It was an act of charity I begged: only for a last blessing, that I might
die in peace. I ask not to be received again, as my severe sister [Oh!
that I had not written to her!] is pleased to say, is my view. Let that
grace be denied me when I do.
I could not look forward to my last scene with comfort, without seeking,
at least, to obtain the blessing I petitioned for; and that with a
contrition so deep, that I deserved not, were it known, to be turned over
from the tender nature of a mother, to the upbraiding pen of an uncle!
and to be wounded by a cruel question, put by him in a shocking manner:
and which a little, a very little time, will better answer than I can:
for I am not either a hardened or shameless creature: if I were, I should
not have been so solicitous to obtain the favour I sued for.
And permit me to say that I asked it as well for my father and mother's
sake, as for my own; for I am sure they at least will be uneasy, after I
am gone, that they refused it to me.
I should still be glad to have theirs, and your's, Sir, and all your
blessings, and your prayers: but, denied in such a manner, I will not
presume again to ask it: relying entirely on the Almighty's; which is
never denied, when supplicated for with such true penitence as I hope
mine is.