I write you now on my knees; imploring you to send my child and the maid
with ——, to Paris, to be consigned to the care of Madame ——, rue ——,
section de ——. Should they be removed, —— can give their direction.
Let the maid have all my clothes without distinction.
Pray pay the cook her wages, and do not mention the confession which I
forced from her—a little sooner or later is of no consequence. Nothing
but my extreme stupidity could have rendered me blind so long. Yet,
whilst you assured me that you had no attachment, I thought we might
still have lived together.
I shall make no comments on your conduct; or any appeal to the world.
Let my wrongs sleep with me! Soon, very soon shall I be at peace. When
you receive this, my burning head will be cold.
I would encounter a thousand deaths, rather than a night like the last.
Your treatment has thrown my mind into a state of chaos; yet I am
serene. I go to find comfort, and my only fear is, that my poor body
will be insulted by an endeavour to recal my hated existence. But I
shall plunge into the Thames where there is the least chance of my being
snatched from the death I seek.
God bless you! May you never know by experience what you have made me
endure. Should your sensibility ever awake, remorse will find its way to
your heart; and, in the midst of business and sensual pleasure, I shall
appear before you, the victim of your deviation from rectitude.
* * * *