Bennett and Arcane now concluded not to wait for me to go ahead and
explore out a way for them to follow, as I had done for a long time, but
to go ahead as it was evidently the best way to turn south and make our
own road, and find the water and passes all for ourselves. So they
hitched up and rolled down the cañon, and out into the valley and then
turned due south. We had not gone long on this course before we saw that
we must cross the valley and get over to the west side. To do this we
must cross through some water, and for fear the ground might be miry, I
went to a sand hill near by and got a mesquite stick about three feet
long with which to sound out our way. I rolled up my pants pulled off my
moccasins and waded in, having the teams stand still till I could find
out whether it was safe for them to follow or not by ascertaining the
depth of the water and the character of the bottom.
The water was very clear and the bottom seemed uneven, there being some
deep holes. Striking my stick on the bottom it seemed solid as a rock,
and breaking off a small projecting point I found it to be solid rock
salt. As the teams rolled along they scarcely roiled the water. It
looked to me as if the whole valley which might be a hundred miles long
might have been a solid bed of rock salt. Before we reached this water
there were many solid blocks of salt lying around covered with a little
dirt on the top.
The second night we found a good spring of fresh water coming out from
the bottom of the snow peak almost over our heads. The small flow from
it spread out over the sand and sank in a very short distance and there
was some quite good grass growing around.
This was a temporary relief, but brought us face to face with stranger
difficulties and a more hopeless outlook.
There was no possible way to cross this high steep range of mountains
anywhere to the north and the Jayhawkers had abandoned their wagons and
burned them, and we could no longer follow on the trail they made. It
seemed that there was no other alternative but for us to keep along the
edge of the mountain to the south and search for another pass. Some who
had read Fremont's travels said that the range immediately west of us
must be the one he described, on the west side of which was a beautiful
country, of rich soil and having plenty of cattle, and horses, and
containing some settlers, but on the east all was barren, dry, rocky,
sandy desert as far as could be seen. We knew this eastern side answered
well the description and believed that this was really the range
described, or at least it was close by.
We had to look over the matter very carefully and consider all the
conditions and circumstances of the case. We could see the mountains
were lower to the south, but they held no snow and seemed only barren
rocks piled up in lofty peaks, and as we looked it seemed the most
God-forsaken country in the world.
We had been in the region long enough to know the higher mountains
contained most water, and that the valleys had bad water or none at all,
so that while the lower altitudes to the south gave some promise of
easier crossing it gave us no promise of water or grass, without which
we must certainly perish. In a certain sense we were lost. The clear
night and days furnished us with the mean of telling the points of
compass as the sun rose and set, but not a sign of life in nature's wide
domain had been seen for a month or more. A vest pocketful of powder and
shot would last a good hunter till he starved to death for there was not
a living thing to shoot great or small.
We talked over our present position pretty freely, and every one was
asked to speak his unbiased mind, for we knew not who might be right or
who might be wrong, and some one might make a suggestion of the utmost
value. We all felt pretty much downhearted. Our civilized provisions
were getting so scarce that all must be saved for the women and
children, and the men must get along some way on ox meat alone. It was
decided not a scrap of anything that would sustain life must go to
waste. The blood, hide and intestines were all prepared in some way for
food. This meeting lasted till late at night. If some of them had lost
their minds I should not have been surprised, for hunger swallows all
other feelings. A man in a starving condition is a savage. He may be as
blood-shed and selfish as a wild beast, as docile and gentle as a lamb,
or as wild and crazy as a terrified animal, devoid of affection, reason
or thought of justice. We were none of us as bad as this, and yet there
was a strange look in the eyes of some of us sometimes, as I saw by
looking round, and as others no doubt realized for I saw them making
mysterious glances even in my direction.
Morning came and all were silent. The dim prospect of the future seemed
to check every tongue. When one left a water hole he went away as if in
doubt whether he would ever enjoy the pleasure of another drop. Every
camp was sad beyond description, and no one can guide the pen to make it
tell the tale as it seemed to us. When our morning meal of soup and meat
was finished, Bennett's two teams, and the two of Arcane's concluded
their chances of life were better if they could take some provisions and
strike out on foot, and so they were given what they could carry, and
they arranged their packs and bade us a sorrowful good bye hoping to
meet again on the Pacific Coast. There were genuine tears shed at the
parting and I believe neither party ever expected to see each other in
this life again.
Bennett's two men were named Silas Helmer and S.S. or C.C. Abbott, but I
have forgotten the names of Arcane's men. Mr. Abbott was from New York,
a harness maker by trade, and he took his circular cutting knife with
him, saying it was light to carry and the weapon he should need. One of
them had a gun. They took the trail taken by the Jayhawkers. All the
provisions they could carry besides their blankets could not last them
to exceed 10 days, and I well knew they could hardly get off the desert
in that time. Mr. Abbott was a man I loved fondly. He was good company
in camp, and happy and sociable. He had shown no despondency at any time
until the night of the last meeting and the morning of the parting. His
chances seemed to me to be much poorer than my own, but I hardly think
he realized it. When in bed I could not keep my thoughts back from the
old home I had left, where good water and a bountiful spread were always
ready at the proper hour. I know I dreamed of taking a draft of cool,
sweet water from a full pitcher and then woke up with my mouth and
throat as dry as dust. The good home I left behind was a favorite theme
about the campfire, and many a one told of the dream pictures, natural
as life, that came to him of the happy Eastern home with comfort and
happiness surrounding it, even if wealth was lacking. The home of the
poorest man on earth was preferable to this place. Wealth was of no
value here. A hoard of twenty dollar gold pieces could now
stand before us the whole day long with no temptation to touch a single
coin, for its very weight would drag us nearer death. We could purchase
nothing with it and we would have cared no more for it as a thing of
value than we did the desert sands. We would have given much more for
some of the snow which we could see drifting over the peak of the great
snow mountains over our heads like a dusty cloud.
Deeming it best to spare the strength as much as possible, I threw away
everything I could, retaining only my glass, some ammunition, sheath
knife and tin cup. No unnecessary burden could be put on any man or
beast, lest he lie down under it, never to rise again. Life and strength
were sought to be husbanded in every possible way.
Leaving this camp where the water was appreciated we went over a road
for perhaps 8 miles and came to the mouth of a rocky cañon leading up
west to the summit of the range. This cañon was too rough for wagons to
pass over. Out in the valley near its mouth was a mound about four feet
high and in the top of this a little well that held about a pailful of
water that was quite strong of sulphur. When stirred it would look quite
black. About the mouth of the well was a wire grass that seemed to
prevent it caving in. It seems the drifting sand had slowly built this
little mound about the little well of water in a curious way. We spent
the night here and kept a man at the well all night to keep the water
dipped out as fast as it flowed, in order to get enough for ourselves
and cattle. The oxen drank this water better than they did the brackish
water of the former camp.
The plain was thinly scattered with sage brush, and up near the base of
the mountain some greasewood grew in little bunches like currant bushes.
The men with wagons decided they would take this cañon and follow it up
to try to get over the range, and not wait for me to go ahead and
explore, as they said it took too much time and the provisions,
consisting now of only ox meat were getting more precarious every day.
To help them all I could and if possible to be forewarned a little of
danger, I shouldered my gun and pushed on ahead as fast as I could. The
bottom was of sharp broken rock, which would be very hard for the feet
of the oxen, although we had rawhide moccasins for them for some time,
and this was the kind of foot-gear I wore myself. I walked on as rapidly
as I could, and after a time came to where the cañon spread out into a
kind of basin enclosed on all sides but the entrance, with a wall of
high, steep rock, possible to ascend on foot but which would apparently
bar the further progress of the wagons, and I turned back utterly
disappointed. I got on an elevation where I could look over the country
east and south, and it looked as if there was not a drop of water in its
whole extent, and there was no snow on the dark mountains that stretched
away to the southward and it seemed to me as if difficulties beset me on
every hand. I hurried back down the cañon, but it was nearly dark before
I met the wagons. By a mishap I fell and broke the stock of my gun, over
which I was very sorry, for it was an excellent one, the best I ever
owned. I carried it in two pieces to the camp and told them the way was
barred, at which they could hardly endure their disappointment. They
turned in the morning, as the cattle had nothing to eat here and no
water, and not much of any food since leaving the spring; they looked
terribly bad, and the rough road coming up had nearly finished them.
They were yoked up and the wagons turned about for the return. They went
better down hill, but it was not long before one of Bennett's oxen lay
down, and could not be persuaded to rise again. This was no place to
tarry in the hot sun, so the ox was killed and the carcass distributed
among the wagons. So little draft was required that the remaining oxen
took the wagon down. When within two or three miles of the water hole
one of Arcane's oxen also failed and lay down, so they turned him out
and when he had rested a little he came on again for a while, but soon
lay down again.
Arcane took a bucket of water back from camp and after drinking it and
resting awhile the ox was driven down to the spring.
This night we had another meeting to decide upon our course and
determine what to do. At this meeting no one was wiser than another, for
no one had explored the country and knew what to expect. The questions
that now arose were "How long can we endure this work in this situation?
How long will our oxen be able to endure the great hardship on the small
nourishment they receive? How long can we provide ourselves with food?"
We had a few small pieces of dry bread. This was kept for the children
giving them a little now and then. Our only food was in the flesh of the
oxen, and when they failed to carry themselves along we must begin to
starve. It began to look as if the chances of leaving our bones to
bleach upon the desert were the most prominent ones.
One thing was certain we must move somewhere at once. If we stay here we
can live as long as the oxen do, and no longer, and if we go on it is
uncertain where to go, to get a better place. We had guns and ammunition
to be sure, but of late we had seen no living creature in this desert
wild. Finally Mr. Bennett spoke and said:--
"Now I will make you a proposition. I propose that we select two of our
youngest, strongest men and ask them to take some food and go ahead on
foot to try to seek a settlement, and food, and we will go back to the
good spring we have just left and wait for their return. It will surely
not take them more than ten days for the trip, and when they get back we
shall know all about the road and its character and how long it will
take us to travel it. They can secure some other kind of food that will
make us feel better, and when the oxen have rested a little at the
spring we can get out with our wagons and animals and be safe. I think
this is the best and safest way."
"Now what do you all say?" After a little discussion all seemed to agree
that this was the best, and now it remained to find the men to go. No
one offered to accept the position of advance messengers. Finally Mr.
Bennett said he knew one man well enough to know that he would come back
if he lived, and he was sure he would push his way through. "I will take
Lewis (myself) if he will consent to go." I consented, though I knew it
was a hazardous journey, exposed to all sorts of things, Indians,
climate and probable lack of water, but I thought I could do it and
would not refuse. John Rogers a large strong Tennessee, man was then
chosen as the other one and he consented also.
Now preparations began, Mr. Arcane killed the ox which had so nearly
failed, and all the men went to drying and preparing meat. Others made
us some new mocassins out of rawhide, and the women made us each a
knapsack.
Our meat was closely packed, and one can form an idea how poor our
cattle were from the fact that John and I actually packed seven-eighths
of all the flesh of an ox into our knapsacks and carried it away. They
put in a couple of spoonfuls of rice and about as much tea. This seemed
like robbery to the children, but the good women said that in case of
sickness even that little bit might save our lives. I wore no coat or
vest, but took half of a light blanket, while Rogers wore a thin summer
coat and took no blanket. We each had a small tin cup and a small camp
kettle holding a quart. Bennett had me take his seven-shooter rifle, and
Rogers had a good double barreled shot gun. We each had a sheath knife,
and our hats were small brimmed, drab affairs fitting close to the head
and not very conspicuous to an enemy as we might rise up from behind a
hill into possible views. We tried on our packs and fitted the straps a
little so they would carry easy. They collected all the money there was
in camp and gave it to us. Mr. Arcane had about $30 and others threw in
small amounts from forty cents upward. We received all sorts of advice.
Capt. Culverwell was an old sea faring man and was going to tell us how
to find our way back, but Mr. Bennett told the captain that he had known
Lewis as a hunter for many years, and that if he went over a place in
the daytime he could find his way back at night every time. Others
cautioned us about the Indians and told us how to manage. Others told us
not to get caught in deep snow which we might find on the mountains.
This advice we received in all the kindness in which it was given, and
then we bade them all good bye. Some turned away, too much
affected to approach us and others, shook our hands with deep feeling,
grasping them firmly and heartily hoping we would be successful and be
able to pilot them out of this dreary place into a better land. Every
one felt that a little food to make a change from the poor dried meat
would be acceptable. Mr. and Mrs. Bennett and J.B. Arcane and wife were
the last to remain when the others had turned away. They had most faith
in the plan and felt deeply. Mrs. Bennett was the last, and she asked
God to bless us and bring some food to her starving children.
We were so much affected that we could not speak and silently turned
away and took our course again up the canyon we had descended the night
before.
After a while we looked back and when they saw us turn around, all the
hats and bonnets waved us a final parting.
Those left in the camp were Asabel, Bennett and Sarah his wife, with
three children, George, Melissa, and Martha; J.B. Arcane and wife with
son Charles. The youngest children were not more than two years old.
There were also the two Earhart brothers, and a grown son, Capt.
Culverwell, and some others I cannot recall; eleven grown people in all,
besides a Mr. Wade, his wife and three children who did not mingle with
our party, but usually camped a little distance off, followed our trail,
but seemed to shun company. We soon passed round a bend of the cañon,
and then walked on in silence.
We both of us meditated some over the homes of our fathers, but took new
courage in view of the importance of our mission and passed on as fast
as we could.
By night we were far up the mountain, near the perpendicular rough peak,
and far above us on a slope we could see some bunches of grass and sage
brush. We went to this and found some small water holes. No water ran
from them they were so small. Here we staid all night. It did not seem
very far to the snowy peak to the north of us. Just where we were seemed
the lowest pass, for to the south were higher peaks and the rocks looked
as if they were too steep to be got over.
Through this gap came a cold breeze, and we had to look round to get a
sheltered place in which to sleep. We lay down close together, spoon
fashion, and made the little blanket do as cover for the both of us. In
the morning we filled our canteens, which we had made by binding two
powder cans together with strips of cloth, and started for the summit
near by. From this was the grandest sight we ever beheld. Looking east
we could see the country we had been crawling over since November 4th.
"Just look at the cursed country we have come over!" said Rogers as he
pointed over it. To the north was the biggest mountain we ever saw,
peaks on peaks and towering far above our heads, and covered with snow
which was apparently everlasting.
This mountain seemed to have very few trees on it, and in extent, as it
reached away to the north seemed interminable. South was a nearly level
plain, and to the west I thought I could dimly see a range of mountains
that held a little snow upon their summits, but on the main range to the
south there was none. It seemed to me the dim snowy mountains must be as
far as 200 miles away, but of course I could not judge accurately. After
looking at this grand, but worthless landscape long enough to take in
its principal features we asked each other what we supposed the people
we left behind would think to see mountains so far ahead. We knew that
they had an idea that the coast range was not very far ahead, but we saw
at once to go over all these mountains and return within the limits of
fifteen days which had been agreed upon between us, would probably be
impossible, but we must try as best we could, so down the rocky steep we
clambered and hurried on our way. In places the way was so steep that we
had to help each other down, and the hard work made us perspire freely
so that the water was a prime necessity. In one place near here, we
found a little water and filled our canteens, besides drinking a good
present supply. There were two low, black rocky ranges directly ahead of
us which we must cross.
When part way down the mountain a valley or depression opened up in that
direction up which it seemed as if we could look a hundred miles. Near
by and a short distance north was a lake of water and when we reached
the valley we crossed a clear stream of water flowing slowly toward the
lake.
Being in need of water, we rushed eagerly to it and prepared to take a
big drink, but the tempting fluid was as salt as brine and made our
thirst all the more intolerable. Nothing grew on the bank of this stream
and the bed was of hard clay, which glistened in the sun.
We now began the ascent of the next ridge, keeping a westernly course,
and walked as fast as we could up the rough mountain side. We crossed
the head of a cañon near the summit about dark, and here we found a
trail, which from indications we knew to be that of the Jayhawkers, who
had evidently been forced to the southward of the course they intended
to take. They had camped here and had dug holes in the sand in search of
water, but had found none.
We staid all night here and dug around in some other places in the
bottom of the cañon, in the hope to have better luck than they did, but
we got no water anywhere.
We seemed almost perishing for want of water, the hard exercise made us
perspire so freely. In the morning we started on, and near the summit we
came to the dead body of Mr. Fish, laying in the hot sun, as there was
no material near here with which his friends could cover the remains.
This Mr. Fish was the man who left camp some two weeks before in company
with another and who carried the long whiplash wound about his body, in
hope he could somewhere be able to trade it for bread. No doubt in this
very place where he breathed his last, his bones still lie.
As we came in sight of the next valley, we could see a lake of water
some distance south of our western course.
We had followed the Jayhawkers trail thus far, but as we found no water
in small holes in the rocks as we were likely to do when we were the
first to pass, we decided to take a new route in the hope to find a
little water in this way, for we had no hope of finding it in any other.
This valley we now crossed seemed to come to an end about ten miles to
the north of us. To the south it widened out, enclosing the lake spoken
of. This valley was very sandy and hard to walk over. When about halfway
across we saw some ox tracks leading toward the lake, and in the hope we
might find the water drinkable we turned off at right angles to our
course and went that way also. Long before we reached the water of the
lake, the bottom became a thin, slimy mud which was very hard on our
mocassins. When we reached the water we found it to be of a wine color,
and so strongly alkaline as to feel slippery to the touch, and under our
feet.
This side trip, had cost us much exertion and made us feel more thirsty
than ever.
We turned now west again, making for a cañon, up which we passed in the
hope we should at some turn find a little basin of rain water in some
rock. We traveled in it miles and miles, and our mouths became so dry we
had to put a bullet or a small smooth stone in and chew it and turn it
around with the tongue to induce a flow of saliva. If we saw a spear of
green grass on the north side of a rock, it was quickly pulled and eaten
to obtain the little moisture it contained.
Thus we traveled along for hours, never speaking, for we found it much
better for our thirst to keep our mouths closed as much as possible, and
prevent the evaporation. The dry air of that region took up water as a
sponge does. We passed the summit of this ridge without finding any
water, and on our way down the western side we came to a flat place
where there was an Indian hut made of small brush. We now thought there
surely must be some water near and we began a thorough search. The great
snow mountain did not seem far off, but to the south and southwest a
level or inclined plain extended for a long distance. Our thirst began
to be something terrible to endure, and in the warm weather and hard
walking we had secured only two drinks since leaving camp.
We were so sure that there must be water near here that we laid our
knapsacks down by the little hut and looked around in every possible
place we could think of. Soon it got dark and then we made a little fire
as a guide and looked again. Soon the moon arose and helped us some, and
we shouted frequently to each other so as not to get lost.
We were so nearly worn out that we tried to eat a little meat, but after
chewing a long time, the mouth would not moisten it enough so we could
swallow, and we had to reject it. It seemed as if we were going to die
with plenty of food in our hand, because we could not eat it.
We tried to sleep but could not, but after a little rest we noticed a
bright star two hours above the horizon, and from the course of the moon
we saw the star must be pretty truly west of us. We talked a little, and
the burden of it was a fear that we could not endure the terrible thirst
a while longer. The thought of the women and children waiting for our
return made us feel more desperate than if we were the only ones
concerned. We thought we could fight to the death over a water hole if
we could only secure a little of the precious fluid. No one who has ever
felt the extreme of thirst can imagine the distress, the dispair, which
it brings. I can find no words, no way to express it so others can
understand.
The moon gave us so much light that we decided we would start on our
course, and get as far as we could before the hot sun came out, and so
we went on slowly and carefully in the partial darkness, the only hope
left to us being that our strength would hold out till we could get to
the shining snow on the great mountain before us. We reached the foot of
the range we were descending about sunrise. There was here a wide wash
from the snow mountain, down which some water had sometime run after a
big storm, and had divided into little rivulets only reaching out a
little way before they had sunk into the sand.
We had no idea we could now find any water till we at least got very
near the snow, and as the best way to reach it we turned up the wash
although the course was nearly to the north. The course was up a gentle
grade and seemed quite sandy and not easy to travel. It looked as if
there was an all day walk before us, and it was quite a question if we
could live long enough to make the distance. There were quite strong
indications that the water had run here not so very long ago, and we
could trace the course of the little streams round among little sandy
islands. A little stunted brush grew here but it was so brittle that the
stems would break as easy as an icicle.
In order to not miss a possible bit of water we separated and agreed
upon a general course, and that if either one found water he should fire
his gun as a signal. After about a mile or so had been gone over I heard
Roger's gun and went in his direction. He had found a little ice that
had frozen under the clear sky. It was not thicker than window glass.
After putting a piece in our mouths we gathered all we could and put it
into the little quart camp kettle to melt. We gathered just a kettle
full, besides what we ate as we were gathering, and kindled a little
fire and melted it.
I can but think how providential it was that we started in the night for
in an hour after the sun had risen that little sheet of ice would have
melted and the water sank into the sand. Having quenched our thirst we
could now eat, and found that we were nearly starved also. In making
this meal we used up all our little store of water, but we felt
refreshed and our lives renewed so that we had better courage to go on.
We now took our course west again taking a bee line for a bluff that lay
a little to the south of the big snow mountain. On and on we walked till
the dark shadow of the great mountain in the setting sun was thrown
about us, and still we did not seem more than half way to the bluff
before us.
All the way had been hill and very tiresome walking. There was
considerable small brush scattered about, here and there, over this
steeply inclined plain.
We were still several miles from the base of this largest of the
mountains and we could now see that it extended west for many miles. The
buttes to the south were low, black and barren, and to the west as far
as we could see there were no mountains with any snow. As the sun got
further down we could see a small smoke curling up near the base of the
mountain, and we thought it must be some signal made by the Indians, as
we had often seen them signal in that way, but we stopped and talked the
matter over, and as we were yet a long way from the bluff which had been
our objective point, we concluded we would investigate the smoke signal
a little closer. So we set off toward it in the dusk and darkness and
when within about a mile we found we were in a tract that had been
somewhat beaten. Feeling with my fingers I was quite sure I could
distinguish ox tracks, and then was quite sure that we had overtaken the
Jayhawkers, or at least were on their trail. And then I thought perhaps
they had fallen among the Indians, who now might be feasting on their
oxen and it became necessary to use great caution in approaching the
little smoke.
We took a circuitous route and soon saw that the persons were on a
little bench above us and we kept very cautious and quiet, listening for
any sounds that might tell us who they were.
If they were Indians we should probably hear some of their dogs, but we
heard none, and kept creeping closer and closer, till we were within
fifty yards without hearing a sound to give us any idea of who they
were.
We decided to get our guns at full cock and then hail the camp, feeling
that we had a little the advantage of position. We hailed and were
answered in English. "Don't Shoot" said we and they assured us they had
no idea of such a thing, and asked us to come in. We found here to our
surprise, Ed Doty, Tom Shannon, L.D. Stevens, and others whom I do not
recollect, the real Jayhawkers. They gave us some fresh meat for supper,
and near the camp were some water holes that answered well for camp
purposes.
Here an ox had given out and they had stopped long enough to dry the
meat, while the others had gone on a day ahead.
Coming around the mountain from the north was quite a well defined
trail, leading to the west and they said they were satisfied some one
lived at the end of it, and they were going to follow it if it lead to
Mexico or anywhere else. They said that Mr. Brier and his family were
still on behind, and alone. Every one must look out for himself here,
and we could not do much for another in any way.
We inquired of them about the trail over which they had come, and where
they had found water, and we told them of our experience in this
respect. We then related how our train could not go over the mountains
with wagons, how they had returned to the best spring, and that we
started to go through to the settlements to obtain relief while they
waited for our return. We explained to them how they must perish without
assistance. If we failed to get through, they could probably live as
long as the oxen lasted and would then perish of starvation. We told
them how nearly we came to the point of perishing that very morning, of
thirst, and how we were saved by finding a little patch of ice in an
unexpected place, and were thus enabled to come on another days travel.
These men were not as cheerful as they used to be and their situation
and prospects constantly occupied their minds. They said to us that if
the present trail bore away from the mountain and crossed the level
plain, that there were some of them who could not possibly get along
safely to the other side. Some were completely discouraged, and some
were completely out of provisions and dependent on those who had either
provisions or oxen yet on hand. An ox was frequently killed, they said,
and no part of it was wasted. At a camp where there was no water, for
stewing, a piece or hide would be prepared for eating by singeing off
the hair and then roasting in the fire. The small intestines were drawn
through the fingers to clean them, and these when roasted made very fair
food.
They said they had been without water for four or five days at a time
and came near starving to death, for it was impossible to swallow food
when one became so thirsty. They described the pangs of hunger as
something terrible and not to be described. They were willing to give us
any information we desired and we anxiously received all we could, for
on our return we desired to take the best possible route, and we thus
had the experience of two parties instead of one. They told us about the
death of Mr. Fish and Mr. Isham, and where we would find their bodies if
we went over their trail.
In the morning we shouldered our packs again and took the trail leading
to the west, and by night we had overtaken the advance party of the
Jayhawkers, camped in a cañon where there was a little water, barely
sufficient for their use. We inquired why they did not take the trail
leading more directly west at the forks, and they said they feared it
would lead them into deep snow which would be impassible. They said they
considered the trail they had taken as altogether the safest one.
We met Bennett and Arcane's teamsters, and as we expected they were
already out of grub and no way to get anymore. When the party killed an
ox they had humbly begged for some of the poorest parts, and thus far
were alive. They came to us and very pitifully told us they were
entirely out, and although an ox had been killed that day they had not
been able to get a mouthful. We divided up our meat and gave them some
although we did not know how long it would be before we would ourselves
be in the same situation.
Thus far we had not seen anything to shoot, big or little although we
kept a sharp lookout.
The whole camp was silent, and all seemed to realize their situation.
Before them was a level plain which had the appearance of being so broad
as to take five or six days to cross. Judging by the look from the top
of the mountain as we came over, there was little to hope for in the way
of water. We thought it over very seriously. All the water we could
carry would be our canteens full, perhaps two drinks apiece and the poor
meat had so little nourishment that we were weak and unable to endure
what we once could.
We were alone, Rogers and I, in interest at any rate, even if there were
other men about. For the time it really seemed as if there was very
little hope for us and I have often repeated the following lines as very
closely describing my own feelings at that time.
Oh hands, whose loving, gentle grasp I loosed.
When first this weary journey was begun.
If I could feel your touch as once I could.
How gladly would I wish my work undone.
_Harriet Keynon_.
During the evening, I had a talk with Capt. Asa Haines, in which he said
he left a good home in Illinois, where he had everything he could wish
to eat, and every necessary comfort, and even some to spare, and now he
felt so nearly worn out that he had many doubts whether he could live to
reach the mountains, on the other side. He was so deeply impressed that
he made me promise to let his wife and family know how I found him and
how he died, for he felt sure he would never see the California mines. I
said I might not get through myself, but he thought we were so young and
strong that we would struggle through. He said if he could only be home
once more he would be content to stay. This was the general tenor of the
conversation. There was no mirth, no jokes, and every one seemed to feel
that he was very near the end of his life, and such a death as stood
before them, choking, starving in a desert was the most dreary outlook I
ever saw.
This camp of trouble, of forlorn hope, on the edge of a desert
stretching out before us like a small sea, with no hope for relief
except at the end of a struggle which seemed almost hopeless, is more
than any pen can paint, or at all describe. The writer had tried it
often. Picture to yourself, dear reader the situation and let your own
imagination do the rest. It can never come up to the reality.
In the morning, as Rogers and I were about to start, several of the
oldest men came to us with their addresses and wished us to forward them
to their families if we ever got within the reach of mails. These men
shed tears, and we did also as we parted. We turned silently away and
again took up our march.
As we went down the cañon we came to one place where it was so narrow,
that a man or a poor ox could barely squeeze through between the rocks,
and in a few miles more reached the open level plain. When three or four
miles out on the trail and not far from the hills we came to a bunch of
quite tall willows. The center of the bunch had been cut out and the
branches woven in so as to make a sort of corral. In the center of this
was a spring of good water and some good grass growing around. This was
pretty good evidence that some one had been here before. We took a good
drink and filled our canteens anew, for we did not expect to get another
drink for two or three days at least.
We took the trail again and hurried on as the good water made us feel
quite fresh. After a few miles we began to find the bones of animals,
some badly decayed and some well preserved. All the heads were those of
horses, and it puzzled us to know where they came from. As we passed
along we noticed the trail was on a slight up grade and somewhat
crooked. If we stepped off from it the foot sank in about two inches in
dirt finer than the finest flour. The bones were scattered all along,
sometimes the bones of several animals together. Was it the long drive,
poison water, or what? It was evident they had not been killed but had
dropped along the way.
It was a dreary trail at best, and these evidences of death did not help
to brighten it in the least. We wondered often where it led to and what
new things would be our experience. After walking fast all day we came
to quite an elevation, where we could stand and look in all directions.
The low black range where we left the Jayhawkers was in sight, and this
spur of the great snowy mountains extended a long way to the south, and
seemed to get lower and lower, finally ending in low rocky buttes, a
hundred miles away. Some may think this distance very far to see, but
those who have ever seen the clear atmosphere of that region will bear
me out in these magnificent distances. Generally a mountain or other
object seen at a distance would be three or four times as far off as one
would judge at first sight, so deceptive are appearances there. The
broad south end of the great mountain which we first saw the next
morning after we left the wagons, was now plain in sight, and peak after
peak extending away to the north, all of them white with snow. Standing
thus out in the plain we could see the breadth of the mountain east and
west, and it seemed as though it must have been nearly a hundred miles.
The south end was very abrupt and sank as one into a great plain in
which we stood, twenty miles from the mountain's base.
To the northwest we could see a clay lake, or at least that was what we
called it, and a line of low hills seemed to be an extension of the
mountain in a direction swinging around to the south to enclose this
thirsty, barren plain before us, which was bounded by mountains or hills
on these sides. To the south this range seemed to get higher, and we
could see some snow capped mountains to the south of our westerly
course. The low mountains as those seen in the northwest direction is
the same place now crossed by the Southern Pacific Railroad, and known
as the Tehachipi pass, the noted loop, in which the railroad crosses
itself, being on the west slope and Ft. Tejon being on the same range a
little further south where the Sierra Nevada mountains and the Coast
Range join. The first mountain bearing snow, south of our course was
probably what is known as Wilson's peak, and the high mountains still
farther south, the San Bernardino mountains. There were no names there
known to us nor did we know anything of the topography of the country
except that we supposed a range of mountains was all that separated us
from California.
We were yet in the desert, and if we kept our due west course, we must
cross some of the snow before us which if steep gave us some doubts
whether we could get through or not.
We did not know exactly what the people left behind would do if we were
gone longer than we intended, but if they started on it was quite plain
to us they would be lost, and as seven days had already passed we were
in serious trouble for fear we could not complete the trip in the time
allotted to us. We surveyed the plain and mountains to learn its
situation and then started, on following our trail. As we went on we
seemed to be coming to lower ground, and near our road stood a tree of a
kind we had not seen before. The trunk was about six or eight inches
through and six or eight feet high with arms at the top quite as large
as the body, and at the end of the arms a bunch of long, stiff bayonet
shaped leaves.
It was a brave little tree to live in such a barren country. As we
walked on these trees were more plenty and some were much larger than
the first. As we came to the lowest part of the valley there seemed to
be little faint water ways running around little clouds of stunted
shrubs, but there was no signs that very much water ever run in them. We
thought that these were the outlet of the big sandy lake which might get
full of water and overflow through these channels after some great
storm.
As this low ground was quite wide we lost our trail in crossing it, and
we separated as we went along, looking to find it again, till nearly
dark when we looked for a camping place. Fortunately we found a little
pond of rain water, and some of our strange trees that were dead gave us
good material for a fire, so that we were very comfortable indeed,
having both drink and fire.
Starting on again our course was now ascending slightly, and we came
across more and more of the trees, and larger ones than at first. We saw
some that seemed to have broken down with their own weight. The bayonet
shaped leaves seemed to fall off when old and the stalk looked so much
like an old overgrown cabbage stump that we name them "Cabbage trees,"
but afterward learned they were a species of Yucca. We were much worried
at loosing our trail and felt that it would be quite unsafe to try to
cross the mountain without finding it again, so we separated, Rogers
going northwest, and I southwest, agreeing to swing round so as to meet
again about noon, but when we met, neither of us had found a trail, and
we were still about 10 miles from the foothills. Rogers said he had
heard some of the people say that the trail leading from Salt Lake to
Los Angeles crossed such a mountain in a low pass, with very high
mountains on each side, and he supposed that the high mountain to the
south must be the one where the trail crossed, but as this would take us
fully fifty miles south of our course as we supposed it was we hesitated
about going there, and concluded we would try the lowest place in the
mountain first, and if we failed we could then go and try Roger's route,
more to the south.
So we pushed on, still keeping a distance apart to look out for the
trail, and before night, in the rolling hills, we saw here and there
faint traces of it, which grew plainer as we went along, and about
sundown we reached some water holes and from some old skulls of oxen
lying around the ground showing that it had at some previous time been a
camping ground. We found some good large sage brush which made a pretty
good fire, and if we could have had a little fresh meat to roast we
thought we were in a good position for supper. But that poor meat was
pretty dry food. However it kept us alive, and we curled up together and
slept, for the night was cool, and we had to make the little blanket do
its best. We thought we ought to find a little game, but we had not seen
any to shoot since we started.
In the morning the trail led us toward the snow, and as we went along, a
brave old crow surprised us by lighting on a bush near the trail, and we
surprised him by killing him with a charge of shot. "Here's your fresh
meat," said Rogers as he put it into his knapsack to cook for supper,
and marched on. As we approached the summit we could see, on the high
mountains south of us, some trees, and when we came near the highest
part of our road there were some juniper trees near it, which was very
encouraging. We crossed over several miles of hard snow, but it
moistened up our moccassins and made them soft and uncomfortable. After
we had turned down the western slope we killed a small hawk. "Here's
your meat" said I, as the poor thin fellow was stowed away for future
grub, to cook with the crow.
When we got out of the snow we had lost the trail again but the hills on
the sides were covered with large brush, and on a higher part of the
mountain south, were some big trees, and we began to think the country
would change for the better pretty soon. We followed down the ravine for
many miles, and when this came out into a larger one, we were greatly
pleased at the prospect, for down the latter came a beautiful little
running brook of clear pure water, singing as it danced over the stones,
a happy song and telling us to drink and drink again, and you may be
sure we did drink, for it had been months and months since we had had
such water, pure, sweet, free from the terrible alkali and stagnant
taste that had been in almost every drop we had seen. Rogers leveled his
shot gun at some birds and killed a beautiful one with a top knot on his
head, and colors bright all down his neck. It was a California quail. We
said birds always lived where human beings did, and we had great hopes
born to us of a better land. I told John that if the folks were only
there now I could kill game enough for them.
We dressed our three birds and got them boiling in the camp kettle, and
while they were cooking talked over the outlook which was so flattering
that our tongues got loose and we rattled away in strange contrast to
the ominous silence of a week ago. While eating our stew of crow and
hawk, we could see willows alders and big sage brush around and we had
noticed what seemed to be cottonwoods farther down the cañon, and green
trees on the slope of the mountain. We were sure we were on the edge of
the promised land and were quite light hearted, till we began to tell of
plans to get the good people out who were waiting for us beside the
little spring in the desert. We talked of going back at once, but our
meat was too near gone, and we must take them something to encourage
them a little and make them strong for the fearful trip. As to these
birds--the quail was as superb a morsel as ever a man did eat; the hawk
was pretty fair and quite good eating; but that abominable crow! His
flesh was about as black as his feathers and full of tough and bony
sinews. We concluded we did not want any more of that kind of bird, and
ever since that day, when I have heard people talk of "eating crow" as a
bitter pill, I think I know all about it from experience.
There seemed to be no other way for us but to push on in the morning and
try to obtain some relief for the poor women and children and then get
back to them as fast as ever we could, so we shouldered our packs and
went on down the cañon as fast as we could. We came soon to evergreen
oaks and tall cottonwoods, and the creek bottom widened out to two
hundred yards. There were trees on the south side and the brush kept
getting larger and larger. There was a trail down this cañon, but as it
passed under fallen trees we knew it could not have been the same one we
had been following on the other side of the summit, and when we
discovered a bear track in a soft place we knew very well it was not a
trail intended for human beings, and we might be ordered out almost any
moment.
On the high bold grassy point about four hundred yards we saw two horses
that held their heads aloft and gave a snort, then galloped away out of
sight. About 10 o'clock I felt a sudden pain in my left knee, keen and
sharp, and as we went along it kept growing worse. I had to stop often
to rest, and it was quite plain that if this increased or continued I
was sure enough disabled, and would be kept from helping those whom we
had left. Nerved with the idea we must get help to them, and that right
soon, I hobbled along as well as I could, but soon had to say to Rogers
that he had better go on ahead and get help and let me come on as best I
could, for every moment of delay was a danger of death to our party who
trusted us to get them help. Rogers refused to do this, he said he would
stay with me and see me out, and that he could not do much alone, and
had better wait till I got better. So we worked along through the
tangled brush, being many times compelled to wade the stream to get
along, and this made our moccasins soft and very uncomfortable to wear.
I endured the pain all day, and we must have advanced quite a little
distance in spite of my lameness, but I was glad when night came and we
camped in the dark brushy cañon, having a big fire which made me quite
comfortable all night, though it was quite cold, and we had to keep
close together so as to use the blanket. I felt a little better in the
morning and after eating some of our poor dried meat, which was about as
poor as crow, and I don't know but a little worse, we continued on our
way.
The tangle got worse and worse as we descended, and at times we walked
in the bed of the stream in order to make more headway, but my lameness
increased and we had to go very slow indeed. About noon we came to what
looked like an excavation, a hole four feet square or more it looked to
be, and on the dirt thrown out some cottonwood trees had grown, and one
of the largest of these had been cut down sometime before. This was the
first sign of white men we had seen and it was evidently an attempt at
mining, no one knows how long ago. It encouraged us at any rate, and we
pushed on through brush and briers, tangles of wild rose bushes and
bushes of every sort, till all of a sudden we came out into an open
sandy valley, well covered with sage brush and perhaps a hundred yards
wide; probably more.
The hills on the south side had on them some oak trees and grassy spots,
but the north side was thickly covered with brush. Our beautiful little
brook that had kept us company soon sank into the dry sand out of sight,
and we moved rather slowly along every little while we spoke of the
chances of wagons ever getting through the road we had come, and the
hope that my lameness might not continue to retard our progress in
getting back to the place of our starting, that the poor waiting people
might begin to get out of the terrible country they were in and enjoy as
we had done, the beautiful running stream of this side of the mountain.
If I did not get better the chances were that they would perish, for
they never could come through alone, as the distance had proved much
greater than we had anticipated, and long dry stretches of the desert
were more than they would be prepared for. As it was we feared greatly
that we had consumed so much time they would get impatient and start out
and be lost.
I continued to hobble along down the barren valley as well as I could
and here and there some tracks of animals were discovered, but we could
not make out whether they were those of domestic cattle or elk. Soon, on
the side of a hill, rather high up a pack of prairie wolves were
snarling around the carcass of some dead animal, and this was regarded
as another sign that more and better meat could be found, for these
animals only live where some sort of game can be found, and they knew
better than we that it was not for their health to go into the barren
desert.
Before us now was a spur from the hills that reached nearly across our
little valley and shut out further sight in that direction and when we
came to it we climbed up over it to shorten the distance. When the
summit was reached a most pleasing sight filled our sick hearts with a
most indescribable joy. I shall never have the ability to adequately
describe the beauty of the scene as it appeared to us, and so long as I
live that landscape will be impressed upon the canvas of my memory as
the most cheering in the world. There before us was a beautiful meadow
of a thousand acres, green as a thick carpet of grass could make it, and
shaded with oaks, wide branching and symmetrical, equal to those of an
old English park, while all over the low mountains that bordered it on
the south and over the broad acres of luxuriant grass was a herd of
cattle numbering many hundreds if not thousands. They were of all colors
shades and sizes. Some were calmly lying down in happy rumination,
others rapidly cropping the sweet grass, while the gay calves worked off
their superfluous life and spirit in vigorous exercise or drew rich
nourishment in the abundant mother's milk. All seemed happy and content,
and such a scene of abundance and rich plenty and comfort bursting thus
upon our eyes which for months had seen only the desolation and sadness
of the desert, was like getting a glimpse of Paradise, and tears of joy
ran down our faces. If ever a poor mortal escapes from this world where
so many trials come, and joys of a happy Heaven are opened up to him,
the change cannot be much more that this which was suddenly opened to us
on that bright day which was either one of the very last of December
1849 or the first of January 1850, I am inclined to think it was the
very day of the new year, but in our troubles, the accuracy of the
calendar was among the least of our troubles. If it was, as I believe
the beginning of the year, it was certainly a most auspicious one and
one of the most hopeful of my life.
And _now if the others were only here_, was the burden of our thought,
and a serious awakening from the dream of beauty and rich plenty spread
out before us. This ring-streaked and speckled herd might be descended
directly from Jacob's famous herd, blessed of the Lord, and while we
could not keep our thoughts from some sad doubts as to the fate of those
whom we had left behind, we tried to be generally hopeful and courageous
and brightened up our steps to prepare for a relief and return to the
hot dry plain beyond the mountains where they were awaiting us, no doubt
with much tribulation.
I now thought of myself and my failing knee and we sat down under the
shade of an oak to rest, and after a little, better feeling seemed to
come. Down by a deep gully cut by the rains a yearling steer was
feeding, and I took the rifle and crawled down near him and put first
one ball through him, and then another, before he fell dead on the other
side of the wash, when we sprang with all the agility of a deer. We
quickly got some good meat and had it roasted and eaten almost quicker
than can be told. We hardly realized how near starved we were till we
had plenty before us again. We ate till we were satisfied for once, and
for the first time in many long dreary weeks. We kindled a fire and
commenced drying the meat, one sleeping while the other kept the fire,
and changing off every few hours. What a rest that was! One who has
never been nearly worn out and starved, down nearly to the point of
death can never know what it is to rest in comfort. No one can tell. It
was like a dream, a sweet, restful dream where troubles would drown
themselves in sleep. How we felt the strength come back to us with that
food and the long draughts of pure clear water.
The miserable dried meat in our knapsacks was put away and this splendid
jerked beef put in its place. The wolves came to our camp and howled in
dreadful disappointment at not getting a meal. Rogers wanted me to shoot
the miserable howlers, but I let them have their concert out, and
thought going without their breakfast must be punishment enough for
them. As our moccasins were worn out we carefully prepared some sinews
from the steer and made new foot gear from the green hide which placed
us in shape for two or three week's walking.
The morning was clear and pleasant. We had our knapsacks filled with
good food we had prepared, and were enjoying the cool breeze which came
up the valley, when we heard faintly the bark of a dog, or at least we
thought we did. If this were true there must be some one living not very
far away and we felt better. I was still very lame and as we started
along the walking seemed to make it worse again, so that it was all I
could do to follow John on the trail down the valley. As we went along a
man and woman passed us some distance on the left, and they did not seem
to notice us, though we were in plain sight. They were curiously
dressed. The woman had no hoops nor shoes, and a shawl wound about her
neck and one end thrown over her head, was a substitute bonnet. The man
had sandals on his feet, with white cotton pants, a calico shirt, and a
wide rimmed, comical, snuff-colored hat. We at once put them down as
Spaniards, or then descendants of Mexico, and if what we had read about
them in books was true, we were in a set of land pirates, and blood
thirsty men whom we might have occasion to be aware of. We had never
heard a word of Spanish spoken, except perhaps a word or two upon the
plains which some fellow knew, and how we could make ourselves known and
explain who we were was a puzzle to us.
Difficulties began to arise in our minds now we were in an apparent land
of plenty, but in spite of all we went along as fast as my lame knee
would permit me to do. A house on higher ground soon appeared in sight.
It was low, of one story with a flat roof, gray in color, and of a
different style of architecture from any we had ever seen before. There
was no fence around it, and no animals or wagons in sight, nor person to
be seen. As we walked up the hill toward it I told John our moccasins
made of green hide would betray us as having recently killed an animal,
and as these people might be the owners and detain us by having us
arrested for the crime, and this would be especially bad for us just
now. We determined to face the people, and let the fact of our close
necessities be a sufficient excuse for us, if we could make them
understand our circumstances.
As we came near the house no person was seen, but a mule tied to a post
told us there was some one about, and a man soon made an appearance,
dressed about the same style as the one we had passed a short time
before. As we came near we saluted him, bidding him good morning, and he
in turn touched his hat politely, saying something in reply which we
were not able to understand. I showed him that I was lame, and taking
out some money pointed to the mule, but he only shook his head and said
something I could not comprehend. Rogers now began looking around the
house, which was built of sun-dried bricks about one by two feet in
size, and one end was used as a storehouse. As he looked in, a man came
to him and wanted a black, patent leather belt which Rogers wore, having
a watch-pocket attached to it. He offered a quart or more of coarse corn
meal, and Rogers made the trade.
We tried to inquire where we were or where ought to go, but could get no
satisfactory answer from the man, although when we spoke San Francisco
he pointed to the north. This was not very satisfactory to us and we
seemed as badly lost as ever, and where or which way to go we did not
seem very successful in finding out. So we concluded to go on a little
way at least, and I hobbled off in the direction he pointed, which was
down the hill and past a small, poorly fenced field which was sometimes
cultivated, and across the stream which followed down the valley.
Passing on a mile or two we stopped on a big patch of sand to rest.
I told Rogers I did not think this course would lead us to any place in
a month, and just now a delay was ruinous to us and to those who were
waiting for us, and it would not do for us to go off to the north to
find a settlement. While I was expressing my opinion on matters and
things, Rogers had wet up a part of his meal with water and put it to
bake on the cover of his camp kettle. There was a fair sized cake for
each of us, and it was the first bread of any kind we had eaten for
months, being a very acceptable change from an exclusively meat diet.
Looking up the valley we could see a cloud of dust, thick and high, and
soon several men on horseback who came at a rushing gallop. I told
Rogers they were after us, and believed them to be a murderous set who
might make trouble for us. I hastily buried our little store of money in
the sand, telling him that if they got us, they would not get our money.
Putting our guns across our laps in an easy position we had them cocked
and ready for business, and our knives where we could get them handy,
and awaited their arrival.
They came on with a rush until within a short distance and halted for
consultation just across the creek, after which one of them advanced
toward us and as he came near us we could see he was a white man, who
wished us good evening in our own language. We answered him rather
cooly, still sitting in the sand and he no doubt saw that we were a
little suspicious of the crowd. He asked us where we were from, and we
told him our circumstances and condition and that we would like to
secure some means of relief for the people we had left in the desert,
but our means were very limited and we wanted to do the best we could.
He said we were about 500 miles from San Francisco, not far from 100
miles from the coast and thirty miles from Los Angeles. We were much
afraid we would not be able to get anything here, but he told us to go
across the valley to a large live oak tree which he pointed out, and
said we would find an American there, and we should wait there till
morning. He said he would go back and stay at the house we had passed,
and would do what he could to assist us to go to Los Angeles where we
could get some supplies. Then he rode away, and as we talked it over we
saw no way but to follow the directions of our newfound friend.
It seemed now that my lameness had indeed been a blessing. If I had been
able to walk we would now have been well on toward the seashore, where
we could have found no such friend as this who had appeared to us. The
way seemed clearer to us, but the time for our return was almost up and
there was no way of getting back in fifteen days as we had agreed upon,
so there was great danger to our people yet. It seemed very likely to
take us twenty four or thirty days at best, and while they probably had
oxen enough to provide them food for so long a time they might take a
notion to move on, which would be fatal.
At the big live oak tree we found an American camper, who was on his way
to the gold mines. He was going a new route and said the mines could be
reached much quicker than by going up the coast by way of San Francisco.
A new company with wagons was soon to start out to break the road, and
when they crossed the east end of the valley he would follow them. I
think this man's name was Springer. He had come by way of the Santa Fe
route, and the people of Los Angeles had told him this route was an easy
one being often traveled by saddle horses, and if the company could make
it possible for wagons they could have all the cattle they wanted to
kill along the road as their pay for doing the work. Our new friend lay
down early, and as he saw we were scant in blankets he brought some to
us for our use, which were most thankfully received.
As soon as we were alone Rogers mixed up some more of the meal which we
baked in our friend's frying pan, and we baked and ate and baked and ate
again, for our appetites were ravenous, and the demand of our stomachs
got the better of the judgment of our brains.
It was hard to find time to sleep, we were so full of the plans about
the way, which we must manage to get relief for the people. We had many
doubts if animals could ever come over the route we had come over, from
deliberation we decided that by selecting a route with that idea in our
minds, we could get mules and perhaps horses over the country. We
perhaps could go more to the north and take the Jayhawkers trail, but
this would take us fully a hundred miles farther and four or five days
longer, at the best, and every moment of delay was to be carefully
avoided as a moment of danger to our friends.