You have frequently offered to oblige me in any thing that shall be
within your power: and I have such an opinion of you, as to be willing to
hope that, at the times you made these offers, you meant more than mere
compliment.
I have therefore two requests to make to you: the first I will now
mention; the other, if this shall be complied with, otherwise not.
It behoves me to leave behind me such an account as may clear up my
conduct to several of my friends who will not at present concern
themselves about me: and Miss Howe, and her mother, are very solicitous
that I will do so.
I am apprehensive that I shall not have time to do this; and you will not
wonder that I have less and less inclination to set about such a painful
task; especially as I find myself unable to look back with patience on
what I have suffered; and shall be too much discomposed by the
retrospection, were I obliged to make it, to proceed with the requisite
temper in a task of still greater importance which I have before me.
It is very evident to me that your wicked friend has given you, from time
to time, a circumstantial account of all his behaviour to me, and devices
against me; and you have more than once assured me, that he has done my
character all the justice I could wish for, both by writing and speech.
Now, Sir, if I may have a fair, a faithful specimen from his letters or
accounts to you, written upon some of the most interesting occasions, I
shall be able to judge whether there will or will not be a necessity for
me, for my honour's sake, to enter upon the solicited task.
You may be assured, from my enclosed answer to the letter which Miss
Montague has honoured me with, (and which you'll be pleased to return me
as soon as read,) that it is impossible for me ever to think of your
friend in the way I am importuned to think of him: he cannot therefore
receive any detriment from the requested specimen: and I give you my
honour, that no use shall be made of it to his prejudice, in law, or
otherwise. And that it may not, after I am no more, I assure you, that
it is a main part of my view that the passages you shall oblige me with
shall be always in your own power, and not in that of any other person.
If, Sir, you think fit to comply with my request, the passages I would
wish to be transcribed (making neither better nor worse of the matter)
are those which he has written to you, on or about the 7th and 8th of
June, when I was alarmed by the wicked pretence of a fire; and what he
has written from Sunday, June 11, to the 19th. And in doing this you
will much oblige
Your humble servant,
CLARISSA HARLOWE.
***
Now, Lovelace, since there are no hopes for thee of her returning
favour--since some praise may lie for thy ingenuousness, having neither
offered [as more diminutive-minded libertines would have done] to
palliate thy crimes, by aspersing the lady, or her sex--since she may be
made easier by it--since thou must fare better from thine own pen than
from her's--and, finally, since thy actions have manifested that thy
letters are not the most guilty part of what she knows of thee--I see not
why I may not oblige her, upon her honour, and under the restrictions,
and for the reasons she has given; and this without breach of the
confidence due to friendly communication; especially, as I might have
added, since thou gloriest in thy pen and in thy wickedness, and canst
not be ashamed.
But, be this as it may, she will be obliged before thy remonstrances or
clamours against it can come; so, pr'ythee now, make the best of it, and
rave not; except for the sake of a pretence against me, and to exercise
thy talent of execration:--and, if thou likest to do so for these
reasons, rave and welcome.
I long to know what the second request is: but this I know, that if it be
any thing less than cutting thy throat, or endangering my own neck, I
will certainly comply; and be proud of having it in my power to oblige
her.
And now I am actually going to be busy in the extracts.