MRS. LORIMER STACKWORTHY is busy with a new life of one of our earliest
Queens, BOADICEA, based on contemporary documents and family papers,
many of which are in cipher. The publishers, (SPORLE AND MUSSITT) will
be glad to hear of an authentic portrait of the subject of MRS.
STACKWORTHY's interesting monograph.
The article, in the _Pedantic Review_, on "Pies and Puddings," which has
caused such a stir in literary and culinary circles, bears strong
internal evidence of the practised pen of PROFESSOR PORRINGER. That on
"Extraordinary Ebullitions," in the _Impartialist_, is understood to
emanate from DR. JULIUS TEEZER.
JEWINI'S great classic Opera--_La Vecchia Madre Ubardio_--will be
revived next season at La Scala.
A new weekly periodical is announced. It will be printed, published,
edited, written, illustrated, stitched, and sold exclusively by women,
and the type, ink, and paper, will be supplied by manufacturers who
employ none but female artificers. Men will not be allowed to interfere
with this journal in any way, except as purchasers. The title is
_Superior Wisdom_.
SIGNOR ZAFFERANO-COLLINA has resumed his (open air) Organ performances
on Campden Hill. The Signor's _repertoire_ has not received any
accession during the recess.
In the course of the ensuing season, MESSRS. BRANE AND BOOKER will bring
to the hammer the valuable Library formed by the late JONATHAN BELL
DIVER, M.A., F.A.S., F.E.L.S. It is remarkably rich in nursery rhymes,
cookery books, gipsyana, and treatises on dentistry and fireworks, and
includes a unique series of privately printed publications relating to
the County of Rutland.
The result of more extended investigations goes to prove that the
_Octopus_ will not attack man, except in defence of its religion.
MR. GRANBY FUSSFORTH has completed his arrangements for the delivery of
a course of Six Lectures on "Winds and Windfalls," in the North of
London. He will afterwards make a tour through Lambeth, Surrey,
Southwark, and the Tower Hamlets, and will probably conclude his labours
in the Old Kent Road.
Telegrams from Trebizond say that MADAME CORALIA VOLANTI has created a
perfect _furore_ there, by her extraordinary performances on the high
rope.
_Bertha's Black Box_ is the title of a new Serial Story, by a popular
and prolific writer, to be commenced in an early number of _Alsatia_. It
will be illustrated by BANNOCKS.
MR. WYCHERLEY BIBB has a farcical comedy in preparation which will be
produced at the "Sheridan" in the course of the season. The plot turns
on one of the principal characters mistaking a private mansion for an
hotel. FACEY SMILES has a wonderful part in it.
MR. SALVATOR ROSE, R.A., is working hard to get all his pictures ready
for the forthcoming Royal Academy Exhibition. Perhaps, the most striking
is a scene from SMITH'S _Classical Dictionary_, in which AGAMEMNON is
represented as blowing a kiss, across the Prytaneum, to CLYTEMNESTRA,
who is pacing the Bema, in the absence of her guardian on a secret
expedition. AEGISTHUS appears in the background, detained by some law
business, and the Chorus is endeavouring to convince him that he is in
the wrong. This powerful painting, with its subtle _nuances_, its
harmonious play of light and shade, its truthful rendering of the
Piraeus, and the splendid drawing of the Chorus's left leg, will carry
conviction to all who can reverence a conscientious manipulation of
another of the grand old trilogies of the Athenian stage.
The new metal, Fluozinium, is steadily making its way against the
current of scientific prejudice. It has been discovered in almost
limitless quantities in conjunction with tufa and haematite; and the most
delicate persons may inhale its fumes with perfect safety. In specific
gravity Fluozinium is superior both to nickel and cobalt; it will ignite
nowhere but on the box, and not often there; and for porosity,
frangibility, and opalescence, no metal in our time has approached it.
The Dryrot Society have at the present time two more volumes of unusual
interest ready for their subscribers, who, it must be said, regretfully,
are much in arrear with their subscriptions. One is the Foundation
Deeds, in abbreviated Latin, of the Monastery of St. Kilda, in
Kincardineshire, dating as far back as the fourteenth century; the
other, a list of all persons holding _in capite_ a carucate of land and
upwards, who were in fief to the Crown in the Border Wars. A few copies
will be struck off on large paper, and six on vellum.
* * * * *
=THE SPEAKER-ELECT.=
[Illustration: T]HE details supplied by the newspapers give but an
inadequate idea of the interesting rites and ceremonies which cluster
round the election of a new SPEAKER, and have been observed, with
undeviating fidelity, since those early times, when the original SPEAKER
received the sanction of his Sovereign under the shade of the
"Parliament Oak" in "Merry Sherwood."
From the first moment that he gets a post-card informing him he is to be
proposed to the House for the vacant Chair, the SPEAKER-designate gives
up the sports of the field, dinner company, and all other pleasures and
amusements, and devotes himself, night and day, to the perusal of the
journals of the House of Commons, the investigation of the Standing
Orders, and the study of the Constitutional History of England,
Parliamentary precedents and privileges, and the Biographies of his
predecessors.
He reads a fixed portion of _Hansard_ every morning and evening.
He sees no one but the Clerk of the House and his Assistants, who call
to give him daily private tuition.
He forms a collection of the photographs of all the Members, that his
recognition of them may be immediate and unerring.
During the week before the meeting of Parliament he visits all his old
haunts for the last time, and takes leave of his friends, with whom, of
course, as First Commoner, he can never again mix on the same familiar
terms.
The day before his election he has his hair cut.
On the eve of the great event he retires to rest early, and on the
morning of the most momentous day in his life he rises with the first
streak of dawn in the east, and paces to and fro on Constitution Hill,
to collect his thoughts and prepare his speech.
The Sergeant-at-Arms conveys him, attired in a full Court suit to
Westminster, in a close carriage, with the blinds drawn down, and
remains with him in a vault in the Victoria Tower, where he is provided
with the daily papers, writing materials, and refreshments, until his
proposer and seconder arrive to conduct him into the House. (There is a
large looking-glass in the vault, before which he tries on his wig and
gown, with the experienced aid of the Sergeant.)
The subsequent proceedings are pretty much as the papers have described
them, except that the Proposer and Seconder wear nosegays, and carry
halberds; and that the SPEAKER stands up before he takes his seat in the
chair, which is draped with the Union Jack, brandishes the Mace (decked
with ribbons for the occasion) three times round his head, and in a loud
voice, and in Norman French, invites the whole of the officers of the
House to dine with him that evening at the Albion at seven.
* * * * *
[Illustration: INTERESTING DEVOTEES.
_Theresa._ "NO, CHARLES--NEVER! I HAVE LONG DETERMINED TO DEVOTE MY LIFE
TO CHARITY; IN FACT, TO BECOME A SISTER IN AN ANGLICAN NUNNERY."
_Charles._ "WELL, IF YOU DO, I'LL BURY MYSELF FOR THE REST OF MY
MISERABLE DAYS IN A--IN A--A MONKERY!"]
* * * * *
=JOLLY WET.=
HOORAY! It rains, it pelts, it pours,
At work I shall be free from bores,
Who call and stay. The storm that roars,
The wet, will keep them all in-doors.
I've but to dread the Postman's knock,
A sharp but momentary shock,
I'll hope that it may bring no worse,
Than some attempt upon my purse.
Prospectus, Circular, or Puff,
Into the fire just won't I stuff,
And smile, as to myself I say,
"That postage-stamp is thrown away!"
* * * * *