It was their usual manner to remove, when they had done any mischief,
lest they should be found out; and so they did at this time. We went
about three or four miles, and there they built a great wigwam, big
enough to hold an hundred Indians, which they did in preparation to a
great day of dancing. They would say now amongst themselves, that the
governor would be so angry for his loss at Sudbury, that he would send
no more about the captives, which made me grieve and tremble. My sister
being not far from the place where we now were, and hearing that I was
here, desired her master to let her come and see me, and he was willing
to it, and would go with her; but she being ready before him, told him
she would go before, and was come within a mile or two of the place.
Then he overtook her, and began to rant as if he had been mad, and made
her go back again in the rain; so that I never saw her till I saw her
in Charlestown. But the Lord requited many of their ill doings, for this
Indian her master, was hanged afterward at Boston. The Indians now began
to come from all quarters, against their merry dancing day. Among some
of them came one goodwife Kettle. I told her my heart was so heavy that
it was ready to break. "So is mine too," said she, but yet said, "I hope
we shall hear some good news shortly." I could hear how earnestly my
sister desired to see me, and I as earnestly desired to see her; and yet
neither of us could get an opportunity. My daughter was also now about a
mile off, and I had not seen her in nine or ten weeks, as I had not seen
my sister since our first taking. I earnestly desired them to let me go
and see them: yea, I entreated, begged, and persuaded them, but to let
me see my daughter; and yet so hard-hearted were they, that they would
not suffer it. They made use of their tyrannical power whilst they
had it; but through the Lord's wonderful mercy, their time was now but
short.
On a Sabbath day, the sun being about an hour high in the afternoon,
came Mr. John Hoar (the council permitting him, and his own foreward
spirit inclining him), together with the two forementioned Indians,
Tom and Peter, with their third letter from the council. When they came
near, I was abroad. Though I saw them not, they presently called me in,
and bade me sit down and not stir. Then they catched up their guns, and
away they ran, as if an enemy had been at hand, and the guns went off
apace. I manifested some great trouble, and they asked me what was the
matter? I told them I thought they had killed the Englishman (for they
had in the meantime informed me that an Englishman was come). They said,
no. They shot over his horse and under and before his horse, and they
pushed him this way and that way, at their pleasure, showing what they
could do. Then they let them come to their wigwams. I begged of them to
let me see the Englishman, but they would not. But there was I fain
to sit their pleasure. When they had talked their fill with him, they
suffered me to go to him. We asked each other of our welfare, and how
my husband did, and all my friends? He told me they were all well, and
would be glad to see me. Amongst other things which my husband sent me,
there came a pound of tobacco, which I sold for nine shillings in money;
for many of the Indians for want of tobacco, smoked hemlock, and ground
ivy. It was a great mistake in any, who thought I sent for tobacco; for
through the favor of God, that desire was overcome. I now asked them
whether I should go home with Mr. Hoar? They answered no, one and
another of them, and it being night, we lay down with that answer. In
the morning Mr. Hoar invited the Sagamores to dinner; but when we went
to get it ready we found that they had stolen the greatest part of the
provision Mr. Hoar had brought, out of his bags, in the night. And we
may see the wonderful power of God, in that one passage, in that when
there was such a great number of the Indians together, and so greedy of
a little good food, and no English there but Mr. Hoar and myself, that
there they did not knock us in the head, and take what we had, there
being not only some provision, but also trading-cloth, a part of the
twenty pounds agreed upon. But instead of doing us any mischief, they
seemed to be ashamed of the fact, and said, it were some matchit Indian
that did it. Oh, that we could believe that there is nothing too hard
for God! God showed His power over the heathen in this, as He did over
the hungry lions when Daniel was cast into the den. Mr. Hoar called
them betime to dinner, but they ate very little, they being so busy
in dressing themselves, and getting ready for their dance, which was
carried on by eight of them, four men and four squaws. My master and
mistress being two. He was dressed in his holland shirt, with great
laces sewed at the tail of it; he had his silver buttons, his white
stockings, his garters were hung round with shillings, and he had
girdles of wampum upon his head and shoulders. She had a kersey coat,
and covered with girdles of wampum from the loins upward. Her arms from
her elbows to her hands were covered with bracelets; there were handfuls
of necklaces about her neck, and several sorts of jewels in her ears.
She had fine red stockings, and white shoes, her hair powdered and face
painted red, that was always before black. And all the dancers were
after the same manner. There were two others singing and knocking on a
kettle for their music. They kept hopping up and down one after another,
with a kettle of water in the midst, standing warm upon some embers,
to drink of when they were dry. They held on till it was almost night,
throwing out wampum to the standers by. At night I asked them again, if
I should go home? They all as one said no, except my husband would come
for me. When we were lain down, my master went out of the wigwam, and
by and by sent in an Indian called James the Printer, who told Mr. Hoar,
that my master would let me go home tomorrow, if he would let him have
one pint of liquors. Then Mr. Hoar called his own Indians, Tom and
Peter, and bid them go and see whether he would promise it before them
three; and if he would, he should have it; which he did, and he had it.
Then Philip smelling the business called me to him, and asked me what I
would give him, to tell me some good news, and speak a good word for
me. I told him I could not tell what to give him. I would [give him]
anything I had, and asked him what he would have? He said two coats
and twenty shillings in money, and half a bushel of seed corn, and some
tobacco. I thanked him for his love; but I knew the good news as well
as the crafty fox. My master after he had had his drink, quickly came
ranting into the wigwam again, and called for Mr. Hoar, drinking to him,
and saying, he was a good man, and then again he would say, "hang him
rogue." Being almost drunk, he would drink to him, and yet presently say
he should be hanged. Then he called for me. I trembled to hear him, yet
I was fain to go to him, and he drank to me, showing no incivility. He
was the first Indian I saw drunk all the while that I was amongst them.
At last his squaw ran out, and he after her, round the wigwam, with
his money jingling at his knees. But she escaped him. But having an old
squaw he ran to her; and so through the Lord's mercy, we were no more
troubled that night. Yet I had not a comfortable night's rest; for I
think I can say, I did not sleep for three nights together. The night
before the letter came from the council, I could not rest, I was so full
of fears and troubles, God many times leaving us most in the dark, when
deliverance is nearest. Yea, at this time I could not rest night nor
day. The next night I was overjoyed, Mr. Hoar being come, and that with
such good tidings. The third night I was even swallowed up with the
thoughts of things, viz. that ever I should go home again; and that I
must go, leaving my children behind me in the wilderness; so that sleep
was now almost departed from mine eyes.
On Tuesday morning they called their general court (as they call it) to
consult and determine, whether I should go home or no. And they all
as one man did seemingly consent to it, that I should go home; except
Philip, who would not come among them.
But before I go any further, I would take leave to mention a few
remarkable passages of providence, which I took special notice of in my
afflicted time.
1. Of the fair opportunity lost in the long march, a little after the
fort fight, when our English army was so numerous, and in pursuit of the
enemy, and so near as to take several and destroy them, and the enemy in
such distress for food that our men might track them by their rooting
in the earth for ground nuts, whilst they were flying for their lives.
I say, that then our army should want provision, and be forced to leave
their pursuit and return homeward; and the very next week the enemy came
upon our town, like bears bereft of their whelps, or so many ravenous
wolves, rending us and our lambs to death. But what shall I say? God
seemed to leave his People to themselves, and order all things for His
own holy ends. Shall there be evil in the City and the Lord hath not
done it? They are not grieved for the affliction of Joseph, therefore
shall they go captive, with the first that go captive. It is the Lord's
doing, and it should be marvelous in our eyes.
2. I cannot but remember how the Indians derided the slowness, and
dullness of the English army, in its setting out. For after the
desolations at Lancaster and Medfield, as I went along with them, they
asked me when I thought the English army would come after them? I told
them I could not tell. "It may be they will come in May," said they.
Thus did they scoff at us, as if the English would be a quarter of a
year getting ready.
3. Which also I have hinted before, when the English army with
new supplies were sent forth to pursue after the enemy, and they
understanding it, fled before them till they came to Banquang river,
where they forthwith went over safely; that that river should be
impassable to the English. I can but admire to see the wonderful
providence of God in preserving the heathen for further affliction to
our poor country. They could go in great numbers over, but the English
must stop. God had an over-ruling hand in all those things.
4. It was thought, if their corn were cut down, they would starve and
die with hunger, and all their corn that could be found, was destroyed,
and they driven from that little they had in store, into the woods in
the midst of winter; and yet how to admiration did the Lord preserve
them for His holy ends, and the destruction of many still amongst the
English! strangely did the Lord provide for them; that I did not see
(all the time I was among them) one man, woman, or child, die with
hunger.
Though many times they would eat that, that a hog or a dog would hardly
touch; yet by that God strengthened them to be a scourge to His people.
The chief and commonest food was ground nuts. They eat also nuts and
acorns, artichokes, lilly roots, ground beans, and several other weeds
and roots, that I know not.
They would pick up old bones, and cut them to pieces at the joints, and
if they were full of worms and maggots, they would scald them over the
fire to make the vermine come out, and then boil them, and drink up the
liquor, and then beat the great ends of them in a mortar, and so eat
them. They would eat horse's guts, and ears, and all sorts of wild birds
which they could catch; also bear, venison, beaver, tortoise, frogs,
squirrels, dogs, skunks, rattlesnakes; yea, the very bark of trees;
besides all sorts of creatures, and provision which they plundered from
the English. I can but stand in admiration to see the wonderful power
of God in providing for such a vast number of our enemies in the
wilderness, where there was nothing to be seen, but from hand to mouth.
Many times in a morning, the generality of them would eat up all they
had, and yet have some further supply against they wanted. It is said,
"Oh, that my People had hearkened to me, and Israel had walked in my
ways, I should soon have subdued their Enemies, and turned my hand
against their Adversaries" (Psalm 81.13-14). But now our perverse and
evil carriages in the sight of the Lord, have so offended Him, that
instead of turning His hand against them, the Lord feeds and nourishes
them up to be a scourge to the whole land.
5. Another thing that I would observe is the strange providence of God,
in turning things about when the Indians was at the highest, and the
English at the lowest. I was with the enemy eleven weeks and five
days, and not one week passed without the fury of the enemy, and some
desolation by fire and sword upon one place or other. They mourned (with
their black faces) for their own losses, yet triumphed and rejoiced in
their inhumane, and many times devilish cruelty to the English. They
would boast much of their victories; saying that in two hours time they
had destroyed such a captain and his company at such a place; and boast
how many towns they had destroyed, and then scoff, and say they had done
them a good turn to send them to Heaven so soon. Again, they would say
this summer that they would knock all the rogues in the head, or drive
them into the sea, or make them fly the country; thinking surely,
Agag-like, "The bitterness of Death is past." Now the heathen begins to
think all is their own, and the poor Christians' hopes to fail (as
to man) and now their eyes are more to God, and their hearts sigh
heaven-ward; and to say in good earnest, "Help Lord, or we perish."
When the Lord had brought His people to this, that they saw no help in
anything but Himself; then He takes the quarrel into His own hand; and
though they had made a pit, in their own imaginations, as deep as hell
for the Christians that summer, yet the Lord hurled themselves into it.
And the Lord had not so many ways before to preserve them, but now He
hath as many to destroy them.
But to return again to my going home, where we may see a remarkable
change of providence. At first they were all against it, except my
husband would come for me, but afterwards they assented to it, and
seemed much to rejoice in it; some asked me to send them some bread,
others some tobacco, others shaking me by the hand, offering me a hood
and scarfe to ride in; not one moving hand or tongue against it. Thus
hath the Lord answered my poor desire, and the many earnest requests of
others put up unto God for me. In my travels an Indian came to me and
told me, if I were willing, he and his squaw would run away, and go home
along with me. I told him no: I was not willing to run away, but desired
to wait God's time, that I might go home quietly, and without fear. And
now God hath granted me my desire. O the wonderful power of God that I
have seen, and the experience that I have had. I have been in the midst
of those roaring lions, and savage bears, that feared neither God, nor
man, nor the devil, by night and day, alone and in company, sleeping all
sorts together, and yet not one of them ever offered me the least abuse
of unchastity to me, in word or action. Though some are ready to say I
speak it for my own credit; but I speak it in the presence of God, and
to His Glory. God's power is as great now, and as sufficient to save, as
when He preserved Daniel in the lion's den; or the three children in the
fiery furnace. I may well say as his Psalm 107.12 "Oh give thanks unto
the Lord for he is good, for his mercy endureth for ever." Let the
redeemed of the Lord say so, whom He hath redeemed from the hand of
the enemy, especially that I should come away in the midst of so many
hundreds of enemies quietly and peaceably, and not a dog moving his
tongue. So I took my leave of them, and in coming along my heart melted
into tears, more than all the while I was with them, and I was almost
swallowed up with the thoughts that ever I should go home again. About
the sun going down, Mr. Hoar, and myself, and the two Indians came
to Lancaster, and a solemn sight it was to me. There had I lived many
comfortable years amongst my relations and neighbors, and now not one
Christian to be seen, nor one house left standing. We went on to
a farmhouse that was yet standing, where we lay all night, and a
comfortable lodging we had, though nothing but straw to lie on. The
Lord preserved us in safety that night, and raised us up again in the
morning, and carried us along, that before noon, we came to Concord. Now
was I full of joy, and yet not without sorrow; joy to see such a lovely
sight, so many Christians together, and some of them my neighbors. There
I met with my brother, and my brother-in-law, who asked me, if I knew
where his wife was? Poor heart! he had helped to bury her, and knew it
not. She being shot down by the house was partly burnt, so that
those who were at Boston at the desolation of the town, and came back
afterward, and buried the dead, did not know her. Yet I was not without
sorrow, to think how many were looking and longing, and my own children
amongst the rest, to enjoy that deliverance that I had now received,
and I did not know whether ever I should see them again. Being recruited
with food and raiment we went to Boston that day, where I met with my
dear husband, but the thoughts of our dear children, one being dead, and
the other we could not tell where, abated our comfort each to other. I
was not before so much hemmed in with the merciless and cruel heathen,
but now as much with pitiful, tender-hearted and compassionate
Christians. In that poor, and distressed, and beggarly condition I was
received in; I was kindly entertained in several houses. So much love I
received from several (some of whom I knew, and others I knew not) that
I am not capable to declare it. But the Lord knows them all by name.
The Lord reward them sevenfold into their bosoms of His spirituals,
for their temporals. The twenty pounds, the price of my redemption,
was raised by some Boston gentlemen, and Mrs. Usher, whose bounty and
religious charity, I would not forget to make mention of. Then Mr.
Thomas Shepard of Charlestown received us into his house, where we
continued eleven weeks; and a father and mother they were to us. And
many more tender-hearted friends we met with in that place. We were now
in the midst of love, yet not without much and frequent heaviness of
heart for our poor children, and other relations, who were still in
affliction. The week following, after my coming in, the governor and
council sent forth to the Indians again; and that not without success;
for they brought in my sister, and goodwife Kettle. Their not knowing
where our children were was a sore trial to us still, and yet we were
not without secret hopes that we should see them again. That which was
dead lay heavier upon my spirit, than those which were alive and amongst
the heathen: thinking how it suffered with its wounds, and I was no
way able to relieve it; and how it was buried by the heathen in the
wilderness from among all Christians. We were hurried up and down in our
thoughts, sometime we should hear a report that they were gone this way,
and sometimes that; and that they were come in, in this place or that.
We kept inquiring and listening to hear concerning them, but no certain
news as yet. About this time the council had ordered a day of public
thanksgiving. Though I thought I had still cause of mourning, and being
unsettled in our minds, we thought we would ride toward the eastward,
to see if we could hear anything concerning our children. And as we were
riding along (God is the wise disposer of all things) between Ipswich
and Rowley we met with Mr. William Hubbard, who told us that our son
Joseph was come in to Major Waldron's, and another with him, which was
my sister's son. I asked him how he knew it? He said the major himself
told him so. So along we went till we came to Newbury; and their
minister being absent, they desired my husband to preach the
thanksgiving for them; but he was not willing to stay there that night,
but would go over to Salisbury, to hear further, and come again in the
morning, which he did, and preached there that day. At night, when
he had done, one came and told him that his daughter was come in at
Providence. Here was mercy on both hands. Now hath God fulfilled that
precious Scripture which was such a comfort to me in my distressed
condition. When my heart was ready to sink into the earth (my children
being gone, I could not tell whither) and my knees trembling under me,
and I was walking through the valley of the shadow of death; then the
Lord brought, and now has fulfilled that reviving word unto me: "Thus
saith the Lord, Refrain thy voice from weeping, and thine eyes from
tears, for thy Work shall be rewarded, saith the Lord, and they shall
come again from the Land of the Enemy." Now we were between them, the
one on the east, and the other on the west. Our son being nearest, we
went to him first, to Portsmouth, where we met with him, and with the
Major also, who told us he had done what he could, but could not redeem
him under seven pounds, which the good people thereabouts were pleased
to pay. The Lord reward the major, and all the rest, though unknown
to me, for their labor of Love. My sister's son was redeemed for four
pounds, which the council gave order for the payment of. Having now
received one of our children, we hastened toward the other. Going back
through Newbury my husband preached there on the Sabbath day; for which
they rewarded him many fold.
On Monday we came to Charlestown, where we heard that the governor of
Rhode Island had sent over for our daughter, to take care of her,
being now within his jurisdiction; which should not pass without our
acknowledgments. But she being nearer Rehoboth than Rhode Island, Mr.
Newman went over, and took care of her and brought her to his own house.
And the goodness of God was admirable to us in our low estate, in that
He raised up passionate friends on every side to us, when we had nothing
to recompense any for their love. The Indians were now gone that way,
that it was apprehended dangerous to go to her. But the carts which
carried provision to the English army, being guarded, brought her with
them to Dorchester, where we received her safe. Blessed be the Lord for
it, for great is His power, and He can do whatsoever seemeth Him good.
Her coming in was after this manner: she was traveling one day with the
Indians, with her basket at her back; the company of Indians were got
before her, and gone out of sight, all except one squaw; she followed
the squaw till night, and then both of them lay down, having nothing
over them but the heavens and under them but the earth. Thus she
traveled three days together, not knowing whither she was going; having
nothing to eat or drink but water, and green hirtle-berries. At last
they came into Providence, where she was kindly entertained by several
of that town. The Indians often said that I should never have her under
twenty pounds. But now the Lord hath brought her in upon free-cost, and
given her to me the second time. The Lord make us a blessing indeed,
each to others. Now have I seen that Scripture also fulfilled, "If any
of thine be driven out to the outmost parts of heaven, from thence will
the Lord thy God gather thee, and from thence will he fetch thee. And
the Lord thy God will put all these curses upon thine enemies, and on
them which hate thee, which persecuted thee" (Deuteronomy 30.4-7). Thus
hath the Lord brought me and mine out of that horrible pit, and hath set
us in the midst of tender-hearted and compassionate Christians. It is
the desire of my soul that we may walk worthy of the mercies received,
and which we are receiving.
Our family being now gathered together (those of us that were living),
the South Church in Boston hired an house for us. Then we removed from
Mr. Shepard's, those cordial friends, and went to Boston, where we
continued about three-quarters of a year. Still the Lord went along with
us, and provided graciously for us. I thought it somewhat strange to set
up house-keeping with bare walls; but as Solomon says, "Money answers
all things" and that we had through the benevolence of Christian
friends, some in this town, and some in that, and others; and some
from England; that in a little time we might look, and see the house
furnished with love. The Lord hath been exceeding good to us in our
low estate, in that when we had neither house nor home, nor other
necessaries, the Lord so moved the hearts of these and those towards us,
that we wanted neither food, nor raiment for ourselves or ours: "There
is a Friend which sticketh closer than a Brother" (Proverbs 18.24). And
how many such friends have we found, and now living amongst? And truly
such a friend have we found him to be unto us, in whose house we lived,
viz. Mr. James Whitcomb, a friend unto us near hand, and afar off.
I can remember the time when I used to sleep quietly without workings
in my thoughts, whole nights together, but now it is other ways with me.
When all are fast about me, and no eye open, but His who ever waketh, my
thoughts are upon things past, upon the awful dispensation of the
Lord towards us, upon His wonderful power and might, in carrying of us
through so many difficulties, in returning us in safety, and suffering
none to hurt us. I remember in the night season, how the other day I was
in the midst of thousands of enemies, and nothing but death before me.
It is then hard work to persuade myself, that ever I should be satisfied
with bread again. But now we are fed with the finest of the wheat, and,
as I may say, with honey out of the rock. Instead of the husk, we have
the fatted calf. The thoughts of these things in the particulars of
them, and of the love and goodness of God towards us, make it true
of me, what David said of himself, "I watered my Couch with my tears"
(Psalm 6.6). Oh! the wonderful power of God that mine eyes have seen,
affording matter enough for my thoughts to run in, that when others are
sleeping mine eyes are weeping.
I have seen the extreme vanity of this world: One hour I have been in
health, and wealthy, wanting nothing. But the next hour in sickness and
wounds, and death, having nothing but sorrow and affliction.
Before I knew what affliction meant, I was ready sometimes to wish for
it. When I lived in prosperity, having the comforts of the world about
me, my relations by me, my heart cheerful, and taking little care for
anything, and yet seeing many, whom I preferred before myself, under
many trials and afflictions, in sickness, weakness, poverty, losses,
crosses, and cares of the world, I should be sometimes jealous least I
should have my portion in this life, and that Scripture would come to my
mind, "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every Son
whom he receiveth" (Hebrews 12.6). But now I see the Lord had His
time to scourge and chasten me. The portion of some is to have their
afflictions by drops, now one drop and then another; but the dregs of
the cup, the wine of astonishment, like a sweeping rain that leaveth no
food, did the Lord prepare to be my portion. Affliction I wanted, and
affliction I had, full measure (I thought), pressed down and running
over. Yet I see, when God calls a person to anything, and through never
so many difficulties, yet He is fully able to carry them through and
make them see, and say they have been gainers thereby. And I hope I can
say in some measure, as David did, "It is good for me that I have been
afflicted." The Lord hath showed me the vanity of these outward things.
That they are the vanity of vanities, and vexation of spirit, that they
are but a shadow, a blast, a bubble, and things of no continuance. That
we must rely on God Himself, and our whole dependance must be upon Him.
If trouble from smaller matters begin to arise in me, I have something
at hand to check myself with, and say, why am I troubled? It was but
the other day that if I had had the world, I would have given it for
my freedom, or to have been a servant to a Christian. I have learned to
look beyond present and smaller troubles, and to be quieted under them.
As Moses said, "Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord" (Exodus
14.13).
Finis.