And then, as I looked across at Grannie Annie, the vague light over the
tents seemed to shift a little, as if one layer of the atmosphere had
dropped away to be replaced by another.
There it was again, a definite movement in the air. Somehow I got the
impression I was looking around that space rather than through it. And
simultaneously Ezra Karn uttered a howl of pain. An instant later the
old prospector was rolling over and over, threshing his arms wildly.
An invisible sledge hammer descended on my shoulder. The blow was
followed by another and another. Heavy unseen hands held me down.
Opposite me Grannie Annie and the Venusians were suffering similar
punishment, the latter screaming in pain and bewilderment.
"It's the Varsoom!" Ezra Karn yelled. "We've got to make 'em laugh. Our
only escape is to make 'em laugh!"
He struggled to his feet and began leaping wildly around the camp fire.
Abruptly his foot caught on a log protruding from the fire; he tripped
and fell headlong into a mass of hot coals and ashes. Like a jumping
jack he was on his feet again, clawing dirt and soot from his eyes.
Out of the empty space about us there came a sudden hush. The unseen
blows ceased in mid-career. And then the silence was rent by wild
laughter. Peal after peal of mirthful yells pounded against our ears.
For many moments it continued; then it died away, and everything was
peaceful once more.
Grannie Annie picked herself up slowly. "That was close," she said. "I
wouldn't want to go through that again."
Ezra Karn nursed an ugly welt under one eye. "Those Varsoom got a funny
sense of humor," he growled.
* * * * *
Inside the freighter's narrow corridor Grannie faced me with eyes
filled with excitement.
"Billy-boy," she said, "we've got two problems now. We've got to stop
Doctor Universe, and we've got to find a way of getting out of here.
Right now we're nicely bottled up."
As if in answer to her words the visi set revealed the face of the quiz
master on the screen. He was saying:
"_Remember tomorrow at this same hour I will have a message of
unparalleled importance for the people of the nine planets. Tomorrow
night I urge you, I command you, to tune in._"
With a whistling intake of breath the old woman turned to one of the
Venusians.
"Bring all our equipment in here," she ordered. "Hurry!"
She untied the ribbon under her chin and took off her cap. She rolled
up her sleeves, and as the Venusians came marching into the space ship
with bundles of equipment, she fell to work.
Silently Ezra Karn and I watched her. First she completely dismantled
the visi set, put it together again with an entirely altered hookup.
Next she unrolled a coil of flexible copper mesh which we had brought
along as a protective electrical screening against the marsh insects.
She fastened rubberite suction cups to this mesh at intervals of every
twelve inches or more, carried it down to the freighter's hold and
fastened it securely against the stepto glass wall.
Trailing a three-ply conduit up from the hold to the corridor she
selected an induction coil, several Micro-Wellman tubes and a quantity
of wire from a box of spare parts. Dexterously her fingers moved in and
out, fashioning a complicated and curious piece of apparatus.
At length she finished.
"It's pretty hay-wire," she said, "but I think it will work. Now I'll
tell you what I'm going to do. When Doctor Universe broadcasts tomorrow
night, he's going to announce that he has set himself up as supreme
dictator. He'll have the Green Flame radiations coming from this ship
under full power. I'm going to insert into his broadcast--the laughing
of the Varsoom!"
"You're going to what?"
"Broadcast the mass laughter from those invisible creatures out there.
Visualize it, Billy-boy! At the dramatic moment when Doctor Universe
makes his plea for System-wide power, he will be accompanied by wild
peals of laughter. The whole broadcast will be turned into a burlesque."
"How you going to make 'em laugh?" interrupted Karn.
"We must think of a way," Grannie replied soberly.
I, for one, am glad that no representative of the Interstellar
Psychiatry Society witnessed our antics during the early hours of that
morning and on into the long reaches of the afternoon, as we vainly
tried to provoke the laughter of the Varsoom. All to no avail. Utter
silence greeted our efforts. And the time was growing close to the
scheduled Doctor Universe program.
Ezra Karn wiped a bead of perspiration from his brow. "Maybe we've got
to attract their attention first," he suggested. "Miss Flowers, why
don't you go up on the roof and read to 'em? Read 'em something from
one of your books, if you've got one along. That ought to make 'em sit
up and take notice."
For a moment the old woman gazed at him in silence. Then she got to her
feet quickly.
"I'll do it," she said. "I'll read them the attack scene from _Murder
On A Space Liner_."
* * * * *
It didn't make sense, of course. But nothing made sense in this mad
venture. Grannie Annie opened her duffel bag and drew out a copy of
her most popular book. With the volume under her arm, she mounted the
ladder to the top of the envelope. Ezra Karn rigged up a radite search
lamp, and a moment later the old woman stood in the center of a circle
of white radiance.