MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HARLOWE
SATURDAY, JULY 29.
I repine not, my dear Sister, at the severity you have been pleased to
express in the letter you favoured me with; because that severity was
accompanied with the grace I had petitioned for; and because the
reproaches of mine own heart are stronger than any other person's
reproaches can be: and yet I am not half so culpable as I am imagined
to be: as would be allowed, if all the circumstances of my unhappy story
were known: and which I shall be ready to communicate to Mrs. Norton, if
she be commissioned to inquire into them; or to you, my Sister, if you
can have patience to hear them.
I remembered with a bleeding heart what day the 24th of July was. I began
with the eve of it; and I passed the day itself--as it was fit I should
pass it. Nor have I any comfort to give to my dear and ever-honoured
father and mother, and to you, my Bella, but this--that, as it was the
first unhappy anniversary of my birth, in all probability, it will be the
last.
Believe me, my dear Sister, I say not this merely to move compassion, but
from the best grounds. And as, on that account, I think it of the
highest importance to my peace of mind to obtain one farther favour, I
would choose to owe to your intercession, as my sister, the leave I beg,
to address half a dozen lines (with the hope of having them answered as I
wish) to either or to both my honoured parents, to beg their last
blessing.
This blessing is all the favour I have now to ask: it is all I dare to
ask: yet am I afraid to rush at once, though by letter, into the presence
of either. And if I did not ask it, it might seem to be owing to
stubbornness and want of duty, when my heart is all humility
penitence. Only, be so good as to embolden me to attempt this task--
write but this one line, 'Clary Harlowe, you are at liberty to write as
you desire.' This will be enough--and shall, to my last hour, be
acknowledged as the greatest favour, by
Your truly penitent sister,
CLARISSA HARLOWE.