"You are the comfort of my life, Effie. If you make up your mind to go
away, what is to become of me?"
The speaker was a middle-aged woman. She was lying on a sofa in a shabby
little parlor. The sofa was covered with horse-hair, the room had a
faded paper, and faded chintz covered the shabby furniture. The woman's
pleading words were emphasized by her tired eyes and worn face. She
looked full at the young girl to whom she spoke.
"What shall I do without you, and what will your father say?"
"I have made up my mind," said Effie. "I don't want to be unkind to you,
mother,--I love you more than words can say,--but I must go out into the
world. I must live my life like other girls."
"You had none of these ideas until you met Dorothy Fraser."
"Yes, I have had them for a long time; Dorothy has given them emphasis,
that's all. Dorothy's mother did not like her to go away, but now she is
glad. She says that nothing has made Dorothy into so fine a woman as
taking her life into her own hands, and making the best she can of it.
Before I go, mother, I will get Agnes to learn all my duties; she shall
help you. She is nearly fourteen; she ought to be of use to you, ought
she not?"
"She would not be like you," replied Mrs. Staunton. "She is very young,
remember, and is at school most of the day. I won't argue with you,
Effie, but it tires me even to think of it."
Effie sighed. She bent down and kissed her mother. Her words had sounded
hard and almost defiant, but there was nothing at all hard or defiant
about her sweet face. She was a dark-eyed girl, and looked as if she
might be any age between seventeen and twenty. There was a likeness
between her and her mother quite sufficient to show their relationship;
both faces were softly curved, both pairs of eyes were dark, and the
mother must have been even prettier in her youth than the daughter was
now.
"As I say," continued Mrs. Staunton, "it fills me with terror to think
of doing without you."
"Try not to think of it, mother. I am not going yet, I only want to go
very much indeed. I am going to talk to father about it. I want to have
the thing arranged while Dorothy is here."
Here Effie went suddenly on her knees by the sofa and threw one young
arm protectingly round her mother.
"You do not know what it means to me," she said. "When Dorothy talks of
the full life, the keen interest, the battle, the thrill of living, I
feel that I must go into it--I must."
While Effie was speaking, Mrs. Staunton looked fixedly at her. There are
moments which all mothers know, when they put themselves completely out
of sight, when they blot themselves out, as it were. This time had come
to Mrs. Staunton now.
After a pause, she said, and her words came out even without a sigh:
"The question, after all, is this, Effie: What will your father say?"
"When he thinks it out carefully he will be pleased," replied Effie. "He
must be interested in the profession I want to take up. How often--oh,
how often, mother--has he groaned and sighed at the bad nursing which
his patients get! You know you have always said, and he has said the
same, that I am a born nurse. Won't he be proud and pleased when I come
home and tell him all about the new ways in which things are done in
London hospitals? You know there are six of us, and Agnes and Katie are
growing up, and can take my place at home presently. Of course I know
that father is quite the cleverest doctor in Whittington, but nobody
gets ill here, and it is quite impossible to go on clothing and feeding
six of us with no means at all. I do not think I am vain, mother, and I
do not really care very much about dress, but mine is shabby, is it not?
I think I should look pretty--as pretty as you must have looked long
ago--if I were better dressed."
"No dress can change your face," said Mrs. Staunton, with sudden
passion. "You have the sweetest and dearest face in the world to me.
When you go away the sunshine will go out of my life; but, my darling,
my darling, I won't--you shall never have it to say that your mother
stood in your way. I must think, however, of what your father will say
to this. I can only warn you that if there is one person your father
dreads and dislikes more than another, it is the modern girl. He said to
me, 'Thank God, Effie has none of that hideous modernity about her. She
is fairly good-looking; she does not think about Girton or Newnham, or
any of the women's colleges; in short, she has no advanced ideas.'"
"That is all he knows," replied Effie. "The fact is, I must and will do
something to earn my living. You are sending George out into the world
to win his spurs, and I am going to win mine."
"In what way?" asked Mrs. Staunton. "You know you are not clever."
"Dorothy thinks I can be a nurse, mother. May she come and see you, and
talk it all over?"
"There is no harm in talking it over," said Mrs. Staunton. "But now I
wish you would go upstairs and help Susan to put the children to bed.
You can bring baby downstairs if you like, and I will undress him. Run
along, Effie--run along, there's a good child."
"Oh, yes, mother, I'll go; only just answer me one question first. May
Dorothy come here after supper to-night?"
"What is the use of my seeing her? Your father is the one to decide."
"I will ask father to stay in after supper."
"I don't think he will. A message has come from the Watson people over
at the farm. Mrs. Watson was taken bad with a stitch an hour ago, and
they want your father as quickly as he can go."
"Well, he will be back in time--he won't spend the whole evening there.
Anyhow, Dorothy can come and see you, and if father does come in before
she leaves, well and good. I may run and tell her to come, may I not?"
"Won't you put the children to bed first, and bring me baby?"
"Oh, yes, yes, if you insist."
"I do, Effie; while you are at home you must help me all you can. I have
not had a bit of strength since baby was born. It is perfectly dreadful
to feel all your strength going and to know that things are at sixes and
sevens, and however hard you try you cannot put them right. Dear me,
Effie, I did think when you were grown up that you would stay at home
and be a comfort to me."
"I shall be a greater comfort to you when I send you money from London.
Now, don't speak another word. I will put the children to bed, and I
will look after baby myself, while you close your eyes and go to sleep."
Effie pressed her warm young lips on the older woman's brow, and then
ran out of the room.
There was a large nursery upstairs, where everything at the present
moment was, as Effie's mother had said, at sixes and sevens. The
nursemaid, a young girl of seventeen, was not up to her duties--the
children ruled her, instead of her ruling the children. Effie, however,
could be masterful enough when she liked. She had a natural sense of
order, and she soon put things straight in the nursery. The children
were undressed quickly and put to bed; and then Effie, taking the baby
in her arms, asked Susan to go downstairs.
"You can have your supper," she said. "I will look after baby."
"I thought my missus would like me to take baby to her," said the girl.
"No; I will look after him for the present," said Effie. "Mother is
tired, and she must sleep. Run away, Susan, and have your supper, and
come back here as quickly as you can."
"Yes, Miss Effie; and I am sure I am very much obliged to you. You 'as a
wonderful way with the children, and I only wish I could learn it."
Susan left the room. Pressing the baby's soft curly head against her
breast, Effie began to pace up and down with it. The baby was three
months old; he was fractious and disinclined to sleep, but when his
sister began to purr a soft song into his ear, an old nursery rhyme
which her mother had sung to her long ago, his wide-open eyes closed,
and he sank off into peaceful slumber.
When she saw that he was quite sound asleep, Effie put him in his cot,
drew the cot near the crib where Philip, a dark-eyed little boy of five,
lay, and bending down to kiss Phil, said:
"You are to be baby's nurse until Susan comes up; if he wakes or begins
to cry, just pat him on his back. I am most anxious that mother should
have a quiet time; she is just worn out, and if she hears baby cry she
is certain to send for him. Now, Phil, you are a very clever little man
when you like--I trust to you to keep baby from crying until Susan comes
back!"
"'Es, that I will," replied Phil, in a voice of intense importance. "I
do love 'ou, Effie," he said.
Effie kissed him, and softly left the room. She ran downstairs, and
began to help the servant to lay supper.
No one could look more bright than Effie as she performed the thousand
and one duties which fell to her lot in this poor home. Dr. Staunton was
poor, there were six children, Effie was the eldest daughter; it needs
no more words to explain her exact position. From morning to night Effie
was busy, very busy, doing what she herself called nothing. She was
getting discontented with her life. A feeling of discontent had stolen
over her ever since her eldest brother George had gone to London, to
help his uncle in a large warehouse. For months the dream of her life
was to give up the little duties near at hand, and to take some great
duties which nobody wanted her to do, far away from home. She was quite
prepared for the advice which her friend Dorothy Fraser, who lived all
the year round in London, and only came home for the holidays to
Whittingham, was able to give her. Effie's conscience was not in the
least pricked at the thought of leaving her mother--it seemed to her
quite right. "Had she not to make the most of her youth? Why should she
spend all her young days in looking after the children, and making
things tolerable for her father and mother?"
These thoughts kept swiftly passing through her brain, as she
noiselessly laid the table and made it look charming and pretty. When
all was done, she took up a little frock of one of the children's, and,
sitting down by the window, began to work. Her pretty dark head was bent
over her task; her thick curling lashes lay heavy on her rounded cheek.
Mrs. Staunton, who had been having a doze on the sofa, started up now
and looked at her.
"Oh, Effie dear, I have had such a nice sleep," she said, with a little
sigh; "I am ever so much the better for it. But what have you done with
baby?"
"I have put him to sleep, mother; he is in his cot now, as comfortable
as possible."
"How good of you, Effie! What a comfort you are to me!"
Effie smiled. "I think I hear father coming in," she said, "and supper
is quite ready."
Mrs. Staunton started up from the sofa; she pushed back her tumbled
hair, and shook out her somewhat untidy dress.
"Now let me make you trim," said Effie.
She ran over to her parent, put back her gray hair with an affectionate
little touch, and then kissed her mother on her flushed cheeks.
"You look better for your nice sleep, mother," she said.
"So I am, darling, and for your loving care," replied Mrs. Staunton.
Her husband came into the room, and she took her place before the
tea-tray.
Supper at the Stauntons' was a nondescript sort of meal. It consisted of
meat and vegetables, and tea and cakes and puddings, all placed on the
table together. It was the one hearty meal Dr. Staunton allowed himself
in the twenty-four hours. At the children's early dinner he only
snatched a little bread and cheese, but at peaceful seven o'clock the
children were in bed, the house was quiet, the toil of the day was
supposed to be over, and Dr. Staunton could eat heartily and enjoy
himself. It was at this hour he used to notice how very pretty Effie
looked, and how sweet it was to see her sitting like a little mouse on
one side of the table, helping him and his wife in her affectionate way,
and seeing to the comforts of all. It did not occur to him as even
possible that Effie could carry such a dreadful thing as rebellion in
her heart. No face could look more perfectly happy than hers. Was it
possible that she was pining for a wider field of usefulness than the
little niche which she filled so perfectly in the home life? Dr.
Staunton never thought about it at all. Effie was just a dear little
girl--not a bit modern; she was the comfort of her mother's life, and,
for that matter, the comfort of his also.
He looked at her now with his usual grave smile. "Well, Effie, useful
and charming as usual? I see you have not forgotten my favorite dish,
and I am glad of it, for I can tell you I am just starving. I have had
a hard day's work, and it is nice to feel that I can rest for this
evening at least."
"Have you been to the Watsons', dear?" inquired Mrs. Staunton. "They
sent a message for you two or three hours ago."
"Yes; I met the farmer in the High Street, and went straight out to the
farm. Mrs. Watson is better now, poor soul; but it is a bad case, the
heart is a good deal implicated. I shall have to go out there again the
first thing in the morning. It would be a dreadful thing for that family
if anything happened to her."
"The heart--is it heart trouble?" said Mrs. Staunton.
"Yes, yes! Don't you begin to fancy that your case is the least like
hers; yours is only functional, hers is organic. Now, why have I broken
through my rule of saying nothing about my patients? You will be
fancying and fretting all night that you are going to shuffle off this
mortal coil just as quickly as poor Mrs. Watson will have to do before
long, I fear. Why, Effie, what is the matter? Why are you staring at me
with those round eyes?"
Mrs. Staunton looked also at Effie, and the sudden memory of her recent
conversation with her returned.
"By the way," she said, "if you are likely to be at home this evening,
John, Effie would like to ask her friend Dorothy Fraser to come in for
an hour or two. She wants to introduce her to you."
"She is one of those modern girls, is she not?" said the doctor.
"Oh, father, she is just splendid," said Effie. "If you only knew her,
if you could hear her speak----"
"Well, my dear, don't get into a state, and above all things, don't
learn that dreadful habit of exaggeration. I dare say Miss Fraser is
very well, but there are few prodigies in the world, my little Effie;
and, for my part, give me the home birds--they are the girls for my
world; they are the girls who will make good wives by and by. There, my
love, I shall be pleased to welcome any friend of yours, so ask her
over, by all means. She won't mind the old doctor's pipe, I hope?"
"Oh, no, father!" Effie could not help smiling. She knew perfectly well
that Dorothy thought it no harm to indulge in a tiny cigarette herself,
not often, nor every day, but sometimes when she was dead beat, as she
expressed it. Effie had to keep this knowledge of her friend's
delinquencies to herself. If Dr. Staunton knew that Dorothy did not
consider smoking the unpardonable sin in woman, he would not allow her
inside his doors. "I will go and fetch her," Effie said, jumping up and
putting on her hat. "She is longing to know you, father, and you can
smoke two or three pipes while she is here."
Effie left the room. Mrs. Staunton looked at her husband. "I doubt if
Dorothy Fraser is the best of friends for our Effie."
"Eh!" said the doctor, taking his pipe out of his mouth for a moment.
"What ails the girl?"
"Oh, nothing at all," replied Mrs. Staunton. "Effie is very fond of her,
and I believe she really is a fine creature. You know she is educating
her two brothers."
"What is she doing--how does she earn her living?"
"Oh, she is a nurse in a hospital. She has been in St. Joseph's Hospital
for years, and is now superintendent of one of the wards. She gets a
good salary."
The doctor rubbed his hands together in a somewhat impatient way. "You
know my opinion of lady nurses," he said, looking at his wife.
"Well, dear, make the best of Dorothy for Effie's sake. I hear the steps
of the two girls now. You will do what you can to be agreeable, won't
you?"
"No," said the doctor; "I shall growl like a bear with a sore head, when
I see women who ought to be content with sweet home duties struggling
and pining to go out into the world."
The last words had scarcely left the doctor's lips before the
dining-room door was opened, and Effie, accompanied by her friend,
entered the room.
Dorothy Fraser was about twenty-eight years of age; she was tall; she
had a fair, calm sort of face; her eyes were large and gray, her mouth
sweet. She had a way of taking possession of those she spoke to, and she
had not been two minutes in the shabby little sitting-room before Dr.
and Mrs. Staunton were looking at her earnestly and listening to her
words with respect.
Dorothy sat near Mrs. Staunton.
"I am very glad to know you," she said, after a pause. "Effie has talked
to me over and over again about you."
"May I ask how long you have known Effie?" interrupted Dr. Staunton.
"Well, exactly a week," replied Miss Fraser. "I have been home a week,
and I am going to stay another week. I met Effie the night I came home,
and---- But one can cultivate a friendship in a week; don't you think
so, Dr. Staunton?"
"Perhaps, perhaps," said the doctor in a dubious voice. "I am slow in
making friends myself. It is the old-fashioned way of country folk."
"Oh, pray don't speak of yourself as old-fashioned, Dr. Staunton; and
don't run down country folk, I see so many of them at the hospital. For
my part, I think they are worth twenty of those poor London people, who
are half starved in body, and have only learned the wicked side of
life."
"Poor creatures!" said Mrs. Staunton. "I wish you would tell us
something about the hospital, my dear. It is vastly entertaining to hear
all about sick people."
"No; now pardon me," said the doctor; "you will do nothing of the kind,
Miss Fraser. There are not many sick folk about here, but what few there
are I have got to look after, and my thoughts are bothered enough about
them and their sicknesses, so I would rather, if you please, turn our
conversation to people who are not ill. The wife here is a bit nervous,
too, and she is never the better for hearing people talk about what they
call 'bad cases.' I think it is the worst thing in the world for people
to keep talking of their maladies, or even about other people's
maladies. My motto is this, 'When you are ill, try and see how soon you
can get well again, and when you are well, try to keep so. Never think
of illness at all.'"
Miss Fraser looked fully at the doctor while he was talking. A slight
frown came between her eyebrows. Effie's bright dark eyes were fixed on
her friend.
"Illness interests me, of course," Dorothy said, after a pause; "but I
won't talk of it. There are many other things, as you say, just as
vital."
"Well, at any rate," said Mrs. Staunton, "Miss Fraser can tell us how
she came to be a nurse----"
"For my part," interrupted Dr. Staunton, "I think it is a great pity
that girls like you, Miss Fraser, should take up that sort of life. Lady
girls are not suited to it; for one who is fitted for the life, there
are fifty who are not. If you could only guess how doctors hate to see
lady nurses in possession of a case. She is a fine lady through it all;
she thinks she is not, but she is. Do you suppose she will wash up the
cups and plates and spoons as they ought to be washed and kept in a sick
person's room? and do you fancy she will clean out the grate, and go
down on her knees to wash the floor? Your fine lady nurse won't. There
is a case of infection, for instance,--measles or scarlet fever,--and
the nurse comes down from London, and she is supposed to take
possession; but one of the servants of the house has to go in to clean
and dust and arrange, or the sickroom is not dusted or cleaned at all.
That is your lady nurse; and I say she is not suited to the work."
Miss Fraser turned pale while the doctor was speaking.
"You must admit," she said, when he stopped and looked at her,--"you
must admit, Dr. Staunton, that every lady nurse is not like that. If you
have an infection case in your practice, send for me. I think I can
prove to you that there are some ladies who are too truly women to think
anything menial or beneath them." She colored as she spoke, and lowered
her eyes.
The conversation drifted into other channels. After a time Dorothy got
up and went away; and Effie, yawning slightly, went up to her room to go
to bed. She slept in a little room next to the nursery. Instead of
undressing at once, as was her wont, she went and stood by the window,
threw it open, and looked out. "What would father say if he knew my
thoughts?" she said to herself. "He despises ladies who are nurses; he
thinks it wrong for any lady girl to go away from home; but I am
going--yes, I am going to London. Dorothy is my friend. She is about
the grandest, noblest creature I ever met, and I am going to follow in
her steps. Mother will consent in the end--mother will see that I cannot
throw away my life. Dear mother! I shall miss her and father awfully,
but, all the same, I shall be delighted to go. I do want to get out of
this narrow, narrow life; I do want to do something big and grand. Oh,
Dorothy, how splendid you are! How strong you look! How delightful it is
to feel that one can live a life like yours, and do good, and be loved
by all! Oh, Dorothy, I hope I shall be able to copy you! I hope----"
Effie's eager thoughts came to a sudden stop. A tall dog-cart dashed
down the street and pulled up short at her father's door. A young man in
a Norfolk suit jumped out, threw the horse's reins to his groom, and
pulled the doctor's bell furiously. Effie leaned slightly out of her
window in order to see who it was. She recognized the man who stood on
the doorstep with a start of surprise, and the color flew into her face.
He was the young Squire of the neighborhood. His name was Harvey. His
place was two miles out of Whittington. He was married; his wife was the
most beautiful woman Effie had ever seen; and he had one little girl.
The Harveys were rich and proud; they spent the greater part of their
time in London, and had never before condescended to consult the village
doctor. What was the matter now? Effie rushed from her room and knocked
furiously at her father's door.
"Father, do you hear the night-bell? Are you getting up?" she called.
"Yes, child, yes," answered the doctor.
The bell downstairs kept on ringing at intervals. Effie stood trembling
on the landing; she felt positively sure that something dreadful must
have happened.
"May I go down stairs and say you are coming, father?" she called again
through the key-hole.
"Yes, I wish you would. Say I will be downstairs in a minute."
Effie ran off; she took the chain off the heavy hall door and threw it
open.
"Is Dr. Staunton in?" asked the Squire. He stared at Effie's white
trembling face. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair in disorder; he looked
like a man who is half distracted.
"Yes," said Effie, in as soothing a voice as she could assume; "my
father will be down in a minute."
Harvey took off his cap.
"You are Miss Staunton, I presume? Pray ask your father to be as quick
as possible. My little girl is ill--very ill. We want a doctor to come
to The Grange without a moment's delay."
"All right, Squire; here I am," said the hearty voice of Dr. Staunton on
the stairs.
The Squire shook hands with him, made one or two remarks in too low a
voice for Effie to hear, sprang into his dog-cart, the doctor scrambled
up by his side, and a moment later the two had disappeared. Effie stood
by the open hall door looking up and down the quiet village street. The
great man of the place had come and gone like a flash. The thing Mrs.
Staunton had longed for, dreamed of, and almost prayed for, had come to
pass at last--her husband was sent for to The Grange. Effie wondered if
Fortune were really turning her wheel, and if, from this date they would
be better off than they had been.
Dorothy Fraser's people lived in the house nearly opposite. From where
Effie stood she could see a light still burning in her friend's window.
The thought of Dorothy raised the girl's state of excitement almost to
fever pitch. She longed to go over and see her friend; she knew she must
not do that, however. She shut the hall door, and went slowly back to
her bedroom. She wanted to sleep, but sleep was far away. She lay
listening during the long hours of the summer night, and heard hour
after hour strike from the church clock close by. Between two and three
in the morning she dropped off into a troubled doze. She awoke in broad
daylight, to start to her feet and see her father standing in the room.
"Get up, Effie," he said. "I want you; dress yourself as quickly as you
can."
There was an expression about his face which prevented Effie's uttering
a word. She scrambled into her clothes--he waited for her on the
landing. When she was dressed he took her hand and went softly down
through the house.
"I do not want your mother to be disturbed," he said. "There is a very
bad case of illness at The Grange."
"What is it, father?" asked Effie.
"Well, I fear that it is a complication of scarlet fever and diphtheria.
The child will have an awful fight for her life, and at the present
moment I am afraid the odds are terribly against her."
"Oh, father, and she is the only child!" said Effie.
"Yes, yes, I know all that; but there is no use in going into sentiment
just now--the thing is to pull her through if possible. Now, look here:
I can send to London, of course, for a nurse, but she would not arrive
for several hours--do you think your friend Miss Fraser would undertake
the case?"
"Yes, I am sure she would," said Effie.
"That's just like you women," said the doctor impatiently; "you jump to
conclusions without knowing anything at all about the matter. The
child's case is horribly infectious. In fact, I shall be surprised if
the illness does not run right through the house. The mother has been
sitting up with this baby day and night for the last week, and they were
so silly they never sent for a doctor, imagining that the awful state of
the throat was due to hoarseness, and that the rash was what they were
pleased to call 'spring heat.' The folly of some people is enough to
drive any reasonable man to despair. They send for the doctor, forsooth,
when the child is almost in the grip of death! I have managed to relieve
her a bit during the night, but I must have the services of a good nurse
at once. Go over and awake Miss Fraser, Effie, and bring her to see me.
If she has the pluck she gave me to understand she had, she will come in
as a stop-gap until I get somebody else. And now, look here: the case is
so infectious, and your mother is so weak just now, that I am going to
devote myself altogether to it for the next few days. I am going to take
up my abode at The Grange, and I shall wire to my old friend Edwards to
look after the rest of my patients. There are only half a dozen to be
seen to, and he will keep them quiet until I am free again. Now go over
and bring Miss Fraser for me to see. I have driven down on the Squire's
dog-cart, and will take her back with me if she will come. Run along,
Effie, and wake her up."