To his share of work done in Mexico on partnership
account, sundry jobs, as below.
" killing, maiming, and wounding about 5,000 Mexicans $2.00
" slaughtering one woman carrying water to wounded .10
" extra work on two different Sabbaths (one bombardment
and one assault) whereby the Mexicans were prevented
from defiling themselves with the idolatries of high
mass 3.50
" throwing an especially fortunate and Protestant
bomb-shell into the Cathedral at Vera Cruz, whereby
several female Papists were slain at the altar .50
" his proportion of cash paid for conquered territory 1.75
" do. do. for conquering do. 1.50
" manuring do. with new superior compost called
"American Citizen" .50
" extending the area of freedom and Protestantism .01
" glory .01
------
$9.87
_Immediate payment is requested._
N.B. Thankful for former favours, U. S. requests a continuance of
patronage. Orders executed with neatness and despatch. Terms as low as
those of any other contractor for the same kind and style of work.
I can fancy the official answering my look of horror with,--"Yes, Sir,
it looks like a high charge, Sir; but in these days slaughtering is
slaughtering." Verily, I would that every one understood that it was;
for it goes about obtaining money under the false pretence of being
glory. For me, I have an imagination which plays me uncomfortable
tricks. It happens to me sometimes to see a slaughterer on his way home
from his day's work, and forthwith my imagination puts a cocked-hat upon
his head, and epaulettes upon his shoulders, and sets him up as a
candidate for the Presidency. So, also, on a recent public occasion, as
the place assigned to the "Reverend Clergy" is just behind that of
"Officers of the Army and Navy" in processions, it was my fortune to be
seated at the dinner-table over against one of these respectable
persons. He was arrayed as (out of his own profession) only kings,
court-officers, and footmen are in Europe, and Indians in America. Now
what does my over-officious imagination but set to work upon him, strip
him of his gay livery, and present him to me coatless, his trousers
thrust into the tops of a pair of boots thick with clotted blood, and a
basket on his arm out of which lolled a gore-smeared axe, thereby
destroying my relish for the temporal mercies upon the board before
me.--H. W.]
No. IX.