
take me again. We will get that dear old beef-eater all by himself,
and we will spend the whole day there, you and I together, shall we
not?"
Then, after her wont, she put the Tower out of her mind and began to
talk about what she saw. They passed a printseller's. She wanted to
look at a picture in the window, and Jack stopped the cab and took her
into the shop.
He observed, not without dismay, that she had not the most rudimentary
ideas on the subject of purchase. She had only once been in a shop,
and then, if I remember rightly, the bill was sent to Mr. Joseph
Jagenal. Phillis turned over the engravings and photographs, and
selected half a dozen.
Jack paid the bill next day. It was not much over fifteen pounds--a
mere trifle to a Younger Son with four hundred a year. And then he had
the pleasure of seeing the warm glow of pleasure in her eyes as she
took the "Light of the World" from the portfolio. Pictures were her
books, and she took them home to read.
At last, and all too soon, they came back to Carnarvon Square.
"Good-bye, Phil," said Jack, before he knocked at the door. "You have
had a pleasant day?"
"Very pleasant, Jack; and all through you," she replied. "Oh, what a
good thing for me that we became friends!"
He thought it might in the end be a bad thing for himself, but he did
not say so. For every hour plunged the unhappy young man deeper in the
ocean of love, and he grew more than ever conscious that the part he
at present played would not be regarded with favour by her guardian.
"Jack," she said, while her hand rested in his, and her frank eyes
looked straight in his face with an expression in which there was no
love at all--he saw that clearly--but only free and childlike
affection,--"Jack--why do you look at me so sadly?--Jack, if I were
like--if I were meant for that maiden of Arcadia you told me of----"
"Yes, Phil?"
"If other people in the world loved me, you would love me a little,
wouldn't you?"