TOADSTOOLS.
WE arranged that our watchman—as my uncle called him, thinking it much
more respectable than spy—should hire a room from our friend Mrs.
Wilcox, who could help him in many ways. For she knew all the habits of
the house of Bulwrag, and had useful friends in the kitchen there, and
could introduce Tonks to a distant view of the adversary’s mother and
sisters.
All this being settled, and everybody else in good spirits about it, I
fell suddenly into deep dejection, not on account of Sam Henderson’s
good luck, for that I rejoiced in and would not think of, but simply
from dwelling on my own hard fate, and the sympathy aroused by it among
all who knew me. For as time went on, I was pitied more and more, and
our neighbours one and all made up their minds, that there never had
been a more unlucky fellow. And especially the women looked at me in
such a way, that when I could avoid them without rudeness, it seemed to
be a comfort to have business round the corner.
This began to tell upon me more and more; for as no man can see all the
world for himself, but must take his view of it from other people’s
eyes; so even in his own affairs he finds their colour affected by the
light or shade that others cast upon them. And labour as I might to
think that every one was wrong, and ought to be compelled to keep his
mind to his own business, yet when I had made all this most certain to
myself, a frosty fog and gloom of doubt would settle on my spirits,
and wrap me in a world of wonder having no straight road in it. And
what with one state of mind and another, sometimes the pangs of memory,
and sometimes the stings of fury, and worst of all the heavy ache of
listlessness and loneliness, upon the whole it seemed less harm to be
out of life than in it.
How it might have ended I know not, if it had not been for something
which I took to be an accident, and of no importance to me more than
any other meeting. One evening after sunset, as the days were drawing
in, though the summer was still in its power and beauty, I was taking
my usual lonely walk in “Love Lane,” as the young people called it.
There had not been a night, whether fine or wet, from the time of my
loss to this moment, when I had failed of this lonely walk, unless I
was far from Sunbury. It was some little comfort to end the day in
pacing to and fro where last, so far at least as knowledge went, my
Kitty’s footsteps must have been.
And now, when the sunset tint was gone, and the sky could be looked
into like clear glass, and in the tranquillity of summer night the
flutter of a leaf might almost seem to be caused by the twinkle of a
star, I, the only unquiet creature—according to the laws of man—was
treading the same restless round, and thinking the same endless
thoughts, as when the storm of evil fortune had been fresh upon
me. Wrapt in my own cares alone, and breathing only for myself—for
absorbing love in small men is but selfishness by deputy, and I in all
but outward form have been a small man always—here I plodded without
heed of grandeur, goodness, or the will of God.
But things are strangely brought about; and any one not remembering
this might laugh to hear how I was enlarged, and for the moment more
ennobled than by all the stars of heaven, through the sight of a white
cotton handkerchief. A man climbed over a gate into the lane, stiffly
raising one leg first, and then after a little pause the other, as if
his active days were gone. And probably I should not have seen him, for
all his clothes were black, unless he carried a white handkerchief.
This was conspicuous in the dark of the overhanging foliage; and it
seemed to be doubled up by the corners, and bulging with some bulk
inside.
“What can he have got in that?” thought I, and hastened my steps to
see, although it was no concern by rights of mine.
“Good evening, Mr. Kit—excuse me, Mr. Orchardson I mean.” This was said
in a kind and gentle voice; and I took off my hat, for I saw that it
was our parson, the Rev. Peter Golightly, not our vicar, who was absent
for the summer, but the curate in charge of our parish.
“What a calm and beautiful night!” he resumed; “it takes one out of
one’s self almost. It makes our sorrows seem so small.”
He might have talked like this for an hour, without any effect of that
sort on me; if he had not finished with a heavy sigh, in spite of all
the solace of the scene. Then I knew that he referred to his own grief,
which was a dark and bitter one. He had lost his wife, just before he
came to us; and now it was said that his only child, a graceful girl of
about fifteen, was pining away with some mysterious illness, and would
take no food. And he, an old man of threescore and five, of feeble
frame and requiring care, must finish his earthly course alone, poor,
and forlorn, and with none to love him.
“I hope Miss Bessy is a little better,” I said very softly; for I felt
rebuked in my health and strength, by a grief like this.
“No, I fear not. She fancies nothing. As I came back from visiting
poor Nanny Page, I saw some fine mushrooms in the footpath field, and
it struck me that possibly my child would like them; though they are
not very nourishing or wholesome food. But if we could get her to
eat anything—and I have a special style of cooking them. But it was
nearly dark when I gathered them, and I scarcely know the true from the
poisonous. I was going to ask Dr. Sippets, but I fear he would forbid
them altogether. You could do me a great favour, if you would. Just to
look these over for me.”
This I undertook with the greatest pleasure, and asked him to come
to my cottage for the purpose, where we could procure a light. And I
was pleased that he did not in any way attempt to “talk goody,” as our
people call it, nor even refer to my lonely condition; though I knew
by the softness of his manner that it was present to his mind. The
reverend gentleman had collected his booty in too Catholic a spirit,
mingling with the true Agaric some very fine “horse-mushrooms,” and
even one or two poisonous toadstools. Having packed all the good ones
in a tidy punnet, which looked more enticing than his handkerchief, I
carried them for him to his own door, and obtained leave to call on the
morrow, and ask whether the young lady had been tempted.
My Uncle Corny was one of that vast majority of good Britons, which can
never forbear the most obvious joke, even when it is least attractive.
The most fastidious people in the world could scarcely call him
“vulgar,”—which used to be a favourite word with them—because he could
let them call him what they liked, and be none the worse for it. They
might just as well blame a dog for loving liver, or a cat for believing
that heaven is milk, as fall foul of my Uncle Corny, because he ate
the onions of very common jokes. He liked to make a laugh; and when he
failed, he perceived that the fault was upon the other side.
“I thought of a capital thing,” he told me, “when I was half awake last
night, for I never sleep now as I used to do. If you go on like this,
you’ll have to answer to the parish for it. What right have you to
change our parson’s name?”
I saw by the wag of his nose that he was inditing of some cumbrous
joke; and I let him take his time about it.
“How slow you are! Can’t you see, Kit, his proper name is Golightly;
and you are making him go heavily. Well, never mind. I can’t expect you
to see anything just now. I suppose you never mean to laugh again.”
“Certainly not at such stuff as that. What am I doing to disturb him?”
“Why, you are getting into talks together, and heavy proceedings about
probations, and trials, and furnaces of affliction, and all that sort
of stuff, as I call it; instead of coming to have your pipe with me.”
“There has not been a word of the sort;” I answered, wondering how he
could be so small. “Mr. Golightly leaves all that for the Methodists.
He is a churchman. And not only that, but he is a man of true courage,
and real faith in God. If he could only give me a hundredth part of
what he has, how different I should be! And he never talks about it,
but I know that it is in him. Without a single word, he has made me
thoroughly ashamed of the way I go on. Look at him! A poor old man,
who can scarcely climb a gate, or lift a chair, and who sees his one
delight in this world pining and waning to the grave before him. Yet
does he ever moan and groan, and turn his back on his fellow-creatures?
Not he. He sets his face to work, with a smile that may be sad, but
is at any rate a pleasant one; and he gives all his time to help poor
people, who are not half so poor as he is. I call him a man; and I call
myself a cur.”
“Come, come; that’s all nonsense, Kit. I am sure you have borne your
trouble well; though you have been crusty now and then. And you can’t
say that I have not made allowance wonderfully for you. And here you
are ready to throw me over; because this man, whose duty it is, and who
is paid for doing it, sets a finer example than I do! I don’t call that
a Christian thing. Let him come and grow fruit, and have to sell it,
and if he keeps his temper then, and pays all his hands on a Saturday
night, and sets a better example than I do—”
I burst out laughing. It was very rude; for my uncle was much in
earnest. But I could not help it; and after staring at me, with a
vacant countenance, he gave three great puffs of tobacco and smiled as
if he was sorry for me.
“Well, take him another bunch of grapes,” he said with true
magnanimity; “I am glad that the poor maid enjoys them. And they are
come down now to fifteen pence.”
Thus was I taken, without deserving any such consolation, into a higher
life than my own, and a very different tone of thought. The bitterness,
and moody rancour, which had been encroaching on me, yielded to a
softer vein of interest, and sympathy in sorrows better borne than
mine. The lesson of patience was before me, told in silence and learned
with love; and it went into me all the deeper, because my pores were
open.
But in spite of all that, I saw no way to sudden magnanimity. It is
not sensible to suppose that any man can forego his ways, and jump to
sudden exaltation, just because he comes across people of higher views
than his. Women seem to compass often these vast enlargements of the
heart; but a man is of less spongy fibre, if he is fit to marry them.
It had been admitted by Tabby Tapscott, even in her crossest moments,
that I was a “man as any woman could look up to, if she chose.” And the
very best of them must not be asked to do that to a man, who is like
themselves. And so I continued pretty stiff outside, and resolved to
have my rights, which is the only way to get them.
“Here comes Tony,” exclaimed my uncle, on the following Saturday night;
“time for him to show something for his money. If there is anything I
call unfair, it is to pay for a thing before you get it. He will prove
to his own satisfaction that he has worked it out, of course. When you
were at Ludred about Sam’s wedding, you should have fixed your aunt to
something. Your fifty pounds is nearly gone; and she never gave you
another penny. I don’t see why I should pay for it like this. And the
French stuff is in the market already. What’s the good of being an
Englishman?”
“And what’s the good of being an Englishwoman?” I answered, for I
thought him too unjust, as he had not paid a sixpence yet. “Unless she
is allowed to dress sometimes, and be told that she is twenty years
younger than she is. Aunt Parslow looked fit to be a bridesmaid quite.
And she will come down handsomely, when she has paid her bills. She
looked at her cheque-book, and she said as much as that.”
“Then let her do it;” said my uncle shortly. “I suppose this spy-fellow
will expect his supper. Eat he can, and no mistake. The smaller a man
is, the more he holds. You had better run down to the butcher’s.”
Mr. Tonks might have heard him, but he made no sign, only coming up
quietly with his tall hat on, and taking a chair which stood opposite
to ours; for the weather being friendly, and the summer at its height,
we were sitting out of doors, beneath the old oak tree. Then he nodded
to us, put his hat upon the grass, and waited for our questions.
“Well, Tonks, what have you been up to all this time? You have sent us
no letter, so I suppose you have done little?”
Thus spoke my uncle, looking at him rather sternly. I also looked at
him very closely, and was surprised to find a certain strength of
goodness in his face, which I had not observed, when I first saw him.
His face was thin and narrow, and his cheeks drawn in, and his aquiline
nose had had a twist to one side. But the forehead was high and broad,
and the lips and chin full of vigour and strong resolution. And the
quiet gray eyes expressed both keenness and resource.
“A thing of this kind takes a lot of time,” he said; “and if you gents
are not satisfied, you had better say so. I take no man’s money, when
he thinks it thrown away.”
“Hoity, toity, man, don’t be so hot,” my uncle replied, showing much
more heat himself; “we have not said a word. We are waiting for you.”
“I have not done much. It was not to be expected. I have cleared the
ground for further work. It depends upon you, whether I go on.”
“Yes, to be sure! Go on, go on. We give you your head, and we are as
patient as Job. I suppose you have found out where that scoundrel is.”
“Yes. And I have found out something more than that. I have struck up
an acquaintance with him, and he does not know me; though he ought, for
he broke my arm last winter; though perhaps he never saw my face. But I
wore moustaches and whiskers then, and a green shade through a little
kick from a horse. I know of a gambling-club he goes to, and there I
meet him every night. I have put him up to a trick or two; and we are
to rehearse them at his rooms to-morrow night. He is very close; but I
shall gradually worm him. But I must be supplied with cash, to do it.”
“We will try to arrange about that,” said my uncle; “and of course you
can return it, and perhaps win some more. Gambling is a thing I detest
with all my heart; and no one can ever win by it, in the end. If he
did, it would do him no good. But still, it is right that the rogues
who live by it should be robbed. If you pick up a pound or two there,
all the better. I think you have done wonders, Tonks. But I suppose you
have discovered nothing about—about the lady.”
“Not a single syllable yet,” he answered, looking at me, as he caught
my expression; “but I believe I shall, if I have my time. What I have
done is a great deal better than ‘shadowing’ the man, as they call it.
I might do that for months, and be no wiser. But I am obliged to be
very careful. So many people know me. I can never go near him where the
racing people are. And I have had one very narrow shave already. But
there is another thing you may be glad to know. Bulwrag is beginning to
make up to a rich lady. He is not sweet upon her; but it seems that he
must do it.”
“The thief!” exclaimed my uncle; “we must never allow that. The scamp
would break her heart. I am determined to prevent it. I shall let her
know my opinion of him. I know all the villainous lot too well. Don’t
be excited, Tonks. I can’t stand that. Give me her name and address;
and I will go with the van myself, if necessary. I should think myself
a party to it, if I did not stop it. She will soon see what I am.”
“I was going to tell you, but now I had better not,” Tony Tonks
answered with a sly dry smile; “what good could you do, Mr. Orchardson?
The lady would only laugh at you, even if she deigned to see you.”
“Nobody ever laughs at me. And as for deigning to see me,—why, the
Queen herself would do it, the way I should put it.”
“Well, you have a good opinion of yourself. But you must keep quiet in
this matter, unless you want to spoil my little game. The lady is the
Lady Clara Voucher, daughter of the Earl of Clerinhouse, a very great
heiress, and not bad looking. What more he can want is a puzzle to me.
But it goes against the grain with him.”
“He shall never have her; he may take his oath of that,” said my uncle,
bringing down his hand upon his knee, as if he were the father of the
peerage.
“Well, this is a curious affair,” thought I; “how can he be taking to
anybody else, after having cast his eyes on Kitty?”