(_A Story for Little Innocents._)
Once upon the usual time, a poor but comparatively honest woodcutter
dwelt in a tiny hut on the edge of a great forest. Since he was so poor,
his fare was simplicity itself: black bread and a cheese of goat's milk,
washed down by draughts of cold water bottled at a neighbouring
spring--in a word, just those articles of food which your dear mamma has
nowadays to order specially from the most expensive shops.
Well, one winter evening the poor man was enjoying (if you can call it
so) his frugal supper as above, when there came a gentle tap at the
door; and on opening it he perceived upon the threshold a very old woman
dressed in a cloak of faded rags. She was so old and so remarkably ugly
that had she been a duchess not the most inventive of reporters could
have done better for her than "distinguished looking." So the
woodcutter, not unnaturally, regarded his visitor with some suspicion.
"Kind Sir," quavered the old woman, "I perish with hunger. Grant me, I
entreat you, a crust of bread."
"Ah!" said the woodcutter--to gain time. He was, of course, well aware
that there was at least a sporting chance of the old woman being a fairy
in disguise, in which case it would be perfectly sickening to have
neglected so good a thing. On the other hand he knew also that there
were a great many undeserving cases. As he was deliberating, however, he
perceived beneath the old woman's gown the glitter of a white satin toe,
and this decided him to risk it. [N.B. For our youthful readers, this is
an infallible sign for the detection of disguised fairies--try it at the
next pantomime you go to.] "Come in and welcome, Mother," said the
woodcutter, and flung wide the door.
Accordingly the old woman entered the hut, and having done apparent
justice to what was left of the woodcutter's meal, "Now," said she,
striking an appropriate attitude, "behold!" and in the twinkling of an
eye there she stood, the complete fairy, all shimmer and spangles.
"Well!" exclaimed the woodcutter, looking as astonished as he could
manage, "I haven't a notion how that's done!"
"And as a reward for your hospitality," continued the fairy, "choose
three wishes, and they shall be granted."
"I assure you," began the woodcutter politely, "nothing was further from
my----" but a look in the fairy's eyes stopped him. "Of course, if you
insist," he said; adding in rather a different tone, "Perhaps you'll
excuse me for putting the matter on a business-like footing."
So saying, he produced from his pocket a small pamphlet entitled, _On
Transactions with Fairies; with Some Hints to Beginners_. Having studied
this for a moment, "I suppose," said the woodcutter, "that by 'wishes'
you mean without restriction? Not anything within reason, or economies
of that sort?"
The visitor looked surprised and a little hurt. "There is no such thing
as reason in Fairyland," she said stiffly.
"The mistake was mine," said the woodcutter.
"Only one wish is closed to you," resumed the fairy; "you may not wish
to have any more wishes."
"That's a pity," said the woodcutter, "especially as I'd only just
thought of; it."
"An obvious precaution that we were obliged to take in our own
interests. We lost heavily in that way at one time. But consider well.
You have the choice of wealth beyond the dreams of avarice. You can
become the most powerful monarch in the world. Beauty can be yours, or
wisdom or piety. You can--"
"I wonder," asked the woodcutter, "if you'd mind not talking for a
moment? This is a delicate crisis and demands concentration. I think
that first of all," he continued thoughtfully, "I will suggest that you
endow me with perfect and unalterable self-esteem for ever, so that in
case I make a fool of myself over the other two wishes I shall not have
the misery of perceiving it."
"It is done," said the fairy, and at once the woodcutter was sensible of
an inward elation like the effect of good champagne, only more so.
"I'm really managing this rather well," he thought with a smile. "I wish
the foreman of the lumber works, who called me a fool yesterday, could
see me now!"
And immediately there was the foreman, blinking and rubbing his eyes,
and gazing with irritation at the fairy and the woodcutter. The latter
laughed pleasantly.
"That," he said to the fairy, "is distinctly one up to you! If it wasn't
for the gift of self-esteem I should be calling myself every kind of
idiot. But the best of us are liable to error!"
"You have now," the fairy reminded him, "one wish left. Will you desire
that your task-master here be returned to the place whence he came?"
"I will not," said the woodcutter. "If it amuses him to stay, he is
quite welcome. If not, I imagine him to be capable of walking. Let me
see. At the present moment the only wants I can suggest are both few and
simple; a million pounds invested in Government stock, the constitution
of a gladiator, and to be as wise as the greatest fool on earth imagines
himself--these are the lot. But no doubt I shall recollect others
presently."
"One wish only," the fairy repeated a little sharply, "and that without
delay, for time presses."
"You needn't rub it in," said the woodcutter. "I have already made my
choice. Are you ready? Go! I wish to have everything I really want in
the world." He paused expectantly, and even a little apprehensively.
"It is done," said the fairy; but nothing happened.
"That's all right!" said the woodcutter with obvious relief. "I will
now, as an extra, wish both you and the foreman good evening."
Whereupon he bowed them politely out of the hut and returned chuckling
to his hygienic diet. Which appears to show that even in the year Once
men were not always the fools that they are usually represented.
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