more of the love 'that conquers all, and every mountain moves.'--My
private communings with God are my most precious seasons. There I
can tell all my wants, unbosom all my griefs, reveal all my secrets,
expose all my temptations, and there the Lord graciously condescends
to visit me with fresh manifestations of His love and power. These
visits humble me, and give me to see, where my strength lies. Come,
Lord, and dwell in me, that every moment I may have the witness that
all I do is right.--I called to see my dear afflicted friend W., whose
eldest daughter is slowly sinking into the tomb. As it was the hour
we usually meet in band, we retired to pour out our souls before the
Lord. My friend seemed willing to give up her daughter, if only she
could be assured, that a divine change had taken place. The Lord gave
us the Spirit of prayer to plead on this account, and glory be to God,
in that same hour, He imparted peace to the dying child.--The night
was awfully tempestuous. I rose twice to pour out my soul to Him, who
rules the storm, and found sweet calm within.--After tea, Mr. Spence
asked me, why I had invited my friends. I replied, it was my desire,
that we should help each other to heaven. A conversation on holiness
of heart ensued, which to me, and I trust to all present, was
profitable. This conversation will leave no painful reflection. I
avowed that I held, though with a trembling hand, the power to love
God with all my heart, and felt the sweet assurance at the time; but
the next morning when I awoke, it was suggested, I knew not what I had
avowed. The satisfactory evidence was for a moment withdrawn; yet by
faith I still resolved to hang upon the Saviour. I did not long remain
in doubt, my peace of mind returned; and in the evening, while
engaged in prayer (Eliza being with me), the divine influence sweetly
overwhelmed my soul, and not mine only, my Eliza felt its power. Glory
be to God.--I took tea with Mrs. E., the person with whom I lodged
during my affliction. A sense of gratitude for past mercies stirred my
heart to praise; and the time, which might otherwise have been spent
in conversation to no profit, was spent in prayer.--I daily need the
sprinkled blood, and the clear assurance of the perfect love which
'casteth out fear.' I dare not doubt that I possess, in a measure,
its blessed fruits; but I long to rise higher, that no scruple may
remain."
VIII.
PASSING CLOUDS.
"CAN ANY UNDERSTAND THE SPREADINGS OF THE CLOUDS."--Job xxxvi. 29.
Who can explain the involuntary emotions of human mind? How strange,
that often, on the eve of some great misfortune, a sensible cloud
should spread over the spirit; but whence it comes, or why, we
cannot tell! To say it is a coincidence is only an acknowledgment of
ignorance. Ought we not rather to refer it to the secret agency of
the spirit-world by which we are surrounded; but of which we know so
little? Perhaps God would thus timely warn us to seek refuge under the
shadow of his wing, just as we seek shelter from the storm, which the
cloud, that spreads itself upon the face of heaven, tells us is at
hand. At least, it cannot be without advantage, when such monitions
occur, to betake ourselves to more earnest prayer; then, come what
may, we shall find a safe asylum in Him, to whom belongeth everlasting
strength.--One of the first entries of the year 1824, is
THE CLOUD WILL SOON BLOW OVER.
Though far, and wide above my head,
The dull portentous cloud is spread;
With many a dark and massive fold,
Love decks it with a rim of gold.
The sun is shining still behind,
The promise of a purpose kind;
And, soon unveiled again, will dart
His cheering rays upon my heart.
Far brighter will His face appear,
Than if no cloud had gathered near.
Then, till the cloud is overpast,
My anchor, hope, on God I'll cast;
Assured while He is throned above,
The cloud is only sent in love.
About a fortnight after penning these lines, her father, whose
continued life she had, every spring, hailed with a new song of
gratitude, was suddenly seized with a fit of paralysis, which in a few
days terminated his earthly career. A premonitory attack had occurred
in the preceding autumn, which at the time affected his speech, but
on recovering a little, he expressed his confidence in God in these
remarkable words: "It is rolled up; it is rolled up. I am satisfied; I
am quite satisfied. I am ready; when the Lord pleases, I am ready. The
Lord hath given me eternal life. I know the Lord; I shall not perish.
I shall not perish, for I am the Lord's." During the winter he had
rallied again, and resumed his labours in his Master's cause. Hopes
began to be entertained, that he might yet be spared a little longer;
but these were suddenly cut off. About the beginning of February he
was seized again, and it was soon apparent that this attack would
prove fatal. His last testimony to the truth was strong and clear, and
continued to be borne until the power of language failed. To the Rev.
W. McKitrick, who came to visit him shortly before his departure,
he said, in almost the same words the amiable Addison used to Lord
Warwick, "You are come to see a Christian, die;" and then added,
"Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost. I used
to sing that in the Church, when I knew not what it meant; but now I
do." Not a shadow of a cloud rested upon the valley; it was full of
light: and on the 24th of the month he died, in the full triumph of
faith, esteemed and lamented by persons of every shade of opinion.
"This day in former years, I have hailed my dear father's stay among
us; but now, he has left our dark abode to join his friends above; and
this day, his death is to be improved by Mr. Hopkins New Street,
and Mr. McKitrick, in Albion Street Chapel. For some weeks I have
been under the chastening hand of God. My patience has been severely
tested; but I am thankful, in the moments of severest trial, I have
felt confident that not a stroke would be laid upon me more than
would conduce to my real good. Though the waves roll around me, I
can venture myself on Jesus. Here I find firm footing; here is my
resting-place; and in the precious atonement of the Redeemer, my soul
enjoys sweet repose.--I have been suffering from sickness, but have
had many precious moments while musing upon my bed. Through mercy, I
am again able to sit up, but am very deaf. This has occasioned a train
of reasoning. I have been led to inquire, whether the Lord in His
providence intends to depose me from meeting His people. But in
this, and in every thing else, I would resignedly say, 'Thy will be
done.'--The mercy of the Lord is again repeated. The deafness, from
which I have suffered, is greatly removed. Bless the Lord, who can not
only make the deaf to hear, but the heart to praise.--My little Anna,
after being lent to me for seventeen days, and finding nothing on
earth to court her stay, has closed her eyes on time, and opened them
upon heaven. So uncertain is earthly happiness. Perhaps my heavenly
Father, more securely to engage my heart, has kindly resumed the
gift; and transplanted to a better soil the flower, whose charms were
insensibly stealing my affections. I anticipated the delightful task
of rearing this tender plant to be a future comfort; but Thou, O Lord,
art righteous in all Thy ways. My feelings have been peculiarly acute,
but to Thee, O Lord, my heart is known. Teach me due submission to
Thy will; and as, by this bereavement, I shall, if restored to health,
have more leisure, may I dedicate it to Thee.--While Miss O. was
praying with me, I had such a blessed view of the inhabitants of the
world above, that for a moment I seemed to be there. At the Class I
was led to see the privilege of living by faith every moment. Since
then, I have been able to realize _present_ blessings. The perusal
of one of Mr. Fletcher's letters has been of service to me; also the
recollection of what my father used to say; 'I ask in faith, and bring
the blessing away with me.' Surely this is our Christian birthright.
Faith honours God, and 'without faith it is impossible to please
God.' Thanks be unto Thee, I can now live by faith; but I want to
lose myself in Thee, Thou vast unfathomable sea of love! Covered with
imperfections, I want to be plunged in the precious blood of Jesus.
Precious Name! Precious blood! the sweetest cordial of the soul.
I have had such a view of the way of faith as I cannot express; so
simple, yet so divine! Such a sweet deliverance from doubt! While I
feel myself nothing, I have power to apprehend God as my sanctifying
Saviour. What has the world to compare with this?--I rose before six
to hold communion with my God. Art Thou _my_ God? Yes; by that exalted
name, I feel Thou art mine. My soul longs for Thee. When shall I wake
up after Thy likeness? I have this evening met the precious charge
committed to my care. The responsibility seems greater than ever. O
may I watch as one having to give account.
"Sinnington. Nature now resumes its beauty, but the removal of my
beloved Ann, and the absence of my dear Elizabeth, make a mighty
chasm. Well; soon these separations will cease, and my freed spirit
soar to mansions of unclouded bliss. I have been tempted by the enemy;
but hold fast my confidence: may the faith, which purifies the heart,
sanctify my lips, that I may tell of all Thy wondrous love.--I visited
Mrs. B. a second time; she is encouraged to believe the Lord will save
her, for Christ's sake-without any merit of her own. Her husband was
more cordial than I expected from the account I had heard of him;
the tears started in his eyes while I conversed with him. I feel I am
employed as I ought to be, when in this way I render the least service
to a fellow-creature; but O how poor and feeble are my efforts! Since
I came here my mind has been variously affected; sometimes clear,
sometimes clouded; sometimes in prayer I have experienced unusual
liberty, and again a degree of coldness; but always a sense of the
approbation of God, with a desire to be entirely conformed to His
will.--Part of the day was spent in bidding the friends farewell, and
in visiting some of the poor; and now I have finished my visit to this
place, I can say, I have been endeavouring to please God, and in some
measure, benefit my fellow creatures; but my performances have been
so mixed, that I am ashamed before the Lord. Nothing but the blood of
sprinkling can wash away my defilement.--I went to the vestry after
the evening service, and selected a place, where I thought I should
not be observed; but the thought of the curse of Meroz, constrained me
to leave my retired position. I resolved, if any opportunity presented
itself, to engage in prayer; and truly God poured upon me the spirit
of grace and supplication.--This week I have paid a social visit both
to Mrs. R. and Mrs. W. Praise the Lord, I came away uncondemned on
account of anything I had said. This has not always been the case. I
am thankful for the inward teaching of the Spirit; for the desire that
every power of my body, as well as every affection of my soul, may be
wholly consecrated to God. This is now my prayer.--I have been much
affected to hear that an old man, whom I had intended to visit, died
yesterday. O God, forgive the omission and help me to be faithful. I
took an opportunity of seeing Mr. and Mrs. G., to converse with them
on the necessity of salvation: let Thy spirit work. The Lord has been
showing me what a poor empty creature I am; but gives me confidence
in His promise. I can cast myself entirely upon Him, who is willing to
save me to the uttermost. Glory be to God, my soul dares lay hold on
Jesus, as my full, and all-sufficient Saviour.--This morning I gave
Wm. B. an invitation to chapel; called on M.T.S., who is in trouble,
and advised him to read the 112th Psalm; saw Esther S., who is fast
declining, but seems to desire nothing so much as union with God; also
visited J.C., who is sick, but happy in God.--The means of grace
are refreshing, but these are not the only occasions on which I get
blessed. No; while my hands are engaged with my ordinary duties, I
can look up and call God Father.--My husband presented me with a new
visiting book, the old ones having been called in after the death of
Mr. Spence; and the whole concern placed in the hands of a committee.
Having formerly felt my insufficiency, I have sought help at the
throne of grace, and entreated the Lord, as the committee have thought
proper to send me a book, that He would give me a word in season, and
His blessing with my efforts.--The souls committed to me have been
laid very near my heart. Conscious of my own weakness, I asked the
Lord to put His word into my mouth, and bring it to my remembrance;
and to His honour I here record it, that I have never experienced
greater liberty.--In the prayer-meeting I was silent, and felt
condemned in consequence; and on Saturday night the conviction of duty
was still deeper, but still resisted, How much I need forgiveness! As
the result, barrenness came over my soul, which continued part of the
next day. The recollection of having petitioned God to take my soul
and body's powers, and then to refuse to employ my tongue in His
service, although He had promised to put words into my mouth, fills
me with shame and humiliation.--For some days I have been hanging on
Christ by naked faith, without much sensible comfort; yet have felt
as fully resolved to live to the glory of God as when bathing in the
beams of His love. To-night the sacred fire burns brightly 'on the
mean altar of my heart.'--I have many mercies to be thankful for,
though not recounted here. A moderate share of health is not the
least; my class increases, my family is well; I am surrounded with
friends; and above all, I enjoy peace of mind. 'What shall I render to
the Lord for all His benefits?'"
The rapid moments fleet away;
And on their tireless wings,
Death rides, majestic in his sway,
Subjecting Popes and Kings.
"1825.--My daughter being out to tea, I called to take her to chapel;
but the solicitations of her friends had induced her to relinquish her
intention: so I left her. But my mind was much pained; the case of Eli
forcibly impressed my mind. I think I too easily yielded to what
my better judgment condemned. I need the forbearance of my heavenly
Father, and wisdom to direct my children aright. I see great danger
in mixing with the world, and the company of outward professors is
equally perilous.--While Mr. Stoner was describing the character of
those, who have received Christ, my soul responded to the truth: I
felt the reality of the change in my own heart. The evidence of the
sanctifying grace of God has of late been more distinct; yet never
have I been more deeply convinced of my own nothingness, nor of the
exceeding riches of the divine grace.--This eventful month (February)
is this year ushered in by answers to prayer. Having a cold, and being
dull of hearing, I entreated the Lord, if he had called me to meet
his people, to give me power to hear. He graciously condescended to my
request and blessed me among them. Four new converts stepped in. O for
wisdom to instruct them.--I had a very pleasant visit at Miss C.'s.
Mr. Stoner, Sammy Hick, and two or three female friends were there. We
got to know one another's hearts upon our knees, and the Lord lent an
attentive ear.--My body is feeble, but my soul pants after God. I
want totally to abandon self, that Christ may be all in all. He is the
chief object of my affection, but I want to lay firmer hold upon His
omnipotent strength. It is faith that brings the power to exhibit the
graces of the Spirit, and to act acceptably in the sight of God."
CHRISTIAN FRIENDSHIP.
Friendship hails the rising joy,
And shares the falling tear;
Breathes the sympathetic sigh,
And swells the common prayer.
How it soothes the troubled breast!
This charity divine
Breathes the balm of heavenly rest.
--May such a friend be mine.
"After my morning duties are discharged, I intend to devote the
Thursday of every week to the Lord, so long as health and opportunity
are afforded me; especially in visiting the members of my class,
ministering to the sick, and attending the school. I went out feeling
that I was the engaged servant of the Lard, and he has graciously
blessed my endeavours. One whom I visited is earnestly seeking the
Lord; and another, who has long been indebted to my husband, gave me a
sovereign towards the amount-unsought, unasked, and unexpected!"
Father of all, and God of grace,
Whose ever watchful eye
Surveys the depth and breadth of space;
Yet sees the sparrow fly:
Behold my heart--it pants for Thee;
The temple for Thyself prepare;
There let Thy throne established be,
Thy name engraven there.
"Much against my inclination, I paid a formal visit to ----;
providentially I was seated near a friend, who was willing to converse
on things conducing to holiness.--Among the Lord's poor my soul is
often blessed. This day, the day I have set apart for God, I wrote to
Miss B. respecting the Sunday class; and, after arranging my domestic
affairs, set forth to visit Mrs. D., then Mary H., who was sitting up
reading her Bible. As soon as I entered, she began to tell me, that
a great change had taken place in her views and feelings; and that
prayer and reading the word, were her greatest delight. I asked her
how long she had experienced this; she replied, 'About a month. You
had been praying with me; many things you said fastened upon my mind:'
then, laying her hand upon her heart, she added, 'I felt such a weight
here, I knelt down to pray; and after getting into bed again, it
seemed as if a voice spoke to me, 'Mary, the door is open:' from
that time I have felt such peace of mind, and pleasure in reading the
Bible, as I never did before.' Lord, Thou art able to judge of this
statement, and bringest men to Thyself, by ways and means unknown to
human sense. This occurred on the first Thursday I devoted to God.
Lord, make me faithful in the discharge of the trust reposed in me.--I
am this morning left alone; yet not alone. I feel a blessed sense
of the divine presence, which enables me to anticipate my heavenly
inheritance; but not for any merit in me: oh no! on Jesus hangs my
hope. To me belongeth shame and confusion of face; for my best doings
are polluted, and all my good is from Himself. Praised be His name for
the change effected in my mind. The saints of God are my delight,
the word of God my treasure, and communion with God my greatest
joy.--Through mercy, although feeble in body, I am better than during
last week. Yet even then I enjoyed peace, and when weakest, my faith
has been strongest; I could commit all into His hands; still I see
myself a poor empty creature. It is all of grace, through Jesus.
Precious name!"
Afflictions, from Thy gracious hand,
Unmingled blessings prove;
The rod, prepared at Thy command,
Displays a Father's love.
Beneath its weight, submissive, Lord,
Upward to Thee I look;
"Expect according to Thy word,"
A blessing in the stroke.
May every pain be sanctified;
And every grace improve;
Till freed from dross, like silver tried,
My soul is only love.
No tear shall then bedew my eyes,
No grief my bosom swell;
The note of gratitude shall rise,
Thou hast done all things well.
"My dear mother has had a fall, and has been much indisposed in
consequence. I am thankful to have her so near me, as it is a pleasure
to perform my duty as a child. In this, and every other relation, may
I be found faithful.--I rose very early, as I felt concerned about
my dear mother; and went to her room-door, between three and four
o'clock; but as Mary had fastened it within, I could not obtain
admittance. However, I betook myself to prayer, and commended her to
the Lord. This passage was strongly impressed upon my mind: 'The Lord
will strengthen him upon the bed of languishing; Thou wilt make all
his bed in his sickness.'--I spent the day at H., in the company of
some friends not decidedly devoted to God. The Lord kept me, and I
am thankful I came home without condemnation. I was favoured with an
opportunity of speaking with each of them respecting their spiritual
state, and the things of eternity.--For some time I have been
surrounded by hurry and excitement, and longing for a little
retirement. At length, in a way I did not expect, I am in part
secluded from my family. In this I am constrained to acknowledge the
mercy of God to an undeserving worm. Brought apparently to the grave's
edge, I have been refreshed with His presence, and had power to cast
myself upon His fatherly love. The enemy assaults me; but aware of my
own weakness I venture, powerless as I am, upon the boundless merits
of Jesus."
How sweet is still retirement! How it calms
The mind, and aids reflection! Here my soul,
Unfetter'd, soars to converse with its God.
I hear his Spirit whisp'ring round me now;
And love, and gratitude subdue my heart.
Yes, Solitude! I love thee, and enjoy
In thy sequester'd depths, the bliss, in crowds
I seek in vain. My God! my only joy!
Yet, O blest Saviour, when Thy voice is heard,
Amid the tumult springs a sudden calm,
And heaven-born peace pervades my happy soul.
"A situation has offered for Richard, which we have hesitated to
accept or refuse, wishful to do right, and afraid of doing wrong. In
this dilemma, we cast ourselves at the footstool of mercy, my husband
and mother uniting with me, and were fully enabled to roll our care
upon God, who wonderfully undertook for us. I believe we have done
right."
IX.
MID-DAY TOIL.
"SEEK THAT YE MAY EXCEL TO THE EDIFYING OF THE CHURCH."
1 Cor. xiv. 12.
True religion is reproductive. A converted man will try to convert
his neighbour; and the value of his own experience may in general be
tested by the manner in which he uses his opportunities of doing good.
So true is this, that the Saviour said, "He, that is not with me, is
against me; and he, that gathereth not with me, scattereth abroad." An
inactive Christian is a contradiction in terms; for he is no copy of
his divine Master, who, morning, noon, and night, "went about doing
good." All the Scriptural symbols of the kingdom of God are expressive
of energetic action. The little cloud attracts to itself the moist
particles of the atmosphere, until it covers the whole heavens. The
seed germinates, and grows, till it brings forth thirty, sixty, or
a hundred fold. The leaven, which is but a minute form of vegetable
life, developes itself in every direction by means of little cells;
which again form others, and thus by continual reproduction, leavens
the whole mass. What Is the lesson? Every heart in which the kingdom
of God is set up, becomes a centre of life and action, exerting a
healing influence upon the corrupting masses of society around. And
oh! if every Christian professor were thus endued with power from on
high, what could hinder the progress of the truth? How would it spread
and prevail, until the whole world submitted to its sway!