PARIS, _November 16, 1843_.
I can see you now in imagination with the expression you wear sometimes;
the expression of your bad days, I mean. I fear that you are not only
cross with me, but also that you have taken cold. Relieve my mind at
once on these two points. You were so kind and gracious that I could
forgive you, I think, even a return of your bad humour, if you would but
tell me that our walk did you no harm. I have slept almost all day, in
that condition of semi-unconsciousness that you like. This cold weather
is most discouraging. There used to be Martinmas summer, which was some
consolation for the death of the leaves, but I fear that this has passed
away, like so many of the things of my youth.
Write to me, dear friend. Tell me that you are well, and that my
grumbling has not vexed you. You will not correct me of this fault. If I
were not accustomed to think aloud when I am with you, I should be
almost tempted to be angry always, because you are then so sweet that
one can not regret having caused you sorrow. However, I will think only
of the moments when our thoughts were in accord, and when it seemed to
me that you forgot my plaguing and your own pride.
Your letter has just been delivered to me. I thank you most heartily for
it. You are just as kind and charming, as you were day before yesterday,
and this is doubly appreciated, for the pleasant things that you say I
know are sincere, and are not dictated by any fear of my anger. If you
only realised the delight I take in one word of yours that comes from
the heart, you would be less stingy of them. I hope your present mood
may continue.
I suppose you enjoyed yourself tremendously at your ball last night. I
went to the Opera. Ranconi was either drunk or imprisoned for debt, so
it was proposed to shut the doors against us. At last, however, after
continued protests on our part, they gave us “The Elixir of Love.” I
then returned, and corrected proofs until three o’clock in the morning.
So you fancy that the Academy fills my thoughts? I find this is the
first thought I have given to it to-day. There is but scant chance of
success there. Do you know of any witchcraft that will draw my name out
of the pine coffer known as a ballot-box?