MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.
M. HALL, FRIDAY, JULY 21.
Just returned from an interview with this Hickman: a precise fop of a
fellow, as starched as his ruffles.
Thou knowest I love him not, Jack; and whom we love not we cannot allow a
merit to! perhaps not the merit they should be granted. However, I am in
earnest, when I say, that he seems to me to be so set, so prim, so
affected, so mincing, yet so clouterly in his person, that I dare engage
for thy opinion, if thou dost justice to him, and to thyself, that thou
never beheldest such another, except in a pier-glass.
I'll tell thee how I play'd him off.
He came in his own chariot to Dormer's; and we took a turn in the garden,
at his request. He was devilish ceremonious, and made a bushel of
apologies for the freedom he was going to take: and, after half a hundred
hums and haws, told me, that he came--that he came--to wait on me--at the
request of dear Miss Howe, on the account--on the account--of Miss
Harlowe.
Well, Sir, speak on, said I: but give me leave to say, that if your book
be as long as your preface, it will take up a week to read it.
This was pretty rough, thou'lt say: but there's nothing like balking
these formalities at first. When they are put out of their road, they
are filled with doubts of themselves, and can never get into it again: so
that an honest fellow, impertinently attacked, as I was, has all the game
in his own hand quite through the conference.
He stroked his chin, and hardly knew what to say. At last, after
parenthesis within parenthesis, apologizing for apologies, in imitation,
I suppose, of Swift's digression in praise of digressions--I presume--I
presume, Sir, you were privy to the visit made to Miss Howe by the young
Ladies your cousins, in the name of Lord M., and Lady Sarah Sadleir, and
Lady Betty Lawrance.
I was, Sir: and Miss Howe had a letter afterwards, signed by his Lordship
and by those Ladies, and underwritten by myself. Have you seen it, Sir?
I can't say but I have. It is the principal cause of this visit: for
Miss Howe thinks your part of it is written with such an air of levity--
pardon me, Sir--that she knows not whether you are in earnest or not, in
your address to her for her interest to her friend.*
* See Mr. Lovelace's billet to Miss Howe, Letter XIV. of this volume.
Will Miss Howe permit me to explain myself in person to her, Mr. Hickman?
O Sir, by no means. Miss Howe, I am sure, would not give you that
trouble.
I should not think it a trouble. I will most readily attend you, Sir, to
Miss Howe, and satisfy her in all her scruples. Come, Sir, I will wait
upon you now. You have a chariot. Are alone. We can talk as we ride.
He hesitated, wriggled, winced, stroked his ruffles, set his wig, and
pulled his neckcloth, which was long enough for a bib.--I am not going
directly back to Miss Howe, Sir. It will be as well if you will be so
good as to satisfy Miss Howe by me.
What is it she scruples, Mr. Hickman?
Why, Sir, Miss Howe observes, that in your part of the letter, you say--
but let me see, Sir--I have a copy of what you wrote, [pulling it out,]
will you give me leave, Sir?--Thus you begin--Dear Miss Howe--
No offence, I hope, Mr. Hickman?
None in the least, Sir!--None at all, Sir!--Taking aim, as it were, to
read.
Do you use spectacles, Mr. Hickman?
Spectacles, Sir! His whole broad face lifted up at me: Spectacles!--What
makes you ask me such a question? such a young man as I use spectacles,
Sir!--
They do in Spain, Mr. Hickman: young as well as old, to save their eyes.
--Have you ever read Prior's Alma, Mr. Hickman?
I have, Sir--custom is every thing in nations, as well as with
individuals: I know the meaning of your question--but 'tis not the
English custom.--
Was you ever in Spain, Mr. Hickman?
No, Sir: I have been in Holland.
In Holland, Sir?--Never to France or Italy?--I was resolved to travel
with him into the land of puzzledom.
No, Sir, I cannot say I have, as yet.
That's a wonder, Sir, when on the continent!