We are busy in preparing for our little journey and voyage: but I will be
ill, I will be very ill, if I cannot hear you are better before I go.
Rogers greatly afflicted me, by telling me the bad way you are in. But
now you have been able to hold a pen, and as your sense is strong and
clear, I hope that the amusement you will receive from writing will make
you better.
I dispatch this by an extraordinary way, that it may reach you time
enough to move you to consider well before you absolutely decide upon the
contents of mine of the 13th, on the subject of the two Misses Montague's
visit to me; since, according to what you write, must I answer them.
In your last, conclude very positively that you will not be his. To be
sure, he rather deserves an infamous death than such a wife. But as I
really believe him innocent of the arrest, and as all his family are such
earnest pleaders, and will be guarantees, for him, I think the compliance
with their entreaties, and his own, will be now the best step you can
take; your own family remaining implacable, as I can assure you they do.
He is a man of sense; and it is not impossible but he may make you a good
husband, and in time may become no bad man.
My mother is entirely of my opinion: and on Friday, pursuant to a hint I
gave you in my last, Mr. Hickman had a conference with the strange
wretch: and though he liked not, by any means, his behaviour to himself;
nor indeed, had reason to do so; yet he is of opinion that he is
sincerely determined to marry you, if you will condescend to have him.
Perhaps Mr. Hickman may make you a private visit before we set out. If
I may not attend you myself, I shall not be easy except he does. And he
will then give you an account of the admirable character the surprising
wretch gave of you, and of the justice he does to your virtue.
He was as acknowledging to his relations, though to his own condemnation,
as his two cousins told me. All he apprehends, as he said to Mr.
Hickman, is that if you go on exposing him, wedlock itself will not wipe
off the dishonour to both: and moreover, 'that you would ruin your
constitution by your immoderate sorrow; and, by seeking death when you
might avoid it, would not be able to escape it when you would wish to do
so.'
So, my dearest friend, I charge you, if you can, to get over your
aversion to this vile man. You may yet live to see many happy days, and
be once more the delight of all your friends, neighbours, and
acquaintance, as well as a stay, a comfort, and a blessing to your Anna
Howe.
I long to have your answer to mine of the 13th. Pray keep the messenger
till it be ready. If he return on Monday night, it will be time enough
for his affairs, and to find me come back from Colonel Ambrose's; who
gives a ball on the anniversary of Mrs. Ambrose's birth and marriage both
in one. The gentry all round the neighbourhood are invited this time, on
some good news they have received from Mrs. Ambrose's brother, the
governor.
My mother promised the Colonel for me and herself, in my absence. I
would fain have excused myself to her; and the rather, as I had
exceptions on account of the day:* but she is almost as young as her
daughter; and thinking it not so well to go without me, she told me. And
having had a few sparring blows with each other very lately, I think I
must comply. For I don't love jingling when I can help it; though I
seldom make it my study to avoid the occasion, when it offers of itself.
I don't know, if either were not a little afraid of the other, whether it
would be possible that we could live together:--I, all my father!--My
mamma--What?--All my mother--What else should I say?
* The 24th of July, Miss Clarissa Harlowe's birth-day.
O my dear, how many things happen in this life to give us displeasure!
How few to give us joy!--I am sure I shall have none on this occasion;
since the true partner of my heart, the principal of the one soul, that
it used to be said, animated the pair of friends, as we were called; you,
my dear, [who used to irradiate every circle you set your foot into, and
to give me real significance in a second place to yourself,] cannot be
there!--One hour of your company, my ever instructive friend, [I thirst
for it!] how infinitely preferable would it be to me to all the
diversions and amusements with which our sex are generally most delighted
--Adieu, my dear!