Are they not all ministering spirits, sent forth to minister for them
who shall be heirs of salvation?--Heb. 1: 14.
How oft do they their silver bowers leave,
To come to succor us that succor want!
How oft do they with golden pinions cleave
The flitting skyes, like flying pursuivant,
Against fowle feendes to ayd us militant!
They for us fight, they watch, and dewly ward,
And their bright squadrons round about us plant.
And all for love, and nothing for reward;
O why should heavenly God to men have such regard!
--[Edmund Spenser.
When I aroused from my sleep it was in the gray light of earth's
morning, and I was standing on the doorstep of the house in Kentville
that my brother and I had left together, some thirty-six hours before,
reckoned by earth-time. I shuddered a little with a strange chill when
I saw where we were, and turned quickly to my brother Frank, who stood
beside me. He put his arm about me, and with a reassuring smile, said:
"For their sakes be brave and strong, and try to make them understand
your blessed change."
I did not try to answer, though I took heart, and entered with him into
the house. Everything was very quiet--no one seemed astir. My brother
softly opened a door immediately to the right of the entrance, and
motioned me to enter. I did so, and he closed it behind me, remaining
himself outside.
Something stood in the center of the room, and I soon discovered that
it was a pall. It was a great relief to me to see that it was not
black, but a soft shade of gray. Someone was kneeling beside it, and
as I slowly approached I saw it was my dear son. He was kneeling upon
one knee, with his elbow resting on the other knee, and his face buried
in his hand. One arm was thrown across the casket, as though he were
taking a last embrace of his "little mother." I saw that the form
within the casket lay as though peacefully sleeping, and was clad in
silver gray, with soft white folds about the neck and breast. I was
grateful that they had remembered my wishes so well.
I put my arms about the neck of my darling son, and drew his head
gently against my breast, resting my cheek upon his bowed head. Then I
whispered, "Dearest, I am here beside you--living, breathing, strong
and well. Will you not turn to me, instead of to that lifeless form in
the casket? It is only the worn-out tenement--I am your living mother."
He lifted his head as though listening; then, laying his hand tenderly
against the white face in the casket he whispered, "Poor, dear little
mother!" and again dropped his face into both hands, while his form
shook with convulsive sobs.
As I strove to comfort him, the door opened and his lovely girl-wife
entered. I turned to meet her as she came slowly towards us. Midway
in the room we met, and, taking both her hands tenderly in mine, I
whispered, "Comfort him, darling girl, as only you can; he needs human
love."
She paused a moment irresolutely, looking directly into my eyes, then
passed on and knelt beside him, laying her upturned face against his
shoulder. I saw his arm steal around her and draw her closely to him,
then I passed from the room, feeling comforted that they were together.
Outside the door I paused an instant, then, slowly ascending the
stairs, I entered the once familiar room, whose door was standing ajar.
All remained as when I had left it, save that no still form lay upon
the white bed. As I expected, I found my precious husband in this
room. He sat near the bay window, his arm resting upon the table, and
his eyes bent sorrowfully upon the floor. My heart's best friend sat
near him and seemed trying to comfort him. When I entered the room our
brother Frank arose from a chair close beside him and passed out, with
a sympathetic look at me. I went at once to my dear husband, put my
arms about him, and whispered:
"Darling! darling, I am here!"
He stirred restlessly without changing his position. Virginia said, as
though continuing a conversation, "I am sure she would say you left
nothing undone that could possibly be done for her."
"She is right," I whispered.
"Still she was alone at the last," he moaned.
"Yes, dear, but who could know it was the last? She sank so suddenly
under the pain. What can I say to comfort you? Oh, Will, come home
with us! She would want you to, I am sure."
He shook his head sadly, while the tears were in his eyes, as he said:
"Work is my only salvation. I must go back in a very few days."
She said no more, and he leaned back wearily in his easy-chair. I
crept more closely to him and suddenly his arms closed about me. I
whispered, "There, dear, do you not see that I am really with you?"
He was very still, and the room was very quiet but for the ticking of
my little clock still standing upon the dressing-case. Presently I
knew by his regular breathing that he had found a short respite from
his sorrow. I slipped gently from his arms and went to my friend,
kneeling beside her, and folding my arms about her.
"Virginia, Virginia! You know I am not dead! Why do you grieve?"
She looked over at the worn face of the man before her, then dropped
her face into her hand, whispering, as though she had heard me and
would answer:
"Oh, Bertha darling, how could you leave him?"
"I am here, dearest! Do realize that I am here!"
She did not heed me, but sat absorbed in sorrowful thought.
A few minutes later a stranger entered the room, and in a low voice
said something about its being "near train time," and brought my
husband his hat. He arose and gave his arm to Virginia, and, our son
and his wife meeting them at the door, they started to descend the
stairs. Just then my husband paused and cast one sorrowful glance
around the room, his face white with pain. Our dear daughter stepped
quickly to him, and, placing both arms about his neck, drew his face
down to hers. ("God bless her in all things!" I softly prayed.) An
instant they stood thus, then stifling his emotion, they all passed
down the stairs into the room I had first entered.
I kept very close to my dear husband, and never for a single instant
left him through all the solemn and impressive services; through the
sad journey to our old home; the last rites at the grave; the
after-meeting with friends; and his final return to the weary routine
of labor. How thankful I was that I had been permitted to taste,
during that wonderful day in heaven, the joys of the blessed life! How
else could I ever have passed calmly through those trying scenes, and
witnessed the sorrow of those so dear to my heart? I recognize the
wisdom and mercy of the Father in having so ordered it.
I soon found that my husband was right; work was his great refuge.
During the day the routine of labor kept brain and hands busy, leaving
the heart but little opportunity to indulge its sorrow. Night was his
trying time. Kind friends would stay with him till bedtime; after that
he was alone. He would turn restlessly on his pillow, and often arise
and go into the adjoining room that had formerly been mine, and gaze
upon the vacant bed with tearful eyes. It took all my powers to in any
degree soothe and quiet him. After a time my brother Frank and I
arranged to spend alternate nights with him, that he might never be
alone, and especially were we with him upon his journeys. We found to
our great joy that our influence over him was hourly growing stronger,
and we were able to guide and help him in many ways.
One night as I was silently watching beside him while he slept, many
months after he was alone, I became conscious that evil threatened him.
He was sleeping very peacefully, and I knew his dreams were happy ones
by the smile upon his dear face. I passed into the hall of the hotel
where he was staying, and found it dense with smoke. I hastened back
to him and called, and tried to shake him, but he slept on peacefully.
Then I called with all my strength, "Will!" close to his ear.
Instantly he started up and said, "Yes, dear, I am coming!" just as he
used to do when I called at night. Then in a moment he sank back with
a sigh upon his pillow, murmuring, "What a vivid dream! I never heard
her voice more distinctly in life."
"Will!" I again called, pulling him by the hand with all my strength,
"rise quickly! Your life is in danger!"
In an instant he was out of bed, upon his feet, and hurriedly drawing
on his clothes. "I am sure I cannot tell why I am doing this," he
muttered to himself. "I only feel that I must! That surely was her
voice I heard."
"Hurry! Hurry!" I urged.
He opened the door and met, not only the smoke, but tongues of flame.
"Do not try the stairway--come!" and I drew him past the stairway, and
through a narrow entrance to a second hall beyond, and down a second
flight of stairs, filled with smoke, but as yet no flame. Another
flight still below these, then into the open air, where he staggered,
faint and exhausted, on to the sidewalk, and was quickly helped by
friends into a place of safety.
"I am sure I cannot tell what wakened me," he afterward said to a
friend. "I dreamed I heard my wife calling me, and before I knew it I
was dressing myself."
"You did hear her, I have no doubt," she said. "Are they not 'all
ministering spirits, sent forth to do service for the sake of them that
shall inherit salvation'? What lovelier service could she do than to
thus save the life of one so dear to her, whose earth-work was not yet
done? Yes, you did hear her call you in time to escape. Thank God for
such ministrations."
"Yes, it must be so," he answered, with a happy look. "Thank God
indeed."
After this he yielded much more readily to our influence, and thus
began to enjoy, while yet upon earth, the reunion that so surely
awaited us in the blessed life. I often went also to the home of our
dear children, but there was so much to make them happy that they did
not need me as their father did. Sometimes in hours of great physical
prostration, especially during the absence of his wife, I found that I
could quiet the overwrought nerves of my dear son, and lead his tired
mind to restful thoughts; but with youth and strength and love to
support him, the time had not yet come when my ministrations were
essential.