CHAPTER XIX.

Dorothy talked a little longer to Effie. When at last she left her, the

poor girl felt soothed and strengthened. She dropped off to sleep, to

dream of the old days when she was living in the pretty little cottage

in Whittington, and when she longed so earnestly to go out into the wide

world. Effie woke long before it was time to get up. She thought of her

dream, and sighed heavily to herself. She was in the wide world now with

a vengeance. Did it look as fair, as rose-colored, as fascinating, as it

used to look in her early dreams? No; the reality was bitter enough. She

would have given a great deal at that heavy moment of her life to turn

back the page and be a child at home again.

The nurses' bell rang, and she got up quickly. Next week she was to take

her turn at night-nursing. She was getting on well, and, notwithstanding

the small cloud which now existed between her and Sister Kate, Sister

Kate knew Effie's value. There are nurses and nurses. Many girls who go

as probationers to the great hospitals are thoroughly unsuited to the

life; their qualifications are not those essential to the good nurse;

they are destitute of tact, of presence of mind, of that tenderness

which can be firm as well as gentle. But Effie was an ideal nurse; her

soft and gentle ways, her kind yet firm glance, the cleverness she

showed, the tact she displayed, all proved to Sister Kate that the young

probationer might one day be a valuable help to her. She was angry with

Effie at present, but she was determined to leave no stone unturned to

help the girl and train her thoroughly in her noble profession.

During that night Sister Kate had thought of Effie. She had noticed her

pale face during the past day, the sadness in her eyes, the heaviness in

her steps, and her heart smote her a little, a very little.

"I don't believe that girl could do anything mean or underhanded," she

reflected. "Of course it is tiresome that she should know any of the

medical students, but I believe I can trust her word that she will never

speak to this young man except out of the hospital."

Accordingly, Sister Kate met Effie the next morning with much of her

old pleasantness. Effie's sad heart bounded again in her breast when

Sister Kate spoke kindly to her, and she went about her duties with the

determination not to leave even the smallest matter undone. Thoroughly

but carefully she went through all the minutiæ of those everlasting

cleanings and brushings.

At last her morning's work was over, and now came the crucial moment

when she must speak to Sister Kate. The doctors had gone their rounds,

the patients were all settled for the morning. Effie came up to Sister

Kate in one of the corridors.

"Can you spare me a few moments of your time?" she asked.

The Sister looked up at the tall clock in the passage.

"Do you want to see me about anything important?" she asked.

"Yes, it is something important."

"Well, come into my private room; I can give you five minutes."

Sister Kate sat down--Effie stood before her.

"I'll try and tell you what I want as briefly as possible," she said. "I

wish to know if I can be spared to go out this afternoon?"

"It is not your afternoon out. What do you mean?"

"I wouldn't ask if it wasn't necessary. The fact is, there's great

trouble at home, and I--I must see my mother, and perhaps I may have to

make another visit."

Sister Kate frowned.

"I don't wish not to sympathize with you, of course," she said, after a

pause, "but the fact is, nurses should detach themselves as much as

possible from home-life. The nurse who really gives herself up to her

splendid calling has to try to forget that she has a home. She has to

remember that her first duties consist in taking care of her patients

and in learning her profession."

"Then I can't be a nurse," said Effie, the color rushing into her face.

Sister Kate looked at her and shook her head.

"I am very sorry," she said, after a pause. "The fact is, I had great

hopes of you--you have many of the qualifications which go to make a

splendid nurse; I won't recount them here. I had, as I said, great hopes

of you, but your words now make me fear that, excellent as those

qualifications are, they are overbalanced."

"By what?" asked Effie.

"By sentimentality--by nervous overworry about matters which you should

leave in other hands."

"I have no other hands to leave them in; the fact is, home duties must

always be first with me. I've got a mother and several young brothers

and sisters. I am the eldest daughter. I cannot let my mother suffer,

even to indulge what has been for a long time the great dream of my

life. It is very probable that I shall have to give up being a nurse."

"How can you? You are engaged here for three years."

"I must beg of the Governors of the hospital to let me off; the case is

a special one--the trouble under which I am suffering is most

unexpected. I fear, I greatly fear, that I shall be obliged to leave the

hospital for a time."

"I am truly sorry to hear that," said Sister Kate. "Does your friend

Miss Fraser know of this?"

"Yes."

"I hope it may not be necessary. As I said, you have the making of a

good nurse in you. You want to go away for a few hours? Well, I'll try

and manage it. Perhaps when you go home and see your people, you will

find that it is unnecessary for you to sacrifice yourself to this

extent. Anyhow you can have from two till five to-day. Now go and much

in train for the afternoon as you can. You can stay out from two till

five. I hope you'll have good news for me when you return."

"I hope I shall," said Effie; but her heart felt low. She had little

expectation of being able to continue the life which she longed to

perfect herself in. At two o'clock she went out, and did not take many

minutes in reaching her mother's door.

Mrs. Staunton looked surprised to see her.

"What is the matter. Effie?" she said. "How white and worn you look! Why

have you come back to-day?"

"I wanted to see you, mother, so I got an afternoon off duty. Sister

Kate was kind--I begged of her to let me come. I have a great longing to

see you."

"Well, my dear, I'm all right. The fact is, I get better and better."

Mrs. Staunton was seated by the window. She was making a pinafore for

little Marjory--her needle flew in and out of the stuff. She was

trimming the pinafore with narrow lace. Effie took it up and sat down by

her mother.

"Your hands tremble, mother; are you really well?"

"Oh, yes, my love; yes! You look at me as if you thought there was

something the matter. Have you--Effie, your looks frighten me."

"Don't let them frighten you, dear mother. You know the greatest longing

of my heart is to help and serve you. If there is anything worrying

you, you'll tell me, won't you?"

"I will," said Mrs. Staunton. She paused and looked at her daughter.

"There's nothing _exactly_ worrying me," she said, after a pause, "but

still I feel a little bit anxious."

"You'll tell me, won't you?"

"You won't scold me, Effie?"

"As if I could, mother darling!"

"Well, perhaps I did a rash thing--poor dear George!--You know how

devoted I am to him, Effie?"

"Oh, yes, mother darling, anyone can see that."

"Well, the fact is, I--I yielded to his entreaties. Perhaps I ought not

to tell you, Effie--perhaps it will displease him."

"Yes, do tell me," said Effie. "There ought not to be any secrets in

one's family. I ought to know--I will know. You are worried about

something, and I will know what your burden is. What is it, mother?"

"I'll tell you in a few words. There's nothing in it, after all. Shortly

after you left us, George persuaded me to put my money into the City

Bank in his name. He said it seemed such folly to have two accounts for

such very small sums."

"You did it?" said Effie, her face turning white.

"Yes, yes, I knew you would reproach me. I won't be reproached--I

won't!"

"I will not say a word, dearest, dearest mother. Take my hand--your hand

does shake so. Now tell me all about it."

"Oh, it's nothing, my love, really, only----"

"Yes, mother--only?"

"Only this morning I asked George to fill in a check for me before he

went to town. He did so. It was for five pounds. He seemed vexed at my

requiring so much, but I said I couldn't do with less, for there was the

landlady to pay, and the butcher has been so troublesome with his bills.

I couldn't do with less than five pounds, and George drew a check for me

for that amount. I sent Aggie with it straight to the bank, and----"

Mrs. Staunton's face became very pale, her hand shook more violently

than ever.

"Yes, mother?" said Effie.

"They sent it back. Effie, with 'No _effects_' written across the back.

I am sure there must be a mistake, but they told Aggie that George had

overdrawn his account, and that they couldn't cash this check--there

were no effects, that was it."

"No effects!" said Effie, her face scarlet. "But hadn't you some of your

money still left in the bank?"

"Yes, I had over fifty pounds. I put the money into the bank in George's

name over a week ago. It was to last us for some time. Oh, Effie, don't

look at me with those reproachful eyes! I feel faint."

Effie got up quickly; she poured some sal-volatile into a wineglass,

and, filling it up with water, brought it to her mother to drink.

Mrs. Staunton was soon better. The passing weakness went off quickly.

"What is to be done?" she said, raising her eyes to her daughter. "Oh, I

am so glad you don't scold me, Effie."

"Of course I don't, mother darling. You must have money, you can't get

on without it."

"That's just what I say. I am sure I am as saving as woman could be, but

the expenses are so heavy."

"Yes, of course."

"I'm expecting George in every minute," said Mrs. Staunton. "He has very

likely put the money back into the bank now. He is doing such a splendid

business that perhaps he drew the fifty pounds--meaning to return it at

once. He has such a capital head for making money--really, I never knew

such a boy. I dare say he has put it back _doubled_."

"Oh, mother, don't you know better?--how can he do that? But now let us

talk of something else. Here's Agnes, that's right. Agnes, will you get

some tea for mother? She's quite weak and upset. I'm going out. I must

hurry, for I've to be back at the hospital at five. I'm going out, but

I'll come to see you mother, before I return to the hospital. Get the

tea, Agnes; don't be long about it."

Agnes put a little kettle on the fire.

"Do you know about--about the check?" she asked Effie in a whisper.

"Oh, yes; don't make a fuss over it--it will be all right."

"Mrs. Robinson says she must be paid--she is owed four weeks' rent, and

she won't let it go on any longer."

"I'll see her when I come back," said Effie. "Now, do take care of

mother. I won't be away a minute longer than I can help."

"Won't you have a cup of tea first, Effie?"

"No, no; I've no time."

Effie ran downstairs, and went out into the street. She felt nerved and

braced now. The moment of indecision was past--the moment for definite

action had arrived. There was no question with regard to her duty. It

lay plain and straight before her.

She happened to know that the Harveys were in town. They were staying in

Eaton Place. She took an omnibus, which presently brought her into the

neighborhood of Victoria; a few minutes afterward she rang the bell at

their hall door.

A man-servant, whom she did not know, opened it.

"Is Mrs. Harvey at home?" asked Effie.

"I believe so," he replied, "but I'm not sure if she can see anyone."

"Perhaps she will see me if you give her my name," said Effie in a

gentle voice. "Say Miss Effie Staunton, please, and that I am anxious to

see her on pressing business."

The man withdrew, inviting Effie as he did so into the hall.

"He takes me for a servant," she said to herself. "Well, what matter?

That truly is only a pinprick."

In a minute or two he returned, with a changed expression on his face.

"Follow me upstairs, please, miss," he said. "My mistress will see you."

Effie followed him up some low stairs--her feet sank into the rich

carpets. The contrast between this luxurious house and the severity of

the hospital sickened her.

"I shall choke if I live here," she said to herself. But then she

crushed all thought of self.

The men led her up two or three short flights of stairs. At last he

knocked at a door, before which a rich curtain hung. A voice said "Come

in," and Effie found herself in Mrs. Harvey's presence. She was seated

in a deep armchair; her maid stood before her, holding out different

rich brocades and silks which had just been sent round for her to see.

"That will do, Carey," she said, when she saw Effie. "You can take all

those things away. Tell Madam Miller that I have decided on this blue

silk crépon, and this rose-colored silk. I'll call round to be fitted

to-morrow morning. Now, Miss Staunton, I'm sorry to have kept you

waiting. How do you do? I am so glad to see you."

Mrs. Harvey was not so impulsively glad as she had been the last time

she saw Effie. The doctor's death--the death he had died for her--seemed

removed into the background; her existence was absorbed in pleasure, in

gayety and excitement. She had an affectionate, kindly nature, however,

and one glance into Effie's sad eyes softened her toward the poor girl.

"Well, what can I do for you?" she said. "How are you? Why, you are a

nurse--you are in nurse's dress--how capital! What a splendid idea!"

"Yes, I am a probationer at St. Joseph's," said Effie.

"Oh my dear child, that's splendid for you, of course; but I trust you

have brought no infection in your clothes."

"No," said Effie, with the faintest of smiles. "I have nothing to do

with any of the infectious wards. I am quite safe. I want to speak to

you."

"I shall be very glad to listen to you, my dear. You know, of course,

that the Squire and I take the deepest interest in you and in your

family. By the way, how is your dear mother, and how are all those

pretty girls and boys getting on?"

Effie could not remember that Mrs. Harvey had ever seen her mother--why,

therefore, should she speak of her as "dear"? and as to the boys and

girls, they were not specially remarkable for their good looks, and if

they were, Mrs. Harvey knew nothing about it. She answered these

conventional inquiries in a quiet voice.

"I hope you'll forgive me," she said, at the first possible pause, "but

I am in a very great hurry. I have promised to be back again at St.

Joseph's at five o'clock, and it's nearly four now. May I tell you what

I really came about?"

"Oh, yes, of course, of course!"

"Do you remember, before I came to London, the very kind offer you and

the Squire made me?"

"Of course," said Mrs. Harvey, "if you mean our wish that you should

become governess to little Freda. But Freda goes to a kindergarten now.

Carey takes her around every morning, and Rhoda goes to fetch her at

dinner time. The life seems to suit her very well. Of course we did wish

for you very much, but as you could not come--oh, no doubt you have

chosen wisely."

Mrs. Harvey yawned; she stretched out her hand and rang the bell. The

servant appeared almost immediately.

"Tea for two," she said, "and be quick, Andrews."

"I can't wait for tea," said Effie, rising. "I am very much obliged. I

only came to say that circumstances would make me inclined to accept

your offer now, but as you don't want a governess there's nothing more

to be said."

"Oh, it's so sweetly good of you, Miss Staunton, and had matters been

different we should have been pleased. Well, good-by, if you must go.

Where did you say your mother lived?"

"A long way from here."

"But do give me her address. I should be so pleased to drive round and

see her some day. Perhaps she would go for a drive with me. What a good

idea! Yes, I'll come. Where did you say you lived?"

Effie had not said anything.

Mrs. Harvey held out her limp, long hand. "Good-by, Miss Staunton. You

know I take a great interest in you," she exclaimed.

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