AN INLAND RUN.
"Won'erful well, 'e doed it, sir. If ever I gets into Queer Street, you
be the one to get me out."
This well-merited compliment was addressed by Dick Herniman to Attorney
Blickson, at a convivial gathering held that same afternoon, to
celebrate the above recorded triumph of Astræa. The festal party had
been convoked at the Wheatsheaf Tavern in Perliton Square, and had taken
the best room in the house, looking out of two windows upon that noble
parallelogram, which Perliton never failed to bring with it, orally,
when it condescended to visit Perlycross. The party had no idea of being
too abstemious, the object of its existence being the promotion, as well
as the assertion, of the liberty of the subject.
Six individuals were combining for this lofty purpose, to wit the two
gentlemen so unjustly charged, and their shrewd ally of high artistic
standing, that very able lawyer who had vindicated right; also Captain
Timberlegs, and Horatio Peckover, Esquire; and pleasant it is as well as
strange to add, Master Joseph Crang of Susscot, blacksmith, farrier, and
engineer. For now little differences of opinion, charges of perjury and
body-snatching, assault and battery, and general malfeasance, were sunk
in the large liberality of success, the plenitude of John Barleycorn,
and the congeniality of cordials.
That a stripling like the Hopper should be present was a proof of some
failure of discretion upon his part, for which he atoned by a tremendous
imposition; while the prudent Pike, and the modest Mopuss, had refused
with short gratitude this banquet, and gone home. But the Hopper
regarded himself as a witness--although he had not been called upon--in
right of his researches at Blackmarsh, and declared that officially he
must hear the matter out, for an explanation had been promised. The
greater marvel was perhaps that Joe Crang should be there, after all the
lash of tongue inflicted on him. But when their Worships were out of
sight, Blickson had taken him by the hand, in a truly handsome manner,
and assured him of the deep respect he felt, and ardent admiration, at
his too transparent truthfulness. Joe Crang, whose heart was very sore,
had shed a tear at this touching tribute, and was fain to admit, when
the lawyer put it so, that he was compelled in his own art to strike the
finest metal the hardest.
So now all six were in very sweet accord, having dined well, and now
refining the firmer substances into the genial flow. Attorney Blickson
was in the chair, for which nature had well qualified him; and perhaps
in the present more ethereal age, he might have presided in a
"syndicate" producing bubbles of gold and purple, subsiding into a bluer
tone.
For this was a man of quick natural parts, and gifted in many ways for
his profession. Every one said that he should have been a Barrister; for
his character would not have mattered so much, when he went from one
town to another, and above all to such a place as London, where they
think but little of it. If he could only stay sober, and avoid
promiscuous company, and make up his mind to keep his hand out of quiet
people's pockets, and do a few other respectable things, there was no
earthly reason that any one could see, why he should not achieve fifty
guineas a day, and even be a match for Mopuss K. C., the father of Mr.
Penniloe's fattest pupil.
"This honourable company has a duty now before it;" Mr. Blickson drew
attention by rapping on the table, and then leaning back in his chair,
with a long pipe rested on a bowl of punch, or rather nothing but a
punch-bowl now. On his right hand sat Herniman, the giver of the
feast--or the lender at least, till prize-money came to fist--and on the
other side was Tremlett, held down by heavy nature from the higher
flights of Bacchus, because no bowl was big enough to make him drunk;
"yes, a duty, gentlemen, which I, as the representative of Law cannot
see neglected. We have all enjoyed one another's 'good health,' in the
way in which it concerns us most; we have also promoted, by such
prayers, the weal of the good Squire Mockham, and that of another
gentleman, who presented himself as _Amicus curiæ_--gentlemen, excuse a
sample of my native tongue--a little prematurely perhaps last night, and
left us to sigh for him vainly to-day. I refer to the gentleman, with
whom another, happily now present, and the soul of our party, and
rejoicing equally in the Scriptural name of James, was identified in an
early stage of this still mysterious history, by one of the most
conscientious, truthful and self-possessed of all witnesses, I have ever
had the honour yet of handling in the box. At least he was not in the
box, because there was none; but he fully deserves to be kept in a box.
I am sorry to see you smile--at my prolixity I fear; therefore I will
relieve you of it. Action is always more urgent than words. Duty demands
that we should have this bowl refilled. Pleasure, which is the fairer
sex of duty, as every noble sailor knows too well, awaits us next in one
of her most tempting forms, as an ancient Poet has observed. If it is
sweet to witness from the shore the travail of another, how much sweeter
to have his trials brought before us over the flowing bowl, while we
rejoice in his success and share it. Gentlemen, I call upon Captain
Richard Herniman for his promised narrative of that great expedition,
which by some confusion of the public mind has become connected with a
darker enterprise. Captain Richard Herniman to the fore!"
"Bain't no Cappen, and han't got no big words," said Timber-leg'd Dick,
getting up with a rattle, and standing very staunchly; "but can't refuse
this here gentleman, under the circumstances. And every word as I says
will be true."
After this left-handed compliment, received with a cheer in which the
lawyer joined, the ancient salt premised that among good friends, he
relied on honour bright, that there should be no dirty turn. To this all
pledged themselves most freely; and he trusting rather in his own
reservations than their pledge, that no harm should ever come of it,
shortly told his story, which in substance was as follows. But some
names which he omitted have been filled in, now that all fear of enquiry
is over.
In the previous September, when the nights were growing long, a
successful run across the Channel had been followed by a peaceful, and
well-conducted, landing at a lonely spot on the Devonshire coast, where
that pretty stream the Otter flows into the sea. That part of the shore
was very slackly guarded then; and none of the authorities got scent,
while scent was hot, of this cordial international transaction. Some of
these genuine wares found a home promptly and pleasantly in the
neighbourhood, among farmers, tradesmen, squires, and others, including
even some loyal rectors, and zealous Justices of the Peace, or
peradventure their wives and daughters capable of minding their own
keys. Some, after dwelling in caves, or furze-ricks, barns,
potato-buries, or hollow trees, went inland, or to Sidmouth, or Seaton,
or anywhere else where a good tax-payer had plastered up his windows, or
put "Dairy" on the top of them.
But the prime of the cargo, and the very choicest goods, such as fine
Cognac, rich silk and rare lace, too good for pedlars, and too dear for
Country parsons still remained stored away very snugly, in some old dry
cellars beneath the courtyard of a ruined house at Budleigh; where
nobody cared to go poking about, because the old gentleman who lived
there once had been murdered nearly thirty years ago, for informing
against smugglers, and was believed to be in the habit of walking there
now. These shrewd men perceived how just it was that he should stand
guard in the spirit over that which in the flesh he had betrayed,
especially as his treason had been caused by dissatisfaction with his
share in a very fine contraband venture. Much was now committed to his
posthumous sense of honour; for the free-traders vowed that they could
make a thousand pounds of these choice wares in any wealthy town, like
Bath, or Bristol, or even Weymouth, then more fashionable than it is
now.
But suddenly their bright hopes were dashed. Instead of reflecting on
the value of these goods, they were forced to take hasty measures for
their safety. A very bustling man, of a strange suspicious turn, as dry
as a mull of snuff, and as rough as a nutmeg-grater; in a word a
Scotchman out of sympathy with the natives, was appointed to the station
at Sidmouth, and before he unpacked his clothes began to rout about,
like a dog who has been trained to hunt for morels. Very soon he came
across some elegant French work, in cottages, or fishers' huts, or on
the necks of milkmaids; and nothing would content him until he had
discovered, even by such deep intriguery as the distribution of
lollipops, the history of the recent enterprise.
"Let bygones be bygones," would have been the Christian sentiment of any
new-comer at all connected with the district; and Sandy MacSpudder must
have known quite well, that his curiosity was in the worst of taste, and
the result too likely to cast discredit on his own predecessor, who was
threatening to leave the world just then, with a large family unprovided
for. Yet such was this Scotchman's pertinacity and push, that even the
little quiet village of Budleigh, which has nothing to do but to listen
to its own brook prattling to the gently smiling valley, even this
rose-fringed couch of peace was ripped up by the slashing of this rude
Lieutenant's cutlass. A spectre, even of the best Devonian antecedents,
was of less account than a scare-crow to this matter-of-fact Lowlander.
"A' can smell a rat in that ghostie," was his profane conclusion.
This put the spirited free-traders on their mettle. Fifty years ago,
that Scotch interloper would have learned the restful qualities of a
greener sod than his. But it is of interest to observe how the English
nature softened, when the martial age had lapsed. It scarcely occurred
to this gentler generation, that a bullet from behind a rock would send
this spry enquirer to solve larger questions on his own account. Savage
brutality had less example now.
The only thing therefore was to over-reach this man. He was watching all
the roads along the coast, to east and west; but to guard all the
tangles of the inward roads, and the blessed complexity of Devonshire
lanes would have needed an army of pure natives. Whereas this busy
foreigner placed no faith in any man born in that part of the
world--such was his judgment--and had called for a draft of fellows
having different vowels.
This being so, it served him right to be largely out-witted by the
thick-heads he despised. And he had made such a fuss about it, at
head-quarters, and promised such wonders if the case were left to him,
that when he captured nothing but a string of worn-out kegs filled with
diluted sheep-wash, he not only suffered for a week from gastric
troubles--through his noseless hurry to identify Cognac--but also
received a stinging reprimand, and an order for removal to a very rugged
coast, where he might be more at home with the language and the manners.
And his predecessor's son obtained that sunny situation. Thus is zeal
rewarded always, when it does not win the seal.
None will be surprised to hear that the simple yet masterly stratagem,
by means of which the fair western county vindicated its commercial
rights against northern arrogance and ignoble arts, was the invention of
a British Tar, an old Agamemnon, a true heart of oak, re-membered also
in the same fine material. The lessons of Nelson had not been thrown
away; this humble follower of that great hero first mis-led the
adversary, and then broke his line. Invested as he was by superior
forces seeking access even to his arsenal, he despatched to the eastward
a lumbering craft, better known to landsmen as a waggon, heavily laden
with straw newly threshed, under which was stowed a tier of ancient
kegs, which had undergone too many sinkings in the sea (when a landing
proved unsafe) to be trusted any more with fine contents. Therefore they
now contained sheep-wash, diluted from the brook to the complexion of
old brandy. In the loading of this waggon special mystery was observed,
which did not escape the vigilance of the keen lieutenant's watchmen.
With a pair of good farm-horses, and a farm-lad on the ridge of the
load, and a heavy fellow whistling not too loudly on the lade-rail, this
harmless car of fictitious Bacchus, crowned by effete Ceres, wended its
rustic way towards the lowest bridge of Otter, a classic and idyllic
stream. These two men, of pastoral strain and richest breadth of
language, carried orders of a simplicity almost equal to their own.
No sooner was this waggon lost to sight and hearing in the thick October
night, and the spies sped away by the short cuts to report it, than a
long light cart, with a strong out-stepping horse, came down the wooded
valley to the ghostly court. In half an hour, it was packed, and started
inland, passing the birthplace of a very great man, straight away to
Farringdon and Rockbear, with orders to put up at Clist Hidon before
daylight, where lived a farmer who would harbour them securely. On the
following night they were to make their way, after shunning Cullompton,
to the shelter in Blackmarsh, where they would be safe from all
intrusion, and might await fresh instructions, which would take them
probably towards Bridgwater, and Bristol. By friendly ministrations of
the Whetstone men, who had some experience in trade of this description,
all this was managed with the best success; Jem Kettel knew the country
roads, by dark as well as daylight, and Harvey Tremlett was not a man to
be collared very easily. In fact, without that sad mishap to their very
willing and active nag, they might have fared through Perlycross, as
they had through other villages, where people wooed the early pillow,
without a trace or dream of any secret treasure passing.
Meanwhile at Sidmouth the clever Scotchman was enjoying his own
acuteness. He allowed that slowly rolling waggon of the Eleusine dame to
proceed some miles upon its course, before his men stood at the horses'
heads. There was wisdom in this, as well as pleasure--the joy a cat
prolongs with mouse--inasmuch as all these good things were approaching
his own den of spoil. When the Scotchmen challenged the Devonshire
swains, with flourish of iron, and of language even harder, an
interpreter was sorely needed. Not a word could the Northmen understand
that came from the broad soft Southron tongues; while the Devonshire men
feigning, as they were bidden, to take them for highwaymen, feigned also
not to know a syllable of what they said.
This led, as it was meant to do, to very lavish waste of time, and
increment of trouble. The carters instead of lending hand for the
unloading of their waggon, sadly delayed that operation, by shouting out
"thaves!" at the top of their voice, tickling their horses into a wild
start now and then, and rolling the Preventive men off at the tail.
MacSpudder himself had a narrow escape; for just when he chanced to be
between two wheels, both of them set off, without a word of notice; and
if he had possessed at all a western body, it would have been run over.
Being made of corkscrew metal by hereditary right, he wriggled out as
sound as ever; and looked forward all the more to the solace underlying
this reluctant pile, as dry as any of his own components.
Nothing but his own grunts can properly express the fattening of his
self-esteem (the whole of which was home-fed) when his men, without a
fork--for the Boreal mind had never thought of that--but with a great
many chops of knuckles (for the skin of straw is tougher than a
Scotchman's) found their way at midnight, like a puzzled troop of
divers, into the reef at bottom of the sheefy billows. Their throats
were in a husky state, from chaff too penetrative, and barn-dust over
volatile, and they risked their pulmonary weal, by opening a too
sanguine cheer.
"Duty compels us to test the staple;" the Officer in command decreed;
and many mouths gaped round the glow of his bullseye. "Don't 'ee titch
none of that their wassh!" The benevolent Devonians exclaimed in vain.
Want of faith prevailed; every man suspected the verdict of his
predecessor, and even his own at first swallow. If timber-leg'd Dick
could have timed the issue, what a landing he might have made! For the
Coast-guard tested staple so that twenty miles of coast were left free
for fifty hours.
Having told these things in his gravest manner, Herniman, who so well
combined the arts of peace and war, filled another pipe, and was open to
enquiry. Everybody accepted his narrative with pleasure, and heartily
wished him another such a chance of directing fair merchandise along the
lanes of luck. The blacksmith alone had some qualms of conscience, for
apparent back-slidings from the true faith of free-trade. But they
clapped him on the back, and he promised with a gulp, that he never
would peep into a Liberal Van again.
"There is one thing not quite clear to me;" said the Hopper, when the
man of iron was settled below the table, whereas the youth had kept
himself in trim for steeple-chasing. "What could our friend have seen in
that vehicle of free-trade, to make him give that horrible account of
its contents? And again, why did Mr. Harvey Tremlett carry off that tool
of his, which I found in the water?"
With a wave of his hand--for his tongue had now lost, by one of nature's
finest arrangements, the exuberance of the morning, whereas a man of
sober silence would now have gushed into bright eloquence--the chairman
deputed to Herniman, and Tremlett, the honour of replying to the
Hopper.
"You see, sir," said the former, "it was just like this. We was hurried
so in stowing cargo, that some of the finest laces in the world, such as
they call _Valentines_, worth maybe fifty or a hundred pounds a yard,
was shot into the hold anyhow, among a lot of silks and so on. Harvey,
and Jemmy, was on honour to deliver goods as they received them;
blacksmith seed some of this lace a'flappin' under black tarporly; and
he knowed as your poor Squire had been figged out for 's last voyage
with same sort of stuff, only not so good. A clever old 'ooman maketh
some, to Perlycrass; Honiton lace they calls it here. What could a'
think but that Squire was there? Reckon, Master Crang would a' told 'e
this, if so be a' hadn't had a little drap too much."
"Thou bee'st a liar. Han't had half enough, I tell 'e." The blacksmith
from under the table replied, and then rolled away into a bellowsful of
snores.
"To be sure!" said Peckover. "I see now. Tamsin Tamlin's work it was.
Sergeant Jakes told me all about it. With all the talk there had been of
robbing graves, and two men keeping in the dark so, no wonder Crang
thought what he did. Many people went to see that lace, I heard; and
they said it was too good to go underground; though nothing could be too
good for the Squire. Well now, about that other thing--why did Mr.
Tremlett make off with _little Billy_?"
"Can't tell 'e, sir, very much about 'un;" the wrestler answered, with a
laugh at the boy's examination. "Happen I tuk 'un up, a'veelin' of 'un,
to frighten blacksmith maybe; and then I vancied a' maight come handy
like, if nag's foot went wrong again. Then when nag gooed on all right,
I just chucked 'un into a pool of watter, for to kape 'un out o' sight
of twisty volk. Ort more to zatisfy this yung gent?"
"Yes. I am a twisty folk, I suppose. Unless there is any objection, I
should like very much to know why Dr. Fox was sent on that fool's errand
to the pits."
"Oh, I can tell 'e that, sir," replied Jem Kettel, for the spirit of the
lad, and his interest in their doings, had made him a favourite with
the present company. "It were one of my mates as took too much trouble.
He were appointed to meet us at the cornder of the four roads, an hour
afore that or more; and he got in a bit of a skear, it seems not knowing
why we was so behindhand. But he knowed Dr. Vox, and thought 'un better
out o' way, being such a sharp chap, and likely to turn meddlesome. He
didn't want 'un to hang about up street, as a' maight with some sick
'ooman, and so he zent un' t'other road, to tend a little haxident.
Wouldn't do he no harm, a' thought, and might zave us some bother. But,
Lord! if us could have only knowed the toorn your volk would putt on it,
I reckon us should have roared and roared, all droo the strates of
Perlycrass. Vainest joke as ever coom to my hearin', or ever wull,
however long the Lord kapeth me a'livin'. And to think of Jem Kettel
being sworn to for a learned Doctor! Never had no teethache I han't,
since the day I heered on it." A hearty laugh was held to be a sovereign
cure for toothache then, and perhaps would be so still, if the patient
could accomplish it.
"Well, so far as that goes, you have certainly got the laugh of us;"
Master Peckover admitted, not forgetting that he himself came in for as
much as any one. "But come now, as you are so sharp, just give me your
good opinion. And you being all along the roads that night, ought to
have seen something. Who were the real people in that horrid business?"
"The Lord in heaven knoweth, sir;" said Tremlett very solemnly. "Us
passed in front of Perlycrass church, about dree o'clock of the morning.
Nort were doing then, or us could scarcely have helped hearing of it.
Even if 'em heered our wheels, and so got out of sight, I reckon, us
must a' seed the earth-heap, though moon were gone a good bit afore
that. And zim'th there waz no harse there. A harse will sing out a'most
always to another harse at night, when a' heareth of him coming, and a'
standeth lonely. Us coom athert ne'er chick nor cheeld from Perlycrass
to Blackmarsh. As to us and Clam-pit volk, zoonder would us goo to
gallows than have ort to say to grave-work. And gallows be too good for
'un, accardin' my opinion. But gen'lemen, afore us parts, I wants to
drink the good health of the best man I've a knowed on airth. Bain't
saying much perhaps, for my ways hath been crooked like. But maketh any
kearless chap belave in good above 'un, when a hap'th acrass a man as
thinketh nort of his own zell, but gi'eth his life to other volk. God
bless Passon Penniloe!"