MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE
THURSDAY MORN. JUNE* 20.
* Text error: should be JULY.
What, my dearest creature, have been your sufferings!--What must have
been your anguish on so disgraceful an insult, committed in the open
streets, and in the broad day!
No end, I think, of the undeserved calamities of a dear soul, who had
been so unhappily driven and betrayed into the hands of a vile libertine!
--How was I shocked at the receiving of your letter written by another
hand, and only dictated by you!--You must be very ill. Nor is it to be
wondered at. But I hope it is rather from hurry, and surprise, and
lowness, which may be overcome, than from a grief given way to, which may
be attended with effects I cannot bear to think of.
But whatever you do, my dear, you must not despond! Indeed you must not
despond! Hitherto you have been in no fault: but despair would be all
your own: and the worst fault you can be guilty of.
I cannot bear to look upon another hand instead of your's. My dear
creature, send me a few lines, though ever so few, in your own hand, if
possible.--For they will revive my heart; especially if they can acquaint
me of your amended health.
I expect your answer to my letter of the 13th. We all expect it with
impatience.
His relations are persons of so much honour--they are so very earnest to
rank you among them--the wretch is so very penitent: every one of his
family says he is--your own are so implacable--your last distress, though
the consequence of his former villany, yet neither brought on by his
direction nor with his knowledge; and so much resented by him--that my
mother is absolutely of opinion that you should be his--especially if,
yielding to my wishes, as expressed in my letter, and those of all his
friends, you would have complied, had it not been for this horrid arrest.
I will enclose the copy of the letter I wrote to Miss Montague last
Tuesday, on hearing that nobody knew what was become of you; and the
answer to it, underwritten and signed by Lord M., Lady Sarah Sadleir, and
Lady Betty Lawrance, as well as by the young Ladies; and also by the
wretch himself.
I own, that I like not the turn of what he has written to me; and, before
I will further interest myself in his favour, I have determined to inform
myself, by a friend, from his own mouth, of his sincerity, and whether
his whole inclination be, in his request to me, exclusive of the wishes
of his relations. Yet my heart rises against him, on the supposition
that there is the shadow of a reason for such a question, the woman Miss
Clarissa Harlowe. But I think, with my mother, that marriage is now the
only means left to make your future life tolerably easy--happy there is
no saying.--His disgraces, in that case, in the eye of the world itself,
will be more than your's: and, to those who know you, glorious will be
your triumph.
I am obliged to accompany my mother soon to the Isle of Wight. My aunt
Harman is in a declining way, and insists upon seeing us both--and Mr.
Hickman too, I think.
His sister, of whom we had heard so much, with her lord, were brought
t'other day to visit us. She strangely likes me, or says she does.
I can't say but that I think she answers the excellent character we heard
of her.
It would be death to me to set out for the little island, and not see you
first: and yet my mother (fond of exerting an authority that she herself,
by that exertion, often brings into question) insists, that my next visit
to you must be a congratulatory one as Mrs. Lovelace.
When I know what will be the result of the questions to be put in my name
to that wretch, and what is your mind on my letter of the 13th, I shall
tell you more of mine.
The bearer promises to make so much dispatch as to attend you this very
afternoon. May he return with good tidings to
Your ever affectionate
ANNA HOWE.